A Thousand Tiny Steps
This podcast is for people who want to experience personal growth. Finding joy in tragic moments is a difficult task, but by listening to the stories of an ordinary woman who goes through extraordinary experiences, you can learn how to get through anything. Hear stories from Barb Higgins, the woman who had a baby at 57, lost her daughter to a brain tumor, dealt with addiction, and so much more. Inside each episode, Barb shares a story from her life and how she got through each tough experience. From lessons learned to how she took her self-care to another level, Barb pulls you into her world of inspiring circumstances and leaves you wondering, how does she do it?
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Finding a New Life with Emily
03/11/2025
Finding a New Life with Emily
I got to talk with Emily, a former runner of mine who was a highliner, dealt with Lyme Disease, chatted about how the cycle of trauma can continue, and the life that she’s living now. A nomadic one with more freedom to run her own business and take of her own life. Key Takeaways: [2:33] How Emily got into highlining [12:09] Dealing with Lyme disease [20:37] Splitting up from her husband [25:11] Generational trauma [35:23] Getting an RV, living a nomadic lifestyle, and a jewelry business Resources: Connect with Barb:
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The Season of Guests
03/04/2025
The Season of Guests
In this episode, I talk about my season of guests, how the podcast has changed, and debating what will happen in the future with the podcast. I have some amazing guests lined up who are all in some way connected to me. Key Takeaways: [3:28] My first season was about Jack and the second was about Molly [4:21] My third season about trauma and the fourth season was about being a mom [6:17] Season 5 and 6 in high school and the next were about chaos [9:43] Sharing the journey of 3 amazing women who have gone through trauma [15:00] Talking to the dance kids connected to Molly [16:34] Having a few episodes with my Boston University trackmates [23:13] Getting anxious about not progressing and thinking about next steps Connect with Barb:
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Dead Molly Money
02/25/2025
Dead Molly Money
Filing a lawsuit came with its trials and tribulations, but it also came with a check: dead Molly money. It has taken me so much time to process Molly’s death and put together a foundation. I have finally decided it’s time to really make the foundation into something, instead of just giving money away because doing so will help the true spirit of Molly. Key Takeaways: [1:45] Having to be quiet from the pain of settling lawsuits [7:40] The Dead Molly Money blog post [12:27] The amount of money I’ve given away and what the event will be like [15:01] The Spirit of MollyB Award and what it means [18:05] It’s become easier with me to deal with the money in a way that really helps [22:01] Come to the event! Resources: Connect with Barb:
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Period Stigma in Schools with Jenn
02/18/2025
Period Stigma in Schools with Jenn
This week, I sat down with my friend Jenn, a teacher who has helped create a thrift store and a period program for students. The Red Dot Program helps people have access to all types of period products and clothing without having to go to the nurse or make a big announcement. Key Takeaways: [2:56] What the Red Dot Program is and Jenn’s first period [7:22] Periods are not taken as seriously as other health issues [8:54] What products are in the lockers as well as clothing [13:06] The pushback the program has experienced and giving education [21:05] Jenn’s support and struggles with a period at a young age [25:26] Period underwear is too expensive [27:23] Homeless students dealing with their period [29:00] How to give items and donate [32:27] How the programs been perceived Resources: Connect with Barb:
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Lies about Anger
02/11/2025
Lies about Anger
I’m just angry. I don’t know if I’ll ever stop feeling angry when it comes to certain trauma, but I’m learning new ways to mitigate it. In this episode, I dig into what people think anger is, how I’m mad at myself, and why it’s okay to be angry, but what really matters is how you express it. Key Takeaways: [2:07] I make plans, they don’t go my way, I know they won’t, and then I get angry [5:34] I’m mad at myself and the universe and people think grief is inappropriate [16:50] Anger is a natural emotion, it’s sinful, an exaggeration of events [19:14] Fear, powerlessness, and self protection are under the surface of anger [20:43] The danger of not releasing your anger and Molly’s emotions [24:55] Men are quick to blame others for anger and how you view anger [30:02] How Jack views my anger, generational trauma, and how anger is expressed [39:23] Mad at myself for not achieving my goals, types of stress, and looping behavior [45:58] Social media is making people angry [52:27] Is it okay to be angry? Simplifying your life [57:19] Self blame, mindfulness, and clutching on tightly [1:01:18] Learning from my anger Resources: Connect with Barb:
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Period Poverty Exists Globally
02/04/2025
Period Poverty Exists Globally
Period poverty and the stigma surrounding getting products, learning how to use them, and having them on you is an uphill battle. People miss school, sports events, and other important life activities all because they might not be able to afford period products or are too ashamed to ask for free ones. Key Takeaways: [2:07] The pop culture movies that shaped how many women feel about periods [9:54] Social stigma around not knowing how to use products or having a period [14:43] The marathon runner that bled while winning [16:23] Not having access to quality products, missing school, and the reality of prisons [22:23] India and Kenya’s unique culture problems surrounding periods and solutions [31:13] Decreased sports participation and taking pain seriously [35:03] Experience teaching health, having boys take ownership, and my past athletes [42:55] Women with the worst outcomes medically and a transmans experience [47:59] Free period products in schools and how women are seen as gross [53:20] People shouldn’t be embarrassed to talk about their periods Resources: Connect with Barb:
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The Stigma. Period.
