Podcast Episode #20 – The Old Story and The New Story of Consciously Parenting
The Consciously Parenting Podcast
Release Date: 04/15/2020
Podcast Episode #47 – Raising Boys Q&A: Deescalation Techniques
The Consciously Parenting Podcast
Rebecca and Nathan look at how intentionally connecting with our children throughout their childhood can help us when we get to the teen years, by giving them and us the tools needed to move through intense emotions as they come up, before they escalate into something hard to handle. They also discuss ways to compassionately work with our teens in those situations where emotions have gotten very intense and the situation has escalated or morphed into something it wasn’t about originally.
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Podcast Episode #46 – Raising Boys Q&A: Maintaining Connection Through the Teen Years
The Consciously Parenting Podcast
If we have laid the groundwork by modeling healthy relating, by empowering our children to be able to identify their own feelings and needs, and by maintaining a connection with our children, we do not have to buy into the ideas of teenagers breaking away and becoming disconnected from us.
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Podcast Episode #45 – Raising Boys Q&A: Encouraging connection with others
The Consciously Parenting Podcast
As parents, we all have a similar concern when it comes to raising our kids (both boys and girls). What’s going to happen when they start to go out and have their own relationships? Have I done enough to prepare them to connect with others and have healthy relationships?
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Podcast Episode #44 – Raising Boys Q&A: Talking Bodies and Sex
The Consciously Parenting Podcast
I’m wondering how much I should “push” to have conversations about sex & sexual matters. Everything including erections are common topics, but they really shut me down when I try to take it to another level. Should I just talk to the air but out loud, should I zip it, should I just hand over a book, or wait until they are more open to talk about more? I just don’t want them to get used to holding back. I’m thinking that later it would seem awkward for them to initiate the conversation.
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Podcast Episode #43 – Raising Boys Q&A: Healthy Masculinity
The Consciously Parenting Podcast
Q&A: Healthy Masculinity
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Podcast Episode #42 – Raising Boys Q&A: Wiping, Connection, & Respect
The Consciously Parenting Podcast
Question: Why can’t my kid just wipe?
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Podcast Episode #41 – Raising Emotionally Healthy Boys (part 2)
The Consciously Parenting Podcast
In this episode, we talk about how to support our children when they are angry or upset. Similar to when children are little, we can use the skill of being patient and waiting, being with them to name their emotions but not trying to make anything specific happen faster. We need to focus on getting ourselves back to a state of regulation so we can support them.
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Podcast Episode #40 – Raising Emotionally Healthy Boys (part 1)
The Consciously Parenting Podcast
How can we best support our boys when they are young and as they grow into men? There are many cultural messages for boys around feelings, so how do we navigate that territory? How do we stay respectful of our boys’ biology and neurobiology? We want to make sure we are creating the space for their emotions and really respecting that they’re different than we are as women and moms.
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Podcast Episode #39 – Moms’ thoughts about raising boys
The Consciously Parenting Podcast
Whether you’re expecting a boy or already have one in your family, we want to do our best to raise them to be emotionally healthy members of our families and then their own families one day. But how do we do raise emotionally healthy boys?
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Podcast Episode #38 – You can put “Sad” in your pocket
The Consciously Parenting Podcast
I told her that if she was feeling sad and either she couldn't find someone in that moment to give her a hug, *or* if she just didn't want to have to do it right then, because she was out or having fun or something, then she could put her Sad in her pocket for later. I went on to say that she couldn't put Sad in the trash can. There's no getting rid of it and not taking care of it. But she could put it in her pocket and then later she could pull it out when it was a better time and get her hugs then.
info_outlineWhen I became a parent, I had an idea of how I wanted to be in relationship to my son. But I didn’t understand just how much I was carrying around from my own experiences growing up in my own family and in this culture. The Old Story of human development and family life is all about “power over” instead of “working with.” It’s about discipline that really means punishment, and boundaries that really mean to inflict pain on someone else to get them to do what we want.
I wanted a different story. This isn’t about blaming previous generations. They would have wanted to be treated with unconditional love, with respect that didn’t mean fear and boundaries that didn’t inflict pain. Their parents didn’t know how to do this because they’re not the values of our culture.
So those of us who are on this journey to parent consciously have a difficult task at hand. What does it look like? How do we parent from a place of love? How do we respect ourselves and teach our children to respect us without becoming punitive? What do boundaries even look like if we’re not adding arbitrary punishments? These are big questions and this is really the heart of Consciously Parenting.
In this episode, I share some real-life examples from my own family as I’ve discovered what this means and what it can look like. It’s taken me 18 years to get to this place and I’m happy to share what I’ve learned so that it doesn’t take you that long. And it won’t. One of the most important parts of the New Story is that we don’t have to do it all alone.
Today’s conversation is about recognizing the Old Story that you’re still carrying with you about love, respect, and boundaries and begin to open up to new ways of being in the New Story in your family. Let me know your thoughts as you listen and if you have any aha’s you’d like to share. Feel free to email me, comment on the podcast, or write something on Facebook. And if you liked this episode, please share it and help us continue the conversation about the New Story of human development and family life.
Here’s the link to the first episode of this series – Love, Respect, and Boundaries: Connecting Our Past and Future
Related post: Love Language and Hurt Language