Brilliantly Resilient

What's your train wreck? Everyone has one–past, present, or future. But why do some people come through stronger while others never recover? Hang on for the ride as Mary Fran teaches you to move beyond crisis to discover your Brilliance and Resilience. You'll face challenges with strategies to come through brilliant, not broken, for personal and professional fulfillment and success!

How to Manage--and Change!--Chronic Pain with Pain Reprocessing Therapy and Patty Tashiro 03/04/2025

How to Manage--and Change!--Chronic Pain with Pain Reprocessing Therapy and Patty Tashiro "Acute and chronic pain are processed in different parts of the brain. If you aren't healing and are still in pain, it's possible that your brain has established learned neural pathways that can continue to cause pain, which becomes chronic." Patty Tashiro ~ Is your brain keeping you in pain? The emotional responses we have to trauma--which often stay with us--can trigger the brain to continue to send a physical pain response in our bodies. Huh? Isn't pain caused by a physical issue in the body? Well, yes. Unless it isn't. Patty Tashiro experienced a mother's nightmare when her daughter and her husband were rear-ended by a speeding car--and Patty, on the phone with her daughter, heard the whole thing. Patty's daughter, 10 at the time, had a severe brain bleed, but miraculously survived her injuries. Yet, despite her body healing from obvious physical injury, Patty's daughter continued to suffer from debilitating pain, confounding doctors. Finding no help from traditional physicians (One doctor told Patty that if her daughter "wasn't barfing, she should be in school,") Patty began researching and discovered Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy, which utilizes the brain's ability to "rewire" itself (neuroplasticity) to help those suffering to reprocess trauma and reduce the brain's reaction--thus lessening chronic pain. Patty continued exploring similar options and is now certified in brain health coaching and Pain Reprocessing Therapy. Clearly, seeking alternative help for her daughter required Patty to change her thinking and be willing to look at things differently. Here at Brilliantly Reseilient, we refer to seeing the world through a different "lens," being open to new ideas, experiences and opportunities to grow--and heal. To learn more, visit and tune in to this week's episode of the for these additional bits of wisdom: What is the brain's role in perpetuating pain? Our nervous systems are completely different depending on our life experiences.... How is your nervous system working--for you or against you? The brain is misreading friendly signals as danger, which can cause us to "learn" chronic pain over time. Neural pathways can create pain that becomes chronic. Your emotions or trauma can create physical pain in your body. If you are not healing, you may have moved into chronic pain. Your brain is misreading chronic signals as bad and perpetuating pain. Neuroplastic pain can be malleable. It can be changed. So how can we train our brain to feel safe? You are worth healing. If you're lying in your bed in pain, you're not able to share your gifts, and we need you! You can heal. And you can become Brilliantly Resilient. Let's be Brilliantly Resilient together! XO, Mary Fran /episode/index/show/brilliantlyresilient/id/35534070

Episode 213: How to Expand Diversity and Inclusion to Include Everyone, with Toby Mildon 02/11/2025

Episode 213: How to Expand Diversity and Inclusion to Include Everyone, with Toby Mildon "There is diversity within diversity itself. Even people with shared disabilities have different experiences. We are all diverse. Diversity includes everyone." ~ Toby Mildon, Author of Inclusive Growth: Future-proof Your Business by Creating a Diverse Workspace, and Building Inclusivity: Making Your Workplace Equitable, Diverse and Inclusive How many people in the world are exactly like you? EXACTLY like you, no differences. The answer is no one. Every single person, because of countless factors including genetics, personal experiences, education, inherent skills--the list is endless--is unique. Toby Mildon, author and DEI expert, notes that when we broaden our definition of diversity to include everyone's unique skills and circumstances, and provide access in our workplaces for all to succeed, we "can increase creativity and innovation and problem solving because you have people with different perspectives and experiences." A wheelchair user for his entire life, Toby notes his personal experience with diversity, but also suggests that we must begin to think about other, less obvious aspects of diversity. Toby suggests that one of the keys to making DEI all-inclusive is finding commonalities and synergies between different groups. Toby says: "When we stop labeling groups and identifying them by a particular issue and realize everyone has the issue to some degree, implementing changes can benefit everyone in an organization," --a unifying benefit of DEI that uplifts the entire organization. At Brilliantly Resilient, we recognize the benefits of diversity and inclusion, both on a large scale and within our own lives. Seeking out others with different experiences, perspectives and talents helps us learn, grow and evolve--a key to living a Brilliantly Resilient life. Learn more about Toby on , and find Tune in for more of Toby's wisdom on this week's episode of the Brilliantly Resilient podcast, and be sure to listen for these additional bits of Brilliance: I've been on a Diversity and Inclusion journey myself. I've been a wheelchair user all my life. I have personal experience with diversity.... We have to be thinking about other aspects of diversity. Individuals are individuals. Everyone has their different starting points. You need to provide personalized adjustments and ways of working to level the playing field. When we stop labeling groups and identifying them by a particular issue and realize everyone has the issue to some degree, implementing changes can benefit everyone in an organization. If we take a social model of thinking into the workplace, we can ask ourselves what are the barriers people are facing? What roadblocks are in the way of people succeeding? We need to address those issues.... It's access to opportunities. When you recognize that the adversity that has kept people out is also what has allowed them to develop the skills that will bring value to the organization, we realize we need to even further expand our idea of diversity. You need to swiftly engage the senior management team and get them crystal clear on why DEI is important to the future of THEIR business.... Start with the organization's vision and mission and then move on to see how DEI will help them grow. A diverse workforce can increase creativity, innovation and problem solving because you have people with different perspectives and experiences. If people are too similar, you end up with "Group Think" and blind spots. Are we creating the environment of inclusion in companies where everyone can thrive? As an employer, you have a unique place in society to create a ripple effect. If you create an inclusive place to work where individuals can thrive, you can also affect society. It all starts with the opportunity to go to work and earn a living. Let's be Brilliantly Resilient together! XO, Mary Fran /episode/index/show/brilliantlyresilient/id/35192815

Episode 212: Advocating for Kids Without "a Voice," with TeamChild's Christina Sorenson 01/28/2025

Episode 212: Advocating for Kids Without "a Voice," with TeamChild's Christina Sorenson The Maasai tribe of Africa greets one another by saying "How are the children?" We have to recognize that all the children in our community are our children. Christina Sorenson Attorney and Advocate for Foster Children at Christina Sorenson was in 15 different foster care homes from ages five to fifteen. Separated from her sister and eventually adopted at age fifteen, Christina has made it her life's work to provide legal and supportive aid for children and young adults in foster care. An attorney at in Seattle, WA, Christina has thoughtfully incorporated her own life experiences into her mission, bringing compassion, empathy and insights into the struggles of those in a foster system that frequently denies them a voice. Being a "foster kid" is often deeply traumatic, and this trauma can have a lasting effect, especially on a child. According to Christina, statistics show that kids in foster care experience PTSD at twice the rate of veterans who served in active combat. Having little to no personal agency to fight for themselves, kids in foster care can be further traumatized and therefore must rely on others to step in to advocate for them. Creating a supportive tribe is one of the bedrocks of living a Brilliantly Resilient life. As adults, we can cultivate relationships on our own, but it is our personal responsibility to assist and protect the young people in our communities who may have no one to help their voices be heard. Community engagement is essential to healthy lives both as individuals and as part of a group. One of the simplest ways to engage, according to Christina, is to become an empathetic listener and respect the voices of our children, thus becoming part of the solution. Tune into this week's episode of the Brilliantly Resilient podcast to learn more about Christina's important work and for tips about how to get involved. Be sure to listen for these additional bits of Christina's Brilliance: Integrating it (my experience) into my identiy now as a part of who I am is exactly how I can bring that lived experience and perspective and empathy...it allows me to listen to others and their experiences in a different way. I try to bring in the general public by story telling. I thought I could do it through the science and the research, but nothing changed. I had to figure out how to do it and it's through telling the stories of these kids. The number one way to make sure a child will have resilience or succeed is if there is someone who deeply cares about them. And it doesn't have to be the same person all of the time. I remember at different times different people deeply caring about me. Resiliency does require community action. I needed the safety net of a community because as a child, sometimes the step you take is right off a cliff. We want resiliency to have a destination but we have to realize it is an ongoing journey. We need to give children the space to talk about the things happening to them and laying a foundation of trust. And we need to affirm their reality and what's happening in their lives. Reach out to Christina at: . Let's be Brilliantly Resilient together! XO, Mary Fran /episode/index/show/brilliantlyresilient/id/35030730