01/28/2025
The Stigma. Period.
When you hear the word period, what word comes to mind? Probably not something happy or optimistic. It’s most likely something rooted in misogyny or self-hatred. There is still so much stigma surrounding periods today and how they are seen as something gross. They are seen as something to be hidden. Key Takeaways: [5:49] Starting my period and how people feel about them when they hear the word [9:15] Being shamed for my period and my worst experiences [16:40] Period pain is dismissed and how it’s celebrated but also minimized [19:20] How periods are seen in different cultures [23:55] How a Disney movie talked about periods, the taboos, and culture clashes [28:19] The issue with gender neutral bathrooms and getting time off for your period [29:49] Teaching health, consent, bleeding everywhere, and mixed emotions [35:58] Future episodes on periods Resources: Connect with Barb:
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You Don’t Need the Pill - Lies on Birth Control
01/21/2025
You Don’t Need the Pill - Lies on Birth Control
Birth control is big business and they will do anything to make a profit, even if it means putting people’s lives at risk. I looked into the historical and political aspects of the pill as well as the most dangerous ones. In the episode, I reveal the lies told to women about birth control and how it should all fall on us. Key Takeaways: [2:01] My period and experience with birth control [9:57] How the short term pill was involved in politics [11:38] Margaret Sanger was considered a hero - until she was not [12:30] Blood clots on the pill, deaths, and men don’t want to be involved [16:20] The benefits of tracking your period [17:57] The pill can mask the true symptoms [22:49] The NuvaRing, the Yaz, IUDs, and fighting with Congress [25:54] Racism in medicine and the forcing of birth control [28:36] Pregnancy is safer than the pill [29:30] Doctors don’t communicate and the need for more education [34:18] The pill is not medically necessary in any case and AIDS is worse than a baby [35:20] The responsibility can’t just continue to fall to women Resources: Connect with Barb:
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My Month in Bali
01/14/2025
My Month in Bali
I went to Bali for a month and it was the most unexpected experience. I saw the juxtaposition of wealth and poverty as well as pollution. But I also saw a culture of respect, beauty, and it opened up conversations in ways I could never talk about here. It helped me finalize my plans for the new year. Key Takeaways: [2:22] Expats in Bali [3:52] Seeing poverty next to wealth [7:05] Doing Boundless Life, the good and the bad [10:09] Indonesian history, culture of gratitude, and religion [13:51] Respecting others choices [16:48] Bali is so polluted, limited drinking water, and traffic [19:47] The ocean, the gentrification, and seeing Jack experience it [22:20] Getting terribly sick, Balinese coffee, and the culture of family in Bali [27:12] Politics, open conversations, stereotypes, and the day of silence [29:40] My thoughts on Bali [30:51] Thoughts for the new year Connect with Barb:
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The History of IVF
01/07/2025
The History of IVF
I watched a movie that went through how IVF was invented and it made me reflect on my IVF journey as well. But just because the science in the movie was real, does not mean anything else was. All the relationships, drama, and other mini storylines were made up to make - a good story. Key Takeaways: [2:15] My IVF journey [7:50] Often in religion women are seen as less than if they can’t have kids naturally [9:07] Stress does not cause infertility or cause cancer [9:51] IVF increases your risk of having multiples [11:53] Joy, the movie about the birth of IVF [14:29] The movie is mainly about Jean, religion, and her relationships [17:24] 1969, the first extraction attempt and people saying it as horrifying [19:06] Jean’s thoughts on abortion - were they true? [21:28] They kept trying, but had ectopic pregnancies, Jean’s mom died, and she leaves [24:28] They came back together to finish the science [30:10] Even after the success, they had to fight to get Jean’s name on the plaque [32:03] All the relationship stuff in the movie was fake Resources: Connect with Barb:
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How Movies Lie
12/31/2024
How Movies Lie
