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Building Positivity: A Dad's Journey to Mentorship and Fitness

Dads With Daughters

Release Date: 03/18/2024

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More Episodes

In a heartfelt and candid episode of the Dads with Daughters podcast, Dr. Christopher Lewis engages in an inspiring conversation with Joe Martin, the owner of Relentless Positivity Fitness and a dedicated father. As Joe reflects on his journey as both a father and a mentor to middle school-aged children, he emphasizes the importance of perseverance, positivity, and building strong relationships. The discussion delves into Joe's personal struggles, triumphs, and the profound impact of leading by example in fatherhood and fitness.

Mentoring and Building Relationships:

Joe Martin sheds light on the pivotal role of mentoring, particularly with middle school-aged children, recognizing this age group's vulnerability and potential. He stresses the significance of trusted resources outside the home, like a coach, in connecting with kids and fostering meaningful relationships. Joe's emphasis on building relationships with children through shared activities and finding common ground underscores the powerful impact of positive mentorship.

Fitness and Overcoming Challenges:

As the owner of Relentless Positivity Fitness, Joe Martin's passion for fitness emanates from his experiences as an athlete, where he battled weight gain and injury during his football career. Through his own fitness journey, Joe not only overcame adversity but also redefined his identity. His journey serves as a testament to the transformative power of perseverance and the impact of modeling a healthy lifestyle for children.

Personal Transformation and Resilience:

Joe Martin's openness about his past struggles, including arrests and incarceration, offers a poignant insight into his journey of redemption and personal transformation. His determination to change his lifestyle, while initially centered on weight loss, ultimately led to a holistic transformation, reinforcing the importance of resilience in overcoming adversity.

Parenting and Fatherhood:

The conversation pivots to the challenges and triumphs of fatherhood, with Joe Martin eloquently articulating the emotional journey of watching his son embark on a new chapter at the Air Force Academy. Through his vulnerability, Joe emphasizes the importance of allowing children to fail, sharing personal struggles, and prioritizing one's spouse in parenting. His candid reflections resonated with Dr. Christopher Lewis and emphasized the depth of emotional investment inherent in fatherhood.

The Power of Positivity and Community:

Joe Martin's dedication to spreading positivity is not confined to fitness but permeates his podcast and book, both titled "Relentless Positivity." During the conversation, the significance