Episode 211: How to Live with a "Pilgrim's Heart" with Christine Eberle 01/14/2025

Episode 211: How to Live with a "Pilgrim's Heart" with Christine Eberle "Be where you are on the way to where you want to be going." ~ Christine Eberle, Author: "Be where you are on the way to where you want to be going." Um...huh? The above sounds like a riddle, doesn't it? Then again, isn't life a kind of riddle we try to figure out every day? Christine Eberle, author of , decided to seek clarity in answering life's riddle by undertaking a journey--literally and figuratively--as she and her husband walked the Camino of St. Ignatius Loyola in 2022. For the uninitiated, the Camino (there are two--one of St. James and one of St. Ignatius), is a walking pilgrimage along the paths travelled by the saints as they experienced their conversions and deepened their relationship with God. In modern times, walking the Camino is a journey of discovery and peace undertaken by those seeking the same. Those who travel the Camino consider themselves pilgrims--traveling the journey for spiritual growth and learning. Often, more human connections are formed as well, as Christine discovered. Undertaking the 676,000 step trek (with accompanying pain every day), Christine wanted to learn to live life "with a pilgrim's heart," meaning "We have a destination, and the destination is fixed, but we are very present to where we are in the given moment," Christine explains. In Brilliantly Resilient terms, this translates to several core concepts: Do not be married to outcomes, and let go of what "should be" to make room for what "could be." As we plan our life journeys and our desired outcomes, we must be willing to evolve. Do what you have to do but be willing to let the moments evolve as you move, perhaps slowly, towards where you want to be. Christine found some of her most moving experiences were with those who helped her in her vulnerable moments during the days she was forced to rest--not part of her plan. As we walk into 2025, consider your own journey with intention. Determine your destination, but allow for growth and change--and perhaps open yourself to some spiritual guidance along the way. Learn more about Christine Eberle , , and be sure to tune into this week's podcast and listen for these additional bits of Brilliance: It's being fixed. Having your destination fixed, but also being very present to exactly where you are. The goal in pilgrimage is to be where you are on the way to where you know your want to be going. We shouldn't fix our desires on (our definitions of success) or failure. Instead of fixing our desires, even those should float freely because our free floating desires can reveal God's deep desires for us. Of all the hopes and imaginings that preceded what is (currently) happening, open yourself to the grace that's being offered through the reality of what is (currently) happening. There is grace in the blisters. So there is a beauty in vulnerability that can allow us to grow if we will recognize that it's not a failure. (MF) Let's be Brilliantly Resilient together! XO, Mary Fran /episode/index/show/brilliantlyresilient/id/34767180

Episode 210: How to "Be Better" in 2025, with Mary Fran Bontempo 12/31/2024

Episode 210: How to "Be Better" in 2025, with Mary Fran Bontempo I came down to those two words. Be better. I think if we can boil it down to something, 'Be better' might be the most that we should be asking of ourselves. ~ Mary Fran Bontempo, Author It's 2025. How are you feeling about that? I find the time right after Christmas to be a bit challenging. After a month of being jolly buying, planning, decorating, eating, drinking, visiting with family and friends, suddenly it's over. And sure, New Year's Eve is fun, but it's also accompanied by that feeling of 'Oh my God, now I have to improve myself again.' Enter the dreaded New Year's Resolution. I've never been a fan of New Year's Resolutions (caps to emphasize the IMPORTANCE of them!). Usually, we end up expecting gargantuan feats of ourselves that we would never ask of anyone else--often dooming us to failure. Given that I'm at an age where I'm tempted to dismiss the whole thing, I'd like to, but I can't. I'm committed to living a Brilliantly Resilient life. Quitting entirely is not in the game plan. However, I do believe we must be more gentle with ourselves, in all of our human frailty. To that end, I've settled on two words for my 2025 resolution: Be Better. By simply resolving to be better, I'm afforded endless opportunities each day to improve in small ways, which bundled together, can create profound change. Each time I attempt to be better, I am living the Brilliantly Resilient concept of taking small, imperfect actions to move forward. So much easier and more life-affirming than trying to remake myself, which, let's be honest, isn't going to happen. (I will, however, try to be better when driving behind some soul who seems to have forgotten where the gas pedal is. Patience is not my strong suit.) As we enter 2025, be kinder to yourself, and resolve to Be Better. It's doable, and will create wins in every day. And do more that makes you happy. We all deserve that. Finally, thank you with sincere gratitude for your support of me and Brilliantly Resilient. It means more than I can say to share this powerful message for good and I am beyond appreciative. Tune in to hear more brilliance (yes, mine--remember to pat yourself on the back regularly, too!) on and check out for a great start to 2025. For me the time right after Christmas is a little bit hard. We've been so jolly and spirited for a month with buying and planning and family and friends and cooking and the lights and everything else, and then all of a sudden it's over. And sure, New Year's Eve is fun. But it's also accompanied by that feeling of 'Oh my God, now I have to improve myself again.' If we can be a little bit better every time we catch ourselves doing something that we don't like about ourselves...we can decide that's not the way we want to live. Mindfulness means being where you are. Be in that moment and just in that moment, try to be better. Come up with little short questions. Am I being better right now? Is this what I really want for myself right now? Am I here where I am right now? Be here and be better, instead of thinking about remaking yourself. Look back through your calendar of the last year. And review that. See the events that you went to see the things that you did and look at the ones that really made you happy. (Thank you, Fran Hauser!) I hope you all had a fantastic holiday season. I hope that the new year is full of light and joy and love and purpose and health and happiness for all of us. As we enter 2025, I thank you again and wish you every joy and blessing. Let's be Brilliantly Resilient together! XO, Mary Fran Mary Fran Bontempo is an award-winning 2-time TEDx and Keynote speaker, workshop presenter, author, humorist and podcast host who teaches audiences to uncover their Brilliance and Resilience 15 minutes at a time. A sought-after speaker for ERGs, BRGs, DEI, conference and association events, Mary Fran is author of and co-founder of the life-changing program Brilliantly Resilient. To bring Mary Fran to your company or organization, visit /episode/index/show/brilliantlyresilient/id/34675050

Episode 209: Mindfulness and Honoring the Pause with Shawnta Hooks 12/18/2024

Episode 209: Mindfulness and Honoring the Pause with Shawnta Hooks "I needed to embark on a journey to reclaim my connection, both personally and professionally." Shawnta Hooks ~ Leading Belonging and Mindfulness Speaker. Shawnta Hooks was never a believer in meditation or mindfulness. Working in accounting and corporate compliance during her 20 year corporate career, Shawnta found herself in a toxic work environment after a company reorganization, feeling completely disconnected, unseen and unheard. Her first instinct was to lay blame on the company, until she realized it wasn't entirely her work environment that was causing her challenges. Having just lost her father and become a new mom, Shawnta realized that she was not only disconnected from her work, she was disconnected from herself. Aware of a "crushing pressure to contatntly perform," both professionally an personally, Shawnta realized she had some work to do, and set out to learn how to reconnect to her world. Her search led her to meditation and mindfulness, and "honoring the pause"--that moment of neutrality between our thoughts and actions, when we can more accurately assess our feelings and behaviors. Now a leading authority in building connection and mindfulness in corporate America, Shawnta notes that while words like mindfulness and authenticity may not seem to fit into business, many organizations are embracing the opportunity to help their employees find connection through mindfulness, or as Shawnta notes, "Paying attention to the present moment, on purpose, without judgement." Being Brilliantly Resilient requires checking our perceptions and telling ourselves the truth, which fits well with Shawnta's advice. During this hectic time of year, consider beginning a meditation practice, even of only a few minutes a day. Seek mindfulness and neutrality, avoiding judgements (especially as emotions run high around the holidays.) to hear more of Shawnta's Brilliance. Visit her website at and be sure to listen for these additional bits of Brilliance: There is a huge impact that moments of calm can have on your productivity, on your focus, on your ability to operate at peak performance. When employees feel more connected to their environments, they produce greater results and one way that you can get employees to feel connected to their environment is to help them learn how to be connected to the present moment. Belonging requires connection and you can't do that if you stay in your own little box. For me, belonging is really when you, as an individual feel heard and supported in your environment. Just because you think a thought doesn't mean you have to believe it. This is about honoring your emotions. Emotions are clues. By not honoring that, you're missing an opportunity to connect with another. Let's be Brilliantly Resilient together! XO, Mary Fran /episode/index/show/brilliantlyresilient/id/34520925

