How to Make Time to Care for Yourself with Self Care and Boundaries
Release Date: 05/26/2020
Secondary Caregivers Relieving Primary Caregivers Through Circles of Care
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How can building a circle of care around yourself help you continue to deliver the best care? Even the most devoted and capable caregiver needs support in their role. From weekends away to help around the house, letting another caregiver take some of the demands off your plate keeps you well enough, in body and mind, to continue your important work. Greer Rosequist has plenty of experience being a caregiver, from her former career as a nurse in long-term and palliative communities to offering respite to her sisters, who provide daily care for their mother. This experience led her to a...
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Juggling Roles: Finding Balance When Caring for a Parent
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How do you navigate the transition from child to caregiver of a parent while supporting both their dignity and your own wellness? Caring for an aging or ill parent comes with countless responsibilities, from prepping meals and scheduling medication to attending appointments and much more. While this shift to caregiver is, in some ways, a natural progression, it also requires you to navigate into a new relationship with your parent. As such, you need to learn how to balance respect and consent for their desires with your own health and happiness. Roma Palmer is a registered clinical...
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Caregiving for a Partner: Intimacy Reimagined
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How do you maintain an intimate relationship when you become a caregiver for your spouse or partner? Sharing life as a couple means facing and overcoming countless challenges. For so many, the ultimate challenge begins when an illness is uncovered, and one of you must become a caregiver to the other. Rene faced this transition when her husband of 20 years was diagnosed with Parkinsons in his mid-40s. In the two decades since his diagnosis, the couple has navigated a dramatic shift in household and relationship responsibilities and must constantly work at alternative ways to maintain intimacy...
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Planning Life's Final Choices: A Guide to End-of-Life Dialogue
Caregivers Out Loud
How do you begin the difficult dialogue around end-of-life wishes for your care recipient? When you are the caregiver for someone whose health is declining, the reality of death can be overshadowing and feel frightening to acknowledge. So often, it’s as though we fear that simply speaking about death will speed it to our door. Karla Kerr, a funeral director and death doula in Victoria, BC, sees things differently. She approaches conversations with families who are facing or have just experienced death in an exploratory and compassionate way that recognizes death is inevitable. Respecting and...
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Supporting Young Caregivers: The Overlooked Caregiver Demographic
Caregivers Out Loud
What difficulties develop when a child becomes a caregiver to their own parent? Studies show that young caregivers make up at least 12% of Canadian youth. One of these young people is Kristie Mar. At just 16 years old, Kristie set aside a significant part of her adolescence to become the sole carer for her mother, who was navigating schizophrenia and anorexia. The medical professionals, counsellors, and groups from whom she sought assistance, however, never gave her the title of “caregiver.” As such, it took her years to think of herself in this way or discover the resources that...
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A Contemporary Approach to Palliative and Hospice Care for Family Caregivers and Their Recipients
Caregivers Out Loud
How can you build a healthier relationship with death and dying that will benefit both caregiver and recipient? Aaron Yukich is an end-of-life doula, mindfulness practitioner, and hospice care worker. In his work with the Family Caregivers of BC Caregiver Support Line, Aaron incorporates meaning-making and self-reflection into his sessions with caregivers, helping them uncover new ways to provide support to their care recipients without overlooking their own well-being. The end-of-life process has many varied aspects. Aaron helps caregivers navigate this intricate spiritual and emotional...
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How Brooke Ellison Maintains Dignity and Individuality as a Full-Time Care Recipient
Caregivers Out Loud
How would you retain your sense of self if you required full-time care? When Brooke Ellison was 11 years old, a car accident left her a ventilator-dependent quadriplegic. Her mother Jean stepped into the role of full-time caregiver, and their familial and caregiving relationship balance has continued for over thirty years. Dr. Brooke Ellison graduated from Harvard, wrote two memoirs, and is a frequent public speaker on resilience, leadership, and hope. In this episode, she reflects on her experiences as a care recipient—both then and now. Specifically, Brooke shares how she navigates...
