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Kelly K: A Journey of Faith, Consistency, and Instilling Self-Worth in Daughters

Dads With Daughters

Release Date: 03/04/2024

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In a heartfelt and insightful episode of the Dads with Daughters podcast, best-selling author, pastor, and evangelist Kelly K shares his personal journey of parenting, step-parenting, and maintaining faith in the modern world. Joining the host, Christopher Lewis, Kelly K offers valuable advice and wisdom on the importance of consistency, faith, and instilling self-worth in children. Let's delve into the key highlights of this enriching conversation.

Consistency in Parenting and Faith:

Kelly K underscores the significance of consistency in parenting, emphasizing the need to instill godly principles in children despite the evolving landscape of parenting approaches. His message of open and honest communication, treating children with respect, and nurturing self-worth resonates deeply in today's world. By sharing his personal experiences in guiding his daughter through challenging relationships and finding solace in the teachings of the Bible, Kelly K encourages parents to embrace a steadfast approach in shaping their children's lives.

Parenting Daughters and Instilling Self-Worth:

Christopher Lewis delves into Kelly K's experience of being a father to daughters, acknowledging the challenges of instilling value and self-worth in them. Through Kelly K's candid narrative of guiding his daughter through difficult relationships and ultimately witnessing her find a godly partner, listeners gain invaluable insights into the complexities of raising strong, independent daughters. This segment serves as a reminder of the pivotal roles fathers play in shaping their daughters' identities and fostering their resilience.

Using Social Media as a Mission Field:

Kelly K's unexpected journey of utilizing TikTok to spread messages of religion and spirituality unveils a fresh perspective on engaging with a younger demographic. By viewing social media as a mission field and voicing the initial hesitance followed by a divine calling to connect with the platform, Kelly K presents a compelling narrative of adapting to novel ways of spreading faith and values.

Authentic Content Creation and Faith:

Emphasizing the essence of authenticity in content creation for the younger generation, Kelly K touches upon the significance of making biblical truths relatable and comprehensible in today's society. His success on TikTok is attributed to providing a fresh perspective on biblical teachings, underscoring the impact of authenticity and relevance in reaching a global audience through social media.

Empowering Through Devotionals and Writing:

Kelly K's transition to becoming an author and the motivation behind writing "Think About That for a Minute, Volume 2, a 40-day devotional for a fresh perspective" further exemplifies his unwavering commitment to sharing God's word. Addressing the pressing issue of biblical illiteracy in today's generation, Kelly K's dedication to crafting devotionals that resonate with his audience signifies an empowering endeavor.

Navigating Step-Parenting and Family Dynamics:

Kelly K's poignant account of his step-parenting journey sheds light on the complexities and rewards of building strong family bonds. His emphasis on displaying love, grace, and mercy towards stepchildren serves as a testament to the transformative power of genuine relationships, offering guidance to individuals navigating similar challenges. 

Kelly K's profound insights on parenting, faith, and embracing modern platforms to spread meaningful messages serve as an inspiration to parents, step-parents, and individuals seeking to integrate faith into their everyday lives. His unwavering commitment to instilling self-worth, resilience, and values in children resonates deeply, affirming the enduring impact of love, grace, and faith in our journey through parenthood.

In conclusion, this episode of Dads with Daughters with Kelly K imparts invaluable wisdom, serving as a guiding light for individuals navigating the intricate roles of parenting, step-parenting, and living a faith-driven life. For more engaging conversations and insights on fatherhood, join the Fatherhood Insider and the Dads with Daughters Facebook community. Visit kellykministries.com for more information about Kelly K and his transformative work.

 

TRANSCRIPT

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:05]:
Welcome to Dads With Daughters. In this show, we spotlight dads, resources, and more to help you be the best dad you can be.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:16]:
Welcome back to the Dads with Daughters podcast where we bring you guests to be active participants in your daughters' lives, raising them to be strong, independent women. Docs. Really excited to have you back again this week. I love being able to sit down and talk to you every week about the journey that you're on the In raising those daughters of yours. Every week, we have a great opportunity to be able to listen, to learn, to the Walk on this path together. And I say it's a path together because, you know, I've got 2 daughters. I know you've got daughters. You're listening because Dogs.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:48]:
You're passionate about your kids, and it is so important to be open to learning because there's no one right way to father. Dog. It's so important that you are open to be able to listen to others and listen to their experiences because you may find some kernels, some things that are Dom. Help you along the journey that you're on as well. I love being able to also bring you different people, different guests, different men, women, Dog. And others that have had different journeys, that they've been on different journeys themselves, that have different experiences and different resources that they can share with you. And today, Dog. Got another great guest.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:27]:
Kelly Kaye is with us, and Kelly Kaye is a best selling author, pastor, and evangelist the Whose passion is traveling the world telling people about Jesus. Kelly Kaye has made a huge impact internationally by leveraging social media with daily the Teaching videos on TikTok. Kelly's unique style of speaking and communicating the Bible has captured the heart and attention of 1,000,000. The He's also got a brand new book that he's working on. He's authored a couple of different books including Think About That For a Minute, the Volume 1 and volume 2, get lit, stay lit, spread it, and reckless love revolution. So it's got a brand new book that we're gonna be talking about as well that he's just finishing up, gonna be sending out into the world here very soon. But the Above and beyond that, he and his wife, Lindsay, have 5 children, and 3 of which are daughters. So we're gonna be talking about his own journey the As a father.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:23]:
Kelly Kaye, thanks so much for being here today.

