Tamala Floyd: Becoming Our Whole Self – Integrating Our Parts – Part 1

Do you often feel stressed when you watch the news? Do you want to feel at peace, but find yourself getting triggered? How do we manage this? Our guest today is Tamala Floyd, an expert in the Internal Family Systems model of psychotherapy. She discusses “parts” therapy and explains how to be in relationship with our “selves” and our internal guidance systems. Tamala is a psychotherapist, consultant, author, and speaker with more than 20 years of experience. Her books and audio include “Listening When Parts Speak” and “Healing the Wounded Mother.”

She discusses how there is a part inside of us that is untouched. That is the Self. The other parts obscure this. It is when the separate parts come into relationship with each other that we can begin to become whole. When there is trauma, we cope by disassociating and our parts start to separate. They come up with strategies to keep us safe. If we grew up in an abusive household, we become dysfunctional. These previously used coping strategies no longer work.

We can also take on generational trauma, and not even know it. It’s carried in our DNA. We are disconnected from our original ancestor, but it was so important for survival, it continues down the generational line. Tamala talks about the effect of slavery. Her parents were raised in Jim Crow Louisiana. So few opportunities existed, so she was taught you had to be much better and pursue excellence to the point of perfection. There were not enough positions to go around, so you had to be excellent.

How can we find the disenfranchised parts of ourselves? It starts by looking at things that aren’t working. Tamala also explains that we can look at what causes us to be triggered. When those triggers happen, and we get upset, that’s the starting point to find our parts. The first way to get in contact with a part is to see how it shows up. Does your stomach feel tight? Are you sensing your breath change? Our physical body reveals answers. We can be curious about these relationships, then get to a place where we feel the qualities of self.

Tamala explains how what’s left is our true self. She talks about the importance of the “8 Cs.”  The whole self has compassion, curiosity, calm, connectedness, courage, creativity, clarity, and confidence. When we recognize them, we can move toward peace and healing. Info: tamalafloyd.com