Podcast Episode #37 – Gun Violence: Supporting Your Kids
The Consciously Parenting Podcast
Release Date: 04/15/2020
Podcast Episode #47 – Raising Boys Q&A: Deescalation Techniques
The Consciously Parenting Podcast
Rebecca and Nathan look at how intentionally connecting with our children throughout their childhood can help us when we get to the teen years, by giving them and us the tools needed to move through intense emotions as they come up, before they escalate into something hard to handle. They also discuss ways to compassionately work with our teens in those situations where emotions have gotten very intense and the situation has escalated or morphed into something it wasn’t about originally.
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Podcast Episode #46 – Raising Boys Q&A: Maintaining Connection Through the Teen Years
The Consciously Parenting Podcast
If we have laid the groundwork by modeling healthy relating, by empowering our children to be able to identify their own feelings and needs, and by maintaining a connection with our children, we do not have to buy into the ideas of teenagers breaking away and becoming disconnected from us.
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Podcast Episode #45 – Raising Boys Q&A: Encouraging connection with others
The Consciously Parenting Podcast
As parents, we all have a similar concern when it comes to raising our kids (both boys and girls). What’s going to happen when they start to go out and have their own relationships? Have I done enough to prepare them to connect with others and have healthy relationships?
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Podcast Episode #44 – Raising Boys Q&A: Talking Bodies and Sex
The Consciously Parenting Podcast
I’m wondering how much I should “push” to have conversations about sex & sexual matters. Everything including erections are common topics, but they really shut me down when I try to take it to another level. Should I just talk to the air but out loud, should I zip it, should I just hand over a book, or wait until they are more open to talk about more? I just don’t want them to get used to holding back. I’m thinking that later it would seem awkward for them to initiate the conversation.
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Podcast Episode #43 – Raising Boys Q&A: Healthy Masculinity
The Consciously Parenting Podcast
Q&A: Healthy Masculinity
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Podcast Episode #42 – Raising Boys Q&A: Wiping, Connection, & Respect
The Consciously Parenting Podcast
Question: Why can’t my kid just wipe?
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Podcast Episode #41 – Raising Emotionally Healthy Boys (part 2)
The Consciously Parenting Podcast
In this episode, we talk about how to support our children when they are angry or upset. Similar to when children are little, we can use the skill of being patient and waiting, being with them to name their emotions but not trying to make anything specific happen faster. We need to focus on getting ourselves back to a state of regulation so we can support them.
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Podcast Episode #40 – Raising Emotionally Healthy Boys (part 1)
The Consciously Parenting Podcast
How can we best support our boys when they are young and as they grow into men? There are many cultural messages for boys around feelings, so how do we navigate that territory? How do we stay respectful of our boys’ biology and neurobiology? We want to make sure we are creating the space for their emotions and really respecting that they’re different than we are as women and moms.
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Podcast Episode #39 – Moms’ thoughts about raising boys
The Consciously Parenting Podcast
Whether you’re expecting a boy or already have one in your family, we want to do our best to raise them to be emotionally healthy members of our families and then their own families one day. But how do we do raise emotionally healthy boys?
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Podcast Episode #38 – You can put “Sad” in your pocket
The Consciously Parenting Podcast
I told her that if she was feeling sad and either she couldn't find someone in that moment to give her a hug, *or* if she just didn't want to have to do it right then, because she was out or having fun or something, then she could put her Sad in her pocket for later. I went on to say that she couldn't put Sad in the trash can. There's no getting rid of it and not taking care of it. But she could put it in her pocket and then later she could pull it out when it was a better time and get her hugs then.
info_outlineGun Violence, Safety, and Support for Families
Supporting Your Kids - Understanding your child’s perspective of gun violence and how you can support them.
Kids will show you that something is bothering them through their behavior, not necessarily with words. They may be more aggressive than usual. They may seem sullen or quieter than normal. They may seem to have more energy. They may start to get sick more frequently or more severely. Our culture may label these things as misbehaviors or unrelated to things that have happened, but I’ve learned that most of the time they’re actually signs of stress, of a story that they can’t make sense of, or something that they need more support to handle.
Remember the Polyvagal Theory and that we first want our kids to turn to others- adults- to help them know they’re safe and calm their stress response? To be the adult they turn to, we need to invite them to speak or to show us what they’re experiencing. We need to make room for their feelings and create a space that’s safe for them to be vulnerable and share.
What’s all this like for your kids? And what does it mean when no one talks about them? Lock down drills. Seeing things on the news. What’s their perception of safety? How are their teachers feeling? What can they do to feel like they have choice or that there’s something they can do for themselves?
While I wholeheartedly agree that we need to encourage our kids to be nice to one another and to connect, I think it is really important to recognize that we’re blaming the victims when we put these complicated situations that adults don’t know how to handle, indeed many professionals don’t know how to handle, on our kids. Our kids are supposed to be kids and the adults are supposed to keep them safe. That’s the role of the adults. But since the adults aren’t keeping them safe, they’re needing to do more adult things right now to make the changes and do what we, as adults, haven’t been able to do for them.
Next month, we’re going to be talking about raising boys. Even if you don’t have them, you know them and can help others with boys. This is part of the new story. We need to work together to support one another. It matters. The more people our boys have in their lives that they trust, the better.
Resources from this Episode
http://time.com/5011599/gun-deaths-rate-america-cdc-data/
Dr. Miller article: http://washington.cbslocal.com/2015/12/04/mass-shootings-american-psyche/
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