Andrew Petty is Dying
I met in 2018, when I served as executive coach for the leadership at the , the addiction treatment center here in Steamboat Springs, CO, where he served as Clinical Director. My respect and appreciation for Mike grew quickly in the course of that partnership, built especially upon Mike’s willingness to learn from anything and anyone–despite the long alphabet salad of credentials behind his name and his position of esteem in the addiction treatment, trauma, and family therapy community. Since then, our paths have continued to cross, and I’ve continued to benefit greatly from his...
info_outlineAndrew Petty is Dying
At the beginning of 2024, Chris Ray embarked on a new Adventure. We captured Chris' thoughts and expectations at the beginning of the Adventure in . This is the promised "after" episode, in which Chris and I explore how the Adventure impacted him. Chris' story showcases the power of the Big 6 to create big results in our lives. The Big 6 are essential ingredients in the recipe for a life we're outrageously proud of: Courage, Humility, Truth-telling, Self-permission, Self-responsibility, and Self-knowledge. Tune in to Ep. 095, , for a deep dive into the Big 6. I hope this episode...
info_outlineAndrew Petty is Dying
In this episode, I sit down with my pastor and friend, Chris Marsh, to dig into how a very recent and very close encounter with Mortality has impacted him and his family. Along the way, we explore: how to find solid ground in the face of crippling fear the necessity of appealing to the transcendent the gift of suffering As always, thank you for your time, trust, and attention. Remember, you ARE going to die. But you’re not dead yet. So get after it! Let’s Connect If this episode helped you, I'd love to know. Find me on , and , visit , or . Connect with Chris: ...
info_outlineAndrew Petty is Dying
In a hurry? Like me, you might do well to tap into some wisdom from the farm. On this episode, I offer a confession en route to extracting some wisdom from the farm that applies to all of us if we’re willing to hear it. I also offer what I suspect is a much-needed clarification of what I mean by “get after it”--the phrase with which I close my standard episode sign-off. If you’re often in a hurry and “get after it” only makes it worse, be sure to stay tuned in to the end of this episode. Remember: You ARE going to die. But you’re not dead yet. So get after it!...
info_outlineAndrew Petty is Dying
How can we stay positive and free from fear when the news is overwhelmingly bad and fear-based? I got this topic idea in the form of a question from a good friend and a former guest on this show, Frederic Tate. You can find him on Ep. 056 . Frederic’s a fascinating guy with a fascinating story. I thoroughly enjoyed that interview, and I wholeheartedly recommend that episode. Frederic's experience is that it is difficult to stay positive and free from fear when he perceives the news to be overwhelmingly bad and fear-based. Many of you can relate. It is a wild time to be alive on planet...
info_outlineAndrew Petty is Dying
What is bravery, and why is it so important? What are some of the common counterfeits of bravery? How can we detect and eliminate them from our own lives? How can we get braver? As an “arms dealer for the creative revolution," is the author of seven books and a veteran podcaster of 19 years who speaks internationally on creativity, productivity, and passion for work, and helps people and teams generate brilliant ideas. Todd's new book, The Brave Habit, is a concise, persuasive, and timely treatise on bravery. In today's conversation, we explore bravery through the lens of The...
info_outlineAndrew Petty is Dying
This episode is different in a few notable ways. First, it’s extemporaneous. Second, I recorded it to video for release on my fledgling YouTube channel, where all of my past episodes currently reside. Finally, I share news about the future of the podcast–an ending to make way for a new beginning. Key moments in this episode include: 00:00:01 - Embracing Change and New Beginnings 00:03:24 - Pursuing a Unified Framework 00:08:07 - Making Bold Choices 00:11:10 - Moving Forward with Conviction 00:13:48 - Seeking Audience Input Remember, you ARE going to die. But you’re not dead yet....
