Code4Couples
Code4Couples is the premiere podcast for law enforcement relational health hosted by Cyndi Doyle, author of Hold the Line: The Essential Guide to Protecting Your Law Enforcement Relationship, psychotherapist, and a law enforcement spouse working to educate officers and spouse on the impact of law enforcement on their relationship for them to counter the impact and create connected and resilient relationships. She is the author and creator of Hold the Line products including a train the trainer program for departments. Contact Cyndi for speaking, training for your organization or department, or bulk orders of books at info@code4couples.com
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The 5 Gifts Law Enforcement Relationships Actually Need This Christmas
12/18/2025
The 5 Gifts Law Enforcement Relationships Actually Need This Christmas
Every holiday season, law enforcement families feel the pressure to give the perfect gift. But what if the gifts that matter most cannot be wrapped? In this episode of the Code4Couples Podcast, Cyndi Doyle shares five relationship gifts that truly support law enforcement couples, especially during stressful seasons and into the new year. These are not trendy ideas or quick fixes. They are foundational practices that strengthen connection, resilience, and emotional safety at home. Drawing from personal experience as a police spouse, clinical work with first responder couples, and years of listening to what actually helps relationships survive and thrive, Cyndi explores: ✔ Why physical and emotional health matter more than ever ✔ How affection rebuilds connection in high-stress homes ✔ The power of curiosity instead of assumptions ✔ Why time reflects values and priorities ✔ How gratitude rewires the law enforcement brain and protects relationships This episode is a reminder that real gifts are lived, not purchased. 🎄 Whether you are an officer, spouse, or partner, this conversation invites you to reflect, reset, and recommit to the relationship that matters most. 📘 🎤 Bring Cyndi to Your Department: 👉 Timestamps 00:00 Holiday pressure and why gifts miss the mark 02:05 The inspiration behind the five gifts 04:10 Gift #1: Health, physical and emotional 10:30 Gift #2: Affection and everyday connection 14:20 Gift #3: Curiosity and staying interested 18:10 Gift #4: Time and intentional choices 22:15 Gift #5: Gratitude and the law enforcement brain 30:10 Christmas Gift Pledge for couples 34:20 Choosing one gift to focus on this year 36:00 Closing reflections and holiday message
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Ep 173: Resolving Conflict in your Law Enforcement Marriage
12/04/2025
Ep 173: Resolving Conflict in your Law Enforcement Marriage
Conflict hits differently in law enforcement families. Hypervigilance, shift work, emotional shutdown, and missed holidays can slowly chip away at connection. Jimmy and Angie Cash know that firsthand. Their story includes a blended family, years of slow disconnect, a marriage crash, separation, and a complete rebuild that now helps thousands of first responder couples. In this conversation, Jimmy and Angie walk through how their marriage drifted into resentment and distance, how hypervigilance affected connection, how unmet needs kept getting misread as criticism, and the major crash that forced them to reassess everything. They share the exact skills, mindset shifts, and conflict resolution tools that helped them repair emotional intimacy, communicate safely, and build a stronger marriage than ever.Law enforcement relationships face unique pressure. High-alert brains, sleep disruption, trauma exposure, blended family stress, and “there is no good time to talk about it” patterns create slow relational erosion. This episode shows that a marriage can come back from resentment, distance, and even separation when couples have the right skills and support. KEY TOPICS COVERED ✓ Hypervigilance and emotional withdrawal at home ✓ The drift into resentment in first responder marriages ✓ How unmet needs hide inside everyday complaints ✓ The role of repentance, repair, and ownership in rebuilding trust ✓ How to de-weaponize conflict conversations ✓ Skills that help couples listen, connect, and repair ✓ Why couples wait an average of seven years to ask for help ✓ Daily practices that rebuild emotional intimacy WHO THIS EPISODE IS FOR • Law enforcement spouses and partners • First responder couples navigating distance or disconnection • Officers who feel numb, overwhelmed, or checked out • Couples recovering from betrayal or crisis • Anyone wanting practical tools to reconnect, communicate, and repair Read the book that has helped thousands of first responder couples: Hold the Line: The Essential Guide to Protecting Your Law Enforcement Relationship Bring Code4Couples training to your department: 00:00 Welcome and introduction 01:00 Jimmy and Angie’s origin story 03:00 Blended family dynamics 07:00 Shift work, missed holidays, and slow disconnection 10:00 Emotional intimacy vs physical intimacy 12:30 Hypervigilance and the home fallout 14:00 Brotherhood, secrecy, and resentment 16:00 “We were good until we weren’t” 18:00 The crash and separation 20:00 Live the Life: the turning point 22:00 Unmet needs and how couples misread them 25:00 How officers can hear “we need help” differently 28:00 The emotional adult vs the emotional teenager 29:00 Repentance, repair, and genuine ownership 32:00 The shift that rebuilt their marriage 34:00 “Taking Out the Trash” emotional processing tool 36:30 How to handle conflict when there’s “no good time” 39:00 The dangerous drift into disconnection 41:00 Live the Life programs and Hope Weekend 44:00 Final encouragement for first responder couples
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Ep 172: When Doing Your Job Hurts: Understanding Moral Injury in First Responders
11/13/2025
Ep 172: When Doing Your Job Hurts: Understanding Moral Injury in First Responders
Trauma-informed relationships start with understanding moral injury, the stress that blindsides even the strongest first responders. In this episode, we break down how moral injury shows up in first responder work and why it impacts families long after the shift ends. What you’ll learn: • How “non-traumatic” calls can still create deep wounds • The difference between guilt, shame, burnout, and moral injury • Why first responder stress builds over time and spills into relationships • What partners can do to help and why peer support matters • Practical steps to rebuild connection and emotional stability Cyndi Doyle is a licensed professional counselor supervisor, founder of Code4Couples®, author of Hold the Line, and a retired police spouse. She helps law enforcement and first responder couples stay connected, resilient, and grounded in their relationship. 👉 Primary CTA — Get the book: Hold the Line: The Essential Guide to Protecting Your Law Enforcement Relationship https:/*/www.amazon.com/Hold-Line-Protecting-Enforcement-Relationship-ebook/dp/B08TPRTY9G#customerReviews 👉 Speaking / Booking: Bring Cyndi to your department or conference → 00:00 Welcome to Code4Couples 01:00 Meet Ashley: Paramedic to counselor 04:00 When your body says “no more” 07:00 The pressure to hide emotional struggle 10:00 The call that changed everything 14:00 When moral injury hits without warning 18:00 Guilt, shame, and the stories we create 22:00 How moral injury shows up like trauma 28:00 Cynicism, compassion fatigue, and burnout 32:00 What healing actually looks like 39:00 Stress in the body vs. stress in your mind 44:00 Supporting your first responder partner 47:00 Peer support as a lifeline 49:00 How to find Ashley + additional resources 51:00 Final thoughts and takeaway
