A Beautiful Adventure Marriage

Hello friends, and welcome to A Beautiful Adventure Marriage Podcast. We are Alex and Tara Payne and we're so glad you're here. We're here to shine a positive light on marriage through Biblical truths and practical marriage tips and resources. We believe marriage is God's idea. It's a good idea and it can be a beautiful adventure. So let's go!

Episode 42- 10 Ways to Have Better Sex Part 4 10/15/2024

Episode 41- 10 Ways to Have Better Sex Part 3 10/01/2024

Episode 40- 10 Ways to Have Better Sex Part 2 09/19/2024

Episode 39- 10 Ways to Have Better Sex Part 1 09/03/2024

Episode 38- Sex Life Killers Part 3 08/20/2024

Episode 38- Sex Life Killers Part 3 Last week we gave you more things that could be damaging or even killing your sex life. Your sex life is such an important part of your marriage and should be thriving not dying. On our last two episodes we talked about... Distractions Constantly shutting down your spouse Critical Words Body Image Comparison Being Too Busy Poor Routine Let's look at a few more things that could be hindering your sex life. Getting Too Comfortable I love the fact that I am comfortable being myself in my marriage. That is one of the many facets of marriage. It is a place to be loved unconditionally, even the imperfect side of me that no one else sees. However, we can take comfort too far. During the dating phase, you probably would have literally died if you farted or burped in front of the other person. You definitely didn’t let them in the bathroom while you occupied it. You didn’t go around scratching whatever itched or wearing dirty clothes. Yet, we do these very things in marriage and wonder why our spouses aren’t throwing themselves on us. Let’s be comfortable, but not take it too far. Set back up some of the dating boundaries and you might get some of the dating attention. Selfishness The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality—the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. Marriage is not a place to “stand up for your rights.” Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out. 1 Corinthians 7:3-4 Being selfish is easy to do, it is our human nature. It is our natural response to focus on what we want or need. Unfortunately, selfishness can also be an intimacy killer. If your only goal in the bedroom is to fulfill your needs, that is not very alluring for the other person. Sex in marriage needs to be a place where both people are being satisfied. Weaponizing Sex We saved the most dangerous sex life killer for last. Using sex as a weapon is the quickest way to kill intimacy in your marriage. Sex is a gift, not a prize. Sex should never be withheld due to bad behavior, or as a prize for good behavior. In the sanctity of marriage, sex should never be conditional. It is a privilege we get to enjoy in marriage, not earn. /episode/index/show/c3261734-b619-47b2-8686-c964546b8c12/id/32631597

Episode 37- Sex Life Killers Part 2 08/06/2024

Episode 37- Sex Life Killers Part 2 Sex Life Killers Part 2 Last week we gave you three things that could be damaging or even killing your sex life. Your sex life is such an important part of your marriage and should be thriving not dying. On our last episode we talked about... Distractions Constantly shutting down your spouse Critical Words Let's look at a few more things that could be hindering your sex life. Comparison Comparison is a relationship killer in general. It has the ability to take a person who has so much and make them believe they have nothing. Comparison always leaves you feeling less-than. Comparison can kill intimacy on multiple levels. Pushing through this can be hard, but we were never meant to be like other people. Your spouse didn’t choose someone else. They chose and love you. Don’t let comparison steal your intimacy. Body Image Comparison is a great segue to our next point. A lot of people simply let themselves go and do not take care of their bodies after marriage. One major sex life killer can be refusing to take care of our bodies after we get married. The pressure to “win” a spouse is off, so we get lazy and sloppy. NOW LISTEN CAREFULLY – We are not saying you have to be bone skinny or have six-pack abs for the rest of your life to be happily married. That is impossible, BUT you can take care of yourself. You can be healthy. Being Too Busy If I had to guess, you probably have a to-do list that is a mile long. This world glorifies busyness. If you are overwhelmed, unrested, and unhealthy, clearly you are a go-getter who will be happy and successful someday. If you are too busy to have sex, you are too busy. Prioritize your marriage and your spouse. Choose them over a to-do list. The list will be there tomorrow, and after good sex, you may be more energized to get it accomplished. Having A Poor Routine Another sex life killer is falling into a poor routine. Always doing the same thing is boring. Spice things up. Do it in a different place, at a different time of day. If you have to schedule sex to make sure it is a priority, that is fine but be creative about everything else. It doesn’t always have to be the same old sex. Sex can be scheduled, intentional, and yet exciting. It just takes a little planning and prep. www.abeautifuladventuremarriage.com /episode/index/show/c3261734-b619-47b2-8686-c964546b8c12/id/32431307

Episode 36- Sex Life Killers Part 1 07/30/2024

Episode 36- Sex Life Killers Part 1 Sex is a great thing! Most people spend the majority of their single lives trying to get as much of it as possible. But there is a problem that can happen in marriage… Once married, you can have sex all you want…but for many people and for many different reasons sex stops… join us as we talk about the things that can kill off a good sex life. What the Word Says about Sex in Marriage Your spring water is for you and you only, not to be passed around among strangers. Bless your fresh-flowing fountain! Enjoy the wife you married as a young man! Lovely as an angel, beautiful as a rose—don’t ever quit taking delight in her body. Never take her love for granted! Why would you trade enduring intimacies for cheap thrills with a prostitute? for dalliance with a promiscuous stranger? Proverbs 5:18-20 Abstaining from sex is permissible for a period of time if you both agree to it, and if it’s for the purposes of prayer and fasting—but only for such times. Then come back together again. Satan has an ingenious way of tempting us when we least expect it. 1 Corinthians 7:5 Ways You Could Ruin Your Sex Life In Marriage 1.Having Too Many Distractions What are you doing when you and your spouse are together? Are you on your phone, watching tv, or preoccupied with something else? Distractions can take up a large portion of our day if we are not careful. Instead of coming home and picking up the remote or your phone, maybe come home and try to “pick up” your spouse. 2.Constantly Shutting Down Your Spouse One thing that could be severely hurting your sex life is constant shutdowns. Is your spouse putting the offer on the table only to walk away rejected? Sometimes sex can’t happen for a variety of reasons, but why not take advantage of the times it can? I know you may not “feel like it”, but instead of saying no all the time, honor your spouse by saying yes. The fact that they are pursuing you shows they are attracted to you and want to be with you. 3.Using Critical Words What is the atmosphere of your home like? Is it a life-giving place where you feel safe to be yourself? Or is it a critical place where you or your spouse feel like you are walking on eggshells? What words are you predominantly speaking to each other? Are they positive or critical? If you are constantly being critical toward your spouse, they will not want to show intimacy towards you. Change your words, change your sex life. Join us on the next episode as we will give you more things that could be damaging to your sex life! www.abeautifuladventuremarriage.com /episode/index/show/c3261734-b619-47b2-8686-c964546b8c12/id/32324507

