Ep 158: The Wounded Blue: Never Forgotten. Never Alone.
Code4Couples
When Lieutenant Randy Sutton first put on the badge in 1976, policing looked a lot different. Officers could do their jobs without the constant scrutiny of a body camera or the looming fear of public backlash. They were respected. Supported. And even though the job was always dangerous, the culture surrounding officers, both inside and outside the department, wasn’t laced with suspicion and hostility. Fast forward to today, and that landscape has shifted dramatically. And for law enforcement families, the weight of that shift is deeply personal.
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Ep 157: Sleep Hygiene for First Responders: Why Sleep Health Matters in First Responder Relationships
Code4Couples
Sleep can feel like a luxury in law enforcement. Between shift work, court schedules, overtime, and home responsibilities, rest often gets pushed to the bottom of the priority list. But here's the truth that people don’t frequently discuss. Your sleep (or lack of it) impacts EVERYTHING: your mood, your health, your safety, your marriage, and even how long you’ll be around to enjoy retirement. Sleep psychologist and author Leah Elizabeth Kaylor breaks down the importance of sleep health for first responders. Leah’s been the go-to sleep expert for the FBI and is...
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Ep 156: Breaking Down The Armor and The Mental Health Stigma in Law Enforcement
Code4Couples
Law enforcement teaches officers how to handle chaos, make quick decisions, and keep emotions in check to get the job done. But what happens when that same skill set that keeps officers safe on duty starts to create distance at home? For Zachary Saenz, that emotional armor was a survival tool, something he didn’t even realize he was putting on. It helped him push through the hard calls, the trauma, and the stress of being a police officer. But over time, the same armor that protected him from the job started shutting out the person he loved most. His story is one that many...
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Ep 155: Undercover Junkie: When the Job Becomes the Rush
Code4Couples
When Brent Cartwright became an undercover narcotics officer, he told his wife, Wesley, that it would be safer. "Bad guys don’t want trouble. They just want your money and to get out of there," he reassured her. After years of unpredictable patrol work, undercover assignments seemed like a shift toward stability, more controlled environments, fewer calls involving guns. Wesley trusted him. She believed he was making the best decision for his career and their family. But what Brent didn’t realize at the time was that he wasn’t just doing the job, he was becoming it. The rush of working...
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Ep 154: Breaking the Silence: How Copline Supports Law Enforcement Officers and Their Families
Code4Couples
In the world of law enforcement, the weight of the job extends far beyond being on duty. Officers carry the burdens of the job home, often struggling with the effects of trauma, hypervigilance, and emotional exhaustion. Yet, despite being problem-solvers for others, many find it challenging to seek help for themselves. That's where Copline steps in, a totally confidential, genuinely non-profit, 24/7 peer support line designed exclusively for law enforcement officers, retirees, and their families. 1-800-COPLINE (267-5463) For more information, visit .
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Ep 153: Dumpster Fire Days: Navigating the Chaos Together in Law Enforcement Relationships
Code4Couples
Ideally, officers coming home would be able to have 20 to 30 minutes to decompress before engaging with the family, but we all know that sometimes that's just not realistic. Your spouse has a life, a full -time job, manages the household and when you're not there, your family has their own business and their own chaos. Heck, maybe the officer parent is the parent who's doing all the parent pickups or bath time, or maybe your spouse travels for work. Real life dictates that as a couple, you're not always going to be able to put the officer's need to decompress ahead of life. Real life dictates...
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Ep 152: When Command Presence Comes Homes
Code4Couples
Let’s be honest, relationships can be tough. Add the challenges of a high-stress job like lawenforcement, and things can get even more complicated. If you’ve ever had a disagreement where your officer partner seemed togo into "work mode"—commanding, controlling, and all business—you’re not alone. And officers, maybe you’ve found yourself looking back on an argument wondering why you acted like you were on duty instead of at home. This is what’scalled **authoritarian spillover**, and it’s something many law enforcement couples face. Let’s break it down, talk about the...
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Ep 151: Hypervigilance at Home
Code4Couples
Coming home after a long shift as a law enforcement officer should feel like a relief—a return to safety and family. Yet, for many officers and their spouses, this transition is anything but smooth. Hypervigilance, a critical survival mechanism on the job, often spills over into home life, creating tension and disconnection in relationships. Understanding hypervigilance and its impact on your family is the first step to maintaining a strong, connected relationship. Here, we’ll explore the problem and offer practical solutions for both officers and their spouses.
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Ep 150: Building Connection Through Appreciation: A Law Enforcement Family Perspective
Code4Couples
January 9th marks Law Enforcement Appreciation Day—a moment to honor the men and women who protect and serve our communities. However, as we express gratitude for officers, it's crucial to also recognize the families who sacrifice and serve alongside them. Appreciation is not only for special occasions; it’s an essential practice that strengthens the bonds between officers and their loved ones. Host, Cyndi Doyle, explores the science of appreciation, its role in fostering connection, and actionable ways to incorporate it into everyday life.
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Ep 149: Relationship Resolutions for Law Enforcement Couples
Code4Couples
The start of a new year is the perfect time to set goals—not just for personal growth, but for your relationship as well. For law enforcement couples, the challenges of hypervigilance, shift work, stress, and balancing dual careers can create unique roadblocks to connection and communication. Without proactive strategies, these challenges can lead to misunderstandings, emotional distance, and even burnout. But there’s good news: small, intentional changes can have a big impact. Below, we outline five powerful resolutions specifically designed for law enforcement couples to strengthen their...
info_outlineWe have all worked in a toxic work environment due to the workplace culture, co-workers, supervisors, or the work itself.
Stephanie Kiesow is a former law enforcement officer, cop kid, and cop’s wife. She saw how work impacted her parents, their mood, and in turn the family. She started her career in law enforcement at 18 and in 2011, when her fiancé had a pending IA, lost him to death by suicide. This kicked off what Stephanie calls her obsessive curiosity about suicide and how the workplace contributes to the permanent decision.
Stephanie is currently working on her PhD in Organizational psychology. Through her research and education, she found contributing workplace factors that impact mental health and cause death in a perceptual sense or literal sense and coined the term workicide.
Stephanie’s goal is to help people mitigate a work-related decline in their mental health and increase their overall well-being so they can enjoy work and love life. She has written the book Workicide to help others do just that.
This is a deep topic but you will want to hear her research and her solutions for our law enforcement culture.
LinkedIn: Stephanie K.