3366 Manage Different and Diverse Perspectives in Marriage
Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo
Release Date: 04/13/2024
4132 Been There, Dump That
Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo
You know the phrase, "Been there, done that." It's the verbal shrug we give when something no longer impresses us, no longer scares us, or no longer has anything left to teach us. To put a twist on the phrase to serve you better, why not enhance it: been there, dump that. Because here's something we never sit around and talk about when it comes to growth — it's not just about picking things up. Those new habits, new skills, new mindsets. Growth is just as much about what you're willing to put down. Desire to be supported and encouraged by other like-minded women? Join us at the . The...
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4131 Fear Isn't Who You Are
Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo
Fear rarely shows up looking like fear. It shows up looking like "that's just who I am." It shows up as "I've always been this way." It shows up in the sentence that starts with "I'm not the kind of person who..." — and ends right before you find out you actually could have been. That's the sneaky part. Fear doesn't usually announce itself. It just quietly moves into the identity you've built for yourself, unpacks its bags, and starts paying rent. And over time, you stop noticing it's even there. You just think it's you. But fear isn't who you are. We all carry a version of ourselves...
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4130 Find the Gift in the Grind
Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo
Some days don't ask permission. They just show up — loud, full, and relentless. The alarm goes off before you're ready. The inbox is already three messages deep before your coffee's even brewed. Somewhere between the meeting that ran long and the errand you forgot, you look up and realize the whole day has passed you by, and you can barely remember a single moment of it. This is the trap of a busy life: we get so wrapped up in doing that we forget to notice we're living. And in that forgetting, we lose something precious — the ability to see the good that's been sitting right in front...
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4129 Why Your Hustle Needs A Pause
Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo
How many times have you pushed through the day fueled by caffeine and sheer will, only to realize by evening your decisions are fuzzy, your energy is gone, and your brain feels like mush? Your decisions are only as good as the sleep you got the night before. Your actions are only as strong as the rest of your body took the day before. Your productivity hinges on how still and quiet your mind has been — not how fast it’s been spinning. It's no wonder why your hustle needs a pause. The culture today glorifies nonstop motion as the only path to success. But the consequence is a society on the...
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4128 The Room is Never Empty
Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo
There's a version of faith that lives in a building. You walk in on Sunday, sing the songs, hear the message, maybe even feel something shift in your chest. Then you walk out, get in the car, and by Tuesday afternoon you're back to running your week on your own steam — making decisions, carrying stress, fighting battles — like you're the only one in the room. You know that gap between the sanctuary and the rest of your life is where a lot of us quietly live. Not because we stopped believing, but because we started treating God like a scheduled appointment instead of a constant presence....
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4127 Are You Sleeping with a Stranger?
Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo
People change. That’s a truth we all accept, or at least give a nod to in passing, yet rarely sit with deeply. Time moves on, circumstances evolve, and the very essence of who we are shifts in subtle and profound ways. So why does it feel so strange with the person you share a bed with—are you sleeping with a stranger? When you lie down beside your spouse tonight, take a moment to ask yourself: Are you sleeping beside the person you once knew, or a stranger who lives in their skin? Desire to be supported and encouraged by other like-minded women? Join us at the . Change Is the Constant...
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4126 You're Not Lost, You're Just Sightseeing
Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo
Life doesn’t come with a map. It twists and turns, throws detours at us, and sometimes drops us in places we never expected. This reality hits even harder when you’re raising kids—because now you’re not just navigating your own path; you’re guiding little explorers through their own confusing journeys. Overwhelm can take over, leaving you with questions: “Am I doing this right? Are we lost?” But the thing is that you’re not lost; you’re just sightseeing. When you’re sightseeing, you don’t panic because you’re off-course. You pause. You take in the landscape. You explore...
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4125 It's Okay to Look Back
Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo
Looking back at your past is natural. It’s part of being human. We reflect on where we came from, what we’ve endured, and how we’ve grown. But there’s a line between glancing at your history and living inside it. Be careful how long you hang out with your past. Like Doris Roberts said, “It’s okay to look back, just don’t stare.” Some people get stuck in their past like it’s a favorite hangout spot—even a safe one. They replay old mistakes, clutch grudges, or drown in regrets. Desire to be supported and encouraged by other like-minded women? Join us at the . This isn’t...
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4124 Put the Phone Down
Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo
We live in a world wired for distraction. Endless notifications, the addictive drag of social media feeds, and the constant buzz of other people’s highlight reels can pull us from what truly matters. We wonder why we feel stuck—trapped in what has happened, fixated on what didn’t work, and overwhelmed by the noise of life. But here’s the brutal truth: if the past leads your present, you’re not moving forward—you’re treading water. Put the phone down. Stop scrolling through other people’s curated moments, the endless barrage of “perfect” lives. Desire to be supported and...