info_outlineAndrew Petty is Dying
Do you ever feel powerless against your hurts, hang-ups, and habits? Chris Ray's hurts, hang-ups, and habits literally killed him. Remarkably, his encounter with Mortality wasn't permanent, and Chris returned transformed. Chris is no longer powerless against his hurts, hang-ups, and habits because he has learned to look up and let go. If we have ears to hear, we can learn the same lessons from Chris’ story without a harrowing ordeal of our own. If we have the courage to add Action to our Insights, we can experience transformation, too. I met Chris through a mutual friend...
info_outlineAndrew Petty is Dying
Who are you? A big question, for sure, and not a slow pitch over the plate for most of us. But it’s a pitch that is critical for us to get good at hitting. As of this recording, I’m just a couple days removed from the first Growth Camp of 2024, where we plumbed the time-proven depths of the Hero’s Journey framework to go beyond resolutions and discover a heroic path to our best year yet. Once again, the importance of who we are–that is, the quality of our character and our responses in life’s defining moments–rose to the surface and stayed there, demanding our...
info_outlineAndrew Petty is Dying
Each new year presents the opportunity for a new adventure. Often we start out strong but fizzle in a month or two. Our fragile resolve sabotages even our most well-intended and heartfelt resolutions. We need something stronger than our own resolve and more reliable than our resolutions. As we kick off a new year, I invite you to go with me beyond resolutions to find a heroic path to your best year yet. In this episode, you will: Learn about the Hero’s Journey. Be equipped to embark on a transformative journey through the Hero's journey framework. Discover a path to...
info_outlineHoliday Reboot Intro
This episode is the second of two holiday reboots, specifically selected from the archive with the unique complexities of the holiday season in mind. I sliced and diced here and there and added a smidge, too, in an effort to make this episode as engaging and useful as possible.
This episode happens to be an all-time listener favorite. I picked it for a holiday reboot especially because of its emphasis on the priority of people, the magical mundane moments simply passing time with those we love, and–as a new year approaches–the importance of making the changes we know we need to make NOW.
One note before we jump in: My guest in this episode, Tony Gonzalez, mentions Rob Ryg several times. Rob is the coroner in our little corner of Colorado, and he was my guest on episode 018, Life’s 3 Big Questions: A Conversation with the Coroner. That episode was another listener favorite, and if you haven’t tuned in to that one yet, it’s well worth the listen.
Death on a Daily Basis
When harrowing encounters with Death are a routine part of your job, how does it change the way you live?
On today's episode, my friend Tony Gonzalez helps us answer that question based on his 25 years of service as a firefighter and put the lessons he's learned to work in OUR lives right now.
Meet Tony Gonzalez
At the peak of his career as a big city firefighter, in 2017 Tony traded in his badge, uniform, and hard-won seniority for a “mundane” life in the small mountain town where he grew up. After 25 years of almost daily encounters with trauma and Mortality in the line of duty, one particular encounter with Mortality finally convinced Tony that enough was enough. His peers and colleagues scratched their heads in disbelief when he made the decision. But he's never looked back.
Tony is a native of Steamboat Springs, and after 25 years in the city, in 2018 he moved back to Steamboat with his wife and two boys to begin writing a new chapter in their story. Since 2001, concurrent with his fire service career, Tony has been co-owner of Garage Composites--the nation's largest consulting firm to the powersports industry, and that is his primary professional focus today.
I met Tony through a mutual friend, and he soon became a member of one of the Graveyard Group masterminds I lead. In that setting, on a weekly basis, Tony and his fellow Graveyard Group members remember that they ARE going to die, but they're not dead yet--and they work on the things that matter most in their lives. Today. Because "tomorrow" never comes. And Death always does. We talk a bit about Tony's experience in the Graveyard Group in this episode--about how consciously keeping Mortality in mind with the confidential, compassionate, no BS support of 5 other guys helps him leave it all out on the field of life.
It's been a personal pleasure to get to know Tony over the past year, and it's a special pleasure to introduce you to him so you can integrate his life lessons and hard-won wisdom into your own life.