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Ep 171: When Trauma Doesn't Stay Boxed Up
10/30/2025
Ep 171: When Trauma Doesn't Stay Boxed Up
Law enforcement stress doesn’t just stay on the job, it can come crashing into family life. Retired Detective Jody Thompson shares how a personal crisis brought years of hidden trauma to the surface and how he and his wife found a path to healing. Short Episode Summary In this episode, Detective (ret.) Jody Thompson opens up about the personal crisis that nearly cost him his wife during childbirth — a moment that triggered suppressed memories from years of responding to traumatic calls. You’ll hear: How suppressed trauma can resurface years later The impact of cumulative stress on officers and families How Jody and his wife navigated recovery together Why younger officers need to face trauma early, not bury it Practical ways law enforcement couples can talk, heal, and grow stronger Hosted by Cyndi Doyle — licensed professional counselor, author of Hold the Line, and founder of Code4Couples®. Cyndi helps first responder couples strengthen relationships and build resilience against the unique challenges of law enforcement life. 📖 Grab Cyndi’s book Hold the Line: The Essential Guide to Protecting Your Law Enforcement Relationship → 🎤 Book Cyndi to speak or train with your department → 00:00 – Introduction & Jody’s background 04:30 – The childbirth crisis that changed everything 10:00 – Nightmares and resurfacing trauma 18:00 – Law enforcement marriage under pressure 25:00 – Choosing to leave the job for family 32:00 – Advice for young officers on handling trauma 39:00 – Closing thoughts & message of hope
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Ep 170: Alcohol and First Responder Culture
10/16/2025
Ep 170: Alcohol and First Responder Culture
Police officer mental health and alcohol use are deeply connected, but most families don’t know what signs to watch for. Alcohol is often normalized in law enforcement culture, but for many officers and families, it quietly becomes a coping mechanism for trauma, stress, and identity loss. In this Code4Couples Podcast episode, Cyndi Doyle is joined by retired police officer and peer support leader Joe Rizzuti for an honest conversation about alcohol use, addiction, and mental health in first responders. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why alcohol is commonly used as a coping mechanism in policing Signs alcohol may be becoming a problem for officers or spouses How trauma and job culture fuel unhealthy coping behaviors What peer support and culturally competent mental health care actually look like Cyndi Doyle is a licensed professional counselor supervisor, author of Hold the Line, and founder of Code4Couples®, specializing in mental health and relationship support for law enforcement and first responder families. 📘 Get the book: Hold the Line, Protecting Law Enforcement Relationships 👉 https://www.amazon.com/Hold-Line-Protecting-Enforcement-Relationship-ebook/dp/B08TPRTY9G#customerReviews 🎤 Training & Speaking Requests: 👉 00:00 Introduction and guest background 03:45 Alcohol culture in law enforcement 07:30 Trauma and alcohol as a coping mechanism 12:40 Signs alcohol is becoming a problem 18:10 Peer support and culturally competent care 24:30 Retirement, isolation, and suicide risk 30:00 How families can start the conversation
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Ep 169: Raising Strong Kids: Resilience Strategies for Law Enforcement Families
10/02/2025
Ep 169: Raising Strong Kids: Resilience Strategies for Law Enforcement Families
In this episode, Cyndi sits down with licensed professional counselor and Warriors Rest Foundation trainer, Jill Newman, to talk about the often-overlooked experiences of children in law enforcement and first responder families. Jill shares insights from her work with first responder kids, including how hypervigilance, shift work, family stress, and critical incidents shape their lives. She offers strategies parents can use to build resilience, improve communication, and support their children’s emotional health. Together, they highlight ways to protect first responder families and strengthen relationships across generations. Hosted by Cyndi Doyle, licensed professional counselor, author of Hold the Line, and retired police spouse, the Code4Couples® Podcast is dedicated to helping law enforcement officers, spouses, and first responder families build strong, resilient relationships. 📖 Grab Cyndi’s book Hold the Line → 🎤 Book Cyndi for training or speaking → 00:00 – Welcome & introduction 02:15 – Jill Newman’s background & Warriors Rest Foundation 05:00 – Common struggles for kids in law enforcement families 10:30 – ACEs, epigenetics, and family stress spillover 18:45 – Building family resilience: communication, routines, and mindset 29:00 – Preparing kids for critical incidents 34:00 – Warning signs parents should watch for 39:30 – Building resilience as a family 42:00 – Resources & connecting with Jill Newman
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Ep 168: Heart Disease in Law Enforcement
09/18/2025
Ep 168: Heart Disease in Law Enforcement
Law enforcement officers and first responders are at significantly higher risk for undetected and deadly heart disease, often with no warning signs. Traditional medical screenings miss 92% of cases, leaving officers and their families vulnerable to preventable tragedy. Episode Summary: In this powerful interview, Dr. Benjamin Stone, co-founder of Sigma Tactical Wellness, joins Cyndi to uncover: Why police officers and first responders face a drastically shorter life expectancy The hidden cardiac risks that standard medical exams fail to detect Groundbreaking research showing 92% of cases are missed with traditional screenings The practical, affordable steps agencies and families can take to protect officers’ health How early intervention can save lives, marriages, and careers in public safety Hosted by Cyndi Doyle, licensed professional counselor, founder of Code4Couples®, author of Hold the Line, and retired police spouse. With Dr. Benjamin Stone, an internationally recognized thought leader in officer wellness and cardiac prevention. 📘 Grab Cyndi’s book Hold the Line → 🎤 Book Cyndi for training & speaking → 00:00 – Welcome & guest intro 02:30 – Why heart disease is law enforcement’s hidden epidemic 06:00 – Shocking statistics: life expectancy & risk factors 12:15 – Why traditional screenings miss 92% of cases 18:40 – The advanced tests every officer should know about 27:00 – How agencies can fund and access screenings 32:00 – Success stories: reducing officer cardiac risk 39:00 – Dr. Stone’s personal story & call to action 42:30 – Cyndi’s closing thoughts
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Ep 167: Parenting Through the Impact of Law Enforcement on Kids
09/04/2025
Ep 167: Parenting Through the Impact of Law Enforcement on Kids