Episode 35- Sex and Marriage 07/09/2024

Episode 34- The 4 Step Marriage Plan 06/25/2024

Episode 34- The 4 Step Marriage Plan John J. Beckley once said, “Most people don’t plan to fail, they fail to plan.” This can be applied to every area of life. No one wakes up in the morning and plans to fail. Every marriage has dreams and goals. The problems come when we fail to make a plan to make those dreams and goals a reality. Without a plan with intentional steps, most if not all, dreams and goals will go unaccomplished, and we don’t want that to happen in your marriage. Join us for this episode as we give you a 4 Step Marriage Plan to help accomplish your goals and dreams. 4 Steps to Create a Marriage Plan Dream Together Sit down with your spouse and dream together. Take as long as you need on this step. Some dreams come to mind instantly, but others often come with process time. Take a few days both together and separately to pray and think through what your dreams are for your marriage. Identify Obstacles and Strategies to Overcome Them Why would we ask you to identify obstacles right after you have identified your dreams? So you can come up with strategies to overcome those obstacles. This is probably the most critical step in this process because we all have obstacles, and it is easy to get overwhelmed and give up when we come across one. Plot Out Your Next Step Once you have your dream, and the strategy for the obstacles, plot out your next steps together. These steps will be specific actions that will need to take place to accomplish the dream, and who is responsible for those actions. Don’t assume you and your spouse are on the same page here. Be very specific in who is responsible for what, that way both of you can walk out the steps appropriately. Set Deadlines Now that you have the dream, and the steps to accomplish it, make it measurable. Set a deadline to have the dream accomplished, but make sure the deadline is feasible. For example, if your dream is to be debt free, but you can’t accomplish that dream in 6 months, don’t set a 6-month deadline. Make your deadlines attainable. This will bring joy when the deadline is met, instead of frustration when it isn’t. Set yourself up for success. Then Repeat… You may have a lot of dreams and plans for your marriage. If that is the case, don’t get overwhelmed. You can only accomplish something one thing at a time. So pick a few dreams, accomplish them, and then pick some more and repeat. /episode/index/show/c3261734-b619-47b2-8686-c964546b8c12/id/31875537

Episode 33- 10 Commandments for Blended Families with Joel Hawbaker 06/11/2024

Episode 33- 10 Commandments for Blended Families with Joel Hawbaker The 10 Commandments for Blended Families In the same way Jesus summarized the law and the prophets in two great commandments, so the 10CBF can be summarized in what I call the 2 Pillars: 1. Be the adult you want your child(ren) to become. 2. Remember the Golden Rule and treat others the way you want to be treated. I. Communicate Well - Over communicate with all adults involved: choose a format/technology that works, and use it. When in doubt, communicate about it. II. Always Show Respect - Be respectful, calm, and patient with everyone involved, even if you’re the only one doing it. III. Use Discernment - Learn to choose your battles very carefully: differentiate between personal dislikes and ‘red flag’ issues. IV. Give Way Graciously - Be willing to graciously give way on minor issues. Yes, this comes with risk, but it’s still the right thing to do sometimes. V. Choose to Believe the Best - Choose to believe the best about the other household, and be sure to celebrate and acknowledge it when you see it VI. Express Genuine Gratitude - Be sure to show gratitude as often as possible whenever a joint agreement is reached, even on minor matters. VII. Model Maturity and Wisdom - Remember every day that you are the adult, and your task is to model maturity and wisdom for your children. Your task is NOT to ‘win’, get revenge, or even get your own way. VIII. Ask for Help - Get help before a frustration becomes a full-blown crisis. Ask for 3rd-party help from a counselor, pastor, neutral friend, or someone else that all parties are comfortable with. IX. Use Discretion - Be careful about what you say to or in front of your children or others outside your family. Work through your personal issues on your time, NOT in front of or by involving the children. X. Be Consistent - Be as consistent as possible at both (or all) houses in all areas of life. Also remember that total consistency is impossible, even in traditional families. Joel was educated at Covenant College, Joel Hawbaker is a former teacher and soccer coach, now working in telecom sales when he’s not speaking with or coaching blended families. He has two daughters from his first marriage, and he and his wife Maryellyn recently celebrated their tenth anniversary. They have a toddler daughter, and they are expecting their first son this October. The family lives in Alabama with their two rescue dogs, Butterscotch and Bruiser. You can find more resources about blended families at... social media (Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, and IG:) @joelwhawbaker website () podcast () email: /episode/index/show/c3261734-b619-47b2-8686-c964546b8c12/id/31691272

Episode 32- Wisdom for Making Difficult Decisions 05/28/2024

Episode 32- Wisdom for Making Difficult Decisions 5 Steps to Take When Making Hard Decisions Pause There are times when decisions must be made quickly, but this is not the norm. In most cases, we put unnecessary stress on ourselves and on our marriage by trying to make the decision as quickly as possible. Once you and your spouse have all the information and have had a chance to really talk about it, pause the conversation. Make an intentional decision to give yourself and your spouse some time to go through the next four steps to make a good decision. The next three steps all work together. You go through them all simultaneously both with and without your spouse. Ponder, Process, Repeat In most situations, people spend the most time thinking about how they want to handle the situation. They are quick to dismiss anyone else’s opinion, and their spouse is no exception. However, if we are going to make a wise decision, one that will benefit our family the most, we must work together with our spouse. Once both opinions have been communicated out, take some time to process the information. Weight your options to figure out what would be the best decision. This step can take as little or as much time as you need. The main thing here is to just make sure you have all the information to make the best decision you can. Pray This is the most important step of all. We need to be prayerful about the decisions that we need to make. The truth is God wants to be a part of our lives. He wants to be a part of the little decisions as much as He wants to be a part of the big ones. The Word tell us in James 1:5 that if we lack wisdom we should pray and ask for it. We serve a good God who wants to give us good gifts and wisdom is definitely one of them. Praying together with your spouse is a great way to deepen your connection as husband and wife. There is something very special about hearing your spouse talk to God. It is a great reminder that they do have your best interest at heart and want to do what is right for their families. If praying is not something that you and your spouse do often check out . There are so many benefits to praying together with your spouse, and this challenge will help you become intentional about praying together every day. Proceed The final step is acting on the decision you have made. If you take the time to really go through these steps with your spouse, you will be in a much better position to make a wise decision, even if it’s a hard one. The best-case scenario is you and your spouse come to a full agreement through this process and you can proceed together. However, I have found that in the moments where the full agreement does not come, there is still a peace. If I know that Alex has really thought about and prayed about something, it is easier for me to trust him even if I am not in full agreement. I can do this because I fully trust he has my best interest at heart, he has spoken to the Father about it, and he would never make a decision that would intentionally hurt us. Whether or not you come out on the same page or not, I can promise you that if you use these five steps in a positive way, they will bring you closer to each other. A trust and deepen connection will form between you and your spouse. Bonus Tip: Try to wait and only make a hard decision after you have been able to eat and rest. This is just something Alex and I have realized in our own personal lives. We do not make the best decisions if we are tired or hungry. Once we have gotten some food and some rest, we are in a much better place to make wise decisions. In fact, we are just able to communicate better as a whole after a good meal and some rest. www.abeautifuladventuremarriage.com /episode/index/show/c3261734-b619-47b2-8686-c964546b8c12/id/31487717

