Confessions of the Higher Desire Wife with J. Parker Ep. 699

Mismatched sex drives in marriage? You're not alone—and it's not a problem to fix, but an opportunity to grow together.

Most couples (up to 90%!) will experience periods where their sexual desires don't line up perfectly. It's completely normal—and it's a chance to build deeper understanding, communication, and compassion in your relationship. Getting honest about differences means you can meet each other where you are, as a team.

This conversation is full of encouragement for the couple (or the spouse) who is feeling the disconnect from the different drives. Join Dr. Kim and J. Parker as they talk about normalizing this topic and making your marriage (and sex life) awesome.

Episode Highlights:

Majority of couples face the struggle of mismatched sex drives.

It’s important that the lines of communication are open when talking about desire, frequency and expectation.

Open, ongoing communication is key to building intimacy. 

The way we think about intimacy is often shaped by cultural messages, church teaching, or our upbringing.

 

Quotes from Today’s Episode:

Mismatched sex drives aren't the exception—they're the norm.

Instead of seeing it as a sign something's wrong, view it as an opportunity to communicate, show compassion, and navigate intimacy as a team.

The old script that ‘men want sex and women want romance' sells everyone short. You can crave both romance and intimacy, regardless of who in your marriage has the higher desire.

A thriving sex life isn't automatic—it's something you cultivate over time, through learning, honesty, and growth together.

Sometimes a gap in desire isn't about your relationship at all, but about real-life pressures.

There are times when speaking up isn't nagging—it's partnership. Express what you need, but do it out of love and with respect, seeking to connect and understand, not just correct.

 

Questions for Reflection:

1. When was the last time you and your spouse had a conversation about frequency? 
2. Do you feel comfortable telling your spouse what you need in regards to physical intimacy? 
3. What’s one small step you could take this week to communicate more openly about your needs and create healthier intimacy together?

 

Mentioned in this Episode:

• Hot, Holy and Humerous

• J Parker is on Instagram!

• Achieving Awesome Sex in Marriage online course with Dr. Kim and J. Parker

• If you are the lower drive spouse, consider taking our Think Sex Challenge. Our brain is a powerful sex organ and sometimes we have to take the time to “think sex”.

• Want an opportunity to dig into God’s Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Fight the chaos of culture and keep your marriage grounded in Biblical truth. Check out 5 Marriage Lies to Defeat with Biblical Truth.

• If you haven’t browsed our site, you’ve GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com ! 

• Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!

• Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to receive our Fix Communication Breakdowns Bundle