In this episode of Code4Couples, Cyndi talks with Brianna Reinhold, a clinician and daughter of a law enforcement family, about what it’s really like to grow up as a first responder kid. Brianna shares how law enforcement culture shaped her childhood, the challenges kids face with anxiety, stigma, and social media, and why honest conversations are key for resilience. Episode Summary / What You’ll Learn ✔️ What it’s like to grow up as a law enforcement kid ✔️ The emotional toll of policing on families and children ✔️ How social media impacts police kids in today’s world ✔️ Strategies to help kids build resilience and reduce anxiety ✔️ Why open conversations and emotional connection matter most I’m Cyndi Doyle — licensed professional counselor, retired police spouse, author of Hold the Line, and host of the Code4Couples® Podcast. I help law enforcement officers, spouses, and first responder families protect their relationships while navigating the challenges of the job. 📘 Get my book Hold the Line: The Essential Guide to Protecting Your Law Enforcement Relationship → 🎤 Want Cyndi to speak at your event or provide training? → 00:00 Intro 01:30 Brianna’s law enforcement family background 04:00 Growing up in a cop household 08:30 Anxiety, resilience, and police kids 12:00 Social media’s impact on law enforcement families 18:00 How parents can talk to their kids about the job 24:00 Avoiding secondary trauma in children 28:00 Building family connection and resilience 34:00 Final advice for first responder parents
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Ep 166: 9 Ways First Responder Couples Can Apologize and Repair Conflict
08/22/2025
Ep 166: 9 Ways First Responder Couples Can Apologize and Repair Conflict
Nine steps to real apologies every law enforcement spouse should know. If you’ve ever felt stuck in your law enforcement marriage, dealing with conflict, defensiveness, or empty “sorrys,” this episode is for you. Short Episode Summary: In this episode, Cyndi sits down with licensed professional counselor Madison Elie-Thompson to break down why police wives, police husbands, and first responder couples often struggle with communication, conflict resolution, and apologies. Madison shares the nine ingredients of a true apology, explains why defensiveness and the need to “win” arguments erode trust in marriage, and highlights the role of vulnerability in repairing relationships. Together, they unpack how to move past shutdowns, blame, and quick “sorrys” into real repair that strengthens trust, teamwork, and connection in your police family. Hosted by Cyndi Doyle, licensed professional counselor supervisor, retired police spouse, and author of Hold the Line, the Code4Couples® Podcast is dedicated to helping law enforcement spouses build stronger relationships through effective marriage communication, conflict resolution, and trust repair. 📘 Get Cyndi’s book Hold the Line: Protecting Your Law Enforcement Relationship → 🎤 Book Cyndi to speak or train your department → 00:00 – Welcome & intro 02:15 – Madison’s first responder family background 05:20 – Why arguments turn into competition 09:45 – The role of defensiveness in marriage 12:30 – Nine steps to a true apology 25:00 – Why repair builds lasting trust 35:00 – Practical tools for first responder couples 38:30 – Closing thoughts & resources
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Ep 165: Increasing Resilience in Police and Emergency Personnel: Strengthening Your Mental Armor
08/08/2025
Ep 165: Increasing Resilience in Police and Emergency Personnel: Strengthening Your Mental Armor
This episode features Dr. Stephanie Conn, former police officer, psychologist, and author of Increasing Resilience in Police and Emergency Personnel. She and Cyndi dive into the realities of law enforcement culture, the toll of stress, and how resilience can be strengthened at work and at home. Stephanie shares deeply personal stories about her father, her husband, and her own journey, while offering science-backed strategies for police officers and their families. What You’ll Learn in This Episode: Why resilience matters for every police officer, spouse, and family The hidden costs of police identity and how it impacts marriage Moral injury, burnout, and trauma recovery strategies that work New science on stress, gut health, and nervous system recalibration How peer support and ASAP training are changing first responder culture Cyndi Doyle, LPC-S, NCC, is the founder of Code4Couples®, licensed professional counselor supervisor, retired police spouse, and author of Hold the Line. She helps law enforcement couples strengthen relationships and thrive in the face of first responder stress. 🔗 Grab the Free Resource / Book: 👉 Hold the Line: Protecting Your Law Enforcement Relationship 🎤 Book Cyndi for Training or Speaking: 👉 00:00 – Intro & Dr. Stephanie Conn’s background 04:00 – Why she wrote Increasing Resilience in Police and Emergency Personnel 08:00 – Personal stories: family impact & legacy of resilience 13:00 – Police identity disorder and the cost of “hero to zero” thinking 17:00 – COVID, civil unrest, and moral injury in law enforcement 23:00 – The science of resilience: nervous system, gut health, and tools 36:00 – ASAP training and empowering peer support teams 46:00 – Most impactful part of the new book 49:00 – How to order the revised edition & connect with Stephanie
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Ep 164: The Challenges Women Face Behind the Badge
07/25/2025
Ep 164: The Challenges Women Face Behind the Badge
In this interview, you’ll discover: Monica’s personal journey from police officer to author and advocate (Thriving Inside the Thin Blue Line How to navigate and rise above toxic workplace cultures Practical self-care, fitness, and mindset strategies for first responder spouses Why setting boundaries is essential to surviving and thriving in law enforcement marriage How to identify — and stop accepting — moving goalposts in your career Hosted by Cyndi Doyle, licensed professional counselor, retired police spouse, and author of Hold the Line, the Code4Couples® Podcast delivers real, relatable conversations to help law enforcement officers and their spouses build resilient relationships and balanced lives. 📖 Grab Cyndi Doyle’s book Hold the Line: 🎤 Book Cyndi to speak at your department or event → → 00:00 – Welcome & introduction 02:15 – Monica’s background in law enforcement 05:20 – Challenges women face in male-dominated police culture 12:40 – Navigating identity loss and burnout 20:15 – Setting boundaries & recognizing toxic patterns 28:00 – Self-care and “Pyramid of Health” strategies 34:30 – Mental transformation through fitness & nutrition 40:50 – Recognizing chronic stress symptoms 43:20 – Advice for spouses of female officers 46:00 – Where to find Monica & closing thoughts
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Ep 163: Finding Balance in Law Enforcement Relationships
07/11/2025
Ep 163: Finding Balance in Law Enforcement Relationships