Wow, the amount of movies that take someone’s life and completely misrepresent it? Too many to count. It hurts the lives of the people who the movie was made about, but also anyone that is like them. Because if they believe the story, they get false ideas in their head. Key Takeaways: [3:05] The Pocahontas movie was a downright lie [7:13] The I, Tonya movie was exaggerated [11:33] A Beautiful Mind left out abuse and misportrayed mental illness [12:58] Erin Brockovich was oversexualized [14:47] None of the characters actually existed in Newsies [16:04] Amadeus painted Mozart as a crazy man [18:33] Sully was a real event, but it was overdramatized to get viewers [20:45] The Greatest Showman - not so great himself, more like abusive [23:32] Remember the Titans is not how desegregation went down at all [26:58] The movie, Rudy, misrepresented the actual person [28:39] The Blind side made Michael look dumb, when he really just needed some help [31:53] Homeless to Harvard - spoiler alert she didn’t graduate from Harvard [35:36] How we choose to tell a story and what we believe Resources: Connect with Barb:
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Ridiculous Lies About Christmas
12/24/2024
Ridiculous Lies About Christmas
As Christmas is upon us, I decided to dig up some lies on it, along with some of my childhood memories and how Christmas has differed for my kids. The biggest lie of all? When Jesus’s birthday occurs and what actually went down. I suppose it shall just remain another mystery. Happy Holidays. Key Takeaways: [3:05] My best Christmas time memory as a child [6:32] Finding out Santa wasn’t real and Christmas magic [8:19] December 25th is not Jesus’s birthday [14:50] The tallest tree, candy canes, the movies, and Black Friday [17:24] Trees take 15 years to grow, Rudolph, and Christmas was illegal [19:48] Miracle on 34th Street, lit candles in the tree, and Christmas is not romantic [22:18] Injuries, ugly sweater parties, the Grinch, and Santa Claus school [25:10] What Xmas stands for, eggnog, singing, and mistletoe [28:19] The story of Jesus’s birth is not accurate Resources: Connect with Barb:
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Overconsumption of America
12/17/2024
Overconsumption of America
I watched a movie on how Americans shop and consume, consume, consume. It was terrifying. It was even worse to see the devastating impacts it had on other countries and how quickly people will buy something new if it stops working. Key Takeaways: [4:57] How online shopping changed things [6:40] Just one click has made it easy to buy more things [8:34] Sell more by making an emotional connection [13:15] People buy too many things and it has to go somewhere [15:21] Making products not last long on purpose [23:56] Recycling is a lie and other countries are suffering from it [28:27] These companies hide the terrible things they’re doing [32:04] Big companies keep trying to control people [35:06] Clickbait and how the movie made this point [38:11] What you can do to buy less Resources: Connect with Barb:
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Lies About Fitness
12/10/2024
Lies About Fitness
The fitness and health industry thrives on lies upon lies. From saying that you’ll lose 30 pounds in 30 days to saying that weightlifting is dangerous as a woman. So many of these ideas shaped the younger me and I want women to know the truth about what they can do to live a fit life. Key Takeaways: [4:57] Strength training makes you bulky [6:40] Cardio training burns fat and you have to sweat [7:30] Working out everyday is the only way [11:35] Your health is defined by your weight [12:32] Exercise is hard and never fun [14:20] 30 day fitness challenges will change your life [15:51] Fat and carbs are bad [18:45] Calories in, calories out mindset, eating less doesn't mean you lose weight [20:07] Sweat equals a good workout and more fat burned [20:48] Clickbait, take this supplement, and lose 30 pounds in 30 days [22:11] Targeted fat loss is possible [23:40] Taking supplements and diet pills will make everything better [25:00] Intermittent fasting will make a huge difference [25:42] Packaged healthy foods are better for you [27:02] Women should not train like men [29:51] Low intensity cardio won’t help you lose fat [30:39] You should stretch before you work out [31:45] Treadmills are better for your knees and muscle turns into fat [32:59] The lies that are hard not to believe [35:47] Weightlifting is bad for older people especially for women [37:49] Deep squats are bad for you [39:34] Weights and cardio should never be done on the same day [40:42] Spot training will help you and so will detoxes [42:45] There’s no one way to workout [43:52] High intensity training is the best for fat loss [45:27] CrossFit is all about competition [46:49] CrossFit isn’t good for older people [49:07] Trying new things is what CrossFit is all about [48:58] What do you think is true in fitness? Resources: Connect with Barb:
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Lies About Grief
12/03/2024
Lies About Grief