Kelly K [00:02:25]:
Man, thank you so much for having me. It's an absolute honor.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:28]:
It is my pleasure having you here today. And one of the things that I love Dove. Doing. 1st and foremost, I wanna turn the clock back in time. You've got 5 kids, but we're gonna focus on those 3 daughters that you have. The Think back. We're gonna turn the clock back in time. What was the first reaction that you had when you found out that you were going to be a father to a daughter?

Kelly K [00:02:48]:
So first, let me explain. My oldest 2 daughters are actually my stepdaughters. So my oldest daughter is 23. Her name is Brennan, Dog. And then my middle daughter, she's 19. Her name is Avery. And then I have an, 2 year old daughter named Jet. Now I gotta tell you this, though.

Kelly K [00:03:04]:
Dog. I remember my my wife when we were dating, you know, she asked me, does it bother you that I have 3 kids? And in the moment, it was without hesitation the that I was able to say not at all. It didn't bother me at all because I had the most amazing stepmom in my life that you could ever I'm telling you, she was she raised me since I was 2 years old. Never treated me like I wasn't her child. The always included me. I never felt that she was not my mom. Right? And so I just kinda knew that god gave me her for a reason. And when I started dating somebody seriously that had children, it made sense to me, like, okay, god.

Kelly K [00:03:41]:
You gave me this stepmom because I'm gonna have to repay the What she gave to me to these other children, I didn't think I was gonna have to do it times 3, but god's got a sense of humor like that. So, honestly, when I found out I was gonna be a dad, it's Dog. Different than most people because, I'd already met these kids. That brings up another issue, though, is that Brennan, when I started dating my wife, Docs. She was 7 years old, and she thought that I was the enemy. She thought that her relationship with her mom and dad the Ended because of me, which that was not the case at all. They've, you know, long been split up before we started dating. But I had to make a choice to say, yes.

Kelly K [00:04:19]:
I I still wanna do this with her even though she was Making life pretty miserable for all of us for a short amount of time, but I just always knew. Haley, god gave you an amazing stepmom, and it's gonna be your job Docs. To pay that back. So to answer your question, what did I think? I just kinda knew. That's what god wants me to do. He wants me to be a father, and he wants Daughters and to speak their worth and value into them. And it doesn't matter if they have my blood or DNA or not. Dog.

Kelly K [00:04:47]:
That's what's amazing about God's family is that he picks and chooses. He puts you together for a purpose, on purpose. And so, to be honest with you, I was very Doug. And happy about the task at hand.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:04:57]:
So one of the things that you had talked about was that Brennan and you had the build that relationship because she saw you as that enemy. And there are other dads out there that are stepping into relationships or they're stepping into the That rule of being a step parent, maybe a little bit scared about that as well because of stepping into that, not knowing what to expect. Doc. Talk to me about what you had to do with Brennan to be able to heal that relationship, to build that relationship, to be able to get to a point the Where she didn't see you as that enemy, but saw you as a father.

Kelly K [00:05:36]:
Absolutely. Domino's. You know, here's the thing. Because I I get it. It it can be intimidating when you come into a relationship and there's already kids there, and you're not the father. Man, I get it. Dom. The first thing that you have to remember and the first thing that I tried to keep on the front of my mind is that I chose them.

Kelly K [00:05:52]:
They didn't choose me. So a lot of times, we can get into these relationships Dom. Because we love the mom, we love the woman, and then the kids don't really reciprocate that. Well, they didn't choose this, so you need to remember that. So there needs to be a Doubt. Ton of love, a ton of mercy, and a ton of grace for those children because this is brand new to them too, and they didn't do anything wrong to deserve this. They didn't pick you, the So you need to come in with as much grace as you can. So, you know, I let her be herself.

