A Thousand Tiny Steps
This podcast is for people who want to experience personal growth. Finding joy in tragic moments is a difficult task, but by listening to the stories of an ordinary woman who goes through extraordinary experiences, you can learn how to get through anything. Hear stories from Barb Higgins, the woman who had a baby at 57, lost her daughter to a brain tumor, dealt with addiction, and so much more. Inside each episode, Barb shares a story from her life and how she got through each tough experience. From lessons learned to how she took her self-care to another level, Barb pulls you into her world of inspiring circumstances and leaves you wondering, how does she do it?
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You Can't Sit With Us
12/23/2025
You Can't Sit With Us
The current school board is beginning to feel like… Regina Georgia’s lunch table. It reminds me of previous years on the board, my relationship with Chris Rath, all the emails on my school account, and so many other mistakes I made. One thing's for sure: I need to learn to notice the change in the weather unless I want to sit with more regrets soon. Key Takeaways: [1:34] Wanting to keep things the same and not noticing a change in the weather [3:07] Not becoming president of the school board [5:54] The board is twisting my realities into something it’s not [10:08] Most of the board members have the same demographics [11:36] My separation agreement that wasn’t so confidential [14:01] Filing a lawsuit against Chris Rath [16:35] Putting sensitive information on my school emails [21:49] Requesting time to go to the divorce hearing and being denied [24:42] Speaking out against the demolition of Kimball School [26:20] Fired for testifying at hearings and “giving athletes passing grades” [28:36] Looking back on all my mistakes [31:49] Being setup to fail [33:39] I need to learn to pay attention to subtle cues Connect with Barb:
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If I Interviewed Myself...
12/16/2025
If I Interviewed Myself...
If a clone of me was suddenly created and I interviewed myself here’s what I’d say. Because trust me, I did not want to do another episode where I talk about the sadness of grieving during the holidays. So instead, enjoy as I talk about everything from what I’d tell myself at 18 to the name of my book - if my enemy wrote it. Key Takeaways: [4:23] What people misunderstand about me most [5:30] My biggest failure and what I learned [7:17] What I want to be remembered for [7:53] My favorite holiday movie [9:29] The advice I’d give to my 18 year old self [10:26] The three most influential people in my life [12:15] What health and wellness mean to me [14:26] My self care routine [15:42] How I stay on track with my diet [16:59] My favorite way to stay active [17:43] The turning point to take my health more seriously [18:07] A wellness hack for everyone [18:56] How my perspective on mental health has changed [19:43] My inspiration to stay healthy, what I love, and my best choices [20:48] My favorite social media platform [21:25] My favorite sports [22:19] When I got interested in sports [22:50] My greatest accomplishments in sports [23:35] My favorite sporting icons [24:18] Which player in history I would speak to [24:47] Sports education is important [25:56] Where I would live if I could [26:31] What historical figure I would get coffee with [27:04] My favorite subject in school [27:22] My astrological sign [27:36] What I would do with $10,000,000 [27:53] What I would write a book about [28:08] The one meal I’d eat for the rest of my life [28:28] Name of my book if my enemy wrote it [29:20] My favorite color [29:57] Do you like this episode? Resources: Connect with Barb:
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My Anger Consumes Me
12/09/2025
My Anger Consumes Me
After my job loss, I was invited to do an interview which became the most popular one on our local radio show. A few days ago was the 40th year anniversary of a school shooting in Concord and I talked to one of the students who went through it. In this episode, I go on a trip down memory lane. Key Takeaways: [1:25] I don’t feel like I’ve made a lot of progress [2:12] 40 years ago there was a school shooting in Concord [5:40] The overwhelming grief of the mother [6:34] I talked to one of the students that went through it [8:02] Why is my anger getting in the way? [13:37] My interview on my job loss [18:41] I’m angry, frustrated, and lonely Resources: Connect with Barb:
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Would You Rather...
12/02/2025
Would You Rather...