Episode 31- 12 Things to Avoid in Marriage Part 2 05/14/2024

Episode 31- 12 Things to Avoid in Marriage Part 2 Hello friends and welcome to the A Beautiful Adventure Marriage podcast. On our last episode, we gave you 6 out of 12 things that every marriage should avoid to be healthy and happy. We discussed… Constant Criticism and Belittling Being Secretive and Lying Silent Treatment Holding Grudges Confiding Too Much in Others Giving Ultimatums These are in no order but they all are equally damaging to a relationship. In this episode we are back for part 2. We have 6 more things that every marriage should avoid. So Alex let’s dive in… Disrespect and Name Calling Conflict is inevitable and arguments will happen in marriage. Although these moments will happen you and your spouse can still maintain a level of composure. One way you can show respect is by choosing your words wisely. Name-calling is detrimental to a relationship. It’s a level of disrespect that will slowly and effectively destroy a marriage. Unfaithfulness Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous. Hebrews 13:4 When you say, “I do”, you are committing solely to be with one person for the rest of your life. Regardless of the uniqueness of every marriage, sleeping with someone else is wrong and will bring nothing but damage to your marriage. God intended marriage to be between one man and one woman. Marriage in itself is a ministry, but only when we honor our vows by remaining faithful to God and each other. Putting Children/Others Before Your Spouse In Biblical order, our spouse comes before everyone but God. However, there are a lot of people who get this one out of order. So Biblical order is God, Spouse, Children, everything else. This means no one should come before your spouse except God, and that includes children, friends, and family. This is not to say that you do not love those people well, it just means they are not your number one priority 100% of the time. Using Sex as a Weapon Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 1 Corinthians 7:5 Within a marriage sex is a gift. It was given to us by a good God. Because sex is so important in a marriage it should never be used as a weapon. We should avoid withholding sex from our spouses to punish them or teach them a lesson. For the people who use this tactic, thing about this… sex is a gift that God gave us specifically for the marriage relationship. When you use it as a weapon, you are taking God’s gift and using it for evil. Nothing and I meant absolutely NOTHING will come out of manipulating someone like that. Never Spending Time Together Marriage can be so much fun. You get to do life with your best friend. However, that particular bond cannot form if you and your spouse never spend time together. A packed schedule can be a threat to a marriage. If you have absolutely no free time to spend time with your spouse, your marriage will suffer in the long run. Always Avoid Abuse Although some of the things mentioned are forms of abuse, we still wanted to take a moment and emphasize that all abuse is wrong. Not only should we avoid abuse, it should not be tolerated in a marriage at all. There are so many different forms of abuse that it would be impossible to name them all. However, if you find yourself in a position where physical, verbal, or emotional abuse is present please get help. Please do not stay in a dangerous environment. That is not normal, and you do not desire that! For sure, marriage can be a beautiful thing, but it won’t be if the things mentioned above or other abuse are happening! It may take some work to change things around, but your marriage is worth it! www.abeautifuladventuremarriage.com /episode/index/show/c3261734-b619-47b2-8686-c964546b8c12/id/31282497

Episode 30- 12 Things to Avoid in a Marriage Part 1 04/16/2024

Episode 30- 12 Things to Avoid in a Marriage Part 1 12 Things to Avoid in Marriage Every marriage is different. Everyone has their own uniqueness that they bring into their marriage that makes it special. We should be thankful for this, how boring would life be if everyone and every marriage looked the same? Being different is a gift; however, there are certain things every marriage should avoid. As the years pass in marriage it’s easy to get passive in certain behaviors. When you are engaged and newly married you are on your best behavior, and there are certain things that you would just never do… fast forward a few years and they might start happening. While little slips here and there may happen, we need to be vigilant about keeping those slips to a minimum for the health of our relationship. Although no one is perfect, there are certain behaviors that should just be avoided at all costs. Constant Criticism and Belittling Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. Ephesians 4:29 Criticism and belittling bring an atmosphere of negativity. Let’s be honest, no one only wants to hear what they do wrong. Another problem with constant criticism and belittling is the person goes from hearing that they are doing something wrong to hearing there is something wrong with them as a person. Criticism and belittling each other will never bring healthy change in a marriage. It will not only destroy the marriage, but it can also destroy the self-worth of the person who is constantly exposed to it. Being Secretive and Lying Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind. 1 Peter 2:1 Secrets are dangerous in a marriage. Now, we aren’t talking about secrets around something good like a birthday or surprise. We are talking about intentionally withholding information from your spouse in a deceptive way. The problem with secrets is we usually keep them when we know we are doing something we should not be doing. Secrets can also lead to full-blown lying as well. Secrets and lying can break trust in a marriage quickly, and a marriage without trust is not a marriage that can be sustained for long. Silent Treatment Just like we shouldn’t withhold information in our marriage, we should not quit talking to our spouse for extended periods. So many people use this when they are angry with each other. Although taking a break in an argument can be very beneficial, we always need to come back and find closure. Going for days or even weeks in a marriage without communicating will never bring restoration, it will only widen division in your relationship. If you need a moment, communicate that, but do not practice the silent treatment. 4. Holding Grudges For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. Matthew 6:14-15 In marriage hurts will happen. There are no perfect people, and that is why forgiveness is so very important. When these hurts happen, we cannot hold grudges and constantly bring up the past. Being historical will never bring healing to a relationship. Some hurts are difficult to deal with, if that is the case get whatever help is necessary because grudges are not the answer. Confiding Too Much in Others Having a mentor, someone you can go to for wisdom and guidance is amazing. Everyone and every marriage needs mentors. However, there is a difference between a mentor and anyone who will listen. There is also a difference between going to someone for guidance and going to someone to complain and vent. We should protect our marriages by being selective in who we confide in, especially if that person is of the opposite sex. We should never go to someone to simply complain about our marriage or share the shortcomings of our spouse. If there is a problem, figure it out with your spouse, or go together to a mentor, counselor, or pastor. Giving Ultimatums An ultimatum is When a person issues an ultimatum, they are saying, “I do not care what you want or think, you will do this my way or else.” Read that sentence again. Does this sound like an attitude that would create a healthy and happy marriage? Of course not! Marriage is about communication and compromise. It is two people working together as a team and finding ways to do life together in a harmonious way. Ultimatums will never bring harmony to a marriage. It will only bring manipulation and control. So these are the first things that should be avoided at all costs in a marriage. We hope you see why these things can be so destructive and choose not to have them active in your marriage. Yeh join us next time as we give you 6 more things that should be avoided so your marriage can be a beautiful adventure. www.abeautifuladventuremarriage.com /episode/index/show/c3261734-b619-47b2-8686-c964546b8c12/id/30844538