Kelly K [00:06:18]:
I let her air her frustration. I let her say and do what she needs to do. I mean, within reason. I'm still gonna be the father, and I'm still gonna keep things in line. But at the same time, I gave her space, Docs. And I let her talk about it. I let her tell me how she felt because the truth is I knew because of the relationship I've had with my stepmom that there's gonna come a time in the future Doc. Where she realizes who the dad is.

Kelly K [00:06:41]:
Yeah. I may not be the biological father, but over the next 20 years or so, Doc. She's gonna see me at every basketball game. She's gonna see me every single day. I'm gonna be the one paying for her supplies for school. I'm gonna be the one taking care of what and and there's gonna come a day where it's gonna Dog. And she's gonna say, oh my gosh. I missed it.

Kelly K [00:06:59]:
I didn't understand then, but I understand now. And it was when that day came for me, it was so amazing. Dog. And what's really cool now is that Brennan and I are best friends. We are the closest out of all my kids, she and I. Matter of fact, just a couple nights ago, we went to dad daughter date. I took her the dinner. We went shopping.

Kelly K [00:07:15]:
We went to a movie, and that's just something we love to do together. We have an extremely close and tight relationship now, but Dog. The only reason that we are able to have that is because I allowed her a ton a ton of mercy and grace at the beginning because I knew She didn't choose this. I'm choosing this, and I need to let her develop and come into this on her own. If we come in and try to make them feel awful and tell them how horrible they are for being that way, They don't understand that, and all you're gonna do is divide your family even more, and you're gonna put gaps and drive wedges Dog. Between everyone. So, really, it's just you've got to love them on their level because they're not able to love you at your level yet, and it's just that understanding that's really gonna help bridge that gap.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:07:56]:
The I really appreciate you sharing that. Now I talked to a lot of dads that have daughters. One of the things that I hear from a lot of dads is a fear. The And in the fear for you might have been a little bit different because you're stepping into being a stepdad and dad to a existing family. But the A lot of dads say that there's specifically some fear to raising daughters specifically. What would you say has been your biggest fear In raising daughters.

Kelly K [00:08:24]:
Oh, man. You know, I think my biggest fear is sending them out in the world with a feeling of being undervalued. Doc. Especially when you you come in as a step parent, they already have this sense of reject rejection. They're already gonna be carrying that around that Dog. My dad, for whatever reason, he left. And I get it, you know, from being from a divorced family as well as I carried around that weight Dog. Forever of what did I do? Why didn't you want me? How come you didn't love me when that's not really the case? So my fear was coming in to this.

Kelly K [00:08:54]:
Dog. They have this feeling of rejection from their own father. Whether it's validated or not, they're still gonna carry it. I didn't want them to leave the house Dog. At 18, 19, 20 years old still carrying that, that was probably my biggest fear is that I want them to make sure that they know who they are, who god says about them, and that they are worth so much that they don't have to just go give themselves to the 1st person that that wants them because they don't feel any value. That's the last thing I want. Was another daughter that's a statistic the of teenage pregnancy or or just somebody that that just allows themselves to be used. That breaks my heart to see girls and women like that, and that's what I didn't want to put out into the world.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:09:31]:
The Now one of the things that is always interesting for me because as I said, I've got 2 daughters myself. The You've got 5 kids, and every parent of multiple kids has to be very intentional Dog. About what they're doing to build those relationships because every child is completely different, and the You have to understand what those differences are. So talk to me about what did you have to do to build those the Relationships uniquely with every child to be able to be the dad that you wanted to be.

Kelly K [00:10:07]:
For sure. Well, I mean, again, the Grace, man. If I gotta come back to 1 word over and over, it's gonna be grace. It's understanding each child is different just like you said. They're not all gonna receive love the same. They're not all gonna receive no discipline the same. So it's really spending time getting adjusted to each child, learning their personality, what they enjoy. So what I would do is, you know, with with Brennan, you Dog.

Kelly K [00:10:28]:
Know, she loves to go to movies, so something I would do special is just make sure I would take time out to to take her to a movie, to take her to dinner. That's what she really enjoys. My son, Chase, Dog. Also my stepson, which I'm referring to them as step kids to you. I've never referred to them as step kids in front of their face or to them not one single time. That's another thing. If the coming into a relationship with kids, do all you can to make them feel like like they are yours. Whether they're calling you dad or not, you refer to them as your kids.

