Podcast Episode #22 – A Focus on Passion in Education
The Consciously Parenting Podcast
Release Date: 04/15/2020
The Consciously Parenting Podcast
Rebecca and Nathan look at how intentionally connecting with our children throughout their childhood can help us when we get to the teen years, by giving them and us the tools needed to move through intense emotions as they come up, before they escalate into something hard to handle. They also discuss ways to compassionately work with our teens in those situations where emotions have gotten very intense and the situation has escalated or morphed into something it wasn’t about originally.
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If we have laid the groundwork by modeling healthy relating, by empowering our children to be able to identify their own feelings and needs, and by maintaining a connection with our children, we do not have to buy into the ideas of teenagers breaking away and becoming disconnected from us.
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As parents, we all have a similar concern when it comes to raising our kids (both boys and girls). What’s going to happen when they start to go out and have their own relationships? Have I done enough to prepare them to connect with others and have healthy relationships?
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I’m wondering how much I should “push” to have conversations about sex & sexual matters. Everything including erections are common topics, but they really shut me down when I try to take it to another level. Should I just talk to the air but out loud, should I zip it, should I just hand over a book, or wait until they are more open to talk about more? I just don’t want them to get used to holding back. I’m thinking that later it would seem awkward for them to initiate the conversation.
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Q&A: Healthy Masculinity
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Question: Why can’t my kid just wipe?
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In this episode, we talk about how to support our children when they are angry or upset. Similar to when children are little, we can use the skill of being patient and waiting, being with them to name their emotions but not trying to make anything specific happen faster. We need to focus on getting ourselves back to a state of regulation so we can support them.
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How can we best support our boys when they are young and as they grow into men? There are many cultural messages for boys around feelings, so how do we navigate that territory? How do we stay respectful of our boys’ biology and neurobiology? We want to make sure we are creating the space for their emotions and really respecting that they’re different than we are as women and moms.
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Whether you’re expecting a boy or already have one in your family, we want to do our best to raise them to be emotionally healthy members of our families and then their own families one day. But how do we do raise emotionally healthy boys?
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I told her that if she was feeling sad and either she couldn't find someone in that moment to give her a hug, *or* if she just didn't want to have to do it right then, because she was out or having fun or something, then she could put her Sad in her pocket for later. I went on to say that she couldn't put Sad in the trash can. There's no getting rid of it and not taking care of it. But she could put it in her pocket and then later she could pull it out when it was a better time and get her hugs then.
info_outlineIn my continued conversation with Tanya and her 16 year old son Gavin about their educational choices, you’ll hear a refreshing perspective on following your intuition and trusting yourself.
Tanya calls on parents to turn trust we’ve traditionally given to societal systems back to ourselves and our children – whether kids are in schools or not.
Gavin shares his perspective on his learning and his current interests, which includes photography. He describes what unschooling looks like for him on a regular day.
Both Tanya and Gavin emphasize personal freedom, and the impact it has on education. It takes time and space to follow interests into passions into skills. Gavin is grateful he has this in his life. Tanya is grateful for the ease and peace unschooling has provided the family. They both urge other families to have both the patience and courage to follow a unique path that feels good for everyone.
The advice they impart touches on the current collective discussion around education, freedom, and what’s really important in this journey. This warm conversation is both enlightening and encouraging.
Resources:
Khan Academy: https://www.khanacademy.org
Follow the Sharkey family on social media:
Family: www.instagram.com/theperfectlyflawedfamily
Gavin’s Photography: http://www.instagram.com/gavinsharkeyphotography
Addy’s Makeup: www.instagram.com/Adelaide’s_Makeup
In our 7th year of unschooling, the Sharkey family is currently based out of Brooklyn, NY after being longtime resident of St. Petersburg, FL. We have a love of travel and embracing new experiences. We enjoy inviting people from around the world to stay with us through Couchsurfing.com, and offer our house and pet-sitting services through trustedhousesitters.com.