Episode 208: New Book! From Broken to Brilliant: How to Live a Brilliantly Resilient Life, with Mary Fran Bontempo 12/04/2024

Episode 208: New Book! From Broken to Brilliant: How to Live a Brilliantly Resilient Life, with Mary Fran Bontempo You have everything in you already to live a Brilliantly Resilient life. You have Resilience and you have your own personal Brilliance. It's already there. You were born with both of those things. ~ Mary Fran Bontempo, Author, From Broken to Brilliant: How to Live a Brilliantly Resilient Life Have you uncovered your Resilience yet? Since Covid, we’ve been reminded constantly about the need for resilience, as though every day, we must gird for battle before we wander into the unknown terrors of the world. Truthfully, that scenario doesn’t seem that far-fetched anymore. If you’ve followed Brilliantly Resilient for any amount of time, you know I believe that life can hit hard, and unexpectedly. Almost everyone can offer a story to back that up. The good news is that we already have everything we need within us to not only navigate life’s challenges with Resilience, but we can discover our Brilliance within those challenges as well. My new book, , provides a roadmap to learn how to Reset with Resilience, Rise through challenges, and Reveal your Brilliance—a Brilliance that shows itself when it feels like things can’t get much worse. As I come up on the five-year anniversary of the founding of Brilliantly Resilient, I’m more convinced than ever that the simple steps in the Reset, Rise and Reveal process can guide anyone through rough times, and provide the light we need to move forward. The book contains not only my thoughts, but the generously shared wit and wisdom provided by over 30 Brilliantly Resilient podcast guests, who, in their own words, affirm that a Brilliantly Resilient life can be ours if we live with intention. In addition to much shared wisdom, the book offers some thought-provoking questions at the end of each chapter—for you to navigate YOUR challenges. Because yes, this is all about YOU. From Broken to Brilliant is now available on , and makes a perfect holiday gift. Check out this podcast for more info, or head over to or . And be sure to listen for these additional bits of Brilliance (if I do say so myself!!!) This book is the road map. It gives you steps that are so simple and easy and what you're going to realize is that you're already doing this stuff. You're already doing it, you just have to be intentional about it. Recognize that you're doing it (being Brilliantly Resilient) and build that foundation from that. When we experience a big crisis, we want a big solution. Unfortunately, that doesn't happen. You don't get the big solution with a big crisis. A crisis is solved by small, imperfect action steps. Failure becomes associated with shame, and we forget that failure is part of resilience. You have to try things. You have to get up and try them again. But when we associate failure with shame, then we don't try. And that's when we forget that we have this inborn resilience. There’s no judgment about what your crisis or your challenges are. There's no judgment because it's yours. Everything that you're going through refers back to you. Don't compare yourself to anyone else. It's your crisis. The reset with resilience encompasses 3 things. It encompasses your values. It encompasses your perception or your perspective, and it encompasses controlling the controllables. Build your tribe. You can't be brilliantly resilient in a vacuum. You need to access your tribe. Taking imperfect action means you are willing to recognize that the actions not perfect, and guess what? The outcome is not probably going to be. Buy the book and do let me know what you think. Let’s be Brilliantly Resilient together! Best, Mary Fran /episode/index/show/brilliantlyresilient/id/34291195

Episode 207: Finding the Brilliance and Resilience in Generational Relationships with "Gentelligence" Author, Dr. Megan Gerhardt 10/22/2024

Episode 207: Finding the Brilliance and Resilience in Generational Relationships with "Gentelligence" Author, Dr. Megan Gerhardt Let's have smarter intergenerational conversations. Let's be OK and not threatened by the fact that you see this differently than me. Let's figure out why and how that could actually be helpful and beneficial. Dr. Megan Gerhardt Author of Do you work with people of different generations? Do you live with people of different generations? Do you have public contact with people of different generations? Unless you live alone on an island, the answer to at least one, if not all, of these questions is yes. And in your interactions with those of different generations, it’s almost certain that you’ve experienced some form generational conflict. Dr. Megan Gerhardt is a Professor of Management and Leadership at the Farmer School of Business at Miami University, and the author of As an expert in generational differences, Dr. Gerhardt teaches individuals and corporations simple, effective strategies for not only bridging the generation gap, but encouraging all generations to bring their particular resilience and brilliance to create connection and build respect. According to Dr. Gerhardt, the best way to build connections is by asking respectful questions. The best question to ask? “Can you help me understand?” By phrasing the question in a non-judgmental way, Dr. Gerhardt says, “I'm signaling that what you're doing is not making sense to me, but I'm acknowledging it might in part be my understanding of what's going on. And I would love to get to a different place.” Given that every generation brings their own skills, knowledge and perspective to the table, respect and inclusivity can result in more understanding and better solutions to problems, especially when everyone brings their own experiences, resilience and brilliance along. For more on Gentelligence, tune into this week’s episode of the Brilliantly Resilient podcast, order the book, and look for these additional bits of Brilliance: I am a organizational psychologist really by training. So my nature is to always be curious about people, why they do what they do, how do we help them leverage what's unique about them in order to help them do work they care about and add value. How do we change the narrative so that instead of shaming people for being born in a different generation…they're starting their career at a different time. We are really trying to learn from those complementary experiences and kinds of expertise and we're taking advantage of it. Every few years there's an article that comes out saying, let’s stop putting people in generational categories…I don't think that's the answer…. It's better than being biased against people because of their age or their generation, but then you're ignoring all of that wonderful, very valid difference that comes with growing up and starting your career during a different period of time and a different period in history. And that's real. Let's have smarter intergenerational conversations. Let's be OK and not threatened by the fact that you see this differently than me. Let's figure out why and how that could actually be helpful and beneficial. If I ask you a question and that feels very respectful. I'm not assuming I'm not judging, I'm asking because I'm interested. You're worth it. I think there's something of value there that I want to engage with. And then there's learning and hopefully that's reciprocated. Is there a question that works universally? Absolutely. My favorite one…is “Can you help me understand?” I'm signaling that what you're doing is not making sense to me, but I'm acknowledging it might in part be my understanding of what's going on. And I would love to get to a different place. Let’s be Brilliantly Resilient together! XO, Mary Fran /episode/index/show/brilliantlyresilient/id/33514987

Episode 206: How to Mourn the Loss of a Sibling with Annie Orenstein, Author of Always a Sibling: The Forgotten Mourners Guide to Grief 10/08/2024

Episode 206: How to Mourn the Loss of a Sibling with Annie Orenstein, Author of Always a Sibling: The Forgotten Mourners Guide to Grief No one checks in on them, right? They often delay their own grief, put off their own mourning in order to support their parents and step up. But then? They remain there and they never really get a turn to express their own grief, or to be the mourner in the room. Annie Orenstein ~ Author of Do you have a sibling? Most of us do. And according to author, Annie Orenstein, as children, we often spend more time with our siblings than with our parents. Yet as we grow, our sibling relationships are pushed to the background as we form other adult relationships in our lives. So what do you do when a sibling dies? In her new book, Annie recognizes the painful, difficult role of a remaining sibling when losing a brother or sister. Our siblings are the only true witnesses to so much of our childhoods and who, “understand the workings of our families.” If the sibling dies before parents, grieving is even more fraught as the remaining sibling feels the need to lessen the parents’ burden. Further, the death of a sibling is often met with the question, “Were you close?” as though the answer allows the degree of acceptable mourning. Annie notes that the simplest gift we can give someone who has lost a sibling is to ask, “What was their name?” to allow the sharing of memories. Annie recognized the need to address such questions when finding little to guide her through the loss of her own brother. As she explores the stages of grief, she breaks down experiences in sections noting life with, without, and finally within, as she met both her grief and her joy in life with her sibling in this poignant and funny (yes, funny!) read. Such fundamental change is a part of life, but knowing that doesn’t make it easier. Part of living a Brilliantly Resilient life is facing such challenges and finding the way through that’s best for you, regardless of “what’s expected.” For more of Annie’s wisdom, tune into this week’s episode of the Brilliantly Resilient podcast, and be sure to listen for these additional bits of Brilliance: Siblings should be naturally our longest shared relationship because we meet them before we meet our partners and if things go naturally, our relationship continues after the loss of our parents. Statistics show that in childhood, siblings spend more time together than with their parents. We shared our childhood with these people. They are in many instances the only other people who remember our childhood and who understand the inner workings of our family, who understand our parents, for good, bad, or ugly., It is terrifying to see your parents lose a child and to see that kind of deep grief. And it's known as a double loss because you really do lose your parents to some extent in that loss, because they're never the same. Someone will ask how your parents are doing but not ask how you're doing. They are really well meaning, but what you take away is, ‘Oh. were we close enough that I'm allowed to grieve? Am I? Why is no one asking if I'm OK? I guess I'm supposed to be. The simplest question you can ask someone who has lost a sibling is, ‘What was their name?’ You don’t get to say their name anymore. It feels good to say their name again. Ask how they lived, not how they died. Be sure to buy Annie's wonderful book, and let’s be Brilliantly Resilient together! XO, Mary Fran /episode/index/show/brilliantlyresilient/id/33376422