Episode 29- SMART Goals for Your Marriage 04/02/2024

Episode 29- SMART Goals for Your Marriage SMART Goals for Your Marriage In our last podcast, we gave you 5 ways to reconstruct your marriage if it was going through a hard season. However, your marriage could be in a really good place, but there are still things you and your spouse want to accomplish. When it comes to reconstructing your marriage or just continuing to make it better, you need to have a plan. So join us for this episode where we will teach you how to set SMART goals for your marriage. How to Set SMART Goals And the Lord answered me, and said, Write the vision, and make it plain upon tables, that he may run that readeth it. Habakkuk 2:2 If you are listening to us right now, my prayer is that you want to invest in your marriage and you want to set some attainable goals. With the information we have for you we believe you can set both short-term and long-term goals that you can achieve and grow your marriage. S-Specific When you are setting your goals do not make them vague. If you do it will be hard to figure out if you have indeed accomplished them. The more specific you can be the better. That way you will know exactly what you are working toward, and you will know exactly when you achieve it. M- Measurable By making your goal measurable it will be easier to track. You will be able to see your progress which will keep you moving forward until you achieve it. If you can’t measure your progress, you can become frustrated when it seems nothing is happening. Frustration can lead you into giving up entirely. A-Attainable Make sure you are working toward a goal that is possible. Now that is not to say that the goal can’t be challenging. Some goals will take a lot of work to accomplish and that is perfectly fine. Great fulfillment will come when you accomplish a goal that took effort. Just be sure that regardless of the challenge that it can be attained. If you set a goal that is impossible, you are just giving the enemy a weapon to use against you. R-Relevant and Realistic When setting goals, be honest with yourself. You know what you and your spouse are capable of in this season. Set goals that are relevant and realistic for the season that you are in. As the seasons of your life and marriage change, your capacity will change as well, but start where you are and work from there. We all have different starting lines. Find yours and set yourself up for success. T- Time-Bound Give each goal its own deadline. Some will be short-term goals that can be checked off the list quickly. Others may take months or even years to accomplish. Give each goal a realistic time frame and then work toward that. The Most Important Step Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established. Proverbs 16:3 When we take the time to set SMART goals, it will make our lives so much easier. When we have a plan it is always easier to execute it. But let’s not forget the most important step… include the Father. Pray about these goals. Asking the Lord to reveal to you what it is He wants you both to accomplish in your marriage, and also ask Him to help you as you and your spouse go through the whole process. The Lord not only has given you goals and dreams to achieve but He wants to be a part of it all. Don’t think you have to do this on your own. He is here and wants to help you and your spouse accomplish great things. www.abeautifuladventuremarriage.com /episode/index/show/c3261734-b619-47b2-8686-c964546b8c12/id/29801158

Episode 28- The Power of Prayer in Marriage 03/19/2024

Episode 27- 5 Ways to Reconstruct Your Marriage Part 2 02/06/2024

Episode 27- 5 Ways to Reconstruct Your Marriage Part 2 Hello friends, and welcome back! So if you are listening to us right now. I am assuming you have already listened to part 1 of 5 Ways to Reconstruct a Marriage where we gave you the first two ways to get your marriage out of a hard season. Even though there are a lot of ways you can invest in your marriage to get it out of a bad season, we believe these 5 ways work really well in the order we are presenting them, so if you haven't listened to part 1 head on over there and we will be here when you get back! Part 2 of 5 Ways to Reconstruct Your Marrage Repair After you have removed the negative things in your marriage, you will likely need to repair the damage those areas caused. The first things that will need to be repaired will probably be forgiveness and grace. During hard seasons grace is hard to maintain, especially if forgiveness is not present. However, a marriage without grace will not succeed. It will not go the distance. And remember, it’s ok to get help! You do not have to do this on your own. Even after you have reestablished grace and forgiveness there may be other areas in your marriage that need more repairs than you both can handle. In these cases, don’t be ashamed to get help. If it just seems too hard, get a therapist or a pastor to help you repair your marriage. Revive Now is the time to start doing things that will revive your marriage. After you have taken out what has caused the problems, and you have started to repair the broken areas, it’s time to invest in your marriage in ways that will build it back up. You can refer back to the questions you answered from the reset step about what would benefit your marriage to get started with this step. Making investments in your marriage should be something that you do for the rest of your life. When it comes to a relationship you can never be passive and expect a good outcome. Try to find daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly ways to revive your marriage. Rediscovery The final step in this process is to start rediscovering your spouse Whether you have been married for days or years. There is always something new you can learn about them that you didn’t know. There are tons of ways you can start rediscovering your spouse. The main way is to go on dates and simply ask questions. It's amazing where an open conversation can go. Another way to learn something new is to take a personality test. You can find out the way the Lord wired you and your spouse by taking a few tests like Meyers Briggs, the Enneagram, and the Temperaments test. We have taken all of these and have learned so much about each other. www.abeautifuladventuremarriage.com /episode/index/show/c3261734-b619-47b2-8686-c964546b8c12/id/29792553

Episode 26- 5 Ways to Reconstruct Your Marriage Part 1 01/23/2024

Episode 26- 5 Ways to Reconstruct Your Marriage Part 1 Hello Friends, Have you ever been in a season of marriage where nothing seems to be going your way? Does everything you do or say turns into an argument? Instead of your home being a safe place, do you find yourself walking on eggshells every day, trying to avoid conflict? If this sound familiar, the two next episode of our podcast can help. We are going to break down 5 ways you can rescontruct your marriage. There are seasons in marriage that may seem impossible to get through, this is true for everyone. Alex and I have gone through a few of those seasons in our own marriage. However, you and your spouse will have to work together as a team to get through it. I know this is true because that is exactly how we have gotten through our hard seasons. We decide to work together instead of fighting against each other. Every marriage is different and you may have to do a major reconstruction on your marriage, but it’s possible to be happy again. Step 1 in Reconstructing Your Marriage Do a Reset The first step in this reconstruction process will be looking at your marriage and deciding what needs to be reset. You can start the reset process but sitting down with your spouse and going through some questions. What’s not working in our marriage? What are we doing that guarantees an argument will happen? When\where does the conflict occur the most? You can also ask questions during this reset process that can help you and your spouse to move forward. Are there things we use to do, that we have stopped doing? What brought life and laughter into our marriage? Are they still happening? Is there something we could establish that we have never done before? What is something we can do on a regular basis to invest in our marriage? These are just a few questions to get you started. The objective here is to sit down and figure out what needs to change in order to get your marriage into a healthy rhythm that will allow it to grow. Then you can move on to the next step. Step 2 in Reconstructing Your Marriage Remove Anything Causing Conflict After you have looked at the areas that need a reset, now it’s time to figure out what needs to be removed from your marriage. You can start by seeing if the following is happening in your relationship. Criticizing and Complaining If criticism and complaining are normal in your marriage they should be the first two things that you remove. They will cause your marriage to be in a constant negative state, and nothing will change or get better in a negative atmosphere. Another common issue in marriages are… Unrealistic or Uncommunicated Expectations These expectations will only lead to conflict because they can never be fulfilled which leads to resentment and frustration. Do an inventory of what your expectations are, if they are unrealistic, remove them altogether. If your expectations are just uncommunicated, sit down with your spouse and talk through them. Expectations are way more likely to be carried out if you actually communicate them to the person that needs to know them. Just like with the reset option, each marriage is different, so take an honest look at your relationship and decided together what needs to be completely removed so change can come, and then do everything you can to remove them. Join us on our next episode as we give you the other 3 ways you can reconstruct your marriage. www.abeautifuladventuremarriage.com /episode/index/show/c3261734-b619-47b2-8686-c964546b8c12/id/29604638

