3366 Manage Different and Diverse Perspectives in Marriage
Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo
Release Date: 04/13/2024
4218 Making Room for Us
Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo
The love is real. You know you love him. But somewhere between the school pickups, the dinner, dishes, and dogs, and the dozen things on tomorrow’s list, you realize something unsettling. You have not actually been with him in days. Not really. You have been in the same house. Maybe even in the same room. But making room for us — for the two of you — has quietly slipped to the bottom of a list that never seems to end. And what gets pushed to the bottom eventually gets forgotten. That is not because you do not care. It is because life is loud. And marriage, by nature, is patient. It does...
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4217 She Gave Everything and Called It Love
Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo
There’s a tiredness that sleep doesn’t fix. It’s not in your body — it’s in your soul. It’s the kind of exhaustion that shows up when you’ve been pouring and pouring and no one ever thought to ask if you were empty. You made breakfast, signed the permission slips, held the crying child, smiled through the chaos, late-night conversations — and when the house finally went quiet, you realized you had nothing left. Not for them. Not for yourself. Not for the woman you used to recognize. She gave everything and called it love — and you know her because you’ve been her or might...
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4216 Hold On To What You Cannot See
Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo
Some seasons ask you to keep going when nothing around you looks any different. The bills are still there. The relationship still aches. The answer you’ve been praying for hasn’t shown up at your door with a bow on it; no overnight delivery. And somewhere in the quiet of another ordinary morning, you wonder if anything is actually happening at all. My friend — you can hold on to what you cannot see. Because the most important work rarely announces itself. It moves underground, in the places your eyes will never reach, building something your circumstances haven’t caught up to yet....
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4215 Don't Pick the Bud
Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo
You see it happening. Something in you is shifting — the way you pray, the way you respond, the way you hold your peace when you used to lose it. There’s new growth forming in your spirit, and it’s real. But before you rush to show the world, before you post it, proclaim it, or perform it for an audience, don’t pick the bud. "The bloom’s beauty comes from its budded heart that has had time to become. You can’t rush what is not ready." ~ Kristianne Wargo Desire to be supported and encouraged by other like-minded women? Join us at the . #WellspringWednesday #CreateYourNow...
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4214 Put the Mask Down
Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo
Pretending takes so much more energy than people realize. It’s not just one lie — it’s a thousand tiny adjustments every single day. You’ve been carrying it for a while now, haven’t you? That careful smile. That practiced answer — I’m good, I’m fine, everything’s great. And maybe you’ve gotten so good at wearing it that even you’ve started to believe it. But it’s time to put the mask down because you’re finally ready to be whole. Otherwise, you find youself adjusting your voice and your posture. You rearrange your face before you walk into the room. You swallow the...
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4213 The Weight of What-If
Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo
You've done it before: lying awake at night replaying a conversation that hasn't happened yet, mapping out every worst-case scenario before getting out of bed. You've carried the weight of what-if, and you didn't even realize how heavy it was until you couldn't stand up straight anymore. Fear-based thinking doesn't always look like panic. Sometimes it looks like planning. What a concept! Desire to be supported and encouraged by other like-minded women? Join us at the . #MindsetMonday #CreateYourNow #PersonalDevelopment It's the mental rehearsal of everything that could go wrong —...
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4212 Before You Say A Word
Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo
You know that moment right before the words leave your mouth — your pulse is up, your thoughts are racing, and everything in you wants to say the thing. To set the record straight. To be heard. To fire back. But before you say a word, what if the most powerful thing you could do in that moment is nothing at all? What if the gap between the feeling and the speaking is actually one of the wisest places God has given you to stand? Desire to be supported and encouraged by other like-minded women? Join us at the . #SweetSpirit #CreateYourNow #SoulfulSunday We live in a world that...
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4211 The Power of "I See You"
Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo
Something powerful happens in a marriage when one person turns to the other and says, with quiet, deliberate presence — I see you. The power of “I see you” is not about fixing anything, solving a problem, or checking something off a list. It is about pausing long enough to notice the human being standing right in front of you. The one who shows up day after day, doing the things no one claps for. The one who carries burdens they have not fully named. When was the last time you looked at your spouse and let them know that who they are matters to you? Desire to be supported and...
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4210 The Myth of the Empty Vessel
Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo
Somewhere along the way, somebody decided that the holiest version of motherhood looks like a woman who has nothing left. Pour out. Give more. Skip the meal. Skip the rest. Run yourself completely dry and call it faithfulness. And if you've ever whispered a prayer through clenched teeth because you had nothing left to give — then you've already bumped into the myth of the empty vessel. But today, you're dismantling it — because that myth was never God's design for you. Desire to be supported and encouraged by other like-minded women? Join us at the . #ConfessionsOfAnUpsetMama...
