Hookups, Trail Grooming, and Chafing: Guy Stuff with The Real Hiking Viking and Lt Cookoo Bird (BPR #343)

In today’s episode of Backpacker Radio presented by The Trek, brought to you by Topo Athletic…today’s episode is pure chaos. 

If you’ve listened to any of our Hiking Viking episodes, you already know what I’m talking about.

After four “Girl Stuff” episodes, Chaunce figured it was only fair to balance the scales with what we’re officially calling the Guy Stuff episode, a panel-style conversation that goes off the rails almost immediately, featuring Jabba and Lt Cookoo Bird.

We cover everything from trail grooming strategy (aka pube management), to whether you’d rather have boobs or a vagina for 24 hours, to making Backpacker Radio condoms as trail swag, Chaunce has a beard, and Jabba bites Chaunce’s toes.

If you’re looking for polished thru-hiking advice… this ain’t it. This is a circus. Enjoy the ride. 

Topo Athletic: Use code “TREKWINTER15” at topoathletic.com.

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Interview with Jabba and Cookoo

• Jabba's Instagram
• Cookoo's Instagram

Time stamps & Questions

00:08:15 - Reminders: Apply to vlog or blog for the Trek, apply to be a Trail Correspondent, listen to our episodes ad-free on Patreon, and subscribe to The Trek's Youtube!

00:12:20 - Introducing Jabba and Cookoo

00:16:35 - Cuckoo, what have you been up to since you were last on the podcast?

00:26:54 - Do you think your urge to hike quickly is a macho trait?

00:29:10 - Discussion about working out

00:32:40 - Chaunce’s BPR condoms idea

00:39:10 - Jabba, what have you been up to since you were last on the podcast?

00:50:35 - Discussion about PCT Days

00:59:20 - You have 24 hours - do you want to have boobs or a vagina?

01:05:00 - Discussion about trail grooming strategy

01:16:50 - Jabba’s Roku stick story

01:18:32 - Discussion about blue balls

01:24:25 - How could a woman mess with a group of men on trail?

01:30:45 - Have you Tinder-blazed?

01:35:55 - What’s your most interesting trail hookup story?

01:53:45 - What do you do differently when you’re interested in someone on trail?

01:56:50 - How do you deal with swamp sack?

02:01:30 - How do you maintain personal hygiene?

02:11:00 - What are some things you’ve learned as you’ve hiked?

02:14:00 - Is chafing inevitable?

02:18:30 - How do you maintain your upper body while hiking?

02:25:00 - Discussion about supplements on trail

02:28:35 - Is anyone taking testosterone on trail?

02:31:20 - What upcoming hiker fashion trends do you foresee?

02:35:05 - Would you rather encounter a man or bear in the woods?

02:47:25 - How long would you wait to tell someone you’re completely lost?

02:50:57 - What’s the most vulnerable moment you’ve had on trail?

02:59:15 - What’s the best way to break the ice to a new date that you hike four months per year?

03:03:12 - Who has the better fantasy team?

03:05:30 - Peak Performance Question: What’s your top performance-enhancing or backpacking hack?

03:21:40 - When do you choose trail runners versus boots?

Segments

Trek Propaganda:

• 5 Thru-Hikers Who Turned Their Passion for Hiking Into a Small Business by Chickpea
• The 2025 Appalachian Trail Thru-Hiker Survey: General Information (Part 2) by Katie Jackson

QOTD: They’re a 10 but they like to turn off the game in the 4th quarter - can you make the relationship work?

Triple Crown of unsung technological advancements

Mail Bag

5 Star Review

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