This week, I’m throwing away toxic gratitude and playing Would You Rather because we all need some fun in our lives. I contemplate knowing when vs knowing how I would die, someone seeing all of my photos or all of my texts, and so many other ponderings. Key Takeaways: [0:28] Throwing away toxic gratitude and playing would you rather [3:17] See a little into the future or a lot? [3:53] The ability to read minds or move things? [4:25] Sing or dance to every song you hear? [4:45] Jail or coma for 5 years? [5:15] Chronically under or overdressed? [5:35] Lose my sight or my memories? [5:55] Universal respect or unlimited power? [6:29] No internet or no air conditioning? [7:09] Never be able to go out in the day or night? [7:30] Personal maid or chef? [7:46] Lead star in a movie that bombs or extra in an Oscar winning one? [8:34] Only text in emoji or not text at all? [8:47] Same socks or same underwear for a week? [9:04] Sing off with Ariana Grande or Rihanna? [9:25] Alone in a forest or a real haunted house? [9:52] Child every year for 20 years or no kids at all? [10:24] Gassy on a first date or your wedding night? [10:46] Hunt for your own meat or never eat meat again? [11:05] People spread lies about you or terrible truths? [11:58] Best at something no one respects or average at something they do? [12:42] Travel the world for free for a year or have $50,000? [13:27] Mullet for a year or bald for 6 months? [13:51] Go back to the past to see dead people or the future to meet grandkids? [14:05] Stay physically how you are forever or financially? [14:32] No phone for a month or no bathing for a month? [14:52] Change the outcome of the last election or decide the next election? [15:27] Lose the ability to read or lose the ability to speak? [15:58] Beautiful and stupid or unattractive and smart? [16:25] Always stuck in traffic but find the perfect parking spot or the opposite? [16:57] Go on tour with Elton John or Cher? [17:20] Win the lottery and spend it in a day or triple your current salary forever? [17:52] Hear a comforting lie or an uncomfortable truth? [18:03] Someone sees all your photos or all your texts? [18:21] 4th of July with Taylor Swift or Christmas Eve with Mariah Carey? [19:13] Peaceful life in a small cabin or drama filled in a mansion? [19:35] Be invisible or fly? [19:50] Be the leader on Earth or start another colony on another planet? [20:11] Back to kindergarten with all my knowledge or know everything now? [22:04] Read minds or predict the future? [22:13] Be an unknown superhero or famous villain? [22:48] Have a third eye or a third ear? [23:13] Wake up naked in a forest 5 miles from home or in your underwear at work? [23:52] Be reincarnated as a fly or just stop existing when dead? [24:11] Close any open door or be unable to open any closed door? [24:32] Work alongside Dwight or Homer? [24:55] Punished for a crime you didn’t commit or credit stolen for a major accomplishment of yours? [25:20] Celine or Eminem perform the soundtrack to your life? [25:38] Bathe in dish water or wash dishes in bath water? [25:50] Have your own theme park or zoo? [26:05] Know when or how you’re going to die? [26:21] Home with no electricity or home with no running water? [26:43] Tea with Queen Elizabeth or beer with Prince Harry? [27:08] Live the same day over for a year or take 3 years off your life? [27:39] Finding balance, gratitude, and what would you rather? Connect with Barb:
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What is Emergence?
11/25/2025
What is Emergence?