Law enforcement mental health starts at home — discover how to balance duty & family without burning out. In this episode, Cyndi talks with Elizabeth Ecklund — 🚒 firefighter, 🚑 EMT, 💉 nurse, clinical social worker in training, and law enforcement spouse — about how first responder couples can balance personal and professional life without burning out. This conversation dives deep into law enforcement mental health, first responder stress management, and the unique challenges of police marriage problems in dual-career households. You’ll learn: 📏 How to identify when your personal and professional values are out of alignment for better law enforcement family support 💬 Practical police spouse support techniques and cop burnout prevention strategies ❤️ The role of vulnerability, communication, and emotional vocabulary in law enforcement spouse support 👨👩👧👦 Why balancing family priorities and job demands is key to a lasting, connected relationship 🎙️ Cyndi Doyle, LPC-S, NCC, is the founder of Code4Couples®, author of Hold the Line, and a licensed professional counselor who has been married to a law enforcement officer for over 20 years. She helps first responder couples strengthen relationships and thrive despite the challenges of the job. 📖 Grab your copy of Hold the Line → 00:00 🎯 Intro & Guest Bio 02:15 🚒 Elizabeth’s journey to becoming a first responder 08:30 ❄️ Life & marriage in Antarctica 16:00 ⚖️ Balancing professional demands & personal life 28:00 🧘 Stress mitigation strategies for first responders 34:00 💬 Strengthening family bonds through communication 39:00 🧠 Building emotional vocabulary & vulnerability 46:00 📬 How to connect with Elizabeth Ecklund
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Ep 162: Emotional Safety at Home in Law Enforcement Families
06/27/2025
Ep 162: Emotional Safety at Home in Law Enforcement Families
Emotional safety at home is harder for law enforcement couples than you think, but it is possible to rebuild with the right tools. If you want stronger law enforcement spouse support and deeper connection, this episode walks you through exactly how to create it. In this episode, Cyndi breaks down: • Why emotional safety disappears at home even in strong relationships • How the hypervigilance cycle shapes emotional disconnection in marriage • What happens when the nervous system overloads and the vagus nerve stays activated • Walking on eggshells in a relationship and why it becomes the default in law enforcement family life • Practical rituals of connection for couples that rebuild safety and trust • Nervous system reset techniques you can use immediately • How to stop the communication spiral that turns tense moments into distance Cyndi Doyle is a licensed professional counselor supervisor, retired police spouse, author of Hold the Line, and the founder of Code4Couples®, helping first responder couples stay connected, resilient, and grounded in the middle of chaos. 📘 Want deeper support? Grab Cyndi’s book, Hold the Line, here: 🎤 Bring Cyndi to your agency or event: 00:00 Why emotional safety disappears at home 01:00 What compassionate love protects against in law enforcement 03:00 The safety and connection cycle 04:00 Why “fixing” your partner shuts down connection 06:00 The slow erosion of emotional safety 07:00 Hypervigilance and its impact on the relationship 08:30 The hypervigilance crash at home 10:00 Misinterpreting shutdown and emotional distance 12:00 The safety connection loop and the vagus nerve 14:00 Why the nervous system gets stuck 15:00 Command presence and communication mismatch 17:00 The slow slide into eggshell-walking 18:00 Solution 1: Normalize the recovery cycle 20:00 Clear communication that improves connection 23:00 Using clear, concise, compassionate communication 25:00 How to hit pause when emotions take over 26:00 Building a family crisis plan 30:00 Rituals that rebuild connection 31:00 Physical touch and the vagus nerve 33:00 Inside jokes, shared moments, and consistent rituals 34:00 The six areas of personal wellness 38:00 Recap: How emotional safety gets rebuilt 39:00 One action to take this week
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Ep 161: Beat The Burnout: Prevention and Recovery Solutions for Frontline Burnout
06/13/2025
Ep 161: Beat The Burnout: Prevention and Recovery Solutions for Frontline Burnout
🚨 This episode features AK Dozanti, a former sheriff’s deputy turned wellness advocate and author of Beat the Burnout, who shares her personal journey through severe law enforcement burnout, PTSD, and adrenal fatigue. AK opens up about the physical, emotional, and relational toll that burnout takes on first responders and their law enforcement spouses, and why permission to step back or change careers can be life-saving. In this conversation on burnout prevention and first responder wellness, you’ll learn: 🔍 How to spot the early signs of burnout in yourself or your spouse 🛠 Sustainable systems to prevent and recover from law enforcement burnout 💤 The role of sleep, nutrition, and relationships in preventing spouse burnout and marriage challenges 🧠 Why first responder burnout prevention is also suicide prevention ⚠️ How to recognize burnout signs before they damage your health, career, or relationship 🎙 Hosted by Cyndi Doyle — licensed professional counselor, founder of Code4Couples®, retired police spouse, and author of Hold the Line — this podcast is dedicated to helping law enforcement spouses, officers, and first responders strengthen their relationships, improve first responder wellness, and thrive in this unique lifestyle. 📘 Hold the Line by Cyndi Doyle → 📗 Beat the Burnout by Amanda Kay Dozanti → 00:00 – 👋 Welcome & Guest Intro 02:45 – 🚓 AK’s Journey from Deputy to Wellness Advocate 10:15 – ✅ The Permission to Leave: Choosing Yourself Over the Job 16:00 – 🩺 Physical & Emotional Burnout Signs 23:30 – 🛡 Sustainable Systems for Burnout Prevention 33:00 – 💭 The SNAGS Framework & Subconscious Bias 42:00 – ❤️ Spouse Burnout & the Role of Relationships 48:30 – 🎯 Closing Advice
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Ep 160: Mindset Matters: Resilience, Relationships, and Law Enforcement Mental Health
06/02/2025
Ep 160: Mindset Matters: Resilience, Relationships, and Law Enforcement Mental Health
In this episode, former officer Richard Crème joins Cyndi to explore how your law enforcement mindset can either strengthen resilience or quietly create emotional overload at home. You’ll hear how thought patterns shape reactions, communication, and connection, and the simple mindset tools that help officers and spouses shift out of reactivity and into intentional response. What you’ll learn: How thought loops fuel stress, cynicism, and emotional distance Why “what if” thinking impacts relationship communication How affirmations, intention, and gratitude calm the nervous system What officers can do to turn reactions into steady responses Small daily mindset practices that build long-term resilience Hosted by Cyndi Doyle, licensed professional counselor, author of Hold the Line, retired police spouse, and founder of Code4Couples®, helping first responder families stay connected and resilient. 📘 Grow your resilience with Hold the Line → 🎤 Book Cyndi for training or speaking → 00:00 Welcome to Code4Couples 00:54 Introducing Richard Crème 03:00 The hidden mindset impact of chronic pain 05:00 “What if” thinking and emotional overload 07:00 Negative thought loops and relationship strain 09:00 Self-awareness and mindset shifting 12:00 Reactions vs responses in law enforcement 15:00 Cynicism and fear-based thinking on duty 18:00 Confidence, control, and resilience 22:00 Gratitude as a nervous system reset 24:00 Perspective taking and emotional grounding 28:00 Building mindset habits that stick 33:00 How mindset shifts strengthen family life 35:00 Connect with Richard + free Hold the Line workbook