Episode 25- The Life-Giving Spouse 11/28/2023

Episode 25- The Life-Giving Spouse The Life-Giving Spouse Hello friends, So as Christians we all believe that Jesus is the Son of God however not every Christian culture is exactly the same. Some of you may be very familiar with the term life-giving but there is a possibility that you haven’t heard those particular words, but you may have heard the same message it stands for. Although you will not find the term “life-giving” in the Bible, it is Biblically-based – Let’s break it down. To be “life-giving” means to inspire and encourage others through positive words and behaviors. It’s partnering with someone through word or deed to help them accomplish a goal. It is cheering someone on instead of tearing someone down. We see this Biblical idea multiple times in the Word of God. Therefore encourage (admonish, exhort) one another and edify (strengthen and build up) one another, just as you are doing. – 1 Thessalonians 5:11 And let us consider and give attentive, continuous care to watching over one another, studying how we may stir up (stimulate and incite) to love and helpful deeds and noble activities, not forsaking or neglecting to assemble together [as believers], as is the habit of some people, but admonishing (warning, urging, and encouraging) one another, and all the more faithfully as you see the day approaching. – Hebrews 10:24-25 The Life-Giving Spouse The Word is clear that we are to partner with others to encourage and inspire them. I believe there is no better place to start this practice than in our marriages. We have been given a divine gift and opportunity to be the first and loudest “life-giver” to our spouses. But where do we begin if this is not something you have heard before? Let’s start with two easy steps. 2 Ways To Be The Life-Giving Spouse Be The First Positive Voice They Hear Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and they who indulge in it shall eat the fruit of it [for death or life]. – Proverbs 18:21 So often in marriage, we are the first negative voice our spouse hears. You may not even realize you are doing this. This is something that we should be aware of, and shift from negative to positive. This one shift can change the atmosphere of your marriage. By simply taking negativity out, you can become a life-giving spouse. Whisper Criticism, Shout Praise The second thing you can do to become a life-giving spouse is to whisper criticism, but shout praise. Whisper Criticism If your brother wrongs you, go and show him his fault, between you and him privately. If he listens to you, you have won back your brother. – Matthew 18:15 If you find yourself at a point where you need to say something to your spouse, my first words of advice are to PRAY and then PRAY AGAIN. Yes, we are called to help others to grow according to Matthew 18, but we are not Holy Spirit Junior. Our words carry great weight with our spouses, so be sure you have prayed a lot and asked the Lord for the perfect timing and words for what needs to happen. After that, whisper the criticism. Shout Praise Withhold no good from those to whom it is due [its rightful owners], when it is in the power of your hand to do it. – Proverbs 3:27 Here is the fun one. When your spouse has done something praiseworthy shout it from the rooftops. Call a friend, post it on Facebook, and share it with your family. Let the world know how awesome they are and how thankful you are for them. This has a two-fold reward. First, it builds your spouse up. When a person feels appreciated it, encourages them to continue in the right direction. Second, it shows the world that marriage is a good idea. It shows them that you can be happy, healthy, and married. Change Your Words, Change The World As you can see, our words have the power not only to change our marriages, but it can change the world. People are hurting and looking for hope. When you start loving your spouse well and speaking life to them the people outside of your marriage will notice as well. www.abeautifuladventuremarriage.com /episode/index/show/c3261734-b619-47b2-8686-c964546b8c12/id/28816468

Episode 24- The No Complaining Rule 11/14/2023

Episode 24- The No Complaining Rule The No Complaining Rule Complaining is soomething everyone on the planet does. Although everyone may be doing it, this is something that can impact you, your marriage, and the people around you in a very negative way. The Problem With Complaining And at a glance, complaining appears harmless– it’s just a way to vent. However, complaining can do alot of damage. It makes you constantly aware of the negative. That, in turn, affects your mind and emotions which not only changes you personally, but professionally as well. It doesn’t stop there. It can then affect your immune system, which could lead to health problems. If that wasn’t enough negativity and complaining are contagious. Other people catch “the bug” and the cycle begins in their lives as well. Complaining In Marriage Then, there is your marriage. It is the one thing that probably suffers the most. Your spouse probably gets the majority of the complaining and negativity. Even if it is not geared at them directly, they will be affected by it. The No Complaining Rule If complaining is a problem for you, we recommend Jon Gordon's book, "The No Complaining Rule." We are going to break down some of his steps below but it is a fantastic book. is pretty simple – you don’t complain. But as I am sure you already know, just because something is simple, does not make it easy to do. Do not let unwholesome [foul, profane, worthless, vulgar] words ever come out of your mouth, but only such speech as is good for building up others, according to the need and the occasion, so that it will be a blessing to those who hear [you speak]. – Ephesians 4:29 But again, knowing something and doing it are two very different things. Luckily Jon breaks down this rule in 3 steps that are easy to follow. The “But, [Positive]” Technique Complaining always starts with a negative thought. If we can change our thoughts, we can change the way we speak. When a negative thought pops into your head, add “BUT,” then change it to a positive. For example: My spouse never helps me around the house BUT they are a hard worker and they provide for our family My spouse is always distracted BUT they are taking care of the children and managing our house well These negative thoughts may be the truth, but by adding the positive thought, we can appreciate our spouses for their good qualities. Instead of just complaining about the bad, we can be proactive in building up our spouse like Ephesians 4:29 encourages us to do. Focus On The “Get To” Instead Of The “Have To” How many times a day have we used the phrase “I have to…?” “I have to go to work today. I have to go get groceries. I have to clean the house.” By changing the phrase “I have to” into “I get to” changes our perspective from negative to positive. So some examples of this would be… I get to go to work today, and I am thankful to have a job that supports me and my family I get to go buy groceries today and I am thankful we will have food on the table I get to clean this house and I am thankful for a safe and welcoming place that I can call mine Turn Complaints Into Solutions Not all complaining is bad. There are always things that genuinely need changing and that is especially true in marriage. Marriage is a journey, not a destination. You and your spouse grow as the years go by, but how do we use complaining in a positive way? Jon Gordon calls positive complaining “justified complaining.” This type of complaining identifies a problem, but only to help provide an opportunity to move in the direction of a solution. Justified complaining says, “Yes, we have a problem, now how can we fix it?” – it’s proactive. Bonus tip! Make it fun! Will you mess up and complain? Sure. But hold each other accountable and find ways to make it fun. Include your children and make it a game. Celebrate when someone makes it to the end of the day with complaining. By making this a family activity everyone benefits and it will change the culture of your family. Like marriage, following this rule is a journey, not a destination. Make the journey enjoyable! /episode/index/show/c3261734-b619-47b2-8686-c964546b8c12/id/28628408