Emerging and changing my ways one tiny step at a time is not easy. Between school board, my living situation, my neighbor dying and my desire to keep things the same, but also change can feel like climbing an uphill battle. Key Takeaways: [0:28] We’re supposed to be grateful in November, but I don’t want to be [2:35] What emergence means in my life [7:37] Feeling ignored and not liked on school board [11:24] My desire to change, but keep things the same [18:15] Having no time alone at home, but having to share [21:42] Thinking about what needs to happen for things to change [24:28] My neighbor Brian died Connect with Barb:
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My Nightmare Coaching Job
11/18/2025
My Nightmare Coaching Job
I was fired from my coaching job, dealt with an inappropriate dad, an emotionally unstable teenager, and people that shot me nasty looks. All while having an unsupportive administrative staff that didn’t have my back. This is the story of the ups and downs of my coaching job at Bow. Key Takeaways: [3:21] Being hired at Bow High School as a coach [5:55] The new athletic director hated me [9:42] Our first meeting he chastised me for talking about Molly too much [10:53] Transportation and me having the kids in my personal car became a problem [12:19] Where the trouble began: the twins and Candice [13:47] Using SnapChat to communicate with the students [15:54] Being told not to talk about periods to my athletes [17:11] Being told I couldn’t tie dye shirts with my athletes in my personal yard [20:23] Candice didn’t want to run [21:24] Being told I couldn’t put MollyB on team t-shirts [23:04] Introducing Candice to Gracie and missing the awards ceremony [26:35] Sending my tattoo in the group chat and offending Candice [28:42] Being suspended because of the tattoo photo and the emails sent [38:12] Being fired and Candice’s dad, Doug’s conversations with me [46:38] Sending an angry email and making things personal with MD [49:14] Issues with transportation for the team, activities, and social media [52:47] Bow winning the team title was a big deal [54:38] Being sent an anonymous nasty letter to my home [59:11] I wasn’t inappropriate, but I messed up [1:02:56] Past runners still reach out to me in gratitude [1:04:33] People have stopped talking to me since all this [1:06:49] MD didn’t help me and now I just have mementos to reminisce [1:09:01] The worst part was that Gracie was hurt by all of this Resources: Connect with Barb:
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Re-Air: Ep. 113 - The Power of Friendship
11/11/2025
Re-Air: Ep. 113 - The Power of Friendship
I looked back on the two friends I’ve lost since I recorded this episode and the ones I’ve kept. In this episode, I thought about the people I surrounded myself with, what that meant, and the wonderful support I receive. It’s interesting to look back and see the toxic people I spent time with and how much my life has changed since then. Key Takeaways: [0:00] Getting sucked into a cycle of mistreatment [4:15] Fight, flight, fawn, and freeze [7:02] Susan is someone who brings me so much joy [9:40] Roberta learns so much about me through my podcast [12:30] Deb has been my friend since middle school [16:32] The most important people I’ve been friends with since childhood [17:36] The importance of who I’m surrounding myself with [20:19] Am I facilitating healthy friendships? [24:23] Things have changed 2 years later [25:37] How my friendship with Taylor ended [29:14] How my friendship with Polly ended [35:44] I have strengthened some friendships, but I don’t have many [39:27] Please leave reviews for the podcast [41:21] Where I am now Resources: Connect with Barb:
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Lions, Tigers, and Another Restraining Order… Oh My!
11/04/2025
Lions, Tigers, and Another Restraining Order… Oh My!
I’ve lost count of how many restraining orders have been in my life from either me having to file them, helping others file them, or having them filed against me. At some point it just feels like a circus and an abuse of the system. In this episode, I break down the history of them in my life and question if they really help people. Key Takeaways: [0:00] Does a restraining order actually do anything? [1:57] My restraining order against Science Guy [4:16] Helping Amy get a restraining order and then filing for one against her [12:32] Losing my job and filing for another one [17:58] Filing for protective orders seemed like a game to them [20:23] Roy filing for a restraining order against me [25:18] Thinking about the role that this has played in my life Connect with Barb:
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Science Guy Died
10/28/2025
Science Guy Died
Science Guy was my high school biology teacher who I lost my virginity to. He died a couple of months ago and I only found out a few weeks ago. I’m grieving for him and many people have an opinion on that. But two things can be true: I can realize the good moments we had together and also realize it was inappropriate. Key Takeaways: [0:00] Being sexually abused as a child and being told to be quiet [4:20] Science guy died a few months ago, reeling in the good and bad [11:35] Feeling wanted by an older man and joining track to spend time with him [16:29] I took my post on grieving Bruce down as the comments were ugly [20:57] The relationship was inappropriate, but it wasn’t uncommon [26:08] Part of me is angry that it feels like people tell me how to heal [28:42] Being told I had to tell my story in front of the school board [30:07] Being attacked for this and getting a restraining order [32:10] Still crying over the mix of emotions I feel [34:51] I know there are many more people like me Resources: Connect with Barb:
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Re-Air: Ep. 64 - My Childhood Sexual Abuse
10/21/2025
Re-Air: Ep. 64 - My Childhood Sexual Abuse
I was sexually abused as a child and it still impacts me at almost 60 years old. It took me a long time to be able to tell this story and to look back at the psychological impact that these terrible experiences had on me. It was a confusing time where I lost so much of myself, but telling this story has been cathartic. If you need help there are resources below. Key Takeaways: [2:45] My mom was a stay at home mother and my dad worked a lot [4:20] First instance of sexual abuse [6:46] It happening again and feeling terrible for not saying anything [9:40] First physical incident and the fear it created in me [14:28] Being abused constantly in 5th grade [18:04] Setting fire to my clothing [19:07] My social life began to tank in 5th grade [21:30] Being aware of my sexuality [23:35] Being abused again, but having a better understanding [25:07] Going to the ER for asthma and feeling safe in the hospital [26:32] Being abused in 6th grade and hypervigilance [28:59] Having to get my siblings ready in the morning [31:08] Beginning to understand the full scope of sexual abuse [33:16] The last abuse attempt and telling my mom [35:23] Looking back on the psychological changes in me [37:41] Family history of abuse and generational trauma [39:41] Struggling with sleeping with a lot of people in my early twenties [42:54] Isolating myself, depression, and exhaustion [45:14] Reexperiencing trauma and hypervigilance [47:14] Parental support helped save me [47:44] My response to sexual abuse [50:41] How being abused affected my parenting [52:33] Getting very sick in the hospital and not eating [53:59] The good and the bad in my life [56:18] Releasing these words is cathartic to me [57:14] Victims are not at fault for being assaulted [57:39] Losing parts of myself, but continuing to push forward Resources: Connect with Barb:
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Re-Air: Ep. 55 - The Lows and Highs of my Sophomore Year
10/14/2025
Re-Air: Ep. 55 - The Lows and Highs of my Sophomore Year
My sophomore year was full of ups and downs. I went into the year not knowing where to sit at lunch, and unsure of myself. I ended up going to Germany, quitting gymnastics, joining the cheer team, and becoming a track star. As all these amazing things happened, I spent more time with my teacher, science guy, which quickly became something more. Key Takeaways: [8:30] Going to gymnastics camp again and feeling harassed [11:03] Gymnastics camp giving me a social life [12:36] My eventful first day of 10th grade as a cheerleader [13:58] Mr. Smith made such an impact on my life [17:07] Going to science guy’s class and being humiliated [19:34] Enjoying cheerleading, dances, getting drunk and in trouble [24:35] Quitting gymnastics and struggling with my asthma [26:25] Keeping myself insanely busy and trying to find a new social group [28:39] Starting to spend time with science guy in his apartment [30:28] I struggle with boundaries and where lines can blur with teachers [34:01] Making excuses to spend more and more time with science guy [36:30] Going out for track because of science guy, but struggling with asthma [41:24] Feeling like I fit in, becoming a track star, and getting popular [45:57] Having sex for the first time at 15 and the trauma repeating in my life [50:53] I recreated the abuse and trauma from when I was younger Resources: Connect with Barb:
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The Mental Load of Motherhood
10/07/2025
The Mental Load of Motherhood
As I Mother both my mom and my children at the same time, it made me contemplate what a mother is, all the things I take on, and how that impacts me. It made me think about growing up and how parenting is seen so differently these days. In this episode, I explore how my life has impacted my parenting. Key Takeaways: [0:39] The mental load that mothers have to take on and what it means to be one [4:03] Having to take care of my mom and still be a mom myself [5:56] How my childhood impacted what I think a good mom is [12:02] How the younger generations have changed [14:26] Feeling like I’m always the one making sacrifices [16:56] Doing a Hyrox race and what an amazing community that is [20:15] Stressing out about things I can’t change Connect with Barb:
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Re-Air: Ep. 18 - Trauma Bonds in Grief
09/30/2025
Re-Air: Ep. 18 - Trauma Bonds in Grief
As a result of trauma, boundaries have been a lifelong struggle for me. From my friendship with Robin, my friendship with Steph, and my job loss at Bow boundary crossing has followed me. I explore these 3 events in my life and how trauma has affected them. In this episode, not only do I share my journey with trauma, but also what I have begun to learn about my behavior. Key Takeaways: [1:15] My struggle with setting boundaries as a result of trauma [8:58] My friendship with Robin [15:21] Getting legal support from the wrong person [17:59] How my friendship with Robin also impacted my kids [21:11] Being hired to coach track and field in Bow [25:11] Getting bigger track teams and visiting Molly’s grave with them [26:52] Meeting and supporting a runner who lost a parent [29:08] Butting heads with the administration and parents while feeling unsupported [33:00] Getting a tattoo, showing it to my runners, and getting suspended [39:19] Managing a charter school that failed [41:30] Beginning to understand where my behavior comes from [49:36] Understanding that just because I lost a child doesn’t mean people will be kinder [51:47] What the future holds Resources from this episode: Connect with Barb:
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Slow Down, Barb!
