4133 Hear Me Out
Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo
As parents, it's easy to lose sight of the goal. We stress about how good we are at this — replaying conversations, grading ourselves on tone, wondering if we handled the moment the "right" way. Somewhere in that pressure, we start believing our job is to have it all put together. So when we're handing our children the lessons we think they need, all we can hear in our own head is: hear me out. Because the last thing you want is your child shutting down your wisdom. You've lived what you're teaching. You've got the scars, the hindsight, the answers. You want to be heard — and that want...
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4132 Been There, Dump That
Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo
You know the phrase, "Been there, done that." It's the verbal shrug we give when something no longer impresses us, no longer scares us, or no longer has anything left to teach us. To put a twist on the phrase to serve you better, why not enhance it: been there, dump that. Because here's something we never sit around and talk about when it comes to growth — it's not just about picking things up. Those new habits, new skills, new mindsets. Growth is just as much about what you're willing to put down. Desire to be supported and encouraged by other like-minded women? Join us at the . The...
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4131 Fear Isn't Who You Are
Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo
Fear rarely shows up looking like fear. It shows up looking like "that's just who I am." It shows up as "I've always been this way." It shows up in the sentence that starts with "I'm not the kind of person who..." — and ends right before you find out you actually could have been. That's the sneaky part. Fear doesn't usually announce itself. It just quietly moves into the identity you've built for yourself, unpacks its bags, and starts paying rent. And over time, you stop noticing it's even there. You just think it's you. But fear isn't who you are. We all carry a version of ourselves...
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4130 Find the Gift in the Grind
Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo
Some days don't ask permission. They just show up — loud, full, and relentless. The alarm goes off before you're ready. The inbox is already three messages deep before your coffee's even brewed. Somewhere between the meeting that ran long and the errand you forgot, you look up and realize the whole day has passed you by, and you can barely remember a single moment of it. This is the trap of a busy life: we get so wrapped up in doing that we forget to notice we're living. And in that forgetting, we lose something precious — the ability to see the good that's been sitting right in front...
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4129 Why Your Hustle Needs A Pause
Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo
How many times have you pushed through the day fueled by caffeine and sheer will, only to realize by evening your decisions are fuzzy, your energy is gone, and your brain feels like mush? Your decisions are only as good as the sleep you got the night before. Your actions are only as strong as the rest of your body took the day before. Your productivity hinges on how still and quiet your mind has been — not how fast it’s been spinning. It's no wonder why your hustle needs a pause. The culture today glorifies nonstop motion as the only path to success. But the consequence is a society on the...
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4128 The Room is Never Empty
Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo
There's a version of faith that lives in a building. You walk in on Sunday, sing the songs, hear the message, maybe even feel something shift in your chest. Then you walk out, get in the car, and by Tuesday afternoon you're back to running your week on your own steam — making decisions, carrying stress, fighting battles — like you're the only one in the room. You know that gap between the sanctuary and the rest of your life is where a lot of us quietly live. Not because we stopped believing, but because we started treating God like a scheduled appointment instead of a constant presence....
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4127 Are You Sleeping with a Stranger?
Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo
People change. That’s a truth we all accept, or at least give a nod to in passing, yet rarely sit with deeply. Time moves on, circumstances evolve, and the very essence of who we are shifts in subtle and profound ways. So why does it feel so strange with the person you share a bed with—are you sleeping with a stranger? When you lie down beside your spouse tonight, take a moment to ask yourself: Are you sleeping beside the person you once knew, or a stranger who lives in their skin? Desire to be supported and encouraged by other like-minded women? Join us at the . Change Is the Constant...
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4126 You're Not Lost, You're Just Sightseeing
Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo
Life doesn’t come with a map. It twists and turns, throws detours at us, and sometimes drops us in places we never expected. This reality hits even harder when you’re raising kids—because now you’re not just navigating your own path; you’re guiding little explorers through their own confusing journeys. Overwhelm can take over, leaving you with questions: “Am I doing this right? Are we lost?” But the thing is that you’re not lost; you’re just sightseeing. When you’re sightseeing, you don’t panic because you’re off-course. You pause. You take in the landscape. You explore...
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4125 It's Okay to Look Back
Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo
Looking back at your past is natural. It’s part of being human. We reflect on where we came from, what we’ve endured, and how we’ve grown. But there’s a line between glancing at your history and living inside it. Be careful how long you hang out with your past. Like Doris Roberts said, “It’s okay to look back, just don’t stare.” Some people get stuck in their past like it’s a favorite hangout spot—even a safe one. They replay old mistakes, clutch grudges, or drown in regrets. Desire to be supported and encouraged by other like-minded women? Join us at the . This isn’t...
