Episode 434 - Emotional Safety: The Foundation Your Marriage and Sex Life Are Built On
Sex for Saints
What if the problem in your sex life isn’t really about sex at all? In this episode, I’m talking about emotional safety and the powerful role it plays in both your marriage and your sexual relationship. We’ll look at the patterns that slowly break down emotional safety, including criticism, defensiveness, dismissal, and shame, as well as what both partners can do to rebuild trust and connection. I’ll also help you recognize when you may be contributing to an emotionally unsafe environment and show you how curiosity, accountability, repair, and consistency can begin to change those...
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Episode 433 - Arousal Without an Agenda
Sex for Saints
Have you ever stopped yourself from feeling close to your spouse because you were worried about where it might lead? In this episode, I explore why arousal, or what the ancient Greeks called Eros, is about so much more than sex. I talk about how learning to experience desire without pressure or expectation can create deeper trust, stronger emotional connection, and a more vibrant marriage. If you've ever felt like affection automatically comes with an agenda, this episode will help you discover how allowing Eros to simply exist can transform both your relationship and your intimate connection....
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Episode 432 – The Natural Man Was Never About Your Sexuality
Sex for Saints
In this final episode of my five-part series, I challenge the idea that our sexuality is the "natural man" and offer a new framework for understanding what King Benjamin was really teaching in Mosiah 3:19. Together, we'll explore how ego, not desire, is often what keeps us disconnected from God and from our spouse, and how awareness, agency, and alignment can transform our relationships. If you've been following this series, this episode brings everything together into a hopeful path forward. If you're just joining us, I encourage you to go back and listen to the first four episodes to fully...
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Episode 431 - The Sin Next to Murder
Sex for Saints
What if one of the most familiar teachings about sexuality deserves a second look? In this episode, I take a careful look at Alma 39 and the teaching that sexual sin is "next to murder," exploring the historical origins of that interpretation, how it became so embedded in Latter-Day Saint culture, and why I believe the scripture may be saying something very different. I also discuss the lasting impact this belief has had on individuals and marriages, especially through shame and fear, and how a closer reading of the text can open the door to healing, healthier intimacy, and a more...
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Episode 430 - Sex, Worthiness, and the Rules You Inherited - What It Did to Him
Sex for Saints
What if the messages you received about sexuality shaped you more than you ever realized? In this third episode of my series, I explore how decades of cultural and religious teachings affected the way many men experience desire, shame, intimacy, and marriage. Through the stories of Bennett and Silas, I unpack how those messages can show up in very different ways and why healing begins by coming home to your own body instead of trying to earn your worth. I hope this episode gives you a deeper understanding of yourself and the path toward healthier, more connected intimacy. Listen to the...
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Episode 429 - Sex, Worthiness, and the Rules You Inherited - What It Did to Her
Sex for Saints
Have you ever wondered why intimacy can feel so difficult, even when you've done everything "right"? In this episode, I explore how the messages many women received growing up can quietly shape their relationship with their bodies, their desire, and their marriages long after the wedding day. Through the stories of Rosalie and Hazel, we look at how different experiences can lead to similar struggles and why those patterns aren't a sign that you're broken. If you're looking for thoughtful Christian intimacy coaching that blends faith, compassion, and practical understanding, this conversation...
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Episode 428 - Sex, Worthiness, and the Rules You Inherited - The Hundred-Year Story
Sex for Saints
What if the struggles you're experiencing in your marriage started long before you ever said "I do"? In this episode, I kick off a five-part series exploring the history, teachings, and cultural influences that shaped how many Latter-day Saints think about sexuality, desire, and worthiness today. We trace the roots of purity culture, gender roles, and sexual messaging over the last century and examine how those lessons continue to affect marriages, intimacy, and personal identity. Whether you're seeking healing, understanding, or support through christian intimacy coaching, this episode offers...
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Episode 427 – Why Your Spouse Gets Defensive When You're Just Trying to Help
Sex for Saints
What happens when “help” from your spouse starts to feel more like criticism? In this episode, I talk about why even well-intentioned advice can feel like an attack when it isn’t invited first, especially in conversations about sex and intimacy. I walk through how unsolicited feedback triggers defensiveness in our nervous systems, why both higher-desire and lower-desire spouses fall into this pattern, and how asking for consent before sharing can completely change the conversation. We’ll also talk about practical ways to create emotional safety, move from defensiveness to curiosity,...
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Episode 426 - When He Stops Initiating
Sex for Saints
How do you reconnect with your spouse after so much distance that you’re not even sure you want things to go back to the way they were? In this episode, I talk about what often happens when the higher desire partner stops initiating and why that silence can bring both relief and unexpected grief for women. I explore responsive desire, avoidance, emotional safety, and the complicated vulnerability of reaching back toward someone after months or years of disconnection. We also talk about what healthy initiation can actually look like, how to rebuild trust in small ways, and what to do if...
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Episode 425 - Learning to Initiate Again After Rejection
Sex for Saints
When the higher desire partner stops initiating after repeated rejection, it sets off a painful cycle that neither spouse knows how to break. In this episode, we walk through why he pulls back, what that silence creates on her side of the bed, and why both partners need to be initiating for a sex life that actually feels good. I explore the nervous system response behind initiation after a long silence, the role of polarity and emotional maturity in marriage, and what it really takes to move toward your spouse when fear tells you to stay hidden. Whether you're the one who has gone quiet or the...
info_outlineHave you ever had the experience where your spouse walks past you in the kitchen and doesn’t even acknowledge you? Or when it seems like they’d rather scroll on their phone than talk to you? In this episode, I break down what it really means to feel desired in marriage and why being wanted is different from being needed. I explain how desire shows up through thoughts, words, actions, and emotional presence, and how many couples misinterpret or block desire without realizing it. I also walk through common reasons desire fades, including exhaustion, resentment, fear of rejection, and misunderstandings about how desire works differently for men and women. Here is what I want you to hear: desire often grows through small, intentional actions rather than waiting to feel it first. With a practical invitation at the end, this episode is full of real ways to really desire your spouse and have them feel desired again. to shift connection and intimacy.