Episode 23- Correcting Comparison 10/31/2023

Episode 23- Correcting Comparison Correcting Comparison On our last podcast, we talked about the dangers of comparing ourselves and our marriages to others. We explained that comparison never comes alone. It brings discontentment, resentment, and dishonesty with it. When all of these things are operating in our marriages, conflict, and dysfunction will happen, or at the very least it will be an extremely unhappy relationship. So although comparison seems harmless, it’s not. Let’s look at ways we can correct comparisons in our lives and our marriage. Correcting Comparison The first thing we need to do when it comes to comparison is to take inventory. Take a week or so and really observe your behaviors. When and where do you see comparison happening the most? For most of us, it is on social media but there can be other places as well. Once you have identified the times you are most susceptible, it is time to remove those triggers, and we can do that in several ways. Removing Triggers The first way is to hit the Unfollow Button If there is a certain person(s)/account you are constantly comparing yourself to online it is time to hit the unfollow button. You may not want to unfollow these people but if you are walking away from their feed feeling like you or your marriage does not measure up, unfollowing them is the healthiest thing you can do. Choose Your Friends Wisely Let’s go a step further in this removal process. Do you have “friends” that you are constantly comparing yourself or your marriage to? Do you have “friends” who like to make their life seem absolutely fantastic while making you feel insignificant?I emphasize the word “friends” because if you have this type of person in your life they are NOT your friend. Take a full own Social Media Fast Perhaps unfollowing a few people is all you need to do, if so that’s great. But for some of us, a full-on fast may be in order. To really stop comparing ourselves to others we may need to take a break from social media altogether for a while. Remember we all have different triggers we just touched on a few. The goal here is to remove as many of them as possible, in order to focus on you and your marriage. So, take a few days and really take inventory. Your trigger may not be listed above but if something or someone is affecting you or your marriage negatively it is time to remove it. Find Your Strengths Once we have removed the triggers that have been stealing our joy, it is time to start replenishing our joy. Let’s look at a few ways we can do that. Do Some Evaluation by Asking Questions What are you good at? What are areas you love about yourself/your spouse? Physical, Spiritual, Emotional. What is your spouse good at? Is there something unique about your marriage? What do you love about your spouse and marriage? When we find the answers to these questions we are finding the good about ourselves and our marriages. When we see the good it brings joy. Psalm 139 makes it plain that we were created good! I will give thanks and praise to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; wonderful are Your works, and my soul knows it very well. Speak Gratitude Our final tip for correcting comparison is very simple. Once you have spotted your and your spouse’s strengths, the things you are both good at. Start showing gratitude. Be proud of yourself when you accomplish something you have been working toward. Brag on your spouse when you see them walking in their strength. Be a person that just speaks life over your spouse daily! You will be surprised what consistent affirmation can do for a person! Celebrate the wins when you handle something well that used to be a struggle. There is nothing wrong with spotting the good and speaking up about it. A Life Without Comparison is Possible Comparison is easy to do, but nothing good will come of it. We will be left with discontentment and jealousy if we allow comparison to be a part of our lives. Above are just three steps you can take to correct comparison and start replenishing the joy in your life and marriage, but there are other ways to correct this as well. So find what works for you and make the changes that you need to make to bring joy back to you and your marriage. Remember God made you and your marriage unique! Find that and embrace it! www.abeautifuladventuremarriage.com /episode/index/show/c3261734-b619-47b2-8686-c964546b8c12/id/28470023

Episode 22- The Dangers of Comparison 10/17/2023

Episode 22- The Dangers of Comparison The Dangers of Comparison Comparison is something we have all found ourselves doing from time to time, especially in a social media world. With just a few clicks you are bombarded with the absolute best of everyone’s seemingly perfect lives. We see “perfect” marriages, jobs, kids, spouses, and vacations, and it is easy to compare our lives to the lives of others and feel like we don’t add up in some way. On this episode, we will break down the dangers of comparison and the problems it can bring to your marriage. The Problems with Comparison There are several problems with comparison let’s start with the fact that it is not an accurate measurement. I love what Dave Barringer has to say about it. Comparison takes our deficiencies and measures them against someone else’s highlight reel. ~ Dave Barringer author of The Danger of Comparison in Marriage There is no way you can accurately compare yourself to someone or someone’s marriage because you can not and will not ever see the whole picture of what is going on. Another issue with comparison is it does not factor in our uniqueness. God created us and our spouses with special gifts and abilities… on purpose. He wants us to be original not a remix of someone else He made. The Dangers of Comparison God created each of us with a specific race to run. He gave us the gifts and abilities that we need to finish our race strong. The same is true with our spouses. When we come together as husband and wife we become one. We become the only couple just like us, and that is a beautiful thing. Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us Hebrews 12:1 The danger comes because comparison does not travel alone. Comparison likes to bring his 3 friends to the party. Discontentment When we measure our “real” marriage against the picture-perfect marriage of others it is easy to believe that we fall short. We then start viewing everything about our marriage through the lens of discontentment. Resentment Once discontentment sets in resentment is soon to follow. We resent our spouses for not being like the perfect spouses we see all around us. We start making passive-aggressive comments, or straight-out blunt comments about how we wish they were like so and so. Deception Finally, if this discontentment and resentment are not taken care of people reach out to others. We start lying about who with are with or who we are talking to. Situations like this are how affairs and divorces happen. In our next podcast, we are going to talk about ways to stop comparing ourselves and our marriages to others. www.abeautifuladventuremarriage.com /episode/index/show/c3261734-b619-47b2-8686-c964546b8c12/id/28340933

Episode 21- 6 Ways We Keep Our Love Alive 10/02/2023

Episode 21- 6 Ways We Keep Our Love Alive 6 Ways We Keep Our Love Alive Being married and being happily married are two very different things. There are tons of couples out there who have not gotten a divorce, and may never intend to, but their love died a long time ago. You can see it in their faces and hear it in their words. The passion is gone. They are married but their love has been snuffed out by the demands of life. Love that was once alive and thriving is now seemingly dead. So, on this episode we want to share some ways that Alex and I intentional keep our love alive, in hopes, that you can create your own list and not become the couple I described at the beginning of this episode. Investing in Your Marriage Investing in your marriage does not have to be expensive or time-consuming, but it does need to be consistent. Regardless of the way you chose to invest in your marriage it needs to happen on a regular basis. Alex’s Three Ways to Keep Love Alive Pulling each other to the Father Putting God at the center of your marriage is crucial for a healthy and thriving relationship. Communication Communication is vitally important to a marriage. Nudity Sex is one of the ways you get to experience intimacy in your marriage. By sharing your body with your spouse regularly you keep that intimacy alive in your relationship. Tara’s Three Ways to Keep Love Alive Friendship Alex and I are best friends. We truly love spending time together and just hanging out. Over-Communication We mentioned communication above, and I honestly can’t overstate how important communication is to a marriage. We Prioritize Each Other With the exception of Jesus, we are number one in each others lives. This means if one of us need each other, everything else gets put on pause. We don’t disregard our responsibilities, but we prioritize our best yes in those moments- which is each other. Now It’s Your Turn We challenge you to do the same thing we did. Go to your spouse and ask them this question. “What three things do we do that have kept our love alive?” If your marriage is in a hard season you could ask? What three things should we start doing to revive our love?” Give each other some time to process through the list, and then come back and share your answers with each other. Through this exercise you will learn what is working or what would work. You will find out what is important to your spouse. Then you get to go Your love can be alive and thriving or it can be revived and start to grow again. It just takes some intentionally and consistently. www.abeautifuladventuremarriage.com /episode/index/show/c3261734-b619-47b2-8686-c964546b8c12/id/28205978