09/23/2025
Slow Down, Barb!
The universe keeps sending me the same message: slow down, Barb! Doing six different things at once and expecting something to change is not working. So we’re still here three years later contemplating self sabotage through old blog posts I’ve written. Key Takeaways: [1:35] Being indecisive, procrastinating, and a whole lot of anger [4:27] Tis the season for Spillin’ The Tea [6:54] Only seeing the bad in life and 3 years later still surrounded by chaos [11:04] Abuse makes it easy to not even notice when things are “off” [12:18] Blogs I wrote that have me reflecting [13:34] The blog: Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones… [14:53] The blog: Who Is Really in Control [28:54] The message is the same again and again: slow down! Resources: Connect with Barb:
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Re-Air: Ep. 67 - I Self Sabotage
09/16/2025
Re-Air: Ep. 67 - I Self Sabotage
I really, really struggle with self sabotage in every aspect of my life. From relationships, to not following through on things, to recreating trauma. It is an endless battle. I am working to better myself by being introspective and examining why I constantly sabotage myself and what I can do to work on it. Key Takeaways: [1:35] Self sabotage and regret in my life [4:09] Physical and emotional stress can make us stronger [6:02] Self sabotaging in an effort to protect myself [9:48] Sabotaging myself to create familiarity and safety [11:05] Drinking to fit in [13:36] Not having a good diet, but exercising [14:53] Teaching even though coaching lite me up [17:17] Having this idea off what I’m supposed to be [18:09] Sabotaging relationships, finding safety in people, and escaping [20:36] Not following through on things [23:13] Hanging on to past relationships [25:47] Reasons for sabotage [27:38] I hate being wrongly accused [29:24] Being in a state of denial and working to better myself [30:41] Recreating trauma and the battle of the brain [31:59] Contemplating why I live my life the way I do [35:37] Thinking about what needs to change in my life [38:23] Checking up on past relationships [42:11] Trying to better myself and my business [44:50] Staying in Concord even though I complain about it [47:21] The struggle with social media Resources: Connect with Barb:
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Laughing Through Grief with Evelyn & Steven
09/09/2025
Laughing Through Grief with Evelyn & Steven
Evelyn and Steven have been through the ringer after two of their siblings died as a product of addiction. They still contemplate how things could have been different and if they would have followed the same path Leslie was on. But through their grief, they tell a raw story riddled with dark humor Key Takeaways: [2:37] Getting close to Leslie after I got pregnant at 16 [6:18] My relationship with Leslie was weird, especially with the huge age gap [7:16] The funeral and thinking maybe we could’ve prevented her death [10:44] Leslie was a good student and then it all suddenly took a turn her senior year [15:47] Screaming after finding out Leslie was dead [18:32] Having to tell people she was dead and they wouldn’t leave us alone [21:13] Finding out Sam was dead impacted us so much more [22:45] How Sam died from alcohol and mom having a seizure [25:32] Being sexually abused by Leslie’s friends and not being believed [29:50] Hypervigilance is safety and the moment we found out Sam died [38:14] Having familial support and checking in truly made a difference [40:19] Finding laughter in dark moments [44:02] The difference between Leslie and Sam’s personalities [45:38] Seeing signs of Leslie and Sam throughout the universe [48:53] The angst over their burial plots [51:32] I’m never going to get closure, but I have to keep pushing through life [54:28] Tomorrow is not promised so live your life authentically [56:54] The things our siblings will never get to do Connect with Barb:
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Anticipatory Grief with Danielle
09/02/2025
Anticipatory Grief with Danielle
Danielle cared for Lexi for 7 years as she battled a brain tumor they knew she would die from. Balancing taking care of someone she loves with also grieving them and having her life spent going from appointment to appointment was a lot - and that’s an understatement. She is now learning what to do in the “after” as in after a person dies. Key Takeaways: [2:41] Knowing something was wrong with Lexi and finding cancer [8:01] Finding out she would die and we didn’t know when [12:12] Spending so much time in the reality of death and not knowing what to do after [15:03] Lexi’s mom is living a new life [18:03] Starting a blog for Lexi to keep everyone updated on her condition [23:10] Wanting people to remember those who have died [28:21] How Lexi’s family managed to navigate this journey together [31:05] Struggling in the early days of grief [36:08] Grieving something you never had and going to a medium [41:03] Let chronically ill people be their own person [42:04] Let people help you in life Connect with Barb:
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Grieving A Person You Never Knew with Margaret
08/26/2025
Grieving A Person You Never Knew with Margaret
Margaret is an author who lost a brother she never even knew. The news was a shock and she wanted to know all the details. But she didn’t get all the details right away, it has been years of talking to others and research that helped show how the stories we carry throughout our lives impact our everyday choices. Key Takeaways: [2:41] I didn’t know I had a sibling that died and I needed to know more [9:15] We didn’t talk about his death, but it came out in my town anyway [14:01] My dad spilled all the details on what happened before he died [17:13] I finally looked at the accident in the newspaper [20:47] The secrecy of this story and wondering what might have been [23:39] Leaving town to escape the everything that surrounded his death [24:31] It was unsettling for people to know more about the story than me [26:56] Learning the identity of who killed my brother [30:01] How we carry stories throughout our lives [39:10] Losing a baby and the loss of never knowing them either [41:01] Resources for people that lost a sibling [44:05] I wouldn’t write a book about the accident [47:25] My next novel Resources: Connect with Barb:
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Finding Happiness with Patrick
08/19/2025
Finding Happiness with Patrick
Patrick is 20 years old and has written a book that is filled with so much wisdom. We got to chatting about the impact of phones on society, instant gratification, his process for writing his book, and his unique outlook on life. In this episode, Patrick talks about his journey to find happiness and what he’s learned along the way. Key Takeaways: [1:23] Patrick’s basketball career and switching universities [5:37] How I wrote my book [9:32] Being addicted to your phone and getting a flip phone [15:35] Expecting instant gratification because of phones [23:32] Relationship expectations have changed and not in a good way [28:17] Reading a page from Patrick’s book about missing connection [29:53] The philosophers that have influenced the book [31:53] Living in the moment and meditating [34:21] Going to Bali to learn what Patrick has already [38:28] The framework from the book: the foundation of peace [41:53] Maslow’s hierarchy of needs [43:41] Lived experienced versus book knowledge [47:32] Gain wisdom from bad events Resources: Connect with Barb:
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Grieving for Two Decades with Matt
08/12/2025
Grieving for Two Decades with Matt
Matt, the host of The Life Shift, came on to talk about losing his mom, perfectionism, learning new ways to grieve, and how having a podcast has been so validating. He goes through his journey of grief over a lifetime and how for so long he did what society expected of him. Now he has a different view on life and tries to share it every week. Key Takeaways: [1:20] Losing my mom at age 8 and no one around me talking about their grief [5:02] Being perfect out of fear and grieving the things you didn’t get to do [8:41] I didn’t have a safe place and lost all of the items I cared about [11:49] I don’t really remember my mom and all the moving I did as a child [14:05] Using my mom’s death as a crutch and doing what I was “supposed to” in life [21:38] I feel like I’ve closed the door on grief with my mom [22:56] My grandma dying and having a conversation with her about our grief [26:47] Having a living funeral and saying the things you want to while they’re alive [30:23] If my mom hadn’t died, I wouldn’t be this version of me [32:26] My twenties was about doing what society expected of me [33:21] In my thirties, I took a break, grieved on my terms, and did something scary [32:35] Hearing other people's struggles is validating [41:56] The power of having control over someone else’s story [46:02] Losing a pet is a grieving experience that shouldn’t be invalidated [52:49] We don’t know what people are going through, meet them where they are Resources: Connect with Barb:
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Weight and Organ Donation With Gabby
08/05/2025
Weight and Organ Donation With Gabby
