Episode 105 - Seeking External Validation Is a Tool of the Ego
Release Date: 02/28/2026
Episode 105 - Seeking External Validation Is a Tool of the Ego
Are You Being Present?
External validation feels good. But what happens when it runs out? This episode explores one of the ego's most powerful and pervasive traps: the endless pursuit of external validation. From the praise of parents and teachers in childhood to the approval of employers, spouses, and peers in adulthood, most of us have been deeply conditioned to measure our worth through the eyes of others. And the ego knows exactly how to exploit that. External validation can never be a sustainable source of confidence, because by its very nature, it isn't limitless. When the praise stops, the anxiety begins....
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Episode 104 - Identifying Ego Programs in the Present Moment
Are You Being Present?
Ego programs run like computer viruses in the background of your mind, silently sabotaging your present moment and creating self-inflicted suffering. Drawing from 15 years of clinical observation across 103 podcast episodes, this deep dive reveals what ego programs are, how to identify them in real time, and why they keep you trapped in patterns that have nothing to do with reality as it actually is. “I am sick.” “I’m not enough.” “I don’t have enough.” These aren’t truths - they’re programs installed during trauma and hardship that your ego weaponizes against you...
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Episode 103 - “I Am Sick” Is a Program of the Ego
Are You Being Present?
“I am sick” isn’t a statement of fact - it’s an ego program that makes you become the very illness you claim. This episode examines how the powerful declaration “I am” followed by “sick” creates ownership of disease rather than acknowledging temporary imbalance. Drawing from 15 years of clinical observation and personal experience, we explore how this pervasive ego tool keeps you trapped in fear, stress, and perpetual scanning for problems. Your mind obsesses over every ache, convincing you something is fundamentally wrong when you’re simply having a human experience in a...
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Episode 102 - Stop Catastrophizing, Be Present!
Are You Being Present?
What if most of your suffering is self-inflicted? Catastrophizing robs you of the present moment by spinning worst-case scenarios that never materialize. Your mind creates entire disasters from nothing, projecting distorted memories onto an imagined future while reality unfolds peacefully right in front of you. This episode cuts through the madness. Drawing from thousands of clinical observations and hard-won personal insight, we expose catastrophizing as a relentless ego program designed solely to eject you from presence. You’ve done this countless times, yet how often has the catastrophe...
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Episode 101 - Embracing Change in the Present Moment
Are You Being Present?
Change is inevitable, but our resistance to it creates suffering. In this episode, we explore why we struggle with change, how safety and comfort keep us trapped in familiar patterns, and what it means to embrace change with presence instead of fear. Drawing from personal experiences with injury, observations from clinic work with aging patients and career transitions, and practical presence tools, this conversation offers a path toward seeing change not as something happening TO you, but FOR you. Whether you’re navigating a career shift, physical limitations, or unexpected life transitions,...
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Episode 100 -Experiencing the Life Reset Button With Presence
Are You Being Present?
What happens when everything you’ve built disappears overnight? This episode explores the profound experience of having your life reset button pushed - when natural disasters, loss, business failure, or sudden upheaval rips the floor out from under you. Speaking from direct experience of total loss and what I call “super survival mode,” we examine how presence becomes both the most important and most difficult practice during extreme crisis. This isn’t spiritual bypassing or toxic positivity... it’s an honest look at grief, resistance, endurance, and the slow work of accepting what...
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Episode 99 - “If, That, Then” Is a Game of the Ego
Are You Being Present?
The Presence Projects presents episode 99 of the "Are You Being Present?" podcast series. Join Paul for a podcast that focuses on a game/program the ego plays in a variety of different scenarios that creates a significant amount self-inflicted suffering. The title and topic of this episode is “If, That, Then Is a Game of the Ego". In this podcast Paul shares his personal, and clinical, experiences where he has observed, identified and exposed an ego program that is woven deeply within the constructs of the matrix being proliferated by societal conditioning that prevents...
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Episode 98 - Obligation Is a Tool of the Ego
Are You Being Present?
The Presence Projects presents episode 98 of the "Are You Being Present?" podcast series. Join Paul for a podcast that addresses obligation, what it is, how it’s used, the effect it has on the Present Moment and how we can reframe it. The title and topic of this episode is “Obligation Is a Tool of the Ego". In this podcast Paul dives into a subject that has created a lot of self-inflicted suffering at the hands of the ego. Everyone on Earth goes through life with a certain number of obligations which is why this podcast is so relevant and relatable. Being obligated...
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Episode 97 - Ok This Is Happening, What Do I Want to Do About It in This Present Moment?
Are You Being Present?
The Presence Projects presents episode 97 of the "Are You Being Present?" podcast series. Join Paul for a podcast that introduces a statement, an affirmation and a powerful Presence Tool that can help to alleviate resistance, resentment, frustration and self-inflicted suffering. The title and topic of this episode is “Ok This Is Happening, What Do I Want to Do About It in This Present Moment?". In this podcast Paul discusses the need to greet each Present Moment with acceptance, open arms, clarity and neutrality. He shares with the audience a statement/greeting that can...
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Episode 96 - Stop Comparing Yourself, Be Present!
Are You Being Present?
The Presence Projects presents episode 96 of the "Are You Being Present?" podcast series. Join Paul for a podcast on comparison, how it is a major Presence obstruction and tool of the ego that has been used to create an immense amount of self-inflicted suffering. The title and topic of this episode is “Stop Comparing Yourself, Be Present!". In this podcast Paul focuses on what comparison in, how it’s been used as a negative motivator, the effect it has on the Present moment and the need to observe it with objectivity as your ego (or other people’s egos) use it against you....
info_outlineExternal validation feels good. But what happens when it runs out?
This episode explores one of the ego's most powerful and pervasive traps: the endless pursuit of external validation. From the praise of parents and teachers in childhood to the approval of employers, spouses, and peers in adulthood, most of us have been deeply conditioned to measure our worth through the eyes of others. And the ego knows exactly how to exploit that.
External validation can never be a sustainable source of confidence, because by its very nature, it isn't limitless. When the praise stops, the anxiety begins. When the confirmation disappears, the ego moves in with doubt, fear, and internal chaos.
This episode takes an honest look at how this ego program shows up in everyday life, from professional settings and personal relationships to the extreme highs and lows of fame. It also examines why even well-intentioned advice-seeking can become a subtle form of outsourcing your own agency.
The antidote? Internal validation, the practice of affirming, assuring, and praising yourself from within, especially when the ego is loudest.
In this episode you'll explore:
- Why the ego creates doubt to manufacture a need for external approval
- How the "vacuum effect" of external validation fuels anxiety and depression
- What internal validation actually looks and feels like in practice
- How to endure difficult present moments with objectivity and grace
- Why self-affirmation has a lasting power that external praise never will
You already know more than you think you do. This episode is an invitation to trust it.
Remember, you have a choice. Choose to be Present!