As I go into the holidays and my 9th year grieving, here are some lies surrounding grief that I never stop hearing. Some of them just piss me off and some of them I understand better as I’m farther along. Either way, the important part is that you can grieve how you want to, it’s not going to be linear, and take your time. Key Takeaways: [3:08] Grief can be temporary or forever [5:21] Christmas plans [8:08] Time does not heal all wounds [10:35] I’m never going to be over it [11:42] I’m not going to stop talking about Molly [13:42] Being told I could have prevented her death [15:30] Ignoring grief doesn’t make it go away [18:30] Just because you grieve doesn’t make you a whiner [22:18] God, death, and prayers [24:21] Grief is not liner, you can’t hide from it, but it can also be beautiful [27:34] The trajectory of grief plus, I don’t need to be told God needed Molly more [31:59] Is grief easier for religious people? Do support groups make you sicker? [34:22] There’s no right way to grieve and it doesn’t need to be controlled [38:50] Grief being an obstacle and how religion treats it [44:02] Don’t avoid your pain, move along with it, and not dwelling on self pity [46:49] Doing drugs and alcohol to cope with death [48:58] People forget the ones who die, but we can’t resent friends [50:36] Take your time to grieve and what’s left of Molly in Gracie’s room Resources: Connect with Barb:
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Part 2: Lies About Food
11/26/2024
Part 2: Lies About Food
The school lunch program in this country is not healthy and creates a divide between the rich and poor. The amount of rules and regulations make it difficult to operate and none of these kids are getting something that is actually fresh and nutritious. Key Takeaways: [3:20] How the school lunch program works [6:52] Schools buy lunches and the different menus for the wealthy and poor [9:14] School lunch used to be fresh and healthy [13:51] How much money these awful companies make [14:47] So many kids can’t digest the milk given [16:45] Cafeteria workers are not awful and not everyone gets the same food [19:03] Schools have reduced lunch time and eliminated recess [23:40] America doesn’t take into account cultural diversity [25:04] Lying to kids and not making them healthy [26:50] Criticism for hating on the FDA and having a choice with food [32:13] The good happening [33:39] My food experience, what’s yours like? Resources: Connect with Barb:
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Part 1: Lies About Food
11/19/2024
Part 1: Lies About Food
The food industry is full of lies because of greedy people that set out to make a lot of money and it’s costing Americans something even greater - their health. From lies about how great low fat is, to how fulfilling a bowl of Fruit Loops are, to how milk will make you healthy, the list of lies never stops growing. Key Takeaways: [0:43] Eating whole foods makes my body feel better [2:54] Breastmilk, different diets, and religion [5:47] I was made to clean my plate, my diet was not good in college [7:41] Humans once lived off the land and their diets are different [13:23] Many people of color are lactose intolerant and the school lunch program [17:54] The food industry lies about what’s healthy like Froot Loops and milk [20:14] The safest food is around the perimeter of the store? C. diff and E. coli [24:59] Low fat foods are good for you, but really they just put a lot of sugar in [26:27] Your arteries clog because of sugar not fat [27:53] The food pyramid was influenced by lobbyists [37:38] Different diets work for different people [33:22] What’s happening in my life Resources: Connect with Barb:
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Lies I Tell Myself
11/12/2024
Lies I Tell Myself
I’m having a not great week and it got me into the lies I constantly tell myself to feel better. The lies around grief, around my life changing, around my business working, around Kenny, and how I have a functioning life. In this episode, I also dive into the different types of grief and the lies that surround it. Key Takeaways: [1:45] I was always telling myself a story [3:29] Going to self blame [8:49] My relationship with Kenny [12:42] I spend a lot of my life doing things I don’t want to do [17:21] Making sure Jack’s life is not a carbon copy of Gracie or Molly’s [18:53] Lies around grief [21:59] My life has never been a normal, enjoyable family life [25:25] The biggest lies I tell myself [32:23] What am I doing with my life? [34:07] Complex grief, delayed grief, exaggerated grief, and masked grief [37:38] Self blame and self punishment Resources: Connect with Barb:
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Lies Men are Told
11/05/2024
Lies Men are Told