Episode 205: Empowering Those Who Stutter, with Nolan Stuttering Foundation President, Brian Nolan 09/24/2024

Episode 205: Empowering Those Who Stutter, with Nolan Stuttering Foundation President, Brian Nolan “I'm trying to open stutter more. Because I I've reached a level of of acceptance that I'm proud of, but I'm nowhere near where I need to be. I interview people on podcasts who openly stutter, and I'm so proud of them because they do it without shame and that's the real issue. The real issue is shame, every day, when you stutter.” Brian Nolan President and Co-founder, Have you ever heard someone stutter? If you don’t stutter, it can be uncomfortable to know how to react. Do you try and finish the person’s sentence? Do you look away? Do you simply wait? While a non-stutterer may be at a loss, according to Brian Nolan, a life-long stutterer and President of the Nolan Stuttering Foundation, a non-stutterer’s discomfort pales in comparison to the shame, embarrassment and pain of someone who stutters. As humans, speech is our major means of communication, one we generally take for granted. But as a stutterer, Brian notes, “Especially as a kid, every day you wake up, you think through the lens of someone who stutters and you think about the people you're going to have to see, how you're going to have to talk in class. Am I going to have to read? And you're like, I just have to get by the day, every day.” For those who stutter, the stress of having to plan every moment of a day’s communication seems simply unbearable. Stuttering isolates individuals, from childhood throughout every experience in life. Having gone through every challenge personally, Brian and his co-founder, Joseph Donaher, created the Nolan Stuttering Foundation (NSF) to help teens and young adults who stutter prepare for major transitions in their lives while persevering through challenges to become the best version of themselves. Those who don’t stutter can help, too. When encountering someone who stutters, Brian advises we “look, listen, and give the gift of 100% attention.” As Brian says, “We who stutter, we have grit. We who stutter, we have empathy. We who stutter, listen carefully. And we stay in a conversation.” The rest of us can respond in kind. Here at Brilliantly Resilient, we know that we can find our Brilliance in our challenges, but it’s rarely easy. When we respond to others with patience, empathy and understanding, we can not only help others find their Brilliance, but uncover some gifts of our own. Tune in to this week’s podcast to hear more of Brian’s wisdom and be sure to listen for these additional bits of Brilliance: Stuttering is a neurological disorder and the part that's miss understood is people think you stutter because you're nervous. Two-thirds of the people who have it, it goes away by the time they are 7 or 8. The 1/3 of the people who get it and it doesn't go away by 7-8, it's not curable. Ever. I'm a public speaker. I talk for a living. If you would have asked me when I was 16 if I was going to do that, I would have said oh, wow. Fact is my dad said, Brian, think about being a computer programmer because you don't have to talk to people. And that was really, really, really, really sad for me. Because you see, I pretended to be an introvert because that meant that I wouldn't have to talk much. People who stutter, they get that look from people who are looking at them like what's wrong with him. And so they they look away…or they finish our sentences. That gives us more shame. I am still so uncomfortable stuttering on this podcast. I will switch a word and you won't even know it because I'm so good at switching words. But there's shame in that, because I can't say the word (I want to use) now. You can actually order something you don't even want. Can I tell you how many times that happens? Yeah. You order a coffee because you can say coffee and because you don't think the person in front of you is gonna have the patience or you don't want to be embarrassed. No one talks about stuttering in families. It's the biggest secret everybody knows about. And maybe if we don't talk about it, it'll go away. And that makes it worse. Now my biggest fear is that a young kid is not going to go to college or not apply for a job because they're afraid of the interview process. So now I run workshops for kids who stutter. We practice interview skills, we practice disclosure. This most important thing you could do is to disclose. Hey, it may take me a little longer to get things out because I stutter, but it doesn't mean I don't know my stuff. The people who stutter need to stop being covert, and they need to reach out and get involved with one of the many stuttering foundations that are out there like the Nolan stuttering. Be sure to check out the . Let’s be Brilliantly Resilient together! XO, Mary Fran /episode/index/show/brilliantlyresilient/id/33178952

Episode 204: How to Love Yourself, with Best-Selling Author (And Ellen DeGeneres Favorite!) Rachel Madorsky 09/10/2024

Episode 204: How to Love Yourself, with Best-Selling Author (And Ellen DeGeneres Favorite!) Rachel Madorsky “Here’s the myth I want to break: that self-love is selfish. The more we love ourselves, the less attention we have on ourselves and the more generous we become in a very natural, easy, relaxed way.” ~ Rachel Madorsky Do you love yourself? Does even reading the question make you uncomfortable? And if it does, why? If you squirmed a little reading the above, you’re not alone. Most of us will gladly think about those we love and share that with others. But ask us about self-love? Yikes. Rachel Madorsky is a psychotherapist, executive coach, speaker and best-selling author of the book (A short, delightful read that was featured in Ellen DeGeneres’ first ever 12 Days at Home Holiday Box in November, 2023!) After battling with depression, Rachel experienced a turning point when a fellow student in a personal growth course turned to her and said, “All of this would get better if you would love yourself.” As Rachel notes, “In that moment I felt like someone just gave me the cure, and at the same time I wanted to say what does that mean? It’s an easy thing to say but no one tells us what it means or how to do it.” On this episode of the Brilliantly Resilient podcast, Rachel dispels many misconceptions about self-love, most notably that far from being selfish or self-indulgent, self-love frees us from negative focus on ourselves and gives us more time and ease to love and be generous with others. She also makes a topic which many find uncomfortable, unthreatening and accessible. Here at Brilliantly Resilient, we don’t shy away from tough topics, and self-love fits the bill. Rachel advises regularly asking “What is the most loving thing I can do for myself right now?” Fortunately, the answer needn’t involve huge steps. Even the smallest step towards self-love and self-care can change the trajectory of a life. As Rachel notes, “Small hinges swing big doors.” Tune in to this week’s podcast to hear more of Rachel’s wisdom and be sure to listen for these additional bits of Brilliance: When we ask a question of ourselves and we listen to the answer and we say yes and do the thing, we are building self-trust at a whole new level…. No one can actually give us the things we need most better than ourselves. We think that being hard on ourselves is the thing that will make us better. But the more forgiving, and loving and generous we are with ourselves, the faster the healing, the more we’re capable of giving, the more we’re capable of receiving. It’s important to forgive ourselves and say “I was so human in that moment.” We think we are being so loving and forgiving to everyone else, but another truth is we can only take someone as far as we are willing to go. So if we start giving from the overflow (of our own love) rather than our own depletion, it’s a higher quality of care for others. Everyone is always worthy of more love. Open the door for more love. You can exponentially expand your ability to give and love, and giving and receiving is a circle. The more we actually allow ourselves to receive the more we have to give. There is a distinction between taking and receiving. Receiving makes you feel satisfied. Small hinges swing big doors. If we were in a boat or a plane and we changed direction by only 2 percent,we would end up on a different continent. A very small action repeated can change the trajectory of our life. Any place we can add more sweetness with the intention of growing our self-love knowing it will grow love for others is a life changer. Be sure to find Rachel on her website and social media: The Book: Let’s be Brilliantly Resilient together! XO, Mary Fran /episode/index/show/brilliantlyresilient/id/32950237

Episode 203: Adaptive, Sensory-Friendly Clothing for Kids with "Sense-ational You" Founder Julia DeNey! 08/21/2024

