Healing Emotional Dysregulation
Bear Psychology Podcast
In this healing exploration author and therapist Dr. Tamra Sattler reflects on the “Enneagram 4” also referred to as “Borderline-style personality”. These personality styles have a reputation of being difficult for therapists to work with, families to tolerate, and importantly for those struggling to love and accept themselves. In her book, “Too Much and Not Enough: Healing for the Enneagram Four or Borderline-Style Personality”, Sattler describes how people achieve self-discovery and a path forward to belonging, for those with strong emotions. Listen to our conversation with...
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Medical Assistance in Dying – loving someone through the process
Bear Psychology Podcast
Upon receiving a brain tumor diagnosis in 2018, Cynthia Clark’s husband expressed his desire to prioritize the quality of his remaining years over the quantity. His desire was to relish his time with his wife and kids, which ultimately led to his decision to utilize MAID when treatment failed eight months later. After starting a blog to update friends and family about the process, Cynthia began to notice that those going through this same process with a loved one often reported feeling alone and unsupported. This led her to write “The Many Faces of MAID: What to Expect When Someone...
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Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN) impacts your life today
Bear Psychology Podcast
After 20 years in practice, Dr. Jonice Webb noticed the painful struggle of people who grew up in homes where they were emotionally neglected. She identified this neglect as an "invisible factor" that continued to affect adults often leaving them feeling depleted and dissatisfied or what she described as “Running on Empty”. In Dr. Webb’s books “Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect” and “Running On Empty No More: Transform Your Relationships” she shines a light on this invisible force of CEN. She discusses how to bring new tools, strategies and...
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Meditation after Injury and Loss
Bear Psychology Podcast
After years of excellent health as an ultra-marathon runner and athlete and a good life in a stable marriage Katie Arnold’s life flipped from stable to unrecognizable. Arnold experienced a significant injury while on a rafting trip that left her with a broken leg and big life changes. She takes us through her life as an ultra-runner and a “seething but adequate” married woman before the accident. The things she relied on before her accident were ripped away from her leaving her wondering who she really is. After her accident, she sought solace through a Zen meditation...
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Untangle from Toxic People
Bear Psychology Podcast
Growing up with emotionally immature or self-centered parents can mean that your emotional needs were either disregarded or unmet. As a result, you may struggle with feelings of betrayal, abandonment, rage, or loneliness. Although you may work hard to become the person you want to be, your old wounds might re-ignite at any time, especially if your are reminded of vulnerable childhood feelings. Dr. Gibson, is an CEN expert and the author of “Disentangling from Emotionally Immature People: Avoid Emotional Traps, Stand Up for Your Self, and Transform Your Relationships as an Adult Child of...
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Creating Better Relationship Boundaries
Bear Psychology Podcast
If you are interested in learning how to assert yourself in the workplace, navigate tumultuous family dynamics, or establish boundaries in romantic relationships, this show is for you. Boundaries are the invisible lines that define the limits of our emotional and physical space, safeguarding our well-being and preserving our sense of self. Yet, for many, setting and maintaining boundaries can be a daunting task, fraught with uncertainty and discomfort. In her book, "Setting Boundaries That Stick" Juliane Taylor Shore offers a beacon of hope for those seeking to cultivate healthier...
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How your past hurts you today
Bear Psychology Podcast
Relationships rule our inner world. Understanding how you feel and think about your relationships helps you become more accepting and then more peaceful. You can develop an appreciation for other people's perspectives and stop assigning blame on others. Dr. Jacqueline Heller’s book “Yesterday Never Sleeps: How Integrating Life's Current and Past Connections Improves Our Well-Being” draws upon decades of clinical experience to create a powerful and more positive inner narrative. Her unique combination of neuroscience, memoirs of her life as a child of Holocaust survivors, and patient...