Kelly K [00:10:56]:
I'm telling you that does something their self esteem. But so just when I was getting to know them, I knew that's what she liked. Chase, on the other hand, he doesn't like to go do movies and stuff like that. Dog. Would have to find other things that he enjoyed. Or if if Avery likes to get gifts, you know, I'll buy her something and bring it to her. It's really just understanding each child is different, what is their love language, and then try to communicate with them on that level. That is gonna be so big.

Kelly K [00:11:20]:
What we can do, though, as adults and as parents is that the We want to love and speak to them the way that we want to be loved and spoken to. And we don't realize sometimes that that can actually be very damaging if their the Love language is quality time, and they wanna spend time with you, but yours is gifts, and you just show up with gifts all the time. Man, that's great for you. You feel like you're really knocking out of the park, but really all they wanted was Doc. Go to a movie or go to the park or just spend some time. And now that I feel neglected or less valuable to you because you're not the time with them when, really, in your mind, you went above and beyond. Right? You love to buy gifts, so you're showing them love. But it's not about what you want.

Kelly K [00:11:57]:
Dog. What they need. So it's really spending time getting to know them. I mean, our our generation has this horrible problem of just handing kids a phone or an iPad and tell them to go away. The Don't bother me. Go be on this device. We don't even know our kids. We wouldn't know how to parent them or love them or correct them properly because we don't even know who they are.

Kelly K [00:12:14]:
The We need to actually spend time getting to know them, and your kids are awesome people. They're amazing. Spend time with them. You will be the with the things that they say, the things that they know, the things that they're picking up on, and it gives you so much insight into their lives and into how Don. To be the correct parent for them, we just ignore that so many times, and then we wonder why we can't relate to our own kids. And, really, for a lot of us, it's our own fault at times.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:12:37]:
The Definitely so true, and it makes me think back to my own kids and and trying to better understand who they are. And I've only got 2. So the Being able to have 5 at at very different ages is definitely a challenge. Now talk to me about about that because the The way that you have to interact, the way that you have to father your 2 year old is gonna be very different than the Your interactions with Brennan. And so having the that very diverse age range of kids and wide age range of kids, the How do you see yourself fathering in a different way, parenting in a different way, and how do you maintain that?

Kelly K [00:13:15]:
That's a good question. You know, we were pretty intentional About letting the 3 older kids get a little older before my wife and I had children together only because I had this fear the If I have another child, I don't want to love my biological children more than the other 3. Yeah. I mean, there's there's a love there that that it it just it is what it is. You're gonna love your own child different than your stepchildren. There's nothing wrong with that. It's just that the eternal nature, you you know? But we can't let that be seen to those other children. We I don't want them to feel that way.

Kelly K [00:13:51]:
So the We were intentional about letting them get a little bit older first before we even tried just because I didn't want that. So that was part of it. So by the time that we had the Jackson Jett. The other 3 were a little a bit older. They understood. We were pretty established with our relationship, so it was okay. Yeah. It it's been a big difference the Raising an 8 and a 2 year old now versus a 23 year old, 19, and an 18 year old.

Kelly K [00:14:15]:
And, really, it's it's the Trying to keep it in perspective. Just because I've changed, I can't treat these 2 too much differently because I don't wanna paint some picture Docs. Sure. It's my older kids that I love them less or differently. So it's it's really a a juggling act of just trying to be consistent. However, if you will train your kids up the In in the way that that God tells us to and you follow the bible, it's all gonna be pretty much the same. It's gonna look pretty much Docs. Yes.

Kelly K [00:14:40]:
You're gonna grow and you're gonna change and you're gonna do things differently. But if we're consistent in just honoring god with his word, You should see some consistency in the way that we raise our children as well. Right? We're still installing godly principles into them. We're still speaking value into them. Dog. We're still letting them know who god has called them to be. So you have this element of it all looking the same even though is it the same? No. Not at all.

Kelly K [00:15:05]:
I've changed. You know, when I was in my twenties parenting, it looks a lot different than me in my forties parenting. So it's really just trying to find that consistent thread and make Docs. Sure that all of your kids and your entire family sees what you're doing. That way, they have some grace for you too, understanding that, hey. You're growing. You're changing. And I I'm just very open with my kids.

Kelly K [00:15:23]:
There's nothing I won't talk about. And I tell them, yeah. I did this with you. I'm sorry I did it that way. I was young and dumb. I'm doing it this way now. I wish I would the done that with you, and they they have grace for you. I'm telling you, if you will be open and honest with your kids about any obviously, there's some things you don't wanna Dog.

