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Untangling your Marriage

Bear Psychology Podcast

Release Date: 03/31/2023

Why your coping skills stop working show art Why your coping skills stop working

Bear Psychology Podcast

Experiencing stressful or traumatic experiences during childhood leads us to develop certain coping mechanisms to get us through. While these strategies might have helped us feel secure when younger, they often fail us in adulthood. Richard Brouillette’s book “Your Coping Skills Aren't Working: How to Break Free from the Habits that Once Helped You But Now Hold You Back” offers an evidence-based guide using multiple therapeutic modalities including cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), schema therapy, and attachment theory to help readers leave behind unhelpful coping strategies that keep...

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Muslim Loving Peace and looking to a better future show art Muslim Loving Peace and looking to a better future

Bear Psychology Podcast

Raheel Raza, a Muslim Canadian born in Pakistan, migrated to Canada in 1988, has a unique perspective on what is happening right now in the Israel-Hamas war and her reflections on misinformation and what Peace would take.  She has visited Israel 13 times in the 16 years. In her National Post Article “I'm a Muslim and I love Israel. Here's why” published in February 2023, Raza details what she has learned about hate and antisemitism, it’s prevalence in Arab Muslim countries, her hope for Peace and the struggles of supporting Israel at this time. Listen to our conversation...

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Collective & Personal Trauma: one family’s graceful end-of-life story show art Collective & Personal Trauma: one family’s graceful end-of-life story

Bear Psychology Podcast

What does it mean to lose someone so close to you that your world will never be the same? What if this happens when the whole world is locked down during a global Pandemic, a collective trauma?  How do we navigate terrible loss with great compassion and love?  Journalist Mitchell Consky has something important to share with us about this based on personal experience. During the worst of the COVID pandemic, Consky received distressing news.  His father had been given less than two months to live after being diagnosed with a rare terminal cancer. In his book, “Home Safe: A...

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Childhood Emotional Neglect impacts your life today show art Childhood Emotional Neglect impacts your life today

Bear Psychology Podcast

After 20 years in practice, Dr. Jonice Webb noticed the painful struggle of people who grew up in homes where they were emotionally neglected.  She identified this neglect as an "invisible factor" that continued to affect adults often leaving them feeling depleted and dissatisfied or what she described as “Running on Empty”. In Dr. Webb’s books “Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect” and “Running On Empty No More: Transform Your Relationships” she shines a light on this invisible force of CEN.  She discusses how to bring new tools, strategies and...

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Mind, Body and Yoga for Healing Trauma show art Mind, Body and Yoga for Healing Trauma

Bear Psychology Podcast

Recovery from trauma is not simply about healing the mind but about healing the body as well. Often the approach when treating trauma is solely focused on the mental and emotional effects and fails to address the physiological imbalances that trauma leaves behind on our bodies. In Dr. Arielle Schwartz’s newest book “Therapeutic Yoga for Trauma Recovery: Applying the Principles of Polyvagal Theory for Self-Discovery, Embodied Healing, and Meaningful Change”, she guides the reader using yoga practices to help release the burdens of trauma and begin the journey of healing the...

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Healing from Emotional Eating show art Healing from Emotional Eating

Bear Psychology Podcast

Every wonder why you make poor food choices? Have you ever tried a new diet just to end up miserable and eating even more than before? Kim Shapira will help us understand how to put an end to disordered eating habits and improving your health and happiness in the process. Shapira recognizes that unhealthy food habits can occur as a result of life stressors and old patterns of self-soothing.  Her work focuses on getting back on track and using food for health. Kim Shapira, author of “This Is What You’re Really Hungry For”, teaches us how to develop a healthy relationship with our...

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Cultivating Core Creativity show art Cultivating Core Creativity

Bear Psychology Podcast

I know you are creative and innovative at your core. However, most of us just don’t know how to access the deep wealth of creativity that sits inside. Dr. Ronald Alexander’s book “Core Creativity: The Mindful Way to Unlock Your Creative Self” guides you through using mindfulness practices to train your mind so that it more easily opens the portal to core creativity: the unconscious mind. I am really excited about this show as it focuses on opening up to a powerful element of our true nature. Listen to our conversation with psychotherapist & author Dr. Ronald Alexander as...