Gabby is the daughter of Tim who had a pig kidney put inside him, but he knows it’s only a temporary fix. So it sent Gabby on a journey to initially be a possible candidate to donate her kidney, but it became so much more. It has become a journey of health - and what that means to her. Key Takeaways: [1:51] Gabby traveled all over the country and took care of animals [4:33] Having a dad on dialysis needing a kidney but not being eligible due to BMI [9:39] Getting gastric bypass surgery, the pain, and the emotional hurdles [16:03] Finding out my partner has kidney disease [20:41] Discovering some of my weight is genetic [27:13] The choice of possibly donating my kidney and the stress on my mom [32:35] Believing in yourself even when it feels like everything is against you Resources: Connect with Barb:
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Exit 20? On The Grief Highway
07/29/2025
Exit 20? On The Grief Highway
Highway to Hell… waitttt a minute, sorry, wrong place, although it can feel like that sometimes. In this episode, I am once again brought back to making other people comfortable in my grief. I may be at exit twenty in grief on a really good day, but the others? Well, it can feel like the highway to hell. Key Takeaways: [0:46] Bereaved Parents Month and my mixed thoughts on it [3:01] The highway of grief, I’m at Exit God If I Know. [9:44] Making comments from our exit sounds terrible to others [12:30] I never get to have these memories with Molly again [17:36] Taking a step back and stepping into other people’s shoes [20:04] Seeing Molly’s friends and thinking of who she would be [21:43] Gracie never getting to do things with Molly again [23:16] Running, my birthday, moving my mom, and the tea that’s piping hot [27:53] Leave a review as a birthday present to me Connect with Barb:
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Waiting Years for a Diagnosis with Tammy
07/22/2025
Waiting Years for a Diagnosis with Tammy
Tammy went on a journey to find her diagnosis: Primary Hyperparathyroidism. Countless doctors, tests, misdiagnoses, and so many pills it made her head spin. After all the turmoil, she found her diagnosis, got treatment, and is living a great life today running again. Key Takeaways: [2:01] Finding out I have high blood pressure again and again [3:53] The beginning of taking medication after medication [9:48] Low potassium, terrible migraines, and horrid edema [12:40] Doing a mind/body program for high blood pressure [18:56] Being diagnosed with colitis and ovarian abscess [20:11] Being told I have a tumor on my adrenal gland and little syndrome [23:36] Getting the tumor removed: my life changed [29:11] Writing a book on my experiences [32:05] Entering a contest on a whim and winning! [35:47] Don’t stop advocating for your health Resources: Connect with Barb:
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Finding a New Relative with Eleanor
07/15/2025
Finding a New Relative with Eleanor
Eleanor joins me again to discuss our new relative: how we found her and the mix of emotions surrounding it. Excited, nervous, and a lot of feelings over the memory of our brother Jeffery. Finding out our deceased brother had a child who will never get to know him is another twist in our lives. Key Takeaways: [4:45] A woman reached out asking if we were related [7:46] Feeling intimidated, excited, selfish, and seeing my assumptions debunked [9:26] Finding Jeffery’s child felt so important because he’s dead [10:48] Protecting the memory of Jeffrey and the news [13:11] Finding out my dad wasn’t my dad was traumatic [17:11] Niece’s family support and what her life was like growing up [18:12] The similarities between us and what we’ll give her as a person [21:20] Jeffery’s traumatic brain injury [23:51] Visiting Jeff in Happy Valley [25:29] It takes a village to welcome someone new [28:36] Exploring new things and facing my fears Resources: Connect with Barb:
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Choosing to Breastfeed with Kelsey
07/08/2025
Choosing to Breastfeed with Kelsey
Kelsey is the amazing woman who supplied me donor milk when Jack was young. This concept didn’t exist when I was younger and I’m so glad this option does now. It’s a great opportunity to connect with other moms, get advice, and have support to breastfeed and not use formula if that’s what you choose. Key Takeaways: [1:47] Nursing all my kids to older ages and using donor milk [11:55] I nurse in public and criticism I’ve received [15:11] Using donor milk and great groups that support breastfeeding [20:31] Just nursing one child now and the feelings that come with it [23:06] My favorite memory nursing and having painful mastitis [28:58] Funniest memory nursing and a memory Barb’s track team never forgot [32:06] Advocate for yourself and find a IBCLC Consultant [33:39] Nurses giving the wrong information on breastfeeding Resources: Connect with Barb:
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Adjusting to my Changing Life
07/01/2025
Adjusting to my Changing Life
As I give out MollyB awards and receive an award of my own, I reflect on what I’m doing in my life, how I’m working towards my goals, what my priorities are, and how I am adjusting to my life which is changing rapidly. Key Takeaways: [1:09] Life still carries on even if Molly is dead [3:04] The story of Fanny Minot the person who I received the award in honor of [8:36] Matt Bonner: a famous basketball player who also received the award [9:43] Adversity in life, finding someone to blame, and looking at yourself [11:52] Not fixating on the result as a measure of success [12:36] You have to work hard all the time, you can’t just wish for it [13:48] Comparing yourself to others makes no sense [15:47] You are as sick as the secrets you keep and self sabotage [19:02] I want to go deeper into stories and not shy away from them [22:02] Having to adjust to my life changing Resources: Connect with Barb:
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Being a Mortician with Jenn
06/24/2025
Being a Mortician with Jenn
Jenn is a mortician who turned her life around. After dropping out of high school and working a low paying job that made caring for her children different she met her wonderful husband and got her GED. But when she got into her forties, she felt like she needed to do something for herself. So what did she do? Go to mortuary school, of course. Key Takeaways: [2:05] Dropping out of high school, but then changing my life in my forties [6:40] Getting diagnosed with ADHD and how that helped me succeed [9:15] How I got into mortuary school and what my classes are like [14:46] People going to mortuary school because it’s “goth and cool” [17:23] The job is about compassion and having a lot of people skills [20:33] My hardest classes, my internships, and the amazing story of how I got my job [24:57] What school didn’t prepare me for and the hardest part of my job [28:47] My favorite part is doing body removals because I get to know the person’s life [34:05] What my schedule looks like and my advice for people wanting to do the job [36:18] Going to mortuary school is the best thing I ever did, even when I wanted to quit [41:08] This job has been life changing to me Connect with Barb:
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Stop Telling Me How to Grieve
06/17/2025
Stop Telling Me How to Grieve
I’m tired of people telling me how to feel, how to grieve, when to grieve, and for how long. Many people project their emotions because they’re uncomfortable, but sometimes people just need to sit in grief and not have it minimized. Key Takeaways: [0:44] Stop telling me how to grieve and projecting your emotions [2:27] The memory chair [11:51] Minimizing grief and the advice people give [19:11] Being part of a Heart Warriors group and realizing I do belong [20:56] Being understood in my grief and cleaning out the closet [24:59] Think about what you’re saying to people Connect with Barb:
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The Concord Prom
06/10/2025
The Concord Prom
There has been drama in my town because the prom has been moved locations. This had me reminisce about my own prom, the things others remembered, the history of the prom in my town, and how it should be about bringing the community together. Key Takeaways: [1:45] The drama with the prom [3:27] What I remember about my prom [9:21] The prom moved to a few key locations, but it’s kept shifting [17:30] The history of the prom in my town [20:05] My message to the kids who prom got moved [23:32] What I think should happen with the future of the prom Connect with Barb:
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Living an Ordinary Life with Achondroplasia with Brenda
06/03/2025
Living an Ordinary Life with Achondroplasia with Brenda
Brenda has achondroplasia, a genetic condition which impacts her bones, but she doesn’t let it stop her from living an ordinary life. She talks about how it impacts her day to day, all the businesses she’s owned, and how she’s never know anything else so she doesn’t feel that different. Key Takeaways: [0:43] Brenda’s condition and how it impacts the body [6:00] A controversial treatment [9:09] Brenda’s childhood [14:52] Chronic pain, the jobs she’s had, and how it impacts her day to day life [22:12] Being an older mom, having a normal life, and being kind [26:44] I’m not disabled Resources: Connect with Barb:
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