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Ep 159: The Top Ten Things Every Law Enforcement Spouse Should Know
05/16/2025
Ep 159: The Top Ten Things Every Law Enforcement Spouse Should Know
Feeling the emotional disconnect? Here are 10 things every law enforcement spouse should know. If you’ve ever wondered why hypervigilance, emotional shutdown, or distance show up at home, this episode breaks down what’s really happening underneath. In this episode, Cyndi shares the Top 10 Things Every Law Enforcement Spouse Should Know—from the job’s impact on the brain, to emotional withdrawal, hypervigilance, resentment, and the armor both partners wear. You’ll learn: • Why emotional shutdown isn’t personal but still hurts • How hypervigilance affects relationships long after the shift ends • The ways spouses get conditioned too • How resentment and disconnection build quietly • The skill that can completely shift communication and compassion These insights bring clarity and understanding to the emotional dynamics that many first responder couples struggle to name. I’m Cyndi Doyle, licensed professional counselor supervisor, retired police spouse, author of Hold the Line, and founder of Code4Couples®. I help law enforcement officers and their spouses build stronger, more connected relationships grounded in real research and lived experience. 📚 Hold the Line — Your guide to protecting your law enforcement relationship → 🎤 Bring Cyndi to your department or event → 00:00 Welcome to the Code4Couples Podcast 00:24 Cyndi’s travel + conference updates 03:00 What’s new with guests, training, and resources 06:45 Wellness checks and national presentations 09:00 Companion guide + book club facilitator guide 11:30 The “ChatGPT relationship” that inspired this episode 12:10 Top 10 Things Every Law Enforcement Spouse Should Know 12:35 #1 The job comes home 14:10 #2 Emotional shutdown isn’t personal 16:00 #3 Hypervigilance affects the whole family 19:00 #4 Spouses get conditioned too 21:30 #5 Independence doesn’t erase loneliness 24:20 #6 Emotional armor on both sides 27:00 #7 Culture pressures and unspoken rules 29:00 #8 Resentment signals unmet needs 31:00 #9 Perspective as a relationship skill 33:30 #10 You’re not alone 36:00 Final thoughts + free resource info (Feel free to adjust after uploading)
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Ep 158: The Wounded Blue: Never Forgotten. Never Alone.
04/25/2025
Ep 158: The Wounded Blue: Never Forgotten. Never Alone.
🚔💔 What happens when a law enforcement officer is injured and the department turns its back? In this powerful interview, 33-year police veteran Randy Sutton shares the truth — and the lifeline that’s saving lives for police families and first responder spouses. 🎙️ In this episode, Cyndi talks with Randy Sutton, a 33-year law enforcement veteran, bestselling author, and founder of The Wounded Blue. Randy shares his career journey from Princeton, NJ, to the Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department, and his work advocating for injured officers, police wife support, and first responder mental health resources. He discusses the growing challenges faced by today’s law enforcement spouses and families — from public perception shifts to political pressures — and the toll these take on officers’ mental health, relationships, and wellness. The conversation highlights The Wounded Blue’s mission to provide peer support for police officers, resources, and hope for first responder families navigating injury, trauma, PTSD, and career transitions. 👩💼 Cyndi Doyle is a licensed professional counselor supervisor, retired police spouse, and author of Hold the Line. Through Code4Couples®, she helps first responder couples strengthen relationships, improve communication, and thrive despite the unique challenges of law enforcement marriage counseling and life in a first responder family. 📚 Hold the Line — Your guide to protecting your law enforcement relationship → https://www.amazon.com/Hold-Line-Protecting-Enforcement-Relationship-ebook/dp/B08TPRTY9G#customerReviews 📖 Rescuing 9-1-1: The Fight for America’s Safety by Randy Sutton → https://www.amazon.com/Rescuing-9-1-1-Fight-Americas-Safety-ebook/dp/B0F22GFFTR?utm_source=chatgpt.com 📖 A Cop’s Life: True Stories from the Heart Behind the Badge → https://www.amazon.com/Cops-Life-Stories-Heart-Behind/dp/0312338961?utm_source=chatgpt.com 📚 More books by Randy Sutton → 🎤 Book Cyndi to speak at your department, conference, or event → ⏱️ 00:00 – Introduction & Randy Sutton’s background ⏱️ 03:00 – The shift in policing culture over decades ⏱️ 07:00 – The hidden dangers officers face today ⏱️ 15:00 – Writing as therapy: From “A Cop’s Life” to “Rescuing 911” ⏱️ 22:00 – The Wounded Blue: Mission & impact ⏱️ 31:00 – Survival Summit & education for first responders ⏱️ 40:00 – Stories of hope and community support ⏱️ 47:00 – Final words for law enforcement families
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Ep 157: Sleep Hygiene for First Responders: Why Sleep Health Matters in First Responder Relationships
04/11/2025
Ep 157: Sleep Hygiene for First Responders: Why Sleep Health Matters in First Responder Relationships
Police officer mental health and first responder spouse support start with better sleep — and FBI sleep expert Dr. Leah Kaylor is here to show you how. From nightmares to shift work, discover proven strategies to protect your health and your relationship. In this episode, Cyndi Doyle interviews Dr. Leah Kaylor, licensed psychologist and recognized sleep expert, on the critical role sleep plays in the mental, emotional, and physical health of first responders and their families. Dr. Kaylor shares practical strategies for improving sleep hygiene, from consistency and bedroom environment to managing blue light exposure, and explains why poor sleep compounds the risks of chronic illness, emotional reactivity, and impaired decision-making. She also discusses solutions for nightmares, including imagery rehearsal therapy, and addresses challenges unique to first responder schedules—like shift work and “sleep divorce” for better rest. The conversation offers both science-based insights and actionable tips to help law enforcement couples protect their health and relationships through better sleep. Hosted by Cyndi Doyle, founder of Code4Couples®, licensed professional counselor supervisor, retired police spouse, and author of Hold the Line, this podcast brings real talk and proven strategies for building resilient law enforcement relationships. 📚 Grab Hold the Line → https://www.amazon.com/Hold-Line-Protecting-Enforcement-Relationship-ebook/dp/B08TPRTY9G#customerReviews 📖 Order Dr. Leah Kaylor’s The Sleep Advantage → 🎤 Book Cyndi to speak at your next event → 00:00 Intro & guest welcome 02:15 How Dr. Leah became a sleep expert 04:55 The dangers of chronic poor sleep for first responders 08:05 Top sleep hygiene tip: Consistency 11:00 Setting up your bedroom for better sleep 16:00 Managing noise & light for restorative rest 24:00 The science of blue light and its impact on sleep 32:00 Nightmares & imagery rehearsal therapy 38:00 “Sleep divorce” and why it’s not a bad word 46:00 About Dr. Leah’s upcoming book 48:00 Closing thoughts & resources
