loader from loading.io

Episode 219: Thanksgiving Grief

Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom

Release Date: 11/23/2023

Episode 241: Taylor's Gift Mom show art Episode 241: Taylor's Gift Mom

Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom

Tara's teen daughter, Taylor was the kind of friend who made others feel like they were the most special person in the room. When Taylor tragically died in 2010 in a skiing accident, Tara says that the easiest decision that the family had to make was when they were asked, 'Your daughter is a beautiful candidate for organ donation; would you consider it?' They knew their loving, caring daughter would never hesitate to help others so they did not hesitate either. Tara wanted her daughter to be a gift to others. The family knew that by making this decision, they would be able to give total...

info_outline
Episode 240: Josh's Mom show art Episode 240: Josh's Mom

Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom

I have a confession to make. This is a hard week for me. In three days, we will have to 'celebrate' Andy's 20th birthday. I have been thinking all week about what a 20-year-old Andy would be like. Would he have decided on a career path? Would he be dating a special girl? Would he still show some of his inner silliness? I'm sure that instead of me kissing the top of his head, he would be tall enough to kiss the top of mine. I'd like to think we would be headed out to visit him at college this weekend to make his birthday special. Of course, I will never know the answers to any of these...

info_outline
Episode 239: Randy's Dad show art Episode 239: Randy's Dad

Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom

What is a miracle? Many people have told today's guest, Freddie, that his son, Randy, was a living miracle. Few would have argued that point. Randy was diagnosed with cancer at 4 1/2 years of age. After conventional chemotherapy and radiation failed to treat his tumor, the family was told that Randy had 6 months to live. They turned to NIH studies, but none of those treatments ever made it out of the stage of clinical trials. His grandfather prayed over him and even instructed Freddie to rub a Bible up and down his spine. Randy was cured by these faith healings again and again. The boy who...

info_outline
Episode 238: Blake S's Mom show art Episode 238: Blake S's Mom

Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom

When Sandy first contacted me after her son, Blake's death, I never imagined that less than 2 years later she would be sharing his story on the podcast. When Sandy wrote to me, it was only 6 weeks since Blake had died. The pain was palpable throughout her email. Her very last sentence to me read, 'This is the MOST excruciating pain ever!!' She was filled with anger toward the doctors who failed to diagnose Blake quickly enough and see just how sick he was. Sandy says that she was in a very dark place for over a year. She posted on social media about Blake, finding others to share her pain. She...

info_outline
Episode 237: Corban's Mom show art Episode 237: Corban's Mom

Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom

Last July 4th weekend, I had the honor of going to a very sacred space with two bereaved moms, Dixie, and today's guest and dear friend, Michelle. We retraced the steps that Michele and her family took on that fateful day on July 4th, 2020 when Michelle lost her amazing 19-year-old son, Corban, who drowned in Lake Michigan. From the first steps walking along that trail, I knew that we were doing something very special. I could feel Corban, Parker, and Andy. I could feel God walking along beside us. In the first years after Andy died, whenever we dove past the accident site where Andy died, I...

info_outline
Episode 236: Grief & Feeling Out of Control show art Episode 236: Grief & Feeling Out of Control

Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom

Recently, Gwen and I have been starting to struggle to find new topics to discuss on our Livestream episodes. Eric suggested doing an episode about how bereaved people can feel like life is out of control, especially early in grief. After Andy died, I felt like our whole world was spinning out of control. Life was suddenly going really fast and I just wanted things to slow down. The world was no longer a safe place for my family, and everything suddenly felt so scary. As the podcast episode started this week, however, I asked Eric why he picked this topic. His answer completely surprised me....

info_outline
Episode 235: Jake's Mom show art Episode 235: Jake's Mom

Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom

We as grieving people often feel as if we are being judged by others. If I laugh or smile, will people think I am 'over' Andy's death? Will they think I don't care or think about him anymore? If people see me sad and crying, will they think that I should be doing better? Will they judge me and think that I should be able to keep my emotions in check? However, as much as we fear judgment from other people often we are the ones who are our biggest critics. We feel guilty if we laugh and smile. We feel shame when the tears come and emotions get out of control. When today's guest, Aleasha, talks...

info_outline
Episode 234: Chad's Mom show art Episode 234: Chad's Mom

Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom

When Susan's 19-year-old son, Chad, died in September 2020 during the pandemic, it was an extremely isolating time, but she and her family were also completely exposed. Chad was a healthy, young athlete who died from an extremely rare neurological disease called Weston-Hurst syndrome. This horrific disease is rapidly progressive and most often fatal as it attacks the central nervous system. Its specific cause remains unknown, but it is triggered by a viral infection. In this case, Chad contracted COVID while at college.   Now, this family was not only mourning the death of their beloved...

info_outline
Episode 233: Daniel's Mom show art Episode 233: Daniel's Mom

Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom

From the first minutes of listening to this week's podcast, you will feel an overwhelming sense of caring and compassion. While in middle school, Marisol's son, Daniel, went on a church trip to Niagra Falls and fell in love. Now, you might think that he fell in love with the beautiful waterfall, but it was the people who impacted Daniel. He saw that beyond tourism, there were people who were truly in need. Daniel felt a strong desire to help. While in high school, Daniel knew he wanted to leave his home state of Maryland and move to western New York to become a doctor. He found a program at...

info_outline
Episode 232: Luella's Mom show art Episode 232: Luella's Mom

Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom

Today's guest, Carrie, and her husband Ben attended their first retreat for bereaved parents only two months after their toddler, Luella, died from bacterial pneumonia. They drove 10 hours from their home in central Illinois to in northern Wisconsin. Carrie said that it was the first time they had felt seen and held since Luella had died. The support they received was amazing and on that 10-hour drive home, Carrie and Ben decided they wanted to make their own retreats locally for people in their community.   Their home was a large, beautiful cabin on 10 acres surrounded by trails and...

info_outline
 
More Episodes
‘What are you doing for Thanksgiving this year?’
 
This is a question that I have been asked dozens, if not a couple hundred times over the past month. They want to know if we are traveling. They want to know if we are hosting for Thanksgiving. They want to tell me their Thanksgiving plans. It is simply polite conversation during the month of November. 
 
What’s interesting for me is that no one in my life has thought to ask me, “How are you doing this Thanksgiving?” No one has asked how we might be honoring Andy. No one seems to have thought at all about the empty seat at our table and the fact that Thanksgiving might, in fact, still be a hard day for us, even five years after Andy’s death. 
 
Certainly, no one is trying to be insensitive at all. I just don’t think it dawns on them, but, the fact is, Thanksgiving is still hard when you are in the midst of grief. Looking at that empty chair today will bring moments of sadness. 
 
This week’s podcast is a discussion of what it feels like to gather and give thanks during grief. We asked for insights from listeners and we got them! We got true honest answers about feeling thankful and NOT feeling thankful. We got answers about what we might be dreading as well as who we are turning to in order to help us get through this day and others like it. 
 
So what is the answer to that unasked question? ‘How am I this Thanksgiving?’ The answer - I don’t know yet. Will I be 99% grateful and happy today or will I be 99% miserable? Probably the answer will lie somewhere in the middle. Honestly, the less the miserable aspect is acknowledged, the more miserable I am likely to be. 
 
So where does this leave us as we go through this Thanksgiving Day and the next month of the Christmas season? These are answers I know. 
1. Acknowledge that it can be hard, but enjoy the moments that bring joy whether 1% or 99%.
2. Acknowledge the empty seat at the table while trying to appreciate the chairs that are full.
3.Allow yourself to feel the whole spectrum of emotions, because only then can healing begin.