Libsyn Directory

I feel Powerless

Release Date: 07/02/2024

A Thousand Tiny Steps

The current school board is beginning to feel like… Regina Georgia’s lunch table. It reminds me of previous years on the board, my relationship with Chris Rath, all the emails on my school account, and so many other mistakes I made. One thing's for sure: I need to learn to notice the change in the weather unless I want to sit with more regrets soon. Key Takeaways: [1:34] Wanting to keep things the same and not noticing a change in the weather [3:07] Not becoming president of the school board [5:54] The board is twisting my realities into something it’s...

If I Interviewed Myself...

A Thousand Tiny Steps

If a clone of me was suddenly created and I interviewed myself here’s what I’d say. Because trust me, I did not want to do another episode where I talk about the sadness of grieving during the holidays. So instead, enjoy as I talk about everything from what I’d tell myself at 18 to the name of my book - if my enemy wrote it. Key Takeaways: [4:23] What people misunderstand about me most [5:30] My biggest failure and what I learned [7:17] What I want to be remembered for [7:53] My favorite holiday movie [9:29] The advice I’d give to my 18 year old self...

My Anger Consumes Me

A Thousand Tiny Steps

After my job loss, I was invited to do an interview which became the most popular one on our local radio show. A few days ago was the 40th year anniversary of a school shooting in Concord and I talked to one of the students who went through it. In this episode, I go on a trip down memory lane. Key Takeaways: [1:25] I don’t feel like I’ve made a lot of progress [2:12] 40 years ago there was a school shooting in Concord [5:40] The overwhelming grief of the mother [6:34] I talked to one of the students that went through it [8:02] Why is my...

Would You Rather...

A Thousand Tiny Steps

This week, I’m throwing away toxic gratitude and playing Would You Rather because we all need some fun in our lives. I contemplate knowing when vs knowing how I would die, someone seeing all of my photos or all of my texts, and so many other ponderings. Key Takeaways: [0:28] Throwing away toxic gratitude and playing would you rather [3:17] See a little into the future or a lot? [3:53] The ability to read minds or move things? [4:25] Sing or dance to every song you hear? [4:45] Jail or coma for 5 years? [5:15] Chronically under or...

What is Emergence?

A Thousand Tiny Steps

Emerging and changing my ways one tiny step at a time is not easy. Between school board, my living situation, my neighbor dying and my desire to keep things the same, but also change can feel like climbing an uphill battle. Key Takeaways: [0:28] We’re supposed to be grateful in November, but I don’t want to be [2:35] What emergence means in my life [7:37] Feeling ignored and not liked on school board [11:24] My desire to change, but keep things the same [18:15] Having no time alone at home, but having to share [21:42] Thinking about...

My Nightmare Coaching Job

A Thousand Tiny Steps

I was fired from my coaching job, dealt with an inappropriate dad, an emotionally unstable teenager, and people that shot me nasty looks. All while having an unsupportive administrative staff that didn’t have my back. This is the story of the ups and downs of my coaching job at Bow. Key Takeaways: [3:21] Being hired at Bow High School as a coach [5:55] The new athletic director hated me [9:42] Our first meeting he chastised me for talking about Molly too much [10:53] Transportation and me having the kids in my personal car became a problem [12:19] Where the...

Re-Air: Ep. 113 - The Power of Friendship

A Thousand Tiny Steps

I looked back on the two friends I’ve lost since I recorded this episode and the ones I’ve kept. In this episode, I thought about the people I surrounded myself with, what that meant, and the wonderful support I receive. It’s interesting to look back and see the toxic people I spent time with and how much my life has changed since then. Key Takeaways: [0:00] Getting sucked into a cycle of mistreatment [4:15] Fight, flight, fawn, and freeze [7:02] Susan is someone who brings me so much joy [9:40] Roberta learns so much about me through my...

Lions, Tigers, and Another Restraining Order… Oh My!

A Thousand Tiny Steps

I’ve lost count of how many restraining orders have been in my life from either me having to file them, helping others file them, or having them filed against me. At some point it just feels like a circus and an abuse of the system. In this episode, I break down the history of them in my life and question if they really help people. Key Takeaways: [0:00] Does a restraining order actually do anything? [1:57] My restraining order against Science Guy [4:16] Helping Amy get a restraining order and then filing for one against her [12:32] Losing my job and...

Science Guy Died

A Thousand Tiny Steps

Science Guy was my high school biology teacher who I lost my virginity to. He died a couple of months ago and I only found out a few weeks ago. I’m grieving for him and many people have an opinion on that. But two things can be true: I can realize the good moments we had together and also realize it was inappropriate. Key Takeaways: [0:00] Being sexually abused as a child and being told to be quiet [4:20] Science guy died a few months ago, reeling in the good and bad [11:35] Feeling wanted by an older man and joining track to spend time with him [16:29]...

Re-Air: Ep. 64 - My Childhood Sexual Abuse

A Thousand Tiny Steps

I was sexually abused as a child and it still impacts me at almost 60 years old. It took me a long time to be able to tell this story and to look back at the psychological impact that these terrible experiences had on me. It was a confusing time where I lost so much of myself, but telling this story has been cathartic. If you need help there are resources below. Key Takeaways: [2:45] My mom was a stay at home mother and my dad worked a lot [4:20] First instance of sexual abuse [6:46] It happening again and feeling terrible for not saying...

More Episodes

To kick off the theme of season 9, I’m talking about Alcoholics Anonymous and my struggle with addiction. I discuss what AA is like, what I learned, how I feel powerless, and how I’m trying to improve my life.

Key Takeaways:

[4:56] Still struggling to get where I want to go

[7:52] My time in AA and the most significant thing I learned

[11:36] My moment of feeling powerless

[12:23] Step one of AA

[13:52] The poem that spoke to me about powerlessness

[17:35] Having to be honest in AA

[20:26] The ego is selfish, but is it sin?

[29:41] I’ve felt powerless through my abuse and being a woman

[38:00] I’ve never felt like God was absent in my life

[44:07] I’m doing things, but I need to get more comfortable asking for help

[47:04] I try to control things in my life which can cause trouble