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Ep 156: Breaking Down The Armor and The Mental Health Stigma in Law Enforcement
03/28/2025
Ep 156: Breaking Down The Armor and The Mental Health Stigma in Law Enforcement
Cumulative trauma exposure doesn’t stay at work. In this conversation, we break down what law enforcement mental health really looks like when the emotional load starts showing up at home. In this episode, Sergeant Zachary Signs opens up about the impact of repeated trauma, emotional shutdown, and the moment he realized the strain it was putting on his relationship. We talk about how emotional armor forms, how it affects communication, and what it takes to reconnect. You’ll hear practical examples of boundaries, counseling for police officers, signs of nervous system overload, and how support networks like peer teams can change the trajectory for officers and spouses. Hosted by Cyndi Doyle, LPC-S, law enforcement spouse, author of Hold the Line, and founder of Code4Couples®, helping first responder couples stay connected, resilient, and healthy. 👉 Grab Cyndi’s book “Hold the Line” — a guide for protecting your law enforcement relationship: 🎤 Book Cyndi for training, workshops, or conference speaking: 0:00 Welcome to Code4Couples 0:52 Why Zachary’s artwork caught Cyndi’s attention 2:00 Texas Law Enforcement Peer Network explained 3:15 Growing up around trauma and seeing PTSD firsthand 4:20 The cumulative trauma load from patrol work 5:05 The breaking point at home 6:00 When a partner says, “I can’t help you — you need more support” 7:00 Emotional armor inside law enforcement culture 8:15 Starting counseling and what helped build trust 9:45 Talking “with” your spouse instead of “at” them 11:10 Boundaries, decompression time, and reducing conflict 13:00 Short-term memory changes with trauma 14:10 Letting your spouse be part of your support team 15:00 The meaning behind Zachary’s artwork 16:00 The demons we carry, and the shelf-with-ducks analogy 18:30 Mental health as officer safety 20:10 How stress impacts physical health 21:05 Where to find Zachary’s art 22:30 Final message: Call that “code two” when you need help
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Ep 155: Undercover Junkie: When the Job Becomes the Rush
03/14/2025
Ep 155: Undercover Junkie: When the Job Becomes the Rush
Law enforcement officers and their spouses often underestimate how undercover work, adrenaline addiction, and hidden trauma can slowly erode a law enforcement marriage. This episode shows both the officer and spouse perspective—how secrecy, overwork, and unprocessed incidents affect relationships—and offers hope, police spouse support, communication tools, and perspective for couples navigating similar challenges. In this candid interview, retired undercover narcotics officer Brent Cartwright and his wife Wesley share the realities of a police family living through dangerous assignments, long hours, and the aftermath of a line-of-duty shooting. You’ll hear: How undercover life fueled adrenaline addiction and secrecy The day Brent was shot six times and survived Wesley’s story as a police spouse supporting an injured officer The impact of PTSD and unprocessed trauma on a LEO marriage How they rebuilt trust, improved spouse communication, and found balance between home life and the demands of law enforcement work Hosted by Cyndi Doyle, licensed professional counselor, retired police spouse, and author of Hold the Line, this conversation pulls back the curtain on the challenges of supporting a police spouse and surviving the hidden costs of the job—without sensationalism, but with practical tools and cultural understanding. 📘 Get Hold the Line: Protecting Your Law Enforcement Relationship → 🎤 Book Cyndi to speak → 📕 Get Brent’s book Undercover Junkie: Chasing the High, Confronting Trauma, and Unraveling the Aftermath → 00:00 – Intro & guest welcome 02:00 – How Brent & Wesley met and built their life together 06:00 – Transition into undercover life 10:00 – Impact of long hours & adrenaline culture on marriage 16:00 – The day of the shooting 23:00 – Wesley’s perspective as a law enforcement spouse getting “the call” 30:00 – Recovery, therapy, and rebuilding trust 44:00 – Writing Undercover Junkie and sharing the truth 53:00 – Advice for police families
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Ep 154: Breaking the Silence: How Copline Supports Law Enforcement Officers and Their Families
02/07/2025
Ep 154: Breaking the Silence: How Copline Supports Law Enforcement Officers and Their Families
Police peer hotline: The 24/7 lifeline for officers, spouses, & families you need to know about. When you or your loved one wears the badge, you need a support system that truly understands the job — without judgment or red tape. This episode of Code4Couples features retired NYPD officer and Southern Regional Outreach Coordinator for COPLINE, Debra Schwartz. COPLINE is a confidential, 24/7 hotline staffed by retired officers for active and retired law enforcement and their families. Debra shares the unique benefits of peer-to-peer listening, the importance of volunteer involvement, and how the hotline provides a safe, stigma-free space for officers and families to talk — whether they’re in crisis or simply need connection. The conversation also covers volunteer opportunities, clinician partnerships, and the importance of funding to keep COPLINE available nationwide. Hosted by Cyndi Doyle — licensed professional counselor supervisor, retired police spouse, author of Hold the Line, and founder of Code4Couples® — this podcast connects law enforcement couples with the tools, strategies, and stories to build resilient relationships. 📖 Hold the Line: The Essential Guide for Protecting Your Law Enforcement Relationship → 🎤 Book Cyndi to speak at your department, conference, or event → 00:00 Intro & Guest Welcome 01:45 Debra’s journey from NYPD to COPLINE 05:20 How COPLINE supports active, retired, and families 10:15 Confidentiality & trust in peer hotlines 15:00 Resources & clinician connections 20:30 Funding and volunteer needs 26:00 How to get involved with COPLINE 28:00 Closing thoughts & hotline number
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Ep 153: Dumpster Fire Days: Navigating the Chaos Together in Law Enforcement Relationships
02/03/2025
Ep 153: Dumpster Fire Days: Navigating the Chaos Together in Law Enforcement Relationships
Ideally, officers coming home would be able to have 20 to 30 minutes to decompress before engaging with the family, but we all know that sometimes that's just not realistic. Your spouse has a life, a full -time job, manages the household and when you're not there, your family has their own business and their own chaos. Heck, maybe the officer parent is the parent who's doing all the parent pickups or bath time, or maybe your spouse travels for work. Real life dictates that as a couple, you're not always going to be able to put the officer's need to decompress ahead of life. Real life dictates that you will have days when both of your worlds feel like chaos, have heaps of stress, and just feel like a sh*t show. This can lead couples to disengage and argue. What is the best way to make it through when you both have dumpster fire days? How do you hold space for your officer or your partner when you need that support too?
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Ep 152: When Command Presence Comes Homes
01/24/2025
Ep 152: When Command Presence Comes Homes
This episode of the Code4Couples podcast dives into “authoritarian spillover” — the unconscious way officers’ on-the-job command presence can follow them home. Cyndi explains how this survival skill, critical in high-pressure law enforcement situations, can unintentionally create tension, micromanagement, and disconnection in police marriages and law enforcement families. In this episode, you’ll learn: What authoritarian spillover is and how it impacts police spouses, police couples, and law enforcement families. Why command presence is vital for police officer stress management at work but can create conflict at home. Signs that “command mode” is starting to switch on in everyday situations. How to use awareness, shared language, and communication strategies to protect your law enforcement marriage. Practical ways for officers and spouses to shift from protector mode to partner mode, improving law enforcement family support. Hosted by Cyndi Doyle — founder of Code4Couples®, licensed professional counselor supervisor, retired police wife, and author of Hold the Line. Cyndi specializes in helping first responder couples protect their relationships while navigating the unique challenges of law enforcement life. 📖 Get your copy of Hold the Line: The Essential Guide to Protecting Your Law Enforcement Relationship → 🎤 Book Cyndi to speak at your department, conference, or wellness event → 00:00 Intro 01:00 Shoutout to Responder Life 02:15 “I’m not one of your citizens” – a personal story 03:20 What is authoritarian spillover? 06:00 How command presence shows up at home 08:00 Step 1: Awareness for officers and spouses 10:00 Creating a shared signal to stand down 12:00 Communicating feelings under stress 14:00 Shifting from protector to partner 15:30 Practical language changes that help 16:00 How to learn more + closing thoughts
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Ep 151: Hypervigilance to Home
01/17/2025
Ep 151: Hypervigilance to Home
This episode dives deep into hypervigilance at home — a natural, biological state that keeps officers safe on duty but can unintentionally create distance and tension in a law enforcement marriage. Whether you’re a police wife, police husband, or a law enforcement spouse, understanding this dynamic can help you protect your connection Short Episode Summary Understand what hypervigilance is and how it impacts police family life Learn the “up and down” cycle that can make officers seem disengaged after shift work Avoid enabling unhealthy patterns that can lead to law enforcement burnout Use simple, practical tools to reconnect even during the “downside” Hear personal stories from Cyndi’s own police marriage and experiences with police mental health Hosted by Cyndi Doyle, founder of Code4Couples®, licensed professional counselor supervisor, retired police spouse, and author of Hold the Line: The Essential Guide to Protecting Your Law Enforcement Relationship. Cyndi has helped countless law enforcement couples strengthen their relationships despite the unique challenges of the job. 📖 Grab Cyndi’s book Hold the Line: 🎤 Book Cyndi for training or speaking: 00:00 – Introduction & real-life scenario 02:00 – What hypervigilance is and why it matters in law enforcement marriage 05:00 – The biological rollercoaster after a police shift 09:00 – The cycle of misunderstanding between police spouses 13:00 – Strategies for recovery & reconnection 20:00 – Tips for avoiding enabling behavior 22:30 – Final thoughts & resources
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Ep 150: Building Connection Through Appreciation: A Law Enforcement Family Perspective
01/10/2025
Ep 150: Building Connection Through Appreciation: A Law Enforcement Family Perspective
This episode explores the power of appreciation and gratitude in law enforcement marriage, especially during times of high stress, shift changes, and burnout. Whether you’re a police wife, police husband, or part of a first responder couple, you’ll learn how to improve your police relationship through small, meaningful actions. Drawing from research by Dr. John Gottman, Dr. Sue Johnson, and Dr. Brené Brown, Cyndi explains how expressing appreciation fosters emotional safety, deepens trust, and helps couples weather challenges together. You’ll hear real-life examples from police spouse life, along with practical ways to show gratitude — from heartfelt notes to quality time — plus details on the 14-day Marriage Appreciation Challenge created for police families. Hosted by Cyndi Doyle, founder of Code4Couples®, licensed professional counselor supervisor, retired police spouse, and author of Hold the Line: The Essential Guide to Protecting Your Law Enforcement Relationship. 📥 Get Your Free 14-Day Appreciation Challenge → 🎤 Book Cyndi for Training or Speaking → 00:00 Intro & why appreciation matters in police marriage 01:00 The science behind gratitude in marriage 03:00 Building emotional safety for law enforcement couples 06:00 Practical marriage appreciation ideas 10:00 Family-based police spouse support activities 14:00 Creating an appreciation ritual in your relationship 16:00 How to support a partner in burnout 20:00 Final thoughts & challenge invitation
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Ep 149: Relationship Resolutions for Law Enforcement Couples
01/03/2025
Ep 149: Relationship Resolutions for Law Enforcement Couples
Feeling the emotional disconnection that comes with being married to a police officer? These five rituals rebuild closeness fast. In this episode, we dig into hypervigilance in relationships and how small, intentional habits can reconnect you quickly. What You’ll Learn in This Episode In this New Year, New Connection episode, Cyndi shares five simple and powerful relationship resolutions designed specifically for law enforcement couples. • Why hypervigilance and shift work create emotional disconnection • How micro-moments of connection rebuild safety and closeness • A weekly marriage check-in ritual that strengthens communication • A shift-reset routine that helps the nervous system transition home • Team-based strategies to handle stress before it becomes resentment • How regular tuneups prevent small issues from turning into major problems Cyndi Doyle is a licensed professional counselor supervisor, retired police spouse, author of Hold the Line, and founder of Code4Couples®. She trains departments and first responder couples nationwide on connection, resilience, and emotional survival for law enforcement. Work With Cyndi 🎤 Book Cyndi for department training, spouse events, or wellness workshops → 00:00 New Year, New Connection 02:00 Why hypervigilance impacts relationships 05:00 Downside of emotional survival for law enforcement 07:00 Resolution #1: Weekly connection check-in 10:30 Resolution #2: Shift-reset ritual 15:30 Resolution #3: Quality time over quantity 18:00 Resolution #4: Stress tag-team plan 20:45 Resolution #5: Regular relationship tuneups 23:30 Final encouragement for 2025
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Ep 148: Navigating Burnout in Law Enforcement Communities
10/11/2024
Ep 148: Navigating Burnout in Law Enforcement Communities
If burnout has become your normal, this episode gives you the tools to step out of survival mode and reconnect to what matters. Burnout in law enforcement doesn’t have to be a life sentence — small shifts can create real change. In this conversation, Cyndi and trauma therapist/author Yolanda Harper unpack what burnout really looks like inside law enforcement homes: nervous system overload, emotional disconnection, overfunctioning, compassion fatigue, and the pressure to “just keep going.” They explore practical ways to reset your mind and body, reconnect with your people, and build micro-moments of joy that support long-term resilience. You’ll learn simple permission-based tools, nervous system reset practices, and how to create intentional routines that reduce burnout for both officers and spouses. Hosted by Cyndi Doyle, licensed professional counselor supervisor, author of Hold the Line, retired police spouse, and founder of Code4Couples®, this podcast brings real-life tools for keeping law enforcement relationships connected and healthy. 📘 Grab Cyndi’s book “Hold the Line” on Amazon: 🎤 Book Cyndi for department trainings, keynotes, or workshops: 00:00 – What burnout feels like in law enforcement families 02:15 – The pressure to overfunction and “just keep going” 05:40 – When you realize you’re disconnected from your body 10:12 – Duty to others vs. duty to yourself 14:30 – The hidden cost of chronic stress on health & relationships 18:00 – Nervous system overload and emotional shut-down 23:45 – Why asking for help feels so difficult 28:10 – Micro-moments of joy and nervous system reset techniques 34:00 – How intentional practices protect your relationship 45:20 – The “permission slip” method 50:55 – The Perfect Day exercise 57:30 – Burnout relapse and recovery 1:02:00 – Final thoughts & resources
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Ep 147: How to Advocate for Police Families After a Traumatic Brain Injury
09/27/2024
Ep 147: How to Advocate for Police Families After a Traumatic Brain Injury
Trauma-informed relationships matter most when everything falls apart. In this episode, Joan shares how a traumatic brain injury reshaped her marriage, their finances, and the entire path to rebuilding stability. In this powerful continuation of Joan VandeGreig’s story, you’ll learn: • What really happens inside a police family when a head injury goes undiagnosed for months • How chronic pain, confusion, and cumulative trauma strain a marriage • The financial reality behind workers’ comp denials and stalled disability claims • Why police disability retirement is rarely straightforward • How Joan pieced together income, benefits, and resources to protect her family • What every law enforcement spouse should understand before a crisis hits I’m Cyndi Doyle, licensed professional counselor supervisor, founder of Code4Couples®, and author of Hold the Line. I help law enforcement couples stay connected and resilient through the unique stressors of the job. 📘 Get the Essential Guide to Protecting Your Law Enforcement Relationship 🎤 Book Cyndi for department trainings, spouse events, or keynotes: 00:00 Why Joan’s story matters for police families 01:00 When the injury changed everything 03:00 The long road to seizure awareness and medical clarity 04:30 Early signs, confusion, and emotional strain 06:00 The hidden financial dangers no one prepares you for 08:00 Workers’ comp denials and delayed diagnoses 10:00 Mounting credit card debt and survival mode 12:00 Fit-for-duty complications 14:30 When the system doesn’t talk to itself 16:00 Marriage impact: chronic pain and daily episodes 18:00 The medical maze of treatments, meds, and specialists 21:00 Rebuilding income after forced early retirement 24:00 The turning point: new diagnoses, new barriers 28:00 “Your brain is worth $45,000?” 30:00 The fight for disability, retirement, and benefits 33:00 What finally worked — and why 36:00 Living benefits, policies, and long-term planning 39:00 The PSOB journey and what families must know 42:00 The TLC Method explained 45:00 How Fetch Your Wealth helps first responder families 48:00 Final thoughts and resources for police couples
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Ep: 146 The Impact of In the Line of Duty Injuries on Law Enforcement Families
09/13/2024
Ep: 146 The Impact of In the Line of Duty Injuries on Law Enforcement Families
There's an injury to the head on the job. If it's an open wound, it gets addressed, stapled up, and healed. As time goes on, you or your spouse notices that you're different. You're changing your mood, your drive, your impulsivity and your memory isn’t what it used to be. You aren't sure what's happening. Despite what looks fine externally, you know something is going on. Traumatic brain injuries or TBIs are injuries to the brain that impact the function of the brain. A TBI has consequences in cognitive, psychological, social, behavioral, and even other functioning. TBIs can range in severity and in a 2020 study, it was suggested that 38.9% of officers who reported a loss of consciousness due to a concussion had a mild TBI. When there are possible injuries to the head, the protocols to determine a TBI are often overlooked causing officers and families to struggle to determine what is happening when behavior changes. I've heard of couples confusion when there's a change. I've seen it in my office, and I personally know of a couple here locally that spent years trying to get a department to understand a TBI that had occurred on the job and its impact on the officer today. Joan Van De Greik shares the story of her husband's injury and their years of struggle, not only to get the diagnosis but also dismissal and betrayal of the city and the fight for compensation as a work-related injury. Joan's mission is to educate other law enforcement families and help them to be financially prepared should they experience a career ending injury or line of duty death. This is part one of my interview with Joan as she shares her story of the struggle after the incident
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Ep 145: Indirect Trauma in Law Enforcement Relationships
08/30/2024
Ep 145: Indirect Trauma in Law Enforcement Relationships
In this episode, a dual first responder couple shares how indirect trauma, cumulative stress, and critical incidents began impacting their marriage long before they saw the signs. You’ll learn: • how trauma shows up differently for each partner • why nervous system overload can mimic “walking on eggshells” in a relationship • ways spouses can validate without fixing • how boundaries prevent emotional spillover • why culturally competent counseling matters for law enforcement families Hosted by Cyndi Doyle, licensed professional counselor supervisor, retired police spouse, and author of Hold the Line, this podcast supports law enforcement officers, their spouses, and first responder couples who want stronger, healthier relationships. 📘 Grab Cyndi’s book, Hold the Line, to protect your law enforcement relationship: 🎤 Book Cyndi to speak at your department or conference: 00:00 Intro: When direct and vicarious trauma collide 01:40 Meet James & Lisa: A dual first responder couple 04:00 How their careers shaped trauma exposure 06:20 Dispatcher trauma and the unseen emotional load 09:00 The incident that changed everything 12:00 When trauma symptoms surfaced at home 16:00 Asking for help and recognizing the warning signs 21:00 How trauma responses differ in each partner 24:00 Setting boundaries around what to share 28:00 Support without fixing 33:00 Validate, don’t negate 36:00 Watching for seasonal and anniversary triggers 40:00 Rebuilding connection with intentional habits 43:00 How they “date” each other during busy seasons 47:00 Resources: PCIS, culturally competent counseling 48:30 Final advice for law enforcement spouses
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