My dad died and it made me think about his life and actions. The lies that he was told as a man that he had to uphold in society and how that made him treat people. It makes me wonder if much has changed, but him being dead has also given me a sense of peace because of the abuse. Key Takeaways: [2:54] My dad looked like he had a normal childhood, but was neglected emotionally [7:29] My dad thought he was unloveable and had to be better than my mom [8:30] My dad had immense pressure to be a great athlete [13:41] Has any of the stereotyping really changed? [14:48] Girls play hard to get, you need to push, and real men don’t cry [17:34] Dancing is gay, men only want sex, and girls can do anything boys can do [19:50] Men in leadership and having a specific path laid out for you in life [21:41] Men must be independent, wealthy, not express emotion, and be athletic [25:32] Lying comes from a place of fear and wanting to fit in [28:46] Life, death, and mortality Resources: Connect with Barb:
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Lies Women Are Told
10/29/2024
Lies Women Are Told
Women are told so many lies around their bodies, sex, and social rules. From being told they’re unclean to being told that they can just turn their period off, sometimes men just really have no idea. In this episode, I dive into some of the wildest lies women are told versus what men hear and how that impacts their growth. Key Takeaways: [5:41] Growing up in the 60s and how I was treated differently as a girl [13:25] My asthma and the sexist thing the doctor said to me [16:49] Internally lying to myself about being disgusting [17:53] The NCAA didn’t always give scholarships out to women [19:44] Lies surrounding periods and being unclean [25:55] Testosterone is also naturally in women [27:02] Women’s health is complex with illness [29:01] You can’t tell who’s a virgin or how drugs mix [31:00] Menopause lowering your libido and you can’t get pregnant on your period [32:56] You can’t hold your period in and you can’t turn off getting pregnant [37:38] Hair, genetics, birthing positions, breasting feeding, and morning sickness [41:18] Period syncing, heavy periods, and women being considered incomplete boys [44:41] Men having orgasms, HPV, girls wanting to be skinnier, and the rules of sex [50:18] Appearing stupid to get guys, if a boy bullies you he likes you, and being a lady [51:57] BMI is fake, being called bossy, and being described as demure in athletics [55:29] Spinsters and not wanting boyfriends to see them without makeup [57:38] Revealing clothing means you wanted it and two wrongs don’t make a right [01:01] Having honest conversations and lies to perpetuate a reality [01:03] Being told to be quiet, speaking up, and having tough conversations Resources: Connect with Barb:
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Lies Told in Education
10/22/2024
Lies Told in Education
There are many lies we are told in school with the most major ones being that Native Americans broke bread with pilgrims, that the food pyramid was healthy, and that racism ceased to exist because slavery was abolished. In this episode, I dive into the lies I was told, how that shaped my worldview, and how I changed it. Key Takeaways: [2:17] You’ll need algebra in real life they say [3:36] Public education is supposed to level the playing field [5:36] The hidden curriculum [11:53] Implicit bias [13:22] The lies about the Native Americans and Christopher Colombus [19:04] Not being on time or getting a degree makes you a bad employee [21:09] Teaching evolution vs Adam and Eve [24:36] Perspectives and how much textbook companies control information [27:11] Christopher Colombus, Native Americans, and racism [33:57] The tea behind the Boston Tea Party [35:18] The Food Pyramid poisoned people [37:50] Learning styles are fake [39:56] DARE program and alcohol culture [41:02] STDs, abstinence education and AIDS [43:57] The Civil War being about states rights or slavery [47:29] Boarding schools for Native Americans [49:22] Seeing history from others perspectives and how questions are perceived Resources: Connect with Barb:
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Lying Versus Secret Keeping
10/15/2024
Lying Versus Secret Keeping
Is it true or is it just your perspective? People are told lives throughout their childhood and often go on to tell the same lies to their children. It’s a vicious cycle, but everyone sees truth in a different manner based on their life experiences. Key Takeaways: [3:34] Summary of the 12 steps [8:19] What are the lies you told your kids or other people? [18:11] I was a secret keeper as a child [24:24] Why people lie [29:59] How people see things differently [33:42] Everyone has their own truth [35:06] Living in the world of white men [38:08] What’s the next for the podcast Resources: Connect with Barb:
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Lies We Were Told As Children