Kelly K [00:15:38]:
Talk to your kids about. But I'm just saying, on the whole, talk to them like they're real people, not somebody below you or beneath you. Give them the respect that you want given to you. Doc. And, man, they will have grace for you when it comes to parenting because they see how much you love them and that you're really pouring into them. And so many parents don't do that Doug. Today, and it's just a cultural thing that we just kinda push our kids to the side. And, man, it breaks my heart because your kids are amazing people.

Kelly K [00:16:03]:
I've said it before, but I'll keep saying it again. Your kids are awesome.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:16:06]:
The So with 3 daughters, it's not always going to be easy. You talked about one aspect of your experience in being a father to a daughter that that was not the easiest the When you first were in the lives of your first 3 kids, talk to me about or you with raising daughters, what's been the hardest part the Being a father to a daughter.

Kelly K [00:16:26]:
You know, the the hardest part, it's just gonna keep coming back to that value. Now was it the hardest part because I feared it Dog. And because I kept thinking about it and fearing it, that that's what I had to deal with, or is that just what all girls go through? I don't know. But the hardest part has been in the that value into them. I watched Brennan go through high school, date some real, quote, unquote, winners the That just really broke my heart that she was with them, and I saw the way these boys are treating her. And I just had to keep trying to tell her, Brennan, you're worth more than this. This is who you are. And I kept trying to show her in the word of god.

Kelly K [00:16:58]:
Dog. This is who god says you are, and you're valuable, and you're worth more than this. It's worth stating yourself for somebody, and and it took man, let me just give some hope to some of you. The If you are watching your daughters make these bad mistakes, there is hope. There is hope. Keep speaking truth into them. Listen. It's not your job to change anybody.

Kelly K [00:17:16]:
Only Jesus can. Dog. It's not your job to save anybody. Only Jesus can. Your job is to keep speaking the truth and showing them who Jesus is in their life. And that's what I kept doing with Brennan through each boy. Doc. Every time she would come to me crying about some guy that cheated on her or did her wrong, I just kept instilling that value of who god says the She is.

Kelly K [00:17:33]:
And I'm so happy to tell you that 23 years old, she'll be 24 next week. She is engaged to the most amazing, godly man that we are so the that he is about to join our family. We are thrilled to have him a part of our family, but we had to watch her go through terrible relationship after terrible relationship until Docs. She finally figured out her value and her worth, but she did figure it out. So, yes, that was hard. Yes, it was Dog. Scary. But, man, it's so good to know that the bible is true to its word, and that when you train up a child in the way of the lord when they're older, they will not depart from it.

Kelly K [00:18:06]:
Dog. And to see her marrying a godly man means so much to me, and I'm so excited and so happy for her. But it did go through struggles of us having to take her bedroom door off Dom. For a year, having some hard conversations and and groundings and dealing with broken hearts and but, man, keep speaking the value. Even if they don't Docs. See it. Keep going till you're blue in the face because eventually, it's gonna quicken them. They're gonna remember your words.

Kelly K [00:18:29]:
They're gonna remember what you said. And, man, to see that it it worked out and it the Panned out the way God said it would is just man, it's beautiful to me. But that's the hardest part is just getting them to understand their value. There's something about Docs. Being girls and women and guys too, but I think women deal with it more of just understanding their their own worth and really who they are and who god made them to be. That's just the way the devil really attacks women, and it's our job as men of God, especially godly fathers and husbands, is to keep instilling that value not only into our daughters, but into our wives Dogs as well.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:19:00]:
So I mentioned that you are a pastor, you are a staff pastor at Limitless 405 Church in Oklahoma. The And one of the things that you have really done to connect not only with your own parishioners, but the Even broader to a much broader audience is bring forth scripture, bring forth the bible, bring forth the religion and spirituality to social media, and you have attacked that on many different platforms, but specifically the On TikTok. And I guess going through becoming a pastor yourself, I don't know if you would have ever thought That this is where you would end up. Maybe you did. But talk to me about being a pastor and being able to the Share what you're sharing now to a I'm gonna say a young demographic because there's not a ton of people our age the that are on TikTok. There's some, but a much larger of the audience is very young. And but you're relating to them, and you're bringing a message that the Has to be relatable because of the numbers that you're seeing. So talk to me about that and maybe what you had to do to be able to to the change the way that you thought about preaching, about being a pastor, to be able to bring this to a broader audience like that.

Kelly K [00:20:24]:
You know, first, Docs. I'll just be honest with you. I did not want to get on TikTok. I don't even like first off, I just thought it was people dancing. Alright? And I was like, oh, well, I don't wanna I can't even dance anyway. Why do I need a TikTok? Duck. But my wife for years was like, Kelly, you need to get on TikTok. And, god started speaking to me, and I just knew he wanted me to get on TikTok.