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Full-Time Caregiver and Mother: How Jean Ellison Balances Two Essential Roles
Caregivers Out Loud
How do you honour both yourself and your family member when giving full-time care? In this episode, Jean Ellison speaks about her experience as a full-time caregiver to her daughter, Brooke, whose story of life as a ventilator-dependent quadriplegic is well-known and inspirational. For more than 30 years, Jean Ellison has balanced the roles of full-time caregiver and mother. While it was always clear to Jean that Brooke would live at home and not in a care facility, accepting her new reality and career trajectory was not a simple process. Jean strives to find happiness and laughter in every...
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Financial Decision Making for Caregivers with Shannon Lee Simmons
Caregivers Out Loud
At some point in our lives, we’ll all be faced with a tough decision we didn’t see coming. In most caregiving situations, people enter the caregiving role with love and passion. Then pretty soon, they begin to see some of the bigger implications, such as how finances are a big factor in the choices that affect the care recipient OR the caregiver themself. In today’s episode, we chat with Shannon Lee Simmons, a Certified Financial Planner and the author of a new book “No Regret Decisions: Making Good Choices During Difficult Times”, to tackle some of the anxiety and emotional stress...
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Caregiving From a Distance - a Long Distance Care Panel
Caregivers Out Loud
Many caregivers are supporting care recipients from a long distance. This form of caregiving brings with it a unique set of challenges as we try to provide support from afar. In this episode, Bill guides a panel of long distance caregivers, Mary Chan, Karla Wilson, and Victoria Lougheed, through a dynamic conversation filled with positive energy and laughter. The foursome came together to talk about their challenges of caring while not being able to physically be there, and to share some insights including some beautiful moments along the path that have made their caregiving journey a...
info_outlineWhen was the last time you felt truly rested? For caregivers, making time for self-care can feel almost impossible with all the other demands on your time. And yet, it is an essential skill to learn in your role as a caregiver. In our final episode of the season, we look to why self-care is a fundamental part of being a caregiver. As a caregiver, you are often willing to make sacrifices and feel a sense of commitment. However, without self-care, how can you sustain caring for your family or friend and not run the risk of burning out?
Highlights
- 2:38 How to find balance and have boundaries to fit your life.
- The reality of the burden of caregiving impacting other relationships.
- Why it’s a myth that enough self care will offset how much energy caregiving takes.
- 5:37 The importance of filling up a caregiver’s own gas tank.
- Having the ability to see and hear yourself and show yourself some compassion.
- How 92% of caregivers find caregiving rewarding, but that there are high levels of distress.
- 12:35 The difference between running a marathon and a sprint in caregiving.
- The importance of being together versus the tasks of doing things.
- How deciding that your own well being is important to accept self care.
- Why laughter creates resilient caregivers.
- 18:13 Learn about the elements of caregiving.
- How knowing about anticipatory grief is a proactive step in caregiving.
- The difficulty of juggling what to do now versus letting go of tasks.
- How care giving is one of the biggest social phenomenons in our society.
- Caregiver needs are not the same, but there are common elements.
Quotes
“Self care at its basis is being able to see and hear yourself and show yourself some compassion for how difficult it is.” - Jodie
“Your self care can be absolutely on point and you can still sometimes feel overwhelmed. That's just part of caregiving sometimes.” - Jodie
“You don't ever imagine that it's going to be like this. And yet, it can get so much better. It's accepting what's there every day and finding ease in it.” - Deanna
“If I were to look back and think about caregiving, it would be to really understand the feelings and emotions that you are going to go through no matter what, at different times than other people, and to learn about them. That's one tremendous gift that you could give yourself as a caregiver.” - Barb
“The tasks will always be there but the person won't.” - Barb
“It can save your life. It can be your lifeline. It can be that piece that just keeps you able to do this important life work for the person or people that need the care.” - Deanna on asking caregivers to reach out to get support
Links Mentioned In the Episode
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Family Caregivers of BC Website
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Hours are Monday through Friday, 8:30 am and 4:00 pm.
Telephone: (250) 384-0408
Toll-Free Line Within BC: 1-877-520-3267
Fax: (250) 361-2660
Email: [email protected]
Thank you!
BC Ministry of Health - Patients as Partners Initiative