Beer Snake!!!
Another Wasted Hour
It turns out chlamydia is more widespread than we thought! DC makes the biggest beer snake Keith's ever seen, and we've found someone more behind the times than Internet Explorer! And count on Florida to find a body spray worse than Axe...
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What are you doing with that Zorro mask?!
Another Wasted Hour
Vodka just not cutting it anymore? This new version will fuck you up just the same, plus maybe add some eyes! Eight-year-olds are getting into edibles, and hippos run amok in Colombia! And if you can't find someone to dance, just ask a child in Utah. Apparently, they have to!
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Areola Virus
Another Wasted Hour
It seems it's never too late to chase your dreams of athletic stardom! There's a conspiracy at the FCC to miscount people, and someone has made an obscene amount of money on Hot Pockets! And sadly it seems one our most rock-steady, reliable bastions of the Internet can no longer be trusted...
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The difference between a baby and a pet
Another Wasted Hour
Brave Republicans do their best to save helpless women from buying too many feminine products! We now have scientific proof that your pets are cuter than your spouse, and discover a new sleep aid that's just as good as the rest, only sweatier!
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Volca? No!
Another Wasted Hour
Keith pops the lid on the most shocking conspiracy he's totally invented! It turns out W.W.J.D.M.M.A might be a thing, and the Chinese have yet another aphrodisiac I'm positive you're not interested in! And it turns out the impeachment trial is not the only controversy taking place in Congress this week...
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Always stop to pet the dog
Another Wasted Hour
We find the hero we need in these dark times! Keith pledges himself to the new "milk or water diet," and we find a court judge who's obviously never played Halo. And while this Scotsman may be a shit bank robber, at least we can say he'd also be shit in the KKK, and isn't that a win?
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Not in a row!
Another Wasted Hour
We realize that we really need to figure out the definition of "24 hours." Keith requests trial by combat, and we discover that I'm just as advanced as a Tesla. And it turns out that vultures are doing more about the border crisis than you are...
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365 Pairs of Socks
Another Wasted Hour
All aboard a rather unusual train to go rescue innocent people from...clothing bins? Ottawa gives a new meaning to the phrase "stacking bodies," and the Y2K bug was just biding its time all along! And did you know that you're already saving the planet using the Hollywood method?
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Cash cab slug line
Another Wasted Hour
We discover a healthy new way to grow our breasts! Tumbleweeds are making a sequel to the movie "Rubber," and Keith gets really excited about how it's now legal for him to snowball someone! And we start our countdown to the hot new Cabbage Patch Kids album dropping on Death Row...
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Drop a Bombshell and Chill
Another Wasted Hour
If you thought you were safe from 30-50 feral hogs, have we got news for you! Roombas are the new home intruders, and apparently the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles have gone rogue! And we discover a way to make money even more valuable! I wonder if it has to be worthless first...
info_outlineIt turns out the best new restaurant in your area might be your local highway! Keith decides to start a new life fighting alligators, and check with your local cops to see if they'll weigh your drugs for you! And we unleash a revolutionary new system for finding a place to sleep while on the road...
Mike Quindlen will be taking the stage Saturday, Nov 16th at Zissimos Bar in Baltimore, MD to raise money for Sharp Dressed Man. Follow Mike at: https://www.facebook.com/mike.quindlen