Kelly K [00:20:41]:
So when god starts telling you, the You can ignore your wife, but you can't ignore God. Right? So, eventually, I said, alright. So, actually, it was a year ago. It was last December when I got on TikTok. Here's the deal, though. The I see social media as the mission field, and I think everybody should. You know, we we send people overseas, and we raise all this money for missions, and we're sending people to go preach. The But understand, the Internet, your phone is a mission field in itself.

Kelly K [00:21:06]:
You can reach people from all over the world right there on your phone. The The truth is people are holding their phones, scrolling all day long watching videos and content. It's just how it is. And you can have people that get mad saying, oh, this the The world isn't what it used to be, and I wish these kids weren't doing you can get mad all day long, but it's not gonna change anything. You can get mad or you can do something about it. And the said, you know what? I'm gonna do something about it. I see this as a mission field. If everybody's sitting there watching videos and scrolling, I'm just gonna put something in front of them that's worth watching.

Kelly K [00:21:34]:
So here's the deal. How do you keep yeah. Because I'm I'm old. I get it. Fair enough. How do you get a younger audience to engage? I mean, I'm getting between 23,000,000 views a week on Domino's. The only way that's possible is, for 1, you need to understand that this generation, they're looking for real, and they want real.

Kelly K [00:21:52]:
They recognize real. So if you get on there trying to be fake, trying to be somebody that you're not, they're gonna notice it right away. Nobody's gonna watch your content. Dog. So for 1, I've never tried to pretend to be something that I'm not. 2, I get on there, and I just answer questions that people have that I think Pastors aren't really talking about. You know, I've done videos on, you know, why do we go to church, how do we know Dog. This is the right religion.

Kelly K [00:22:16]:
What does god say about divorce? Do dogs go to heaven? I mean, I've touched on every single topic that you can think of Dog. Because that's what real people wanna know. They have real questions, especially people that are afraid to go to church because they feel judged. They have all these questions, and they don't know where to go for these answers. Dog. So I'm just giving them biblical truth in a way that they can understand because I just speak like it's me and you. And I never the Understood. When I was graduating seminary, I had classmates that would go and preach these big sermons using all this the Greek and Hebrew and these big words.

Kelly K [00:22:50]:
Like, they were trying to flex on everybody, and I never understood that, like like showing off their knowledge. Dog. I thought that we went to seminary so that we could understand complex subjects and then make them easy for others to understand. I thought that was the point. Dog. So what I do is I try to take these tough subjects that the Bible talks about, and then I try to find a way that anybody at any age, Dog. Any race, any level can connect to, can relate to, because that's what we're supposed to be, all things to all people. Right? We're not supposed to be a stumbling block.

Kelly K [00:23:20]:
We're I'm not if I just got on TikTok the started using all my Greek and Hebrew, trying to make these flashy messages. No one's gonna watch them. But the fact that I look like everybody else, I sound like everybody else, And I'm giving you what you want to know in a way that you can understand it. People connect with that, and they keep watching. You know, I I do scriptures that everyone have read a 1000000 times,

Kelly K [00:23:41]:
I'm just giving a fresh perspective on it because I'm making it fit today's society. I'm not changing the word of god. How did Jesus teach? He told stories. Docs. He used things that people understood from their day and age, and that's the exact same thing that I'm doing. And it's just working. Now I gotta give God all the credit the Who am I? Or I'm just some crazy looking dude on the Internet. God is doing all the work.

Kelly K [00:24:02]:
I'm just trying to be obedient. So that's how I got started and how I've been doing this thing.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:24:07]:
So I also talked about the fact that you also have taken those messages and you've become an author as well. And you've got a brand new book that is gonna be coming out very Docs soon called Think About That for a Minute, volume 2, 40 day 40 day devotional for a fresh perspective. Talk to me about the Not only this book, but talk to me about what led you into wanting to move into writing. I've been an author before. Door. I've written I've written a book myself. It's not easy.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:24:39]:
It it takes a lot of time, a lot of patience, a lot of effort. The So was that calling that made you say, I need to bring these messages out to the world, and what is now bringing you Doc. To writing this new book to help people in a different way.

Kelly K [00:24:54]:
I never thought I was gonna be an author. I never wanted to be an author. Docs. I barely graduated 8th grade English class, man. But it was in 2016 when I released my first book, Reckless Love Revolution, and the only reason I wrote it is the god laid it so heavy on my heart to write that book that I didn't know what else to do. So I wrote that book, put it out. It did alright. It sold the Between 510,000 copies, something like that.