10/08/2024
Lies We Were Told As Children
This is a new season all about lies: lies we were told, lies we tell, the morality of it all, and how perception can make a large difference between a lie and the truth. In this episode, I dive into the often silly lies that people were told as children like Santa Claus or that they’re pet “went to a farm” and how that impacts others. Key Takeaways: [0:46] Why I’m done with last season [9:42] What lying and the truth by definition are [12:31] Reasons why people lie [24:27] The funny lies that people were told as children [43:34] Share the lies you were told as children Resources: Connect with Barb:
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God Suffers Too
10/01/2024
God Suffers Too
In the additional step of 13 in AA it talks about if God exists, why do bad things still happen and how he has suffered as much as us. I also see how through my suffering I was able to find great support with my angel moms, even though others have condemned me. Key Takeaways: [2:04] Step thirteen of AA [3:32] If God exists then why do bad things happen? [5:00] God suffered just like the people around them [6:41] God doesn’t just fix everything [12:16] Why doesn’t God sustain what was created? [14:10] Finding connection amongst people [18:33] I don’t think Molly needed to die for me to learn to love [19:57] Suffering is apart of life, but you can’t let it consume you [23:51] Passing over: getting through life's crap [27:52] Losing my child united me with so many others [28:25] I hate getting advice from people who haven’t lost a child [29:46] Times I have struggled, but found my north star [30:29] Times I felt judged and condemned [31:57] We have to look at our suffering and see it in a healthier way Resources: Connect with Barb:
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Having a Spiritual Awakening
09/24/2024
Having a Spiritual Awakening
In step twelve, it’s time to pass on my teachings to others to help them in recovery. It is about living AA as a lifestyle, going through the steps again and again, while sharing wisdom and expecting nothing in return. In this episode, I dive into where addiction can stem from and contemplate taking the path that I fear in life. Key Takeaways: [2:26] Step twelve of AA [6:10] Kenny, household chores, and childcare frustrate me [12:03] You do the 12 steps several times, it’s a way of life [14:23] You need to share the information you learned from AA and live it [21:16] You don’t promote AA, it’s anonymous [24:48] If all you do is inhale and not exhale, you’re not helping others [28:00] Lecturing, demanding, and promoting don’t work in AA [31:54] Being free from religious indoctrination [34:05] Alcoholism and drug abuse isn’t a morale failure [35:44] I’ve given up on love, I have all that I need now [38:09] Addiction stems from a lack of love and intimacy [42:02] We all worship false gods [43:15] Taking the path that you feel is scary [45:21] Sharing wisdom with no expectation of another person’s change [46:35] My experience is not about telling other people what to do [48:55] I appreciate the good experiences, so I can manage the bad [50:15] I have pulled back from people since Molly’s death [53:05] You can now officially breathe and getting back to AA meetings [55:14] Tradition twelve Resources: Connect with Barb:
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Praying is Not About Fixing Things
09/17/2024
Praying is Not About Fixing Things
Step eleven of AA is not about praying for anything to be fixed, it’s about praying for self knowledge and the qualities we need to execute that knowledge. It’s about perhaps changing the way we pray, how we view God’s will, and just taking the time to contemplate your life even if you don’t believe in God. Key Takeaways: [3:52] Step eleven of AA [7:56] A calculating mind vs a contemplative mind [9:04] The five big human issues [11:46] Going to church as a child and Western bias [15:24] Praying not for an internal desire, but as an order from religion [18:53] Letting go of what I think is right and what I think I need to do [19:48] Who is doing the praying? How are you praying? [21:17] I have to stop being an ‘all or nothing’ thinker [22:44] Prayer requires you to see your inner self and stop battling it so much [27:31] There’s no preaching that every person needs AA [30:46] Finding something bigger than yourself and contemplating [34:35] Why I changed the way I pray [36:36] Praying didn’t get me what I want [38:32] My favorite Baha'i prayer [42:33] My understanding of God has changed [44:06] You can’t say what God’s will is [47:24] Traditions nine, ten, and eleven Resources: Connect with Barb:
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Admitting When I'm Wrong
09/10/2024
Admitting When I'm Wrong