Episode 20- Setting Boundaries in Marriage 09/19/2023

Episode 20- Setting Boundaries in Marriage On our last podcast, we talked about We broke down several definitions of boundaries and concluded that when used in a healthy way, boundaries can be beneficial to a marriage in multiple ways and in multiple areas. However, boundaries can be difficult in marriage for multiple reason. Join us on this episode as we share how to set boundaries in two easy steps. Biblical Order Have you ever heard of Biblical order? There is a high possibility that this may be new to you because this is not taught a lot. Biblical order basically sets the order of importance and priority we should show to the relationships in our lives. According to the Biblically model this is how we should prioritize our lives- God, spouse, children, parents, extended family, brothers and sisters in Christ, and then the rest of the world. Some people have issues with the order of this list, but we assure you two things. First, this is Biblical based, and you can find scripture to back this up. Secondly, if you get your relationships in this order of importance by establishing boundaries to protect it, you will find an abundance you didn’t think would be possible. Everyone you come in contact with should get the same version of you, but not everyone desires the same depth of you, and that includes close relationships. Getting your life in spiritual order and then establishing boundaries to maintain that order will help you to be good to everyone but save your depth for those the important people and situations in your life. Setting Healthy Boundaries Step 1: Discuss the “What” and the “Why” To begin with, you and your spouse will have to sit down and have a conversation about the “what and why”. What boundaries do we want set? Why we think they need to be set? This is an especially critical step in the process. Whether you struggle with boundaries or not, it’s easier to work together as a team if you know the “why” behind something. I know that is definitely true for us. Alex and I both do better if we know the why behind something. So let's look at some examples with the list we shared in out previous podcast. In-Laws and other Family Members What? We will not discuss our arguments with our family members? Why? Because being objective is hard for family members and they may not forgive or forget. Communication What? We will not name-call or be demeaning to one another, especially during heated conversations. Why? Because we want to maintain a level of respect and honor in our relationship regardless of the situation. Money What? We will discuss all purchases over X amount prior to making them. Why? Because we both need to be on the same page as far as finances are concerned. Friends and Work Relationship What? Because we spend a great deal of time with these people these relationships will be extremely transparent to our spouses. They can see any and all communication that is made after hours. Why? Because affairs don’t start by accident, protecting our marriage is our top priority not work. Personal What? At least once a month we will do something that brings life to us as an individual. Why? Maintaining close relationships or making time for hobbies is important. Intimacy What? We will stay faithful and only have an intimate relationship with each other. Why? Our marriage is a covenant, and our vows should be honored. Step 2: Don’t Apologize to Anyone for these Boundaries. Once you and your spouse are on the same page. Don’t negotiate, compromise for, or apologize for anyone. There will be people both in your family and in your friend group that do not understand why you and your spouse have these boundaries in place. They don’t have too! They don’t have to understand or agree. If the boundaries are agreed upon between you and your spouse and it is helping your marriage that’s all that matters. /episode/index/show/c3261734-b619-47b2-8686-c964546b8c12/id/28059663

Episode 19- Boundaries in Marriage 09/05/2023

Episode 19- Boundaries in Marriage Boundaries in Marriage Hello friends and welcome to the latest episode of the A Beautiful Adventure Marriage Podcast. So in this episode, we are talking about “boundaries”. Which can be a pretty hard topic to talk about with people because some people love them, some people hate them, while others just don't really care. Boundaries in marriage can be difficult because typically someone who loves boundaries will marry someone who doesn’t. Proving the old saying, “opposites attract” is true. So, in order to help you and your marriage, and possibly prevent issues from causing conflict with your spouse, let’s start by finding out what boundaries really are and see if we can correct any misconceptions. What are Bondaries? If you look up the word “boundary” you will find that it is defined as a line that marks the limit of an area. There are lines that are set and marked well so others will not cross them. Although that is a great definition of boundaries, as I was researching for this episode, I found a lot of good definitions for this controversial word. I wanted to share a few of them here. A boundary in a marriage is the limit of what a person is willing to accept from their partner. Boundaries serve as an outward expression of a person’s core values, beliefs, and reflects what they need to feel safe, respected, and loved. ~April Eldemire A boundary shows me where I end and someone else begins, leading me to a sense of ownership. Knowing what I am to own and take responsibility for gives me freedom. ~Henry Cloud You can even find boundaries in God's Word. Adonai is my portion and my cup. You cast my lot. My boundary lines fall in pleasant places —surely my heritage is beautiful. Psalm 16:5-6 Boundaries in Marriage Boundaries are especially necessary in a marriage. For a marriage to be healthy there are several areas where healthy boundaries can be put into place. Because like April Eldemire said above boundaries define what your limits are, what your core beliefs are, and what you need to feel safe and secure. A few areas where you may want to consider boundaries are- In-Laws and other Family Members (Genesis 2:24)- the Bible tells us to “leave and cleave” and that means our spouse and marriage needs to come first. That includes any family relationship. Can you still honor and spend time with your family? Of course, but they need to be in a proper and healthy position in your life. Communication (Ephesians 4:29)- There needs to be boundaries in the way you talk to and about your spouse, whether that be in an argument or normal conversation. We have “Battle Boundaries” in place in our marriage, but we also have boundaries set up for everyday conversations. You can find how we set up the “Battle Boundaries,” by reading our blog, ““. Money (Hebrews 13:5) – money is the number one source of conflict in a marriage. Setting boundaries can put you and your spouse on the same page with your finances which can bring a great deal of peace into your relationship. Friends and Work Relationship (Proverbs 4:23)- There are some people that we will spend a lot of time with, without our spouse being present. Boundaries should be in place there to protect your heart and your most important relationship. Personal (Psalm 139:14) – Although we are one in marriage, we can still be unique. It’s easy to want to change things about your spouse so boundaries can be put into place to safeguard that from happening. Intimacy (Hebrews 13:4)-Sex and intimacy is a vital part of any marriage. It is important to have conversations about this aspect of marriage and set boundaries that work for both husband and wife. On our next podcast, we are going to break down the areas in marriage where boundaries can be set and show you ways to get them set up and implemented. So if this is an area that needs improvement in your marriage don’t miss our next episode dropping on the 19th! https://abeautifuladventuremarriage.com/boundaries-in-marriage/ /episode/index/show/c3261734-b619-47b2-8686-c964546b8c12/id/27941385

Episode 18- 3 Tips to Established Prayer in Your Marriage 08/23/2023

Episode 17- Developing Spiritual Intimacy 08/08/2023

Episode 17- Developing Spiritual Intimacy Spiritual Intimacy When it comes to marriage you hear the word, intimacy, a lot. Although our minds tend to only think about physical intimacy between a husband and a wife, there is another area in which we can become intimate with each other. Spiritual intimacy is something that is not talked about a lot, but it’s something that can take your marriage to a level you never dreamed possible. Spiritual intimacy is the act of revealing your deepest core values, passions, and beliefs with your spouse and allowing them to do the same. There are countless studies that show the importance of this kind of intimacy and connection, but in very basic terms, spiritual intimacy is the glue that will bond you and your spouse together in the good times when things are going well and especially in the bad times that try to take you down. Ways to Develop Your Spiritual Intimacy in Your Marriage A few months before we went on Sabbatical, Tara started reading the book “” by Chuck Pierce. It’s all about the Jewish calendar, the twelve tribes of Israel, and the early church. It kept referencing another book by Robert Heidler called, “,” which is on the same topic. As we learned about the early church and the Jewish calendar, Alex and I committed to structuring our lives more closely to the Lord’s design, and in the process grew closer together spiritually. Here’s what we have started doing. Weekly Sabbaths Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy. Exodus 20:8 Saturday Morning Reading All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work. 2 Timothy 3:16-17 We use the . It gives you weekly readings that allow you to read the entire Bible through. Daily Prayer Time Do not be anxious about anything—but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. Philippians 4:6 Intentional and Strategic Giving Let each one give as he has decided in his heart, not grudgingly or under compulsion—for God loves a cheerful giver. 2 Corinthians 9:7 Find Your Own Rhythm Spiritual intimacy takes time to build but it’s worth the time you invest in it. You may not be able to do all the things all at once. Tara and I started small and built up as we went. We are still adding and adjusting things to make it unique and life-giving to our marriage. We encourage you to do the same. If you have any questions about the resources we linked or more detail on how we walk this out, please send us a message on our website or any of our social media sites. We would love to share this journey with you. www.abeautifuladventuremarriage.com /episode/index/show/c3261734-b619-47b2-8686-c964546b8c12/id/27687681