Highlights from the Conversation
- Tony compares the camaraderie he gained and treasured in the fire service with the camaraderie he’s gained as a member of a Graveyard Group mastermind. A trait that both the fire service and The Graveyard Group share is that each has a common, unifying purpose--in the fire service, to save lives, and in the The Graveyard Group, to leave it all out on the field of life. When there’s a shared, compelling purpose, there’s an opportunity for deep and meaningful camaraderie.
- Tony shares how repeated exposure to trauma and death in the line of duty changes you in ways that are both useful and harmful. We explore how our reaction to Death is both understandable on the one hand AND counter-productive on the other when we try too hard to avoid Death’s inevitability.
- Tony’s best friend in the fire service died tragically in the line of duty. The worst thing Tony saw in all his years of service was the look on his friend’s 13-year-old son’s face when he learned his dad had died. The worst thing Tony heard in his years of service was the same young man’s scream when he heard the news. Tony was somehow able to reconcile all of the other civilian and firefighter deaths he’d experienced. But he wasn’t able to reconcile his best friend’s death and the reaction of his son. Remarkably, Tony says that his friend’s death was even more painful than the recent death of his father and the loss of his first child at birth, a stillborn daughter. This was the tipping point that led Tony to take the off-ramp to a new life with his family.
- In his work with Garage Composites post-fire service, Tony went from anywhere between 40-50 weeks a year on the road to none in 2020 as a result of COVID. That forced change in this new chapter of his family’s story has led to a new commitment to dramatically reduce his time away from home once travel is once again
Some Key Takeaways
- Keep the date you set with friends to get together.
- Do the “mundane” stuff with the people you love.
- Show up with your ski gear on when you pick your kid up from ski school, and take a few laps with him or her. It’ll make their day.
- If you see an “off-ramp” to a different and better way of life, take it!
- When Death shows up in your life, be shocked, grieve like there’s no tomorrow, allow yourself to feel the pain and loss. Then, keep moving.
Tune In!
There’s a LOT more in this episode than these shownotes can hope to capture. Tony’s warmth and wisdom abound in this conversation.
Change is Simple
I have a simple formula for change: Insight + Action = Transformation. Which is not the same as to say that change is always easy. But the anatomy of change is, in fact, simple. And you can take the first steps toward the change you want in your life today.
What Insight emerged for you from this conversation with Tony? What's just one thing--no matter how small--you could do today to put that Insight into Action? Don't worry about all of the steps that might be necessary after the first one. Just be sure to take that first one today.
A thousand different reasons will pop up why taking that Action today is unreasonable or unnecessary, or why it might be better to think about it a bit more first or get others' opinions or do some more research. This is the voice of inertia, though, the voice of the status quo--whispering to you that it's not that big a deal to hold off on taking that step. That, in fact, it might even be prudent to let your Insight marinate a bit more first.
And that voice in this moment is the enemy of the life you know you were made to live. If you listen to it, It will keep you right where you are--stuck in whatever unsatisfactory state you find yourself.
Because it's less about the specific Action you decide to take than it is about your steadfast commitment to ACT. Your resolve to do what you can right now to move toward what you want.
Remember, you ARE going to die. But you’re not dead yet. So get after it!
Something NEW! Is it for you?
Tony shared a bit about the impact The Graveyard Group has had in his life. I’m excited to share that the first-ever women’s Graveyard Group is starting in January 2022. It’s also the first-ever virtual group, so it’s location-neutral, and my amazing colleague, Beth Romano, will lead it. In this setting, with your personal advisory board of 5 other women and Beth as your coach, you make time each week to invest in your life's most important work and eliminate deathbed regrets.
Go here to learn more, including how to join. You can also connect with me directly on Facebook, Instagram, or LinkedIn @AndrewPettyCoach, or email me.
Connect with Tony
Email | Website | Instagram | Facebook | LinkedIn
Follow Andrew Petty is Dying & Leave a Review
Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcasts | Stitcher
If You Liked This Episode, Check Out These, Too