In step ten of AA it’s all about taking a personal inventory and admitting when you’re wrong about things. It is about being aware of your choices, analyzing them, and trying to reconnect with yourself. In this episode, I explore the negative connotations I have with certain words and myself. Key Takeaways: [2:21] Step ten of AA [4:26] An examination of consciousness and stepping back from myself [12:03] Being aware and praying for detachment [13:40] Instead of trying to save your soul, teach it to communicate [15:00] Trusting your instinct and the Holy Spirit [19:41] Needing to reconnect and being a child of God [21:44] Making a personal inventory and analyzing emotions [27:13] Consumerism is addiction [28:25] I have negative feelings about the word obey [29:57] Becoming devoted to the idea of life after death [31:02] I have a negative connotation with myself for a lot of things [32:43] I don’t see myself as a child of God most of the time [33:39] I’m quick to admit I’m wrong, even if I’m not [36:53] Trying to find a morning routine Resources: Connect with Barb:
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Making Amends
09/03/2024
Making Amends
Step nine is all about the act of making amends and a list to go alongside it. It’s made me consider what truth really means, how context plays a part, and how communication can be ruptured if not done correctly. Key Takeaways: [2:50] Step nine of AA [5:37] Defining wisdom [8:31] Making amends [11:12] The different levels of truth, context, and meaning [17:58] Sincere people can still make rash judgements [19:12] COVID disrupted proper communication [22:14] Having my apology rejected, waiting for the right time [25:49] The mentors I’ve had in life [29:51] Gossiping and saturated social media [33:31] Respecting people's privacy while still telling my truth [36:56] Making my amends list Resources: Connect with Barb:
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List of People I’ve Hurt
08/27/2024
List of People I’ve Hurt
Step eight of AA is all about making a list of people I’ve hurt and finding ways to make amends with them. The difficulty is that making amends with people looks different for every person I hurt. This is a process that can take months or years and may not give you the results you want, but it’s part of the process. Key Takeaways: [2:31] Step eight of AA [4:46] Making amends with people is different than just apologizing [7:06] Some of the people I’ve made amends to [8:10] You can’t skip over the basics when you’re doing something complex [10:57] What if a bond is unrepairable or an amend impossible to make? [13:01] AA works because people show up years and years after becoming sober [15:13] I think Kenny is too forgiving [16:13] What non violent communication is all about [19:55] The addict has to work on themselves [22:13] Liberal vs conservative thinking, horizontal and vertical thinking [25:52] You can’t just make an apology to make yourself feel better [30:07] How I make amends [32:22] I’ve been hurt and people haven’t apologized [33:24] Listening to both sides of peoples experiences [34:26] I’m great at self blame [35:50] I hold onto anger from being lied to [36:28] It’s not easier for me to forgive anybody [37:27] This step can take months to do [39:37] Traditions seven and eight Resources: Connect with Barb:
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Being Open and Putting Ego Aside
08/20/2024
Being Open and Putting Ego Aside
Step seven has taught me a lot about putting my ego aside, living in gratitude, and focusing on the good in life instead of all the bad. It has shown me that even if you don’t drink alcohol anymore, you still have to change your mindset, otherwise have you truly changed? Key Takeaways: [1:56] Why I’ve been frustrated [3:16] Step seven of AA [7:21] Are we supposed to talk God into things? [10:05] The death of a relationship and entitlement [13:36] Putting your ego aside and being open [17:34] Being admonished for praying for certain things [20:10] You give up alcohol, but don’t change your mindset [24:30] Life is a gift and living every day in gratitude [26:54] The answers are right in front of you, but you often don’t see it [30:06] I consider prayer as a conversation with God [31:32] My entitlement from not feeling recognized [33:55] My prayers haven’t been answered [35:36] I’m constantly changing my schedule to accommodate others [39:21] I’ve been angry for years and not following through [40:58] I have been finding more gratitude in my life [42:41] What I desire in life [43:47] Focus on what’s going right, not wrong [46:14] I’m trying to build structure for myself [47:26] Sign up for my newsletter which connects to the podcast Resources: Connect with Barb:
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