Episode 205: Empowering Those Who Stutter, with Nolan Stuttering Foundation President, Brian Nolan

“I'm trying to open stutter more. Because I I've reached a level of of acceptance that I'm proud of, but I'm nowhere near where I need to be. I interview people on podcasts who openly stutter, and I'm so proud of them because they do it without shame and that's the real issue. The real issue is shame, every day, when you stutter.”

Brian Nolan

President and Co-founder, Nolan Stuttering Foundation

 

Have you ever heard someone stutter? If you don’t stutter, it can be uncomfortable to know how to react. Do you try and finish the person’s sentence? Do you look away? Do you simply wait? 

While a non-stutterer may be at a loss, according to Brian Nolan, a life-long stutterer and President of the Nolan Stuttering Foundation, a non-stutterer’s discomfort pales in comparison to the shame, embarrassment and pain of someone who stutters.

As humans, speech is our major means of communication, one we generally take for granted. But as a stutterer, Brian notes, “Especially as a kid, every day you wake up, you think through the lens of someone who stutters and you think about the people you're going to have to see, how you're going to have to talk in class. Am I going to have to read? And you're like, I just have to get by the day, every day.” For those who stutter, the stress of having to plan every moment of a day’s communication seems simply unbearable.

Stuttering isolates individuals, from childhood throughout every experience in life. Having gone through every challenge personally, Brian and his co-founder, Joseph Donaher, created the Nolan Stuttering Foundation (NSF) to help teens and young adults who stutter prepare for major transitions in their lives while persevering through challenges to become the best version of themselves.

Those who don’t stutter can help, too. When encountering someone who stutters, Brian advises we “look, listen, and give the gift of 100% attention.” As Brian says, “We who stutter, we have grit. We who stutter, we have empathy. We who stutter, listen carefully. And we stay in a conversation.” The rest of us can respond in kind.

Here at Brilliantly Resilient, we know that we can find our Brilliance in our challenges, but it’s rarely easy. When we respond to others with patience, empathy and understanding, we can not only help others find their Brilliance, but uncover some gifts of our own.

Tune  in to this week’s podcast to hear more of Brian’s wisdom and be sure to listen for these additional bits of Brilliance:

• Stuttering is a neurological disorder and the part that's miss understood is people think you stutter because you're nervous. Two-thirds of the people who have it, it goes away by the time they are 7 or 8. The 1/3 of the people who get it and it doesn't go away by 7-8, it's not curable. Ever. 

• I'm a public speaker. I talk for a living. If you would have asked me when I was 16 if I was going to do that, I would have said oh, wow. Fact is my dad said, Brian, think about being a computer programmer because you don't have to talk to people. And that was really, really, really, really sad for me. Because you see, I pretended to be an introvert because that meant that I wouldn't have to talk much. 

• People who stutter, they get that look from people who are looking at them like what's wrong with him. And so they they look away…or they finish our sentences. That gives us more shame. 

• I am still so uncomfortable stuttering on this podcast. I will switch a word and you won't even know it because I'm so good at switching words. But there's shame in that, because I can't say the word (I want to use) now. 

• You can actually order something you don't even want. Can I tell you how many times that happens? Yeah. You  order a coffee because you can say coffee and because you don't think the person in front of you is gonna have the patience or you don't want to be embarrassed.

• No one talks about stuttering in families. It's the biggest secret everybody knows about. And maybe if we don't talk about it, it'll go away. And that makes it worse.

• Now my biggest fear is that a young kid is not going to go to college or not apply for a job because they're afraid of the interview process. So now I run workshops for kids who stutter. We practice interview skills, we practice disclosure. This most important thing you could do is to disclose. Hey, it may take me a little longer to get things out because I stutter, but it doesn't mean I don't know my stuff.

• The people who stutter need to stop being covert, and they need to reach out and get involved with one of the many stuttering foundations that are out there like the Nolan stuttering. 

Be sure to check out the Nolan Stuttering Foundation. Let’s be Brilliantly Resilient together!

XO,

Mary Fran