58-Keelin Winters Pattillo, on dealing with pressure, overcoming burnout, and living in a campervan while playing pro soccer
Release Date: 04/08/2020
pep talk be you do you f**k others
Kendall.
In this ep, I share an emotional voice message from when I knew I had to leave pro soccer and focus on my healing. I honestly didn’t realize how much I was hating soccer at the time, until my concerning brain scan forced me to step away. I packed up from Utah, and as soon as I landed in Portland, I embarked on a camping road trip with my friends Paige and Keelin (who have both been on the pod, and ) to Lake Tahoe. I was asked to be a crew member for Paige who was running in the Western States, one of the most highly coveted 100-mile races in the world (that only psycho...
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what is a "plog"? and the sus brain scan that spurred my awakening
Kendall.
Today’s plog is a journeyyyy. I start off sitting in a chair, looking up in the stars, sharing where I’m at in life and what exactly is a “plog.” I then tell the story of when I was playing pro soccer, dealing with severe concussion symptoms, and participated in an intensive stay at a concussion clinic. At the end of the clinic, I meet with the doctor who revealed to me some results on my brain scan that completely changed my life as I knew it. I inserted the actual conversation w/ this doc, as well as other raw audio messages. Heads up, I cry. This is saying a lot,...
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80-Sydney Miramontez, on her eating disorder story and why birth control sucks
Kendall.
In today’s episode I interview brave human being and pro soccer player Sydney Miramontez. Sydney and I met playing for the Utah Royals together. Before a few weeks ago we had no idea that, at the time, we were both secretly struggling with our own eating disorders. In our conversation, Sydney opens up about her unhealthy relationship to food and exercise. She shares how it all started and tools that helped her to work through it. I personally am most fascinated by the role that birth control played in her journey and how it wreaked havoc on her body. She dives into how her...
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79-I hated my body, but now I love my body and it weirds me out
Kendall.
I hated my body, but now I love it and it weirds me out Today’s episode is a follow-up of my last one on how I healed my “disordered eating.” In particular, I dive deep into my tumultuous relationship to my body. From bed-ridden concussion symptoms, to digestive issues, disordered eating, to hating what stared back at me in the mirror… my relationship to my body has been through the ringer. For so long, I viewed my body as the thing that was holding me back from doing the things I wanted to do in my life. I felt like a caged animal. A hermit crab, superglued to its...
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78-how I healed my "eating disorder"
Kendall.
In today's episode, I go in depth about how about how I healed my "eating disorder'. I share how it all started, the shame I felt for binging in secret , resources that helped, and the book that changed my life and got me to the other side. Read the written article One on one mentoring
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77-a day in the life of my eating disorder
Kendall.
I have something on my heart that I’ve wanted to share about for years, but it felt too shameful to reveal while I was going through it. I had binge eating disorder. “Binge eating disorder” feels like three measly words that don’t encapsulate the hell my body went through during this experience. For 7 years, food consumed my life. What started with the pure intention to heal digestion issues, quickly and also slowly spiraled into being about so much more. Eating was about my livelihood. I held this belief that if ate perfectly, then I would heal my...
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76- Jessica Shannon, the energy healer who changed my life
Kendall.
Today on the podcast, I am so honored to have on one of the most influential people in my life, energy healer and masseuse, Jessica Shannon. I got introduced to Jessica when I was playing in Utah. A teammate’s friend swore by her. At this point, I didn’t know much about energy work, but I was willing to try anything to heal my concussion and get back to playing soccer. In my first session, I was mind blown. Jessica was able to tell me things about myself that there’s no way she would have known without having some sort of gift. I was astounded by her skills. This began my...
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75- Why My Hard work Wasn't Paying Off
Kendall.
I recently saw a tweet from a father of an 8 year old daughter who just found out she didn’t make her softball team. The first thing she said to her dad after she found out the news: “Alright dad grab your glove, it’s time to work even harder.” This tweet received thousands of retweets. It rubbed me the wrong way. Why? Because working harder nearly destroyed me. Working harder is wildly celebrated in our society and, as a kid, I wanted more than anything to be celebrated. Working harder was a coping mechanism for me because I...
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74-Caleb Campbell, on dealing with shame, vulnerability, and “holy frustrations”
Kendall.
In today’s episode I interview U.S. Army lieutenant, former NFL linebacker, and motivational speaker Caleb Campbell. I stumbled upon Caleb on instagram and was captivated by his words. Caleb, a lifelong athlete, writes a lot about vulnerability, shame letting go, and finding where you belong in the world. Caleb attended the United States Military Academy Preparatory School, and went on to play at West Point. After an impressive senior season, he was drafted by the Detroit Lions. However, the day he was supposed to sign, a government policy was revoked and he had to...
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73- Diane Ulscini, on healing sports traumas
Kendall.
In today’s episode, I interview one of the people who helped me out the most during one of the lowest points in my life: my therapist, Diane Ulicsni. When I had my first session with Diane, I had just stepped away from soccer and was in the depths of depression, and a foreign debilitating “stuckness.” Working with her gave me immense insight into why my body felt like it was shutting down. Time and time again, Diane has guided me through processing trauma associated with sports and other areas of my life. I have experienced massive levels of healing because of her. Diane uses a...
info_outlineIn this episode, I interview firefighter, former professional soccer player, and farmer Keelin Winters Pattillo.
Keelin is a force of nature. It appears as though everything she touches turns into a success. I believe Keelin accomplishes whatever she puts her mind to because she’s one the most disciplined people I know.
Keelin grew up living in a multitude of cities around the US, as her father was a NBA coach and was constantly on the move. Although her 5 siblings chose to dedicate themselves to basketball, the sport wasn’t physical enough for Keelin. So, she chose to play soccer.
Keelin went on to play at University of Portland, earning West Coast Conference Player of the Year. She won a goal medal in the U-20 World Cup. She was drafted 6th overall in the WPS to the Boston Breakers. She’s played overseas with FFC Turbine Potsdam in Germany and the Western Sydney Wanderers in Australia. She played four years with Seattle Reign FC, winning two NWSL Shields, for finishing 1st in regular season play. She also earned a contract with full US national team.
On most of those teams, she wore the captains armband, a testament to Keelin’s supreme focus and leadership skills.
In this episode we talk about,
-why she chose to spend her honeymoon with her wife Paige living in a camper van while playing in Australia
-what it was like having five siblings, a disciplinarian mom, and an NBA-coaching dad
-how she’s in even better shape than when she was playing professionally because of living on a farm
-her decision to get dreadlocks in college and how they helped her find herself
-the make-you or break-you pressure of US national team camp
-why she retired even though she was in her prime
-the advise her sports psychologist gave her that helped immensely when she was feeling burnt out
And more!
Resources
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