Episode 16- 6 Travel Tips from the Paynes 07/25/2023

Episode 16- 6 Travel Tips from the Paynes Travel Tips from the Payne’s Tip 1: Research the Area The first step on any adventure is picking your destination. Once you have done that the real work (and fun) begins. It is time to research the area to see what it has to offer. Alex is fantastic at this. We have traveled all over the lower 48. We always pack in as much as we can during our vacation time. The reason we are able to do so much is because Alex researches the area and knows where to find the things we wanted to see. Tip 2: Set Non-Negotiables Like I said above, we are not always able to hit every single thing we want to see and do, because of that, we have learned to set non-negotiables. These are things that take priority. They have to happen. Now disclaimer- you have to fully and clearly communicate the non-negotiables- don’t just assume your spouse knows. And this is something you can do as a family, but it is also something that you can do if you travel with friends. Everyone can be apart of setting the non-negotiables. You can also do this for the same trips as well. Tip 3: Do something JUST BECAUSE A plan is great, but don’t forget to do something just because you want to. Maybe a random thought pops in your head while you are on vacation. Go for it. Sometimes the best memories come from a random thought or coming up on something you did not know was there. The JUST BECAUSE moments are great and make for some really good stories. Tip 4: Take Some Friends with You Alex and I have vacationed alone and we have vacationed with friends! We enjoy both and encourage you to do both as well. Our only really encouragement here is to be very selective about who you travel with. It can be the difference between a beautiful adventure or a complete disaster. You want to make sure that you travel with like minded people or it will be hard to have an enjoyable time. Tip 5: Be Prepared for Detours Just like in life, sometimes you have to take a detour on vacations. We cannot always anticipate everything that can knock us off course. During those moments of detours, we need to either prepared or have the tools to help us manage the detour. Tip 6: Invite the Father Along Before we leave on a trip we always pray the same prayer. “Abba, meet us there. Show us wild and beautiful things and speak to us in ways that only we will understand.” It’s such a short little prayer but we have experienced SO MUCH because of it. When you invite God into anything He comes and brings awesome things with Him. What Works for Travel Works for Marriage These are just a few things Alex and I do to ensure that we will have a great vacation. The great news is- what works for travel works for marriage. You can take these travel tips, apply them to your relationship, and in time your marriage can be the most beautiful adventure you have ever been on. /episode/index/show/c3261734-b619-47b2-8686-c964546b8c12/id/27557826

Episode 15- 5 Ways for Your Marriage to Thrive this Summer 07/11/2023

Episode 15- 5 Ways for Your Marriage to Thrive this Summer Summer is officially here. Although this is a great time to spend with your family, it can also be a time that cause strain on your marriage. With the kids out of school, and fun to be had by all, it’s easy to fill your calendar to the absolute max. If you aren’t careful your marriage can feel the effects of this. It can come to the point where you and your spouse are like two ships that pass in the night. That weakens connection. Here at A Beautiful Adventure Marriage, we are all about adventure and fun, but not at the expense of your relationship. Join us on this podcast as we look at 5 ways to have fun this summer, enjoy your kids, but still keep your connection as husband and wife. 5 Ways for Your Marriage to Thrive this Summer Don’t over-commit yourself or your family Sit down and have a discussion as husband and wife to figure out what your capacity is this summer. After you and your spouse have the chance to sit down together, then include the kids. Another way you can keep your calendar free is to limit the number of activities per week. Its Ok to Tell Your Kids… No Honestly, kids need to see what a good marriage is more than they need to do every single activity that comes up. Schedule Regular Date Nights Dating is one of the best ways to keep connection and intimacy alive in your marriage. Share in each Other’s Interest and Hobbies. I believe everyone has more fun when they know they will get a turn to choose what is done. Have Weekly Check Ins You and your spouse will have to work together as a team for this to be successful. Have Fun this Summer By the time fall gets here, you don’t want to be exhausted with little to show for it. Doing everything we mentioned above may take a little work on the front end, but this work will help you and your family to have an amazing summer. Our prayer is that you and your family will end summer closer than when you went into it. www.abeautifuladventuremarriage.com /episode/index/show/c3261734-b619-47b2-8686-c964546b8c12/id/27417279

Episode 14- Creating a Healthy Marriage Culture 06/27/2023

Episode 14- Creating a Healthy Marriage Culture Culture. This may or may not be a word that you are familiar with, especially in your marriage. Honestly, this was not a word used a lot in our household until the last few years; however, by being intentional about creating a healthy marriage culture, our relationship has thrived. Four Ways to Co-Create the Marriage Culture You Want? A healthy culture does not happen organically. Effort and intentionality are the key ingredients when creating your culture. Alex made it clear that if we don’t create our culture it will become what we tolerate. It’s what we allow to happen in our marriage. We can be passive and allow anything and everything into our marriages, or we can be intentional and co-create a culture conducive to health, growth, and happiness. Start with a Family Meeting One person cannot create the culture in your marriage. When one person comes in and starts throwing all kinds of rules at people, they will rebel against them. Make this a family activity. By doing this together, you will find out what is important to everyone. If everyone is on board it will make things a lot easier. Co-Create Rituals As a family talk through some things that will be expected on a regular basis. These should be clear and simple things, to begin with. Co-create values, mission, and purpose for your marriage How do we create values, mission, and purpose? You have to start by finding out what is important to you and your family. You can do this by asking yourself and your family these questions. What do you want people to say about your marriage and family? Do you want your marriage to be known for its kindness? Would you like your children to be known for how respectful they are to others? Do you want your family to be mission-minded and active in the community? There are so many more questions that could be asked here, but use these as a starting point. Co-create a Culture Board Then the Lord answered me and said, “Write the vision and engrave it plainly on [clay] tablets so that the one who reads it will run. Habakkuk 2:2 Find a way to keep your culture visible to everyone. Write it out and put it on the refrigerator. Get creative as a family and create a culture board. Design a family seal that reminds you who you are. Whatever it takes to make it plain so everyone can help create it, and walk it out. The goal is to get everyone on the same page so your culture can thrive and so can your marriage and family. www.abeautifuladventuremarriage.com /episode/index/show/c3261734-b619-47b2-8686-c964546b8c12/id/27283776

Episode 13- Technology and Your Marriage 06/13/2023

A Beautiful Adventure Marriage

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