Episode 203: Adaptive, Sensory-Friendly Clothing for Kids with "Sense-ational You" Founder Julia DeNey! I led an independent study on making adaptive clothing for autistic children in partnership with a preschool….I couldn’t get a job during Covid so I started working in special education and trying to figure out how to turn the study into a brand. I could see how these kids were really struggling with things and how we could add sensory tools to clothing to help these kids throughout their days. ~Julia DeNey, Founder "Sense-ational You" Clothing Have you ever had a tag rub against your neck in your clothing? The sensation is irritating, to say the least. But to a neurodivergent child with a sensory disorder, the feeling can be like a knife cutting the skin, sending the child into sensory overload and causing major challenges to just making it through the day. Julia DeNey graduated from Cornell University with a B.S. in Fashion Design in 2020. During her college years, Julia also established and ran a volunteer organization in partnership with an area preschool for autistic children. After hearing the concerns of both teachers and parents, Julia began to think about using her fashion degree to design clothes to empower special needs children and help them navigate their world. As Julia explains it, neurodivergent kids experience the world differently. That can mean anything from autism, to ADHA, to sensory processing orders and beyond. Sometimes, sensory overload means exactly that—a child cannot process one additional sensation and loses control. Julia wanted to create clothing with tools built into it to help kids manage their reactions and emotions, allowing them to feel in control in a world that can easily overwhelm them. She says, “I wanted this fashion to be used to not only make the clothes more stylish, but more useful for their needs.We have a hoodie with built in sound reduction and an eye mask for a sensory avoider and an adjustable sensory compression vest for sensory seekers. The kids can have their own little sensory break just with what they’re wearing.“ Here at Brilliantly Resilient, we know that when we combine our inherent talents with learned skills and then stir in some passion, Brilliance is born, and is a perfect example. Tune in to this week’s episode of the Brilliantly Resilient podcast to hear more of Julia’s strategies to build resilience in neurodivergent kids and listen for these additional Bits of Brilliance: Adaptive clothing is clothing that’s specifically designed for people who have different disabilities and needs so that clothing is more accessible to them. They can put the clothing on themselves and it’s more comfortable. When people don’t recognize that others may experience things differently, those sensory needs are often categorized as being difficult, or dramatic, or they just need to get over it or they’re spoiled and you’re catering to them too much. That’s where the education comes in because it’s not a little thing to them. Their cup of sensory input is full and they just can’t handle it anymore. To say just learn to deal with it isn’t the answer because it’s not always the (same thing), it’s whatever makes their cup overflow in that moment. For kids who have sensitivities, it feels like a tag can be cutting into them. We can’t compare what we experience to what they are experiencing…. Our clothing is sensory friendly. There are no tags and all of the seams are flat, so nothing rubs against you. We also added additional sensory tools into the clothing, whether they are a sensory avoider or a sensory seeker. Having some of these tools in the clothing itself means it’s one less thing for parents to remember to carry around because parents never have enough hands. The tee shirt I designed has compression built into it if the child needs it. Allowing kids to have some control is incredibly empowering and really comforting and eases a lot of anxiety. They think -- Well if I have this garment on I know that I”ll be able to control what I’m experiencing -- to a degree. The ability to dress and undress yourself can be really hard for special needs kids. That’s why we have magnetic closures and elastic waistbands…it allows kids to gain that skill and work on their fine motor skills…and allows more convenience and independence in dressing. It’s so important to talk about this (special needs and neurodiversity) and normalize this so that future generations understand it. These clothes help to create more universal acceptance of these differences. Follow Julia via the links below, and Let’s be Brilliantly Resilient together! Website Link: Instagram Link: Facebook Link: XO, Mary Fran /episode/index/show/brilliantlyresilient/id/32684952

Episode 202: How to Create Your Own "Order of Things" with Author Sarah Gormley 07/30/2024

Episode 202: How to Create Your Own "Order of Things" with Author Sarah Gormley I’m a gold star chaser…. If you just give the right answer, everybody’s happy. I started this pattern of doing what my parents and the world wanted. It took me a long time to figure out there’s another way…. The gold stars make it really easy to ignore your gut. Sarah Gormley Author of The Order of Things Have you ever done something not because you wanted to, but because you thought you were “supposed” to? From the time we’re young, we learn what we’re “supposed” to do. Behave, answer the test questions correctly, make the right choices. But what if the “right” choices are wrong for us? What if we do what we’re “supposed” to do but don’t get the result we’ve been promised? By all outward standards, Sarah Gormley did what she was supposed to do. She had a great career in corporate America, lived in New York and was highly successful. But she didn’t feel successful, or happy. It wasn’t until Sarah’s mother received a devastating health diagnosis that Sarah began to reevaluate her life and her choices. In her poignant, humor-filled new book, , Sarah tells how a return to her childhood home on a farm in Ohio made her reevaluate her choices as a “gold star chaser.” A believer in both therapy and self-reflection, Sarah describes The Order of Things as a “self-hope” book, offering a true story that reminds the reader it’s never too late to live the life you are meant to live and to discover joy. Here at Brilliantly Resilient, we’ve seen how easy it is to get lost in what the world says we should want and do to make us happy. It often takes a sucker punch or train wreck that, while initially devastating, can be the push we need to make decisions that are right for us, not the rest of the world. It takes courage, intention and a willingness to be vulnerable, but as Sarah confirms, it's oh so worth it. For updates on The Order of Things, check out Sarah on Instagram at @scgormley. Order your copy of The Order of Things , and for these additional bits of Brilliance from Sarah: If I go do the “things,” I’ll catch up. I’ll start to feel better because I’m doing the “things.” That’s what I thought the order was…go do these things and life will be fulfilling. I thought there was an equation. Well guess what? There’s no equation. One of the best things about therapy was that it helped me to understand things. What helped me recalibrate was understanding my childhood differently. If you understand things differently, a lot of anger and pain evaporate. Why is it so terrifying to be our most genuine selves? I love the term ‘recalibraiton.’ It’s about making little changes. Sometimes nothing is more unexpected than joy. Let’s be Brilliantly Resilient together! XO, Mary Fran /episode/index/show/brilliantlyresilient/id/32294977

Episode 201: Ending Food Insecurity while Offering Dignity and Respect with the Warminster Food Bank 07/09/2024

Episode 201: Ending Food Insecurity while Offering Dignity and Respect with the Warminster Food Bank Food insecurity relates to choices that people have to make economically. The choice between a prescription drug or buying food; the choice between buying gas or buying food, the choice between buying school supplies and buying food. We serve over 3,000 local families a year--a definitive need that lies below the surface. Mike Cerino: Executive Director, Warminster Food Bank When was the last time you ate? When was the last time you stopped at a Walgreens or CVS to pick up a necessary prescription, or drove to Costco to fill your car up with gas? Now, when was the last time you had to choose between those things because you couldn't afford to take care of all three? Mike Cerino is Executive Director of the Warminster Food Bank, located in Warminster, PA. Along with his assistant Melody Latare and other volunteers, Mike sees people forced to make such choices all too often. Food insecurity can affect anyone at any time, given a sudden illness, job loss, or other challenging circumstances. Yet in the suburbs of large cities, as Warminster is to Philadelphia, food insecurity is unexpected and therefore often hidden in plain sight. The problem is compounded by the shame and embarrassment frequently felt by those in need. The Warminster Food Bank strives to not only meet their guests' physical needs, but to treat each person with dignity and respect, building community and shared humanity along the way. Mike and Melody note that volunteers often get just as much out of their service to others as those receiving assistance. Here at Brilliantly Resilient, we recognize the power of service, both to those served as well as those offering their service. We also know the importance of refusing to judge others' circumstances and instead bringing our transferable skills to help in any way possible. With a budget that's risen by $4000/month since Covid, and at this time of year, the Warminster Food Bank is in greater need of food to serve those in need. Please visit for a list of current foods needed, and to learn more. Tune in for these additional bits of Brilliance from Mike and Melody: I'm tired of people saying others show up in expensive cars to get a basket of food. When the Escalade you're driving becomes your house, it's not that an impressive a car any more. People are embarrassed and ashamed. The more we build awareness in the community, the more people will be able to come to us. The stigma of it will disappear. There's a hunger for people to be treated with dignity; there's a hunger for people to be treated with respect. That's (also) the hunger that we serve, which is why we call the people we serve our "guests." Food isn't a gift or a privilege, it's a right. Vision: To reduce or eliminate local food insecurity. Mission: To provide services to those in need in a way that preserves dignity and respect. Passion: to offer an outlet to those who want to help others so they can improve their lives. Be of service and share your Brilliance. Let's be Brilliantly Resilient together. XO, Mary Fran /episode/index/show/brilliantlyresilient/id/32054662

