Episode 435 - The Paradoxes Running Your Sex Life
Sex for Saints
Most of the fights in your marriage aren't problems to solve. They're paradoxes, and we get stuck the moment we try to pick a side instead of accepting both. In this episode, I dig into why our faith is built floor to ceiling on paradoxes, why the Stockdale Paradox (brutal honesty plus unshakable faith) separates couples who heal from couples who quietly erode, and why even the word "cleave" asks you to cling and stand apart at the same time. I share how my clients broke a three-year standoff not by resolving their paradox but by stepping into the middle of it. If you've been waiting for the...
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Episode 434 - Emotional Safety: The Foundation Your Marriage and Sex Life Are Built On
Sex for Saints
What if the problem in your sex life isn’t really about sex at all? In this episode, I’m talking about emotional safety and the powerful role it plays in both your marriage and your sexual relationship. We’ll look at the patterns that slowly break down emotional safety, including criticism, defensiveness, dismissal, and shame, as well as what both partners can do to rebuild trust and connection. I’ll also help you recognize when you may be contributing to an emotionally unsafe environment and show you how curiosity, accountability, repair, and consistency can begin to change those...
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Episode 433 - Arousal Without an Agenda
Sex for Saints
Have you ever stopped yourself from feeling close to your spouse because you were worried about where it might lead? In this episode, I explore why arousal, or what the ancient Greeks called Eros, is about so much more than sex. I talk about how learning to experience desire without pressure or expectation can create deeper trust, stronger emotional connection, and a more vibrant marriage. If you've ever felt like affection automatically comes with an agenda, this episode will help you discover how allowing Eros to simply exist can transform both your relationship and your intimate connection....
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Episode 432 – The Natural Man Was Never About Your Sexuality
Sex for Saints
In this final episode of my five-part series, I challenge the idea that our sexuality is the "natural man" and offer a new framework for understanding what King Benjamin was really teaching in Mosiah 3:19. Together, we'll explore how ego, not desire, is often what keeps us disconnected from God and from our spouse, and how awareness, agency, and alignment can transform our relationships. If you've been following this series, this episode brings everything together into a hopeful path forward. If you're just joining us, I encourage you to go back and listen to the first four episodes to fully...
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Episode 431 - The Sin Next to Murder
Sex for Saints
What if one of the most familiar teachings about sexuality deserves a second look? In this episode, I take a careful look at Alma 39 and the teaching that sexual sin is "next to murder," exploring the historical origins of that interpretation, how it became so embedded in Latter-Day Saint culture, and why I believe the scripture may be saying something very different. I also discuss the lasting impact this belief has had on individuals and marriages, especially through shame and fear, and how a closer reading of the text can open the door to healing, healthier intimacy, and a more...
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Episode 430 - Sex, Worthiness, and the Rules You Inherited - What It Did to Him
Sex for Saints
What if the messages you received about sexuality shaped you more than you ever realized? In this third episode of my series, I explore how decades of cultural and religious teachings affected the way many men experience desire, shame, intimacy, and marriage. Through the stories of Bennett and Silas, I unpack how those messages can show up in very different ways and why healing begins by coming home to your own body instead of trying to earn your worth. I hope this episode gives you a deeper understanding of yourself and the path toward healthier, more connected intimacy. Listen to the...
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Episode 429 - Sex, Worthiness, and the Rules You Inherited - What It Did to Her
Sex for Saints
Have you ever wondered why intimacy can feel so difficult, even when you've done everything "right"? In this episode, I explore how the messages many women received growing up can quietly shape their relationship with their bodies, their desire, and their marriages long after the wedding day. Through the stories of Rosalie and Hazel, we look at how different experiences can lead to similar struggles and why those patterns aren't a sign that you're broken. If you're looking for thoughtful Christian intimacy coaching that blends faith, compassion, and practical understanding, this conversation...
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Episode 428 - Sex, Worthiness, and the Rules You Inherited - The Hundred-Year Story
Sex for Saints
What if the struggles you're experiencing in your marriage started long before you ever said "I do"? In this episode, I kick off a five-part series exploring the history, teachings, and cultural influences that shaped how many Latter-day Saints think about sexuality, desire, and worthiness today. We trace the roots of purity culture, gender roles, and sexual messaging over the last century and examine how those lessons continue to affect marriages, intimacy, and personal identity. Whether you're seeking healing, understanding, or support through christian intimacy coaching, this episode offers...
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Episode 427 – Why Your Spouse Gets Defensive When You're Just Trying to Help
Sex for Saints
What happens when “help” from your spouse starts to feel more like criticism? In this episode, I talk about why even well-intentioned advice can feel like an attack when it isn’t invited first, especially in conversations about sex and intimacy. I walk through how unsolicited feedback triggers defensiveness in our nervous systems, why both higher-desire and lower-desire spouses fall into this pattern, and how asking for consent before sharing can completely change the conversation. We’ll also talk about practical ways to create emotional safety, move from defensiveness to curiosity,...
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Episode 426 - When He Stops Initiating
Sex for Saints
How do you reconnect with your spouse after so much distance that you’re not even sure you want things to go back to the way they were? In this episode, I talk about what often happens when the higher desire partner stops initiating and why that silence can bring both relief and unexpected grief for women. I explore responsive desire, avoidance, emotional safety, and the complicated vulnerability of reaching back toward someone after months or years of disconnection. We also talk about what healthy initiation can actually look like, how to rebuild trust in small ways, and what to do if...
info_outlineIn this episode, I want to talk about something that may make you feel a little uncomfortable - mining for conflict. It is absolutely crucial for the health and intimacy of our relationships, but what is mining for conflict? It means actively seeking out and addressing underlying issues in a relationship. Finding these conflicts before they escalate into bigger issues and addressing the problems. Why rock the boat? Well, even if you’re ignoring them, the issues are still there. I’m going to give you real steps to take to not only find the conflicts, but to fix them as well.