Kelly K [00:25:16]:
I mean, that's over a 5 years span. And then after I wrote reckless love, I wrote get lit, say lit, Docs. Which is about how to get on fire for Jesus and not burn out. I wrote that one because as I I'm a full time traveling evangelist. I'm the associate pastor in our church, but Dog. 3 weeks out of the month, I travel and preach to other churches. And what I noticed around the country, everywhere I went, is I was seeing burnt out Christians Dog. Everywhere I went, and it was breaking my heart.

Kelly K [00:25:41]:
So I wrote this book about getting on fire and staying on fire because the truth is we can live on fire 247. We don't have to burn out. So Dog. I write those 2 books. They did okay. Like I said, a few 1,000 copies. Nothing crazy. Then I start praying, alright, god.

Kelly K [00:25:56]:
What Dog. Do you want me to write next? And I really felt like God was saying, Kelly, the words of Kelly Kaye aren't gonna change anybody's life. The It's my word that changes people's life, so feed my sheep. And I said, okay. And then I remembered Psalms 1 1 through 3 that Docs. Says that if we meditate on God's word day and night, we will prosper in all seasons of our lives. Here's the problem. Most Christians aren't prospering.

Kelly K [00:26:18]:
Why? Because they're not spending time in the word. The truth is we live in the most biblically illiterate generation of all time. People do not know what the Bible says because Noah. Nobody's reading it for themselves. So I really felt like God was calling me to feed the sheep, meaning give them his word. So I said, alright. I'll write this 40 day devotional. Now I was finishing it up right at the time that God called me to get on TikTok.

Kelly K [00:26:40]:
So I've been on TikTok for about 3 months. I had about 50,000 followers. The I released that book. Now my other 2 books, like I said, did about 5 to 10000 copies each, something like that over, you know, span of 5 years. Dog. I was expecting this one to do the same. But as the TikTok following kept growing, at the end of every video, I would just say, hey. If you like this message, check out my new book.

Kelly K [00:27:00]:
It's a 40 day devotional. The That book started selling like crazy. Like, it started selling around 200 copies a day simply because of the views on TikTok. Doc. And I knew when I wrote that, I called it volume 1 because I just had a feeling god wanted me to write more of those, and now I totally see why. The response from that the 1st devotional. And I I call it think about that for a minute based on Psalms 1 because all you're doing is meditating on god's word. That means thinking about it.

Kelly K [00:27:26]:
That's all it is. Dog. I'm giving you a scripture each day to think about and meditate on so you get the word in you. The response from that book has been insane. People saying they love the fresh the perspectives and and the way that I break down scripture and and tell stories. So naturally, writing another one was just the The next thing to happen. So it's completely finished. It's just going through the editing and the finalization period right now, volume 2.

Kelly K [00:27:51]:
Dog. And I think we've already told probably close to 500 preorders for that book. So I I cannot wait to see what God is gonna do with it. But, man, just seeing people every day write Docs. That they've given their life to Jesus, so they got on fire for Jesus again or rededicated their lives simply because they got in that book and it the It just helped them with their walk with God. Man, that's what it should be anyway. You don't need my book. All I did was give you a scripture, and I helped you meditate on it daily.

Kelly K [00:28:17]:
All I did was help you fulfill the Bill, the promise God gave to you that if you will get into his word and meditate on it day night, you'll prosper in every season of your life. It's nothing that I did. The I just gave you the word and made it simple. I'm telling you. It blesses me that this book has done so good. And what even blesses me more than anything was that Docs. It wasn't anything that I did. I just gave them God's word.

Kelly K [00:28:38]:
You know, I wrote 2 books trying to knock it out of the park myself, and they were wildly mediocre. And then here, I just Give god's word, and it's a huge hit. And it's like, god, you're so good. You you know exactly what people need. They don't need me. They need you, the that's what I give them. So that's why I'm so pumped about this new book about to come out because it's just more of what already worked, more of God's word.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:28:59]:
So as you think about the future, what's next?

Kelly K [00:29:02]:
Dog. For me, all I wanna do is I wanna keep traveling, and I wanna keep preaching. I wanna keep writing I I just want to get Jesus in front of as many the people as I can. It just there's a passion. It just burns inside of me. I want to see people get set free. I want people to understand the freedom that Jesus paid for on the cross and that eternity doesn't start in heaven. It starts here on earth, and you can have an abundant life here.