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Dangerous People in Powerful places
Bear Psychology Podcast
Disconnected People in positions of power make the world more dangerous for everyone – Bear Psychology Radio hosted by Dr. Anna Baranowsky with guest Dr. Steve Taylor. Disconnected people have the tendency to gravitate toward power. When Disconnected people rule in positions of power societies trend toward patriarchal, hierarchical and warlike. In contrast, societies with connected leaders trend toward egalitarian, democracy and peace. Although most people have a deep need to be connected, life events/upbringing and trauma exposure can interfere in this profound human characteristic....
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Why your coping skills stop working
Bear Psychology Podcast
Experiencing stressful or traumatic experiences during childhood leads us to develop certain coping mechanisms to get us through. While these strategies might have helped us feel secure when younger, they often fail us in adulthood. Richard Brouillette’s book “Your Coping Skills Aren't Working: How to Break Free from the Habits that Once Helped You But Now Hold You Back” offers an evidence-based guide using multiple therapeutic modalities including cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), schema therapy, and attachment theory to help readers leave behind unhelpful coping strategies that keep...
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Muslim Loving Peace and looking to a better future
Bear Psychology Podcast
Raheel Raza, a Muslim Canadian born in Pakistan, migrated to Canada in 1988, has a unique perspective on what is happening right now in the Israel-Hamas war and her reflections on misinformation and what Peace would take. She has visited Israel 13 times in the 16 years. In her National Post Article “I'm a Muslim and I love Israel. Here's why” published in February 2023, Raza details what she has learned about hate and antisemitism, it’s prevalence in Arab Muslim countries, her hope for Peace and the struggles of supporting Israel at this time. Listen to our conversation...
info_outlineAcross North America, almost half of all marriages will end in divorce or separation. Even though divorce is a complex process that requires legal, psychological and financial considerations, there may be ways to make it just a bit less painful. Nanci Smith’s book “Untangling Your Marriage: A Guide to Collaborative Divorce” attempts to dispel some negative messaging about divorce and show us that divorce can be achieved with dignity, mutual respect, integrity, and compassion.
Listen to our conversation with lawyer & author Nanci Smith as we get an introduction to both the mindset and the process of Collaborative Divorce, an interdisciplinary, non-adversarial divorce model. In Collaborative Divorce, Smith how the process provides a guide through emotional issues such as anger, sadness, rage, betrayal, etc. with everyone in the family unit. And, how a neutral financial expert helps to collect, organize, and clearly presents the financial resources of the couple so that there is an even playing field to negotiate the final settlement terms. The lawyers provide legal advice throughout the process without being adversarial, and making a difficult situation, worse.
Nanci Smith is a lawyer and author who began her career in litigation firms focusing on Criminal Litigation and Family Law. She also worked representing victims of domestic violence and people with psychiatric diagnoses in mental health civil proceedings. She is a member of the Vermont Bar Association, is the Chair of the Vermont Bar Association Collaborative Section, and a member of the Collaborative Practice Vermont, an Interdisciplinary Practice Group. Smith has received advanced training in and practices Collaborative Divorce and Collaborative Mediation at her solo practice.
Smith’s book presents a candid and open view of divorce from the viewpoint of an experienced divorce lawyer who has also through a divorce herself. Smith unlocks a collaborative approach to any divorce advising deep listening, invention, flexibility, and the capacity to pivot away from shame and blame and towards acceptance. She identifies these practices to counteract the volatile and complex issues related to divorce.
Listen to our conversation with Nanci Smith as she shows us how to emerge from a divorce, sound and sincere, working through bitterness and resentment. The heart of her approach is to reframe divorce from an act full of shame and blame to a place where divorce is seen as a type of mourning.
Links & Resources:
- For more information about the book visit: https://nancismithlaw.com/book/
- To purchase the book visit: https://amzn.to/3yOgFO2
- For more about Nanci Smith: https://nancismithlaw.com/about-us/about/
- Nanci Smith’s Media Appearances: https://nancismithlaw.com/media/
- Nanci Smith’s Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCU09PQWh0kvj5KLhZWxwGXQ
Materials to Reference:
- To contact Nanci Smith: https://nancismithlaw.com/contact/
- Nanci Smith’s Blog: https://nancismithlaw.com/blog/
- Learn more about potential indicators of divorce: https://bit.ly/3YZPxWK