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Healing the World through Human Connection show art Healing the World through Human Connection

Bear Psychology Podcast

Disconnected people have the tendency to gravitate toward power.  When Disconnected people rule in positions of power societies trend toward patriarchal, hierarchical and warlike. In contrast, societies with connected leaders trend toward egalitarian, democracy and peace. Although most people have a deep need to be connected, life events/upbringing and trauma exposure can interfere in this profound human characteristic.  A person’s “goodness” and capacity for compassion often results from connection, whereas cruelty often originates from a feeling of being cut off from others....

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Finding the courage to truly be yourself show art Finding the courage to truly be yourself

Bear Psychology Podcast

We all want to feel free to be our true selves and live in a way that feel authentic.  I want to live my life to the fullest and I imagine you do as well.  Despite this, we can get sidetracked by demands and expectations that throw us off our true gifts and passions.  Instead we might follow the preferences and aspirations that society, family, and friends have for us, rather than what we truly want for ourselves. Breaking free from self-doubt and discovering what it is that you truly want from life, demands that you grow beyond the obstacles that undermine personal goals, hopes...

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The Dangerous Relationship… loving a Narcissistic, Sociopath or Psychopathic show art The Dangerous Relationship… loving a Narcissistic, Sociopath or Psychopathic

Bear Psychology Podcast

There are times when someone describes in detail a relationship that seems unkind, unhealthy and even dangerous.  Or maybe we have experienced this personally in a relationship with a person we thought would be a wonderful partner to begin with only to realize after falling deeply in love that this person is self-centered, arrogant, attention seeking and lacks basic empathy and consideration for other people. An expert on NPD and psychopaths and the author of “Women Who Love Psychopaths: Inside the Relationships of Inevitable Harm with Psychopaths, Sociopaths & Narcissists”,...

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Across North America, almost half of all marriages will end in divorce or separation. Even though divorce is a complex process that requires legal, psychological and financial considerations, there may be ways to make it just a bit less painful. Nanci Smith’s book “Untangling Your Marriage: A Guide to Collaborative Divorce” attempts to dispel some negative messaging about divorce and show us that divorce can be achieved with dignity, mutual respect, integrity, and compassion.

Listen to our conversation with lawyer & author Nanci Smith as we get an introduction to both the mindset and the process of Collaborative Divorce, an interdisciplinary, non-adversarial divorce model. In Collaborative Divorce, Smith how the process provides a guide through emotional issues such as anger, sadness, rage, betrayal, etc. with everyone in the family unit. And, how a neutral financial expert helps to collect, organize, and clearly presents the financial resources of the couple so that there is an even playing field to negotiate the final settlement terms.  The lawyers provide legal advice throughout the process without being adversarial, and making a difficult situation, worse.

Nanci Smith is a lawyer and author who began her career in litigation firms focusing on Criminal Litigation and Family Law. She also worked representing victims of domestic violence and people with psychiatric diagnoses in mental health civil proceedings. She is a member of the Vermont Bar Association, is the Chair of the Vermont Bar Association Collaborative Section, and a member of the Collaborative Practice Vermont, an Interdisciplinary Practice Group. Smith has received advanced training in and practices Collaborative Divorce and Collaborative Mediation at her solo practice.

Smith’s book presents a candid and open view of divorce from the viewpoint of an experienced divorce lawyer who has also through a divorce herself. Smith unlocks a collaborative approach to any divorce advising deep listening, invention, flexibility, and the capacity to pivot away from shame and blame and towards acceptance. She identifies these practices to counteract the volatile and complex issues related to divorce.

Listen to our conversation with Nanci Smith as she shows us how to emerge from a divorce, sound and sincere, working through bitterness and resentment. The heart of her approach is to reframe divorce from an act full of shame and blame to a place where divorce is seen as a type of mourning.

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