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4124 Put the Phone Down
Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo
We live in a world wired for distraction. Endless notifications, the addictive drag of social media feeds, and the constant buzz of other people’s highlight reels can pull us from what truly matters. We wonder why we feel stuck—trapped in what has happened, fixated on what didn’t work, and overwhelmed by the noise of life. But here’s the brutal truth: if the past leads your present, you’re not moving forward—you’re treading water. Put the phone down. Stop scrolling through other people’s curated moments, the endless barrage of “perfect” lives. Desire to be supported and...
info_outlineIn the dance of marriage, the spotlight often shines brighter on one partner while the other fades into the shadows. Do you feel like your light shines bright for the one closest to you; do you feel seen?
For those who feel unseen in their marriage, the repercussions can be profound, touching on issues of self-worth, communication breakdowns, and a sense of loneliness within the union.
Desire to be supported and encouraged by other like-minded women? Join us at Women of IMPACT. https://createyournow.mn.co
Relationship experts emphasize the importance of feeling validated and acknowledged within the context of a partnership. Dr. John Gottman, renowned for his work on marital stability and divorce prediction, notes that "Feeling understood and appreciated are key components of a healthy relationship."
When one partner feels unseen, it can lead to a breakdown in these essential elements, creating a rift that deepens over time.
Psychotherapist Esther Perel underscores the impact of feeling unnoticed, stating, "In marriage, one often feels like they are cruising through the motions, silently screaming for attention and connection."
This silent plea for recognition can manifest in various ways, from emotional distancing to engaging in behaviors that seek validation outside the relationship.
The consequences of feeling unseen in a marriage are far-reaching. Lack of validation can erode self-esteem, leading to feelings of inadequacy and unworthiness. Communication breakdowns often follow suit, as the unheard partner may withdraw or become resentful, further widening the gap between them. Over time, the emotional disconnection can culminate in a sense of loneliness, even within the confines of a committed relationship.
"In marriage, the invisible wounds of feeling unseen can leave lasting scars on the heart, dimming even the brightest of love's light." - Kristianne Wargo
What can be done if you are the one who feels unseen?
The K.I.S.S. ~ Shine a light on what isn't seen!
Whatever stays in the dark will be unresolved in the shadows of your every day. At some point, you have to be willing to shine a light on what isn't seen.
1. Initiate Open and Honest Communication: Expressing your feelings of being unseen to your partner is the first step towards resolving the issue. Schedule a time to have a calm, open conversation about how you've been feeling and what you need from them to feel more acknowledged in the relationship. And if you are not heard, you have bigger problems.
2. Seek Couples Therapy: Sometimes, having a neutral third party guide your discussions can be incredibly beneficial. Consider seeking couples therapy to explore deeper-rooted issues, improve communication, and learn strategies to ensure both partners feel seen and heard within the marriage.
3. Focus on Self-Care and Individual Growth: While working on your relationship dynamics, prioritize self-care and personal development; who you are and who you are becoming. Engage in activities that bring you joy, pursue hobbies that fulfill you, and prioritize your emotional well-being. By investing in yourself, you can cultivate a stronger sense of self-worth and resilience, irrespective of external validation. However, this is not about you fluffing your ego. This is about you becoming a better person regardless of the circumstances you find yourself in.
Building a marriage where both partners feel truly seen requires a conscious effort to listen, validate, and appreciate one another. By acknowledging our partner's presence, celebrating their uniqueness, and fostering open communication, we can cultivate a relationship that thrives on mutual recognition and understanding.
So, take a moment to ask yourself: Do you feel seen in your marriage? And if the answer is no, it may be time to shine a light on the unseen parts of your partnership, illuminating the path towards a deeper, more connected bond.
Remember, a marriage where both partners feel truly seen is a marriage worth fighting for.
"Be present. Be incredible. Be YOU!!!"
#RelationshipBuilders #CreateYourNow #LoveAndMarriage
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Cover Art by Jenny Hamson
Photo by Canva.com
Music by Mandisa - Overcomer
http://www.mandisaofficial.com
Song ID: 68209
Song Title: Overcomer
Writer(s): Ben Glover, Chris Stevens, David Garcia
Copyright © 2013 Meaux Mercy (BMI) Moody Producer Music (BMI)
One Songs (ASCAP) Ariose Music (ASCAP) Universal Music -
Brentwood Benson Publ. (ASCAP) D Soul Music (ASCAP) (adm. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) All rights reserved. Used by permission.