Finding Sobriety and Getting Pregnant With Skyler
A Thousand Tiny Steps
Skyler’s story is full of ups and downs from having a rocky childhood to getting pregnant while addicted to then finding sobriety with a husband that supports her. Through her journey she has posted on social media sharing her story, most recently of the last words she said to her mom and the things that will stick with her for a lifetime. Key Takeaways: [1:48] My parents were addicts, being abused, and starting to use drugs [8:28] Getting pregnant, trying not to relapse, and losing my child [15:22] My child’s father dying and finding out in the worst way ...
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The Forgotten Ones: Sibling Grief
A Thousand Tiny Steps
As I got into an argument with Gracie, it made me dive deeper into a topic that’s not talked about enough: sibling grief. People often focus more on the parent’s and not the child that has just lost the person they spent their formative years with. This can cause Gracie and I to have very different views and ways of grieving, but it has also opened my eyes on how to be more understanding. Key Takeaways: [2:30] Sibling vs parental grief [5:07] Gracie lost her person in this world that she did everything with [11:23] Our argument over the MollyB Gala and Gracie...
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Our Dad Was 82 When I Was Born With Eleanor
A Thousand Tiny Steps
This week, I sat down with my sister Eleanor who had a very different upbringing than me considering our father was 82 when she was born. She talks about the judgements people have, having to work hard to forge connections in the family, and how she looks past ageism to come from a place of understanding. Key Takeaways: [2:58] My dad was 82 when I was born, but my childhood was normal [10:46] Misconceptions people had about my dad being older [18:15] Meeting people where they’re at and having patience [26:24] Family dynamics, finding out we’re sisters, and...
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I Miss Molly
A Thousand Tiny Steps
In this episode, I just ask for you to sit with me in grief of losing my child. My thoughts on the birth of all my children, what I love, what I miss, and why dates are so important to people who are grieving. I contemplate Jack’s personality and the parts of both Molly and Gracie I can see in him. Key Takeaways: [1:37] Jack’s birthday and my children’s births [4:53] Dates are important and I can’t stop thinking of Molly [8:00] Not wanting to go into labor so soon and Molly’s birth [15:28] What Jack is like and how we handle holidays [18:26] My next...
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Finding Balance with Michelle
A Thousand Tiny Steps
Michelle and I sat down to have a conversation on her work with the nervous system, biofeedback, neurofeedback, traumatic responses, and addressing the root of a problem. She takes on work that’s not traditional in a therapist’s office, but is so needed because of the mind/body connection. Key Takeaways: [3:15] Michelle is a complementary therapist and looking at the nervous system [10:34] Teaching the next generation, trusting them, and rolling with the changes [18:41] What neurofeedback is and traumatic responses [33:27] Learning from a situation and...
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Trauma, 3 New Siblings, and a Therapist Walk Into a Bar…
A Thousand Tiny Steps
When Amy’s best friend's parents were murdered she suddenly didn’t just have a brother, but three new siblings who needed a lot of help after the trauma. That left Amy in limbo with her family dynamics and not feeling like she had a place. It shaped her identity as she went on to become a therapist. Key Takeaways: [2:33] Amy’s friends parent was murdered and suddenly they were all living with her [7:48] College was a huge adjustment, I thought I knew what I wanted, but hated it [11:44] Moving to Wisconsin, the cold sucking out Amy’s soul, and doing home...
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Finding a New Life with Emily
A Thousand Tiny Steps
I got to talk with Emily, a former runner of mine who was a highliner, dealt with Lyme Disease, chatted about how the cycle of trauma can continue, and the life that she’s living now. A nomadic one with more freedom to run her own business and take of her own life. Key Takeaways: [2:33] How Emily got into highlining [12:09] Dealing with Lyme disease [20:37] Splitting up from her husband [25:11] Generational trauma [35:23] Getting an RV, living a nomadic lifestyle, and a jewelry business Resources: Connect with Barb: ...
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The Season of Guests
A Thousand Tiny Steps
In this episode, I talk about my season of guests, how the podcast has changed, and debating what will happen in the future with the podcast. I have some amazing guests lined up who are all in some way connected to me. Key Takeaways: [3:28] My first season was about Jack and the second was about Molly [4:21] My third season about trauma and the fourth season was about being a mom [6:17] Season 5 and 6 in high school and the next were about chaos [9:43] Sharing the journey of 3 amazing women who have gone through trauma [15:00] Talking to the dance kids...
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Dead Molly Money
A Thousand Tiny Steps
Filing a lawsuit came with its trials and tribulations, but it also came with a check: dead Molly money. It has taken me so much time to process Molly’s death and put together a foundation. I have finally decided it’s time to really make the foundation into something, instead of just giving money away because doing so will help the true spirit of Molly. Key Takeaways: [1:45] Having to be quiet from the pain of settling lawsuits [7:40] The Dead Molly Money blog post [12:27] The amount of money I’ve given away and what the event will be like [15:01] The...
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Period Stigma in Schools with Jenn
A Thousand Tiny Steps
This week, I sat down with my friend Jenn, a teacher who has helped create a thrift store and a period program for students. The Red Dot Program helps people have access to all types of period products and clothing without having to go to the nurse or make a big announcement. Key Takeaways: [2:56] What the Red Dot Program is and Jenn’s first period [7:22] Periods are not taken as seriously as other health issues [8:54] What products are in the lockers as well as clothing [13:06] The pushback the program has experienced and giving education [21:05] Jenn’s...
info_outlineAs I go into the holidays and my 9th year grieving, here are some lies surrounding grief that I never stop hearing. Some of them just piss me off and some of them I understand better as I’m farther along. Either way, the important part is that you can grieve how you want to, it’s not going to be linear, and take your time.
Key Takeaways:
[3:08] Grief can be temporary or forever
[5:21] Christmas plans
[8:08] Time does not heal all wounds
[10:35] I’m never going to be over it
[11:42] I’m not going to stop talking about Molly
[13:42] Being told I could have prevented her death
[15:30] Ignoring grief doesn’t make it go away
[18:30] Just because you grieve doesn’t make you a whiner
[22:18] God, death, and prayers
[24:21] Grief is not liner, you can’t hide from it, but it can also be beautiful
[27:34] The trajectory of grief plus, I don’t need to be told God needed Molly more
[31:59] Is grief easier for religious people? Do support groups make you sicker?
[34:22] There’s no right way to grieve and it doesn’t need to be controlled
[38:50] Grief being an obstacle and how religion treats it
[44:02] Don’t avoid your pain, move along with it, and not dwelling on self pity
[46:49] Doing drugs and alcohol to cope with death
[48:58] People forget the ones who die, but we can’t resent friends
[50:36] Take your time to grieve and what’s left of Molly in Gracie’s room
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