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4209 Release What You Buried
Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo
There comes a point in every season where you have to stop and take an honest look at what you've been carrying. Not everything that weighed you down was meant to travel this far with you. And today, right here, right now — it's time to release what buried you. But some of what pressed you into the ground was soil. God placed it there with purpose. It was the covering you needed, so the seed inside you could crack open, stretch its roots, and begin to grow into something only He could design. Yet some of it was never soil at all. It was just weight. Dead weight. And you've been dragging it...
info_outlineConflicts are inevitable in the journey of marriage. However, how couples manage different and diverse perspectives in marriage can make all the difference in maintaining a strong and healthy relationship.
Rather than placing blame on their spouse, each spouse can take proactive steps to manage themselves and foster understanding and compromise within the marriage.
Desire to be supported and encouraged by other like-minded women? Join us at Women of IMPACT. https://createyournow.mn.co
Then, you have to consider that when couples constantly hound each other on what they believe is right without looking at their spouse's position or opinion, it can lead to a breakdown in communication and trust within the marriage.
This behavior often stems from a place of ego and a desire to be seen as right or superior, rather than valuing the perspectives and feelings of their partner. This dynamic creates a power struggle within the relationship, where each person is more focused on proving their own point rather than understanding and respecting the other's viewpoint.
Furthermore, when couples engage in constant hounding and dismissiveness towards their partner's opinions, it can create a toxic environment of resentment and frustration. Over time, this can erode the emotional connection between spouses, leading to feelings of alienation and isolation within the marriage.
It becomes challenging to build a foundation of mutual respect and support when one or both partners are unwilling to listen and consider each other's perspectives.
Additionally, whether you're hounding or harassing or just choosing to be difficult, these cycles of wanting to be right can escalate conflicts and disagreements, turning small issues into larger, more contentious battles. This can create a pattern of communication breakdowns and emotional distance, making it difficult for couples to find common ground and work together as a team. Without open and respectful communication, couples may struggle to navigate challenges and differences in a healthy and constructive way, ultimately putting their marriage at risk.
If you want to avoid falling into the trap of being a hound dog, which can be detrimental to your marriage, then you want to step up your game.
The K.I.S.S. ~ Step up your game!
It is essential for couples to practice empathy, active listening, and mutual respect in order to foster a harmonious and supportive relationship built on understanding and cooperation.
1. Consciousness vs. Carelessness
Firstly, consciousness refers to being aware of one's thoughts, feelings, and surroundings, like being self-aware. Individuals can better control their reactions during conflicts by recognizing and understanding their triggers and emotional responses. Who wants to be careless? Your lack of attention, awareness, or concern is not going to win you any brownie points.
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, John Gottman, emphasizes the importance of self-awareness, stating, "Taking responsibility for our own emotional reactions can significantly impact how we navigate disagreements with our partners."
But again, you have to be willing to look at yourself and engage in self-examination. And that consciousness is going to take the energy of a full-time job. So prepare your mind for the hard work ahead.
2. Compassion vs. Callousness
Secondly, cultivating empathy towards their spouse's point of view is crucial. Hello, compassion! Empathy lets you see things from your spouse's perspective, fostering understanding and connection.
Research by psychologist Sara Konrath supports this, highlighting that empathy is essential for building strong and meaningful relationships.
As Kristianne Wargo, a relationship coach, wisely states, "Empathy is the bridge that connects differences in marriage and paves the way for mutual understanding."
And if you want to bat a thousand, then continue your callousness—the lack of compassion, empathy, or sensitivity towards others, which indicates a cold and indifferent attitude that contrasts with the warmth and understanding associated with compassion.
3. Collaborate vs. Compete
Lastly, adopting a collaborative mindset is key. Instead of viewing conflicts as a battle to be won, approaching disagreements as opportunities for growth and compromise can lead to more constructive resolutions.
Marriage researcher Dr. Sue Johnson affirms this approach, emphasizing that collaboration and teamwork are vital for resolving conflicts in a marriage.
Otherwise, you will find yourself keeping score, and then it will be a win-or-lose event every time you come together. Who really wants to play in the Super Bowl every day?
Managing differences and diverse perspectives in marriage requires a proactive and introspective approach. By practicing consciousness (self-awareness), compassion (empathy), and collaboration (better together), you'll be able to navigate conflicts with grace and understanding, strengthening your bond with your spouse.
"Be present. Be incredible. Be YOU!!!"
#RelationshipBuilders #CreateYourNow #LoveAndMarriage
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Cover Art by Jenny Hamson
Photo by Canva.com
Music by Mandisa - Overcomer
http://www.mandisaofficial.com
Song ID: 68209
Song Title: Overcomer
Writer(s): Ben Glover, Chris Stevens, David Garcia
Copyright © 2013 Meaux Mercy (BMI) Moody Producer Music (BMI)
One Songs (ASCAP) Ariose Music (ASCAP) Universal Music -
Brentwood Benson Publ. (ASCAP) D Soul Music (ASCAP) (adm. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) All rights reserved. Used by permission.