Kelly K [00:29:28]:
We don't have to wait till we die to have the blessings that god's got for us. I want people to step in to the amazing freedom and just the relationship Docs. They can have with Jesus. And, I'm not slowing down. So, I mean, my calendar is already filling up for next year. I'm gonna keep making videos every single day. I'm gonna keep writing books. Dog.

Kelly K [00:29:46]:
I have plans to go to all 5 regions of Africa this next year, to go to Tokyo, to go to Australia. Man, I'm just gonna put Jesus in front of as many people as I can. That's what's next Me.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:29:55]:
Now we always finish our interviews with what I like to call our fatherhood 5 where I ask you 5 more questions to delve deeper into you as a dad. Are you ready?

Kelly K [00:30:02]:
Let's go.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:30:02]:
In one word, the What is fatherhood? Love. When was a time that you finally felt like you succeeded at being a father to a daughter?

Kelly K [00:30:10]:
The day that the Britton and I were driving in the truck, and she said, I finally see that you've been my dad all along. And that was just Dog. My heart slowed up. It was just the greatest moment remembering all the pain and trials we went through while she was growing up to see that doc. We finally had the relationship that I'd wanted since day 1. That was it.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:30:30]:
Now if I was to have your kids here, you know, I was talking to them, how would they describe you as a dad?

Kelly K [00:30:36]:
They would say that I the think I'm funny. He thinks he's funny. That's what they would say. And they think I am too. They just won't let you know that. But I'm I'm hilarious. I got the best dad jokes. Docs.

Kelly K [00:30:45]:
Okay.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:30:45]:
Are any dad jokes good?

Kelly K [00:30:47]:
Every single one of them, I tell it.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:30:50]:
Now who inspires you to be a better dad?

Kelly K [00:30:52]:
My stepmom. Knowles. She passed away a couple years ago at 55, but I still think about her every single day when it comes to being a parent. She showed me what it's like Dog. To love. No matter what, she showed me what it looks like to be a Jesus follower. She showed me what it looks like to love like Jesus. She's been my biggest inspiration as a parent for sure.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:31:11]:
The Now you've talked about a lot of different things today, things that you've learned along the way, things that have helped you to be a better dad, and you've given a lot of piece of advice. As we finish up today, what's 1 piece of advice you'd wanna give to every dad?

Kelly K [00:31:23]:
Give grace, give mercy, and instill value. If if you will do those things right there, if you will give your kids grace, show them mercy, and you will teach them who they are, the I'm telling you when they grow up and I've I've got kids that are 2, and I've got kids that are 24, so I've seen it play out. If you will do that, you will have some godly the Adults, godly kids that grow into amazing godly adults. And what you want is for your kids to do the same thing with their kids and sell value, Doc. Show mercy and give grace and just keep that cycle going. That way, your kids aren't gonna have to break off horrible generational curses that you pass down. The We get to choose what we pass on to our kids. Be intentional about it when they're little so you're not having to fix it later when they're adults.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:32:07]:
Now, Kelly Kaye, I just wanna say thank you. Thank you for being here for the your story. If people wanna find out more about you, where should they go?

Kelly K [00:32:14]:
You can go to kellyk ministries.com. You can get my books there. You can find all my socials there. Honestly, you can Google Kelly Kaye Ministries or Kelly Kaye Preacher, and you will find more than you care to find about me. I promise you.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:32:28]:
Well, Kelly Kaye, I just wanna say thank you again for your time, your passion, and for sharing your own journey as a father today.

Kelly K [00:32:35]:
It's an honor. Thank you for Daughters. Having me. I really enjoyed our time together and hope we get to do it again.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:32:39]:
If you've enjoyed today's episode of the Dads with Daughters podcast, we invite you to check out the Fatherhood Insider. The The fatherhood insider is the essential resource for any dad that wants to be the best dad that he can be. We know that no child comes with an instruction manual, and most dads are figuring it out as they go along. And the fatherhood insider is full of resources and information the that will up your game on fatherhood. Through our extensive course library, interactive forum, step by step road maps, the and more. You will engage and learn with experts, but more importantly, dads like you. So check it out at fathering together .org. If you are a father of a daughter and have not yet joined the Dads with Daughters Facebook community, there's a link in the notes today.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:33:26]:
Daughters is a program of fathering together. We look forward to having you back for another great guest next week all geared to helping you raise strong, empowered daughters the And be the best dad that you can be.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:33:38]:
We're all in the same boat, the and it's full of tiny screaming passengers. We spend the time. The Dogs. Presents. Bring your a game because those kids are growing fast. The time the just like a dynamite blast calling astronauts and firemen, Domino's. Be the best dad you can be.