#3 - How To Increase Your Personal Magnetism

The What, Why, and How of Personal Magnetism

 

Hello, my dear Braveheart. Hope you are having a really good day so far. Before I begin, I want you to know that I have two gifts for you which I will share with you at the end of the show. So please stay with me until the end. Thank you. Now that I am done with announcements, let’s get on with this episode. And, the topic for the day is personal magnetism.

You and I are social creatures, and one of the things that make us the happiest is having others around us to connect with. Even if you say I like animals more than people, you are happier when you have a human to share your animal with, don’t you?

Now you and I both have a few relations, personal or professional we struggle with. Let’s explore how can we make them better. The topic for the day is personal magnetism or in other words, it’s your attraction factor.

Another word for personal magnetism is charisma. And, Marianne Williamson has something wonderful to say to describe charisma. According to Williamson “charisma is the sparkle in people that money can’t buy. It’s an invisible energy with visible effects.”

Now, how profound is that?

Did you know that charismatic people are not born? It’s a skill learned by many in order to lead a successful life. Before I get into how personal magnetism can be developed, let me share with you why it needs to be developed if you must succeed and feel loved by others in your life, be happy, healthy, peaceful, and prosperous.

You could be a very kind-hearted person who knows what you are talking about and yet after people get what they need from you they leave you.

Or you may have experienced initial success and happiness in your life and now you wonder what happened over the years and how can you turn the clock back.

Everyone has their own reason for needing to be more charismatic and develop their personal magnetism. Things never stay the same, they either get better or worse. And, even if you believe that you are the best that ever existed, you still need to work at continuing to be the best. When you take things for granted you might slip and not know when you lost your first position to another.

So, how do you increase your personal magnetism? First, you have to know who you are. Are you a kind person or a competent person or you may be both? And if you are, kudos! Pat your shoulder and congratulate yourself.

Here’s another question. Do people find you friendly when they meet you or feel intimidated by you? You might consider yourself generous and affectionate to those close to you, but someone else who is the life of a party continuously keeps stealing the show. You might be fun to be around but when it comes to business someone else gets all the inquiries and signed contracts. Why?

So it’s important to know how you come across to others. Get a fact check from your coach, mentor, or anyone who loves you enough to tell you the truth without the fear of losing your love.

Make a list of what you are good at that can get better, and another list of what you need to work on to increase your personal magnetism.

Personal magnetism or charisma is a combination of warmth and competence.

There are many ways to improve your charisma. If being warm and friendly is a challenge then think of happy memories with a loved one before you begin a conversation with anyone. Lean in when you want to be friendly and lean back when you want to prove a point. Be mindful of your posture, it takes practice and you can do it.

Here’s another exercise. Look at the mirror and try feeling both positive and negative emotions and notice how your facial expression changes with each emotion. When you are talking to a person and you are feeling a certain emotion, remember your facial expression is reflecting your emotion. Again, with practice, and mindfulness you can master this art.

Look at the other person with an unbiased gaze and authentic smile. If judgments are running amok in your head know that the other person can sense it.  

And, if you feel you are getting interrupted while speaking, remember listening is part of the conversation too. Compassionate listening and loving speech make you an attractive person.

Also, when you tilt your head in one direction, blood flows to the other side of the brain. So, tilt your head in both directions to come across as a friendly person. Also, keep your arms uncrossed even when you are on the phone.

When you are communicating, words are 7% and tonality is 38% of the conversation while body language is 55%. Start any conversation with something light, positive and neutral. Ask questions that you know people will agree with in their responses.

e.g. say something like “aren’t we having great weather?” and let your audience agree with you. But if you feel the weather is bad, don’t ask this question. You can ask something like “tell me something exciting about your week or day so far”.

Lean into the positive even when you are consoling someone who just lost a loved one. Tell them you are there for them and ask what can you help with. Be vulnerable and authentic.

Last but not least be both humble and confident. Don’t brag, and don’t play small.

Always start a conversation with something light and positive. Optimize the words you use with both warmth and competence, reminding others that you know your stuff and that you also care about them.

Let me know in the comments section if you have any questions or what you loved about this talk and if in any way at any time I could help you with something.

Thank you for sticking out until the end. I have two free gifts for you. One is a 33page colored ebook on creating success in any area of your life which you can download from coachkeya.com/success

The second gift is to learn how to podcast from my podcasting coach who has sponsored this episode. You can receive this gift from coachkeya.com/learntopodcast

Both the links are in the show notes.

Until next time, with all the love and light within me, I humbly bow to the love and light that is you. Blessings and bye for now.

Free Gift#1 CoachKeya.com/Success

Free Gift#2 CoachKeya.com/LearnToPodcast