Episode 200: Bringing People Back to Food with The Farm at Catawissa Creek 06/18/2024

Episode 200: Bringing People Back to Food with The Farm at Catawissa Creek Everyone needs food. Everyone should be concerned about how it’s being grown. Anne and David Darling ~ The Farm at Catawissa Creek How many times a day do you eat? How many times a day do you think about what and when you’re going to eat? (My husband says he can always tell when I’m talking to my mother because we’re talking about food!) Now, how many times a day do you think about where that food is coming from? Anne and David Darling, the young farmers who are the “stewards” and owners of The Farm at Catawissa Creek, and this week’s guests on the Brilliantly Resilient podcast, are intent on making others aware of our relationship to food. As young farmers, the Darlings are, sadly, a rare breed. Their passion for growing healthy food and encouraging others to appreciate farms and their place in our society is a welcome and necessary reminder of the importance of farming and the soil that provides our food. Neither Anne nor David grew up as farmers, but their desire to be of service and answer a higher calling, along with an openness to the opportunities provided by the universe, led them to farming and each other. Here at Brilliantly Resilient, we LOVE when folks find their Brilliance in service. When you lead with your heart, the best of you follows. The Darlings brought all of their transferable skills to their passion and are truly living a Brilliantly Resilient life. Be sure to check out the events, farm to table meals, workshops, yoga classes and the pure beauty of Tune into the episode here, and be sure to listen for these additional bits of Brilliance: We wanted to attune to the highest possible good. What’s the highest good we can provide for not only humans, but the planet? Do something bigger than yourself. We are missing a relationship to the soil. Everything comes in a box, everything is packaged. We’re disconnected from soil and from nature. You have to think of soil as being alive. It’s a home for our food and so many creatures. We have to respect it. We bought our farm from a farmer who spoke to over 5000 people about selling his farm. The farm used to be the crux and central hub of the community.Young people are not going into farming. Let’s be Brilliantly Resilient together! XO, Mary Fran /episode/index/show/brilliantlyresilient/id/31633582

Episode 199: Enabling Literacy for Kids with Dyslexia with Cole Aansen 05/28/2024

Episode 199: Enabling Literacy for Kids with Dyslexia with Cole Aansen I'd like for parents going into parenthood to have a slightly more open expectation that when you have a child you don't necessarily know what their educational needs might be.... Maybe normalize awareness of learning differences. Perhaps we can then change how we expect our children to be. Cole Aansen Do you know anyone who is dyslexic? Whether you're aware of it or not, you probably do. Cole Aansen, a Certified Literacy Intervention Teacher and this week's guest on the Brilliantly Resilient podcast, tells us that statistics show that 20% of the population is dyslexic, regardless of race, socio-economic status or any other measure. According to Cole, Dyslexia isn't seeing words backwards, a common misconception. Dyslexia is about language processing. Those with dyslexia process the written word differently than those who learn in a more traditional way. Cole further notes, "Dyslexia isn't something you get over. It's a brain processing issue. You can learn strategies to navigate it, but it doesn't go away." Using the Orton Gillingham approach, Cole uses a multisensory approach to teach others to read. With tools like finger tapping and writing sounds and letters in a sand tray with the fingertips (with 10,000 nerve endings, the tracing letters in the sand can send 10,000 messages to the brain to help learning), the multisensory approach helps to create more pathways in the brain. Cole is creating materials for the learner unable to utilize a tutor to enable more students and parents to access this multisensory approach. With cards and a video course, Cole helps dyslexic readers to learn to read. Here at Brilliantly Resilient, we celebrate differences. Yet a skill as basic as literacy is necessary to function in our society. When people like Cole share their passion for helping others master such a necessity, all ships rise. Please support Cole's work and donate to her Thank you, Cole for sharing your important work! Let's be Brilliantly Resilient together! XO, Mary Fran /episode/index/show/brilliantlyresilient/id/31427012

Episode 198: How to Address Corporate Wellness to Protect People, Purpose and Profits, with Princess Castleberry 05/14/2024

Episode 198: How to Address Corporate Wellness to Protect People, Purpose and Profits, with Princess Castleberry People are the magic in every company. People are the center of wellness and risk management…We have to stop trivializing burnout and chronic stress and address corporate wellness. ~ Princess Castleberry Does your business have a company wellness plan? Sometimes words like “wellness” begin to sound like static–annoying and with little meaning. But this week’s guest on the Brilliantly Resilient podcast, Princess Castleberry, knows that ignoring corporate wellness means putting an organization’s people, purpose and profits at risk. According to Princess, every leader must be a risk manager, and addressing employee wellness with actionable strategies can dramatically improve corporate and personal success. As a wellness and risk management consultant, Princess offers solutions to help leaders view wellness as compliance, inclusion and respect–all elements essential to team building and corporate success. Here at Brilliantly Resilient, we recognize the value of implementing actionable strategies to reduce stress and improve decision making, professional success and quality of life. Be sure to tune into this week’s episode for more and visit Princess Castleberry at: . Also, check out Princess’ video demonstrating Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR) for a simple, easy stress buster: Listen in for these additional bits of Brilliance from Princess Castleberry: Wellness can be called by other names–compliance, inclusion, respect. All of those things are put in place so humans can be well. Leaders can start by asking themselves three questions to begin to navigate wellness for themselves and their teams: How do you make decisions? How do you manage stress? How do you resolve and recognize conflict? The basic behavior chain is thoughts, feelings and actions. We have to learn to recognize how our triggers work. People suffer from decision fatigue. You have to trust your gut and divide your decision making into categories: Decisions where you can act fast. Decisions that must be delegated. Decisions that require deliberation–higher stakes decisions. Decisions to eliminate–any involving gossip or nonsense. Let’s be Brilliantly Resilient together! XO, Mary Fran /episode/index/show/brilliantlyresilient/id/30939563

Episode 197: How to Use--And NOT use--A.I. and ChatGPT with Dr. Jennifer Gardella 04/30/2024

Episode 197: How to Use--And NOT use--A.I. and ChatGPT with Dr. Jennifer Gardella People need to trust that you're the one saying what you're saying. ~ Dr. Jennifer Gardella, PhD. Do you struggle to create written content and social media posts for your business? How would you feel if hou had a program that could write all of your social media, articles and marketing copy with just a few simple prompts from you, allowing you to create enough content to fill an editorial calendar for an entire year? A.I. (Artificial Intelligence) and its go-to application, ChatGPT, promise just that, with a few key strokes. YAHOOOOO!!! Right? Not so fast, cautions Dr. Jennifer Gardella in this week's episode of the Brilliantly Resilient podcast. While A.I. can be a truly productive tool to help with content creation, Dr. Gardella warns that it is artificial, and can impact the trust and authenticity factors essential to the customer/provider relationship. She notes, "What did we learn through Covid? People are dying for genuine connection." A.I. is computer generated, and by its very nature, inauthentic. Further, Google is now identifying A.I. generated content and flagging it in search results, potentially changing up to 40% of what shows up in a Google search. There are ways to use A.I. effectively, provided you view it as a starting point and commit to editing the final copy to reflect you and your brand. Thoughtful editing also prevents your copy from resembling or even coming up as a direct copy of others in your market using A.I. exclusively. Here at Brilliantly Resilient, we're always happy to accept help to share Brilliance. But we're also committed to truth and authenticity--whatever you put out in the world must be real and reflect you and your brand. Tune in to hear more of Dr. Gardella's strategies for best using A.I. and visit her at: Be sure to listen for these additional bits of Brilliance: There is a need for marketing teams to be cutting edge, so when ChatGPT came on the scene everyone jumped on the bandwagon. It shouldn't be used exclusively. Google has changed their algorithm to identify artificially created content. To eliminate it, it will change 40% of search results. ChatGPT is idea creation. Don't use it as your actual content. You are the greatest center of your brand as a small business owner. You are your brand and you know your ideal customer. You need to edit artificial content to stay on YOUR brand. Regarding Chatbots--If it doesn't work for you in your personal life, why the heck do you think it's going to work for your ideal client? (Everyone hates Chatbots!) Let's be Brilliantly Resilient together! XO, Mary Fran /episode/index/show/brilliantlyresilient/id/31004908

