Episode 26- 5 Ways to Reconstruct Your Marriage Part 1

Hello Friends,

Have you ever been in a season of marriage where nothing seems to be going your
way? Does everything you do or say turns into an argument? Instead of your home being a safe place, do you find yourself walking on eggshells every day, trying to avoid conflict?

If this sound familiar, the two next episode of our podcast can help. We are going to break down 5 ways you can rescontruct your marriage.

There are seasons in marriage that may seem impossible to get through, this is true for everyone. Alex and I have gone through a few of those seasons in our own marriage. However, you and your spouse will have to work together as a team to get through it. I know this is true because that is exactly how we have gotten through our hard seasons. We decide to work together instead of fighting against each other.

Every marriage is different and you may have to do a major reconstruction on your marriage, but it’s possible to be happy again.

Step 1 in Reconstructing Your Marriage

Do a Reset

The first step in this reconstruction process will be looking at your marriage and deciding what needs to be reset. 

You can start the reset process but sitting down with your spouse and going through
some questions.

What’s not working in our marriage?
What are we doing that guarantees an argument will happen?
When\where does the conflict occur the most?

You can also ask questions during this reset process that can help you and your spouse to move forward.

Are there things we use to do, that we have stopped doing?
What brought life and laughter into our marriage? Are they still happening?
Is there something we could establish that we have never done before?
What is something we can do on a regular basis to invest in our marriage?

These are just a few questions to get you started. The objective here is to sit down and figure out what needs to change in order to get your marriage into a healthy rhythm that will allow it to grow. Then you can move on to the next step.

Step 2 in Reconstructing Your Marriage

Remove Anything Causing Conflict

After you have looked at the areas that need a reset, now it’s time to figure out what needs to be
removed from your marriage.

You can start by seeing if the following is happening in your relationship.

Criticizing and Complaining
If criticism and complaining are normal in your marriage they should be the first two things that you remove. They will cause your marriage to be in a constant negative state, and nothing will change or get better in a negative atmosphere.

Another common issue in marriages are…
Unrealistic or Uncommunicated Expectations
These expectations will only lead to conflict because they can never be fulfilled which leads to resentment and frustration. 

Do an inventory of what your expectations are, if they are unrealistic, remove them altogether.

If your expectations are just uncommunicated, sit down with your spouse and talk through them.

Expectations are way more likely to be carried out if you actually communicate them to the person that needs to know them. 

Just like with the reset option, each marriage is different, so take an honest look at your relationship and decided together what needs to be completely removed so change can come, and then do everything you can to remove them.

 

Join us on our next episode as we give you the other 3 ways you can reconstruct your marriage.

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