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4123 Get Through Today
Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo
In a world buzzing with endless tasks, deadlines, and distractions, it’s easy to get caught up in the chaos of what’s next. We pile on to-do lists, strategize for tomorrow’s meetings, plan meals, manage errands, and somehow forget the most important moment—the present. The secret isn’t to conquer every challenge at once, but to zero in on what calls for your attention right now. The goal is simple: get through today. Matthew 6:34 says— “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Desire to be supported...
info_outlineConflicts are inevitable in the journey of marriage. However, how couples manage different and diverse perspectives in marriage can make all the difference in maintaining a strong and healthy relationship.
Rather than placing blame on their spouse, each spouse can take proactive steps to manage themselves and foster understanding and compromise within the marriage.
Desire to be supported and encouraged by other like-minded women? Join us at Women of IMPACT. https://createyournow.mn.co
Then, you have to consider that when couples constantly hound each other on what they believe is right without looking at their spouse's position or opinion, it can lead to a breakdown in communication and trust within the marriage.
This behavior often stems from a place of ego and a desire to be seen as right or superior, rather than valuing the perspectives and feelings of their partner. This dynamic creates a power struggle within the relationship, where each person is more focused on proving their own point rather than understanding and respecting the other's viewpoint.
Furthermore, when couples engage in constant hounding and dismissiveness towards their partner's opinions, it can create a toxic environment of resentment and frustration. Over time, this can erode the emotional connection between spouses, leading to feelings of alienation and isolation within the marriage.
It becomes challenging to build a foundation of mutual respect and support when one or both partners are unwilling to listen and consider each other's perspectives.
Additionally, whether you're hounding or harassing or just choosing to be difficult, these cycles of wanting to be right can escalate conflicts and disagreements, turning small issues into larger, more contentious battles. This can create a pattern of communication breakdowns and emotional distance, making it difficult for couples to find common ground and work together as a team. Without open and respectful communication, couples may struggle to navigate challenges and differences in a healthy and constructive way, ultimately putting their marriage at risk.
If you want to avoid falling into the trap of being a hound dog, which can be detrimental to your marriage, then you want to step up your game.
The K.I.S.S. ~ Step up your game!
It is essential for couples to practice empathy, active listening, and mutual respect in order to foster a harmonious and supportive relationship built on understanding and cooperation.
1. Consciousness vs. Carelessness
Firstly, consciousness refers to being aware of one's thoughts, feelings, and surroundings, like being self-aware. Individuals can better control their reactions during conflicts by recognizing and understanding their triggers and emotional responses. Who wants to be careless? Your lack of attention, awareness, or concern is not going to win you any brownie points.
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, John Gottman, emphasizes the importance of self-awareness, stating, "Taking responsibility for our own emotional reactions can significantly impact how we navigate disagreements with our partners."
But again, you have to be willing to look at yourself and engage in self-examination. And that consciousness is going to take the energy of a full-time job. So prepare your mind for the hard work ahead.
2. Compassion vs. Callousness
Secondly, cultivating empathy towards their spouse's point of view is crucial. Hello, compassion! Empathy lets you see things from your spouse's perspective, fostering understanding and connection.
Research by psychologist Sara Konrath supports this, highlighting that empathy is essential for building strong and meaningful relationships.
As Kristianne Wargo, a relationship coach, wisely states, "Empathy is the bridge that connects differences in marriage and paves the way for mutual understanding."
And if you want to bat a thousand, then continue your callousness—the lack of compassion, empathy, or sensitivity towards others, which indicates a cold and indifferent attitude that contrasts with the warmth and understanding associated with compassion.
3. Collaborate vs. Compete
Lastly, adopting a collaborative mindset is key. Instead of viewing conflicts as a battle to be won, approaching disagreements as opportunities for growth and compromise can lead to more constructive resolutions.
Marriage researcher Dr. Sue Johnson affirms this approach, emphasizing that collaboration and teamwork are vital for resolving conflicts in a marriage.
Otherwise, you will find yourself keeping score, and then it will be a win-or-lose event every time you come together. Who really wants to play in the Super Bowl every day?
Managing differences and diverse perspectives in marriage requires a proactive and introspective approach. By practicing consciousness (self-awareness), compassion (empathy), and collaboration (better together), you'll be able to navigate conflicts with grace and understanding, strengthening your bond with your spouse.
"Be present. Be incredible. Be YOU!!!"
#RelationshipBuilders #CreateYourNow #LoveAndMarriage
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Cover Art by Jenny Hamson
Photo by Canva.com
Music by Mandisa - Overcomer
http://www.mandisaofficial.com
Song ID: 68209
Song Title: Overcomer
Writer(s): Ben Glover, Chris Stevens, David Garcia
Copyright © 2013 Meaux Mercy (BMI) Moody Producer Music (BMI)
One Songs (ASCAP) Ariose Music (ASCAP) Universal Music -
Brentwood Benson Publ. (ASCAP) D Soul Music (ASCAP) (adm. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) All rights reserved. Used by permission.