Episode 196: How to "Do Your Time" with Vision, Committment and Determination, with Jonathan Greene, a.k.a. Davon and Greene 04/16/2024

Episode 195: The Deadly Silence--How Education Becomes the Cure for Ignorance, with Hisham Mohammed 04/02/2024

Episode 195: The Deadly Silence--How Education Becomes the Cure for Ignorance, with Hisham Mohammed The important thing is to talk and to educate. The cure for ignorance is education. We don'tknow what's going on with other people--we can't assume. ~ Hisham Mohammed In 2006, at age 8 Hisham Mohammed became paralyzed from the neck down by a bomb that went off just outside of his home in Iraq. In a moment, young Hisham became a victim of a war he never chose to be part of, as shrapnel ripped through his spinal cord, also killing a 12-year-old friend. After the blast, Hisham's parents, both physicians in Iraq, shifted their entire focus from living and raising their family in a country they loved, to embarking on an around-the-world journey of survival and discovery, trying to save their youngest son. Hisham says, "Never in our wildest dreams did we think something like this would happen and we would we come to live in America"--the very country with which Iraq was at war. What followed is a young man's extraordinary story of hope and healing, as Hisham committed his life to listening to others, raising awareness about the devastation of war and disability, and turning to education to inform and inspire everyone he meets. Here at Brilliantly Resilient, we believe in the power of listening. Only by being open to others' views can we hope to understand and find common ground in our shared humanity. As Hisham reminds us, we all need to "be stong, respect others and have faith." Tune in to hear more of Hisham's brilliance on this episode of the Brilliantly Resilient podcast and pick up your copy of The Deadly Silence . Listen for these additional bits of brilliance: We have to stop making things so complex. Formal education doesn't have to take place. The key is listening. Active listening. Ask questions to learn about other people and cultures. Then listen to their answers. Let's be Brilliantly Resilient together! XO, Mary Fran /episode/index/show/brilliantlyresilient/id/30158233

Episode 194: How to Take Your Power Back with Dr. Jennifer Gardella 03/19/2024

Episode 194: How to Take Your Power Back with Dr. Jennifer Gardella Brilliantly Resilient is back!! After some much needed time off, B.R. is back with new episodes, amazing guests, and more inspiration for you to live a Brilliantly Resilient life. Let us know what you think and reach out at . Be sure to check out for more! And now, on with the show! Who is to say my day is worth nothing? Take your power back and say "I get to choose." ~ Dr. Jennifer Gardella Are you an entrepreneur or just starting a business? Do you have an area of expertise that has value in the business marketplace? Or are you a "professional volunteer" expected to put up your hand every time someone needs something? It's often difficult to put a value on what we do, particularly if you are just starting a business or do work in an area with societal impact. It's not unusual for people to expect you to give your time or products away for free, or minimal value, especially if you are a woman. (It's hard to believe a man would be asked to give of his time or work for free.) And if you are a known volunteer, it can often feel like your life is up for grabs for anyone who needs anything. On this week's episode, Dr. Jennifer Gardella shares important insights on how to value your work and your time, starting with learning to value yourself. Dr. Gardella notes that setting boundaries is the first step in taking back your power--and not everyone is going to like it. When we put up boundaries, those who are used to having us behave in a certain way (read--be available on their terms) won't be happy when told, "No." But a little pain will be worth a lot of gain--for you. Tune in for a strategy to accomplish your personal power grab (Awareness, education, empowerment and growth), and be sure to listen for these additional bits of brilliance: You have to get paid for your expertise. You can still do things for free, but you get to choose what and when. Awareness and education lead to empowerment and growth. Your business and personal lives are very enmeshed. Where are your boundaries? You have the right to say, "This is how I'm spending my time." Be ready to acknowledge that things are not working. Dig deep and keep asking "Why?" Learn more about Dr. Gardella at . Let's be Brilliantly Resilient together! XO, Mary Fran /episode/index/show/brilliantlyresilient/id/30421398

Episode 193: How to Create Activism Through Story-Telling, with "Live Through This" Author, Kristen McGuiness 12/05/2023

Episode 193: How to Create Activism Through Story-Telling, with "Live Through This" Author, Kristen McGuiness Storytelling is a Trojan horse, with our activism inside. It’s a much gentler approach to guide someone to a wider lens of understanding, compassion and empathy. ~ Kristen McGuiness Have you ever felt “changed” by a book? Those who love to read–and write–know what it’s like to become lost in a story, feeling along with characters and experiencing their trials and triumphs along with them. Kristen McGuiness, founder of Rise Publishing and author of Live Through This, believes in the power of storytelling as a tool to create understanding and change while building alliances for the greater good. An activist against injustice from a young age after losing her father to a long prison sentence, Kristen believes in storytelling as a way to share experiences and encourage others to see a different point of view. Here at Brilliantly Resilient, we believe that broadening perceptions to include those of others is part of building resilience. When we are willing to look through a different lens, we learn and grow, as well as create alliances with others. Tune into this week’s episode of the Brilliantly Resilient podcast to hear more of Kristen’s wisdom and pick up your copy of Live Through This. Be sure to listen for these additional bits of brilliance: Books aren’t banned because people are ‘afraid of turning gay,’ for example. They’re banned because we recognize that story connects us and the fear is that a perspective will be changed and you’ll become an ally of something others don’t like or endorse. If we have the desire to write, we are often writing from a place of pain or hardship, and of someone who has had to overcome that. That is always a story of justice to me and of justice being served in some way. The systems in which we live, like a five day work week with only two days off, can keep us from feeling we have the time to be socially active. We need to make a choice to build more justice in this world. We can make change. Let’s be Brilliantly Resilient together! XO, Mary Fran & Kristin /episode/index/show/brilliantlyresilient/id/28920693

Episode 192: How to Build “Organization Muscle” in Your Business, with Author Kevin Nolan 11/28/2023

Episode 192: How to Build “Organization Muscle” in Your Business, with Author Kevin Nolan Building community both in your business and with your customer community is essential. I see community as “common unity.” Everyone in a community has something they care about and we want to be part of that. It’s good for employees and good for customers. ~ Kevin Nolan By their nature, entrepreneurs often start their businesses alone, taking on many roles as they try to build their companies into sustainable, viable organizations. But going it alone, without recognizing the need for a community of support–and for building a community of support for employees–can stop an entrepreneur’s dream in its tracks. Kevin Nolan is the founder of Nolan Painting and Nolan Consulting and author of the new book . Started to make money while he was in college, Kevin has built Nolan Painting into the nation’s largest and most successful family-owned residential painting company. Along the way, he’s learned powerful lessons, many of which dovetail with the Brilliantly Resilient tenets of building both a professional and personal foundation on a clear values system. Kevin’s success begins with the values he believes in as an individual and makes a part of his business, and which his employees share as well. Citing community as a primary value, Kevin makes certain to imbue his office culture and community outreach with a sense of community building, creating employee and customer loyalty in the process. Be sure to check out for dynamic tips and practical strategies for building a business. And listen to Kevin’s episode of the Brilliantly Resilient podcast for these additional bits of brilliance: The way to build Organizational Muscle starts with 3 things: mission, vision, values, repeat. If you’re not putting the culture in your company, someone else is. You have to work as a team within your business. Human beings work together; make your business a place of collaborative opportunity for everyone. Be careful of Hourglass management. That’s when you set yourself up to have to approve each grain of sand as it falls through. The only way to succeed is to get out of the hourglass; get others involved so you aren’t constantly overwhelmed. Organization muscle is building a team, working together and building strength and endurance with routines. Routines are grounding. Let’s be Brilliantly Resilient together! XO, Mary Fran & Kristin /episode/index/show/brilliantlyresilient/id/28816188

Episode 191: How to Tap Into Resilience Through Gratitude with Mary Fran Bontempo & Kristin Smedley! 11/21/2023

Episode 190: Living an Empowered Life Through "The Pause," with MenoWell Energy Bar Founder, Julie Gordon White 11/14/2023

Episode 190: Living an Empowered Life Through "The Pause," with MenoWell Energy Bar Founder, Julie Gordon White I don’t subscribe to the idea that women, as we get older, we just fall apart. This may sound crazy, but I believe menopause is empowering…after so many years of caring for so many people, this is our time. ~ Julie Gordon White Have you experienced “the pause?” As women, we are all destined to experience menopause, should we reach the age. If we believe the media, that’s when we go from Snow White to the old crone–shriveled, dried up and useless. But Julie Gordon White knows it doesn’t have to be that way. In fact, with the proper education, nutrition and effort, menopause can be a time of opportunity and growth. Julie researched the topic and learned that most doctors receive only 1-2 hours of education on menopause, not nearly enough. In fact, Julie learned that menopause is not a life-sentence, it’s actually a single day that defines the end of a woman’s cycle. After realizing that menopause needn’t be an end, Julie founded a company that provides nutritious, energy packed snack bars to help manage symptoms and build a powerful mind and body during menopause. Further, Julie has created a movement where women can talk about a subject that’s been taboo for far too long. With a strategy, menopause symptoms can be managed and women can expect to live powerful productive lives for many years to come. Here at Brilliantly Resilient, we believe that self-care is essential to living a healthy, productive and happy life, and that age should never dictate how successful we are when sharing our Brilliantly Resilient gifts with the world. Tune in to hear more of Julie’s wisdom, and order some today! Be sure to listen for these additional bits of brilliance from Julie: We have to educate ourselves as women. We can’t depend on our medical professionals because they don’t always know. Visit menopause.org. and educate yourself. Then it’s about nutrition because what we put in our bodies matters. There are 34 plus symptoms surrounding menopause, and 90% of women experience a ten pound weight gain around the middle. It’s visceral fat and dangerous. There is a 70% higher risk of heart disease with visceral fat. Our waist size as women should be 34 inches or less. Mindset in menopause must be a practice. We have to tell ourselves that we can be better, healthier and empowered and keep that in our minds until it becomes natural. Our thinking self can create the experience that we want. Let’s be Brilliantly Resilient together! XO, Mary Fran & Kristin /episode/index/show/brilliantlyresilient/id/28625373

Episode 189: How to Claim Peace and Ditch Shame, with "These Broken Roads" Author, Donna Marie Hayes 11/07/2023

Episode 189: How to Claim Peace and Ditch Shame, with "These Broken Roads" Author, Donna Marie Hayes Normally, because of how I was raised, I would steer clear of anything that was confrontational because I wanted to keep the peace. But I started to wonder, whose peace was I keeping? ~ Donna Marie Hayes How many times have you avoided confrontation to “keep the peace?” How many times have you explained away red flags in relationships or situations because you couldn’t or wouldn’t face your own doubts and fears? After experiencing great loneliness during her childhood, Donna Marie Hayes felt she was on sure footing. After two failed marriages, Donna took eight years being on her own to build a strong personal foundation. But in her mid-50’s, Donna wanted companionship, and found the “love of her life” through an online dating site. For 18 months, her relationship blossomed, until it came crashing down and she discovered she had been scammed, losing all of her money to a man who professed to love her. On this episode of the Brilliantly Resilient podcast, Donna talks about how her childhood traumas remained to cause her to deny and deflect obvious red flags because she so wanted her relationship to be what it appeared to be on the surface. And once she realized she had been scammed, she fell into a place of shame, not wanting anyone to know what she felt she had allowed to happen to her. As we say in Brilliantly Resilient, it was when Donna armed herself with the truth that she was able to transfer her shame to her abuser, find her peace and later, to use her experiences to help other women rebuild their lives after devastating experiences. To learn more, tune into this episode of the Brilliantly Resilient podcast, and check out Donna’s appearance on as she talks about her book, . Be sure to listen for these additional bits of Brilliance: I thought those eight years of just being by myself prepared me for this, but I got sucked right in, because he was so nice, because I needed that. I needed it to be real, I wanted it to be real. I talked around it (the red flags). How are you showing up in life? Are you showing up diminished? Are you showing up with self-limiting beliefs or are some of your childhood traumas showing up in your adult life? We can’t predict what we are going to do; we have to do some self-reflection. The common thread was shame. I decided to tell the story so the next woman who Googles his name is going to see what he did. I’m not going to wear your shame. You wear it. How can I repurpose my pain? How can I use it to benefit others? Let’s be Brilliantly Resilient together! XO, Mary Fran & Kristin /episode/index/show/brilliantlyresilient/id/28529834

Episode 188: How to Let Go of Should Be and Make Room for Could Be with Brilliantly Resilient Co-Founder, Mary Fran Bontempo 10/31/2023

Episode 188: How to Let Go of Should Be and Make Room for Could Be with Brilliantly Resilient Co-Founder, Mary Fran Bontempo By making best friends with denial and distraction, I was refusing to see what "could be" going on in my life, which was that my son had been struggling for a very long time with substance abuse issues. I kept holding onto what I thought my life and my son "should be," instead of facing and dealing with the truth. ~ Mary Fran Bontempo Have you ever known that a crisis was barrelling down on you but you refused to see it? Some truths are just too hard to face, leading us to deny their existence and distract ourselves with just about anything to keep from facing reality. We're taught from a young age that if we follow "the rules," things will be okay. Do the right thing, and good will follow. Unfortunately, despite our best efforts, it doesn't always work out that way. Yet, giving up on that myth is scary, and can open a Pandora's box of life messes that we just don't want to face. , co-founder of Brilliantly Resilient, knows the perils of focusing only on what she thought her life "should be," based on living by the rules. Knowing that her son was having some challenges, Mary Fran denied the severity of what she intuitively felt was wrong, because that wasn't what her life "should be" manifesting. If you follow the rules, things will be okay, right? But by ignoring the truth of what "could be," which was, in fact, that her son had spiraled into serious addiction, Mary Fran almost lost her child. We cannot navigate challenges if we deny them. It's essential to see truth. Maybe what's happening shouldn't be--terrible things shouldn't happen to good people--but only by acknowledging what could be the truth can we begin to find solutions and make our way back to the light. Tune in for more of Mary Fran's insights on , and be sure to get her book, , which tells the story of her son's addiction and how she and her family made their way back to health and healing. Let's be Brilliantly Resilient together! XO, Mary Fran & Kristin /episode/index/show/brilliantlyresilient/id/28456049

Episode 187: How to Own Your Power with Women That Influence Founder Sara Canuso 10/24/2023

Episode 186: How to Use Perception to Become Brilliantly Resilient with B.R. Co-Founder Kristin Smedley 10/17/2023

Episode 185: How to Light Your Spark and Find Your Purpose, with Aleta Norris 10/10/2023

Episode 185: How to Light Your Spark and Find Your Purpose, with Aleta Norris Let’s wake up every day and let’s be on fire about a contribution that we’re making to a broader audience. ~ Aleta Norris What’s your purpose? Yes, it’s a heavy question–one most of us grapple with often. But we can start to find our purpose once we look beyond ourselves. , best-selling author of , joins the Brilliantly Resilient podcast to share her wisdom about how to live happy, successful lives when our life journey doesn’t always match the visions of our younger selves. Despite experiencing hardships and challenges, Aleta assures women that life, especially in its second half, can contain joy, opportunity, and purpose, provided we learn to look outside of our own circumstances and recognize that good and bad can co-exist. With a process-oriented and pragmatic system, Aleta guides women towards vitality and fulfillment, urging us all to be “fully used up” by the end of our journeys. Here at Brilliantly Resilient, we believe that service to others can open the door to discovering one’s purpose and brilliance. Once we tap into our resilience to navigate our challenges and define our values, we not only learn what’s most important to us, but we uncover ways we can contribute to the greater good, giving our lives meaning. Tune in for more of Aleta’s wisdom and be sure to listen for these additional bits of brilliance: When the yucky stuff hasn’t happened yet, we spend time focusing only on ourselves. Those of us who reach that crappy part in our lives are blessed, because that’s the wake-up call. Our difficulties are our gift if we decide to make them our gift. Look at your life in decades. The 30’s and 40’s are very difficult decades. The messy middle. But it’s not always going to be like that. Accept it for what it is but remember there is so much ahead. You can be good enough at something. You don’t have to be great. I’m a good enough mom. Think about the things you love without having to turn it into a decision right away. Let’s be Brilliantly Resilient together! XO, Mary Fran & Kristin /episode/index/show/brilliantlyresilient/id/28268435

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