Whose Responsibility is it Anyway?
Unlearning Project
Where do we draw the line in terms of who's responsible for protection? Do we expect the government to protect us from everything? Life is risky, and to an extent, each person is responsible for the risks they choose to subject themselves to. This brings up the question that at what point is the government overstepping or overreaching their authority in the name of “protecting the public.” In today's episode, Virginia and I talk through the concerns I have with the status of the stock market, interest rates, inflation, and general economic climate of the US right now. It’s all...
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Die with Zero
Unlearning Project
“Why does it have to be that so much of your energetic years are committed to earning income or saving or working? ” Society has ingrained in us that we have to work 50 weeks out of the year and only get two weeks off, but when you really think about it, that puts you on a path toward spending all your valuable time working, saving, and hustling instead of enjoying your life. In today’s episode, Virginia and I talk about Bill Perkins’s book, Die with Zero. In summary, Bill’s book operates off the premise that we work like dogs during the best years of our lives to accumulate a...
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The Bubble
Unlearning Project
There are seasons of life in which all your energy, time, and mental space is taken up by your circumstances. The thing is, you probably don’t even realize you were in a bubble until you come out of it. One major “bubble” of life is the 20 year period in which you have kids, are driving your career forward, and are likely caring for or at least keeping an eye on your aging parents. Prior to having kids, we had a social life, ambitions, and even hobbies. But inside the bubble, our priorities are different and our own desires often get shuffled to the side. Sometimes the bubble...
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COVID and Beyond
Unlearning Project
Have you ever noticed a tendency to view yourself as invincible? It’s not a true belief of invincibility, but rather a perception that other people’s experiences couldn’t or wouldn’t ever happen to us. Virginia and I both admit to this when it comes to being sick. It’s not typically something most people admit out loud or are even conscious of, but it’s the optimistic or perhaps naive assumption similarly phrased as “that won’t happen to me.” For us, it’s often like a badge of honor that we never get sick. The perception digs in deeper as we often assume we’d react...
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Conspicuous Consumption
Unlearning Project
You probably know someone who’s always showing off their latest purchase- maybe it’s gourmet lunch, a new car, the latest tech - you name it. When someone buys goods or services in an attempt to show their success, they are participating in conspicuous consumption. These days, everyone posts on social media doing “humble brags” about their life, and even if they don’t intend to showboat their status, that’s exactly what’s happening. Even something so seemingly innocent as vacation pics can be revealing of your status. No matter what you share, there’s...
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Preventing Rock Bottom
Unlearning Project
“You shouldn’t deny somebody their bottom.” In the end, hitting rock bottom may be the only thing that will save you. In this episode, Virginia joins me as we discuss helping others and the possibility of helping too much. Imagine if someone came to you for help, how would you proceed? How do you find the balance between letting someone fend for themselves versus sharing the wealth? Do handouts really help or do they ultimately prevent someone from experiencing the pain of hitting rock bottom and therefore denying them the fuel they may need to catapult toward success? In this...
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The Big Short - Contrarian Views
Unlearning Project
Jim Rohn said “Everyday stand guard at the door of your mind.” We are constantly bombarded with information. Our minds grow hazy as we begin to believe everything that comes our way. You must maintain vigilance while screening out irrelevant information. Listen in as Timothy Messina joins me in a discussion about the harsh realities of the housing market crash and our contrarian views toward the corporations fueling the news content these days. Our discussion sums up the key points that stuck in our minds after watching the 2015 movie, “” about the US subprime mortgage industry. ...
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Optimism, Realism, Pessimism
Unlearning Project
“Success is a balance between optimism and realism where it's unhindered by the weight of pessimism.” Which one are you? Is it ingrained in us to determine whether we are pessimists, optimists, or realists, and if so, do we continue to change in order to stay on track? Today, Virginia Elder joins me as we discuss how our minds operate, react, and what occurs when we’re confronted with uncontrollable circumstances. In this episode, listen for: Examples of scenarios in which it is necessary to prioritize when problems occur- Optimists Reaslist Mindset (22:16) Optimistic realism...
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Coffee Talk
Unlearning Project
When you come from nothing, it’s natural to push toward achievement. But what happens when you’ve achieved what you wanted? Does the bar move higher, do you fear losing it all, or can you sit back and enjoy the fruits of your labor? Antonio Porretta joins me today to hash over the conversation we started having over coffee nearly 10 years ago. We’re able to look back, laugh and identify the key decisions that got us where we are. In this episode, listen for: Setting the guidelines for what's possible and what’s worth worrying about Walking the tightrope...
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Risk Assessments
Unlearning Project
We face risks daily in areas of money, health, kids, family, education, career, etc. Some risk has to do with the decisions we make while other risk lies in not making a move. In what areas of your life do you think you’re conjuring up risk that doesn’t really exist or that’s holding you back? As with many things, our personal risk assessment begins with what we learned in childhood. In some ways, we want to continue what our parents did, but in other ways, we’ll have to make a conscious effort to unlearn the risks that they did or didn’t take. What proportion of our perceived...
info_outlineThere are seasons of life in which all your energy, time, and mental space is taken up by your circumstances. The thing is, you probably don’t even realize you were in a bubble until you come out of it. One major “bubble” of life is the 20 year period in which you have kids, are driving your career forward, and are likely caring for or at least keeping an eye on your aging parents.
Prior to having kids, we had a social life, ambitions, and even hobbies. But inside the bubble, our priorities are different and our own desires often get shuffled to the side. Sometimes the bubble consumes you so completely that it’s tough to keep up with world events, pop culture, or anything that doesn’t relate directly to our immediate family’s needs and wants.
Comedian Bill Burr provided the inspiration for this conversation with his skit about The Bubble. Today, Virginia and I discuss our different phases of being in the bubble.
The common rhetoric of practicing gratefulness directly conflicts with our natural desire to compare ourselves with others. Who has it worse? Does it depend on income, the number of kids, the grandparents’ ability to help, working parents vs stay at home parents? Everything’s a comparison.
The truth is, comparison and seemingly selfish thoughts are your brain’s natural tendency toward survival mode. It’s natural to look toward others as a gauge - are you doing better or worse?
Only your scenario is occupying your brain’s attention. It’s natural to think you’d handle a situation better than someone else. Our ability to understand what someone else is going through is limited by our own experience and true sympathy typically doesn’t surface until we experience something equally as tough.
In this episode, listen for:
- It does not diminish the impact your condition is having on your life and mental health, even if someone else in the world is in a worse situation [13:38]
- It's a natural instinct to keep moving forward and believe that things will get better to keep you from going down the rabbit hole of despair [27:32]
- You must be aware of where you are in your life's journey and of your personal ambitions [38:31]
“The Bubble” concept becomes most apparent at the mid-life point. Once your kids are grown, it’s possible you find yourself looking back, wondering what happened to the original goals you set for yourself in your 20s.
At this point, it’s useful to redefine what some call a mid-life crisis. Although some go about it the wrong way, mid-life is often a great time to reevaluate your lifestyle, goals, and ambitions. This is typically the point at which you’re exiting the bubble and finally have the mental space and energy to refocus on your desires in life. Are those things from your 20’s still important? It’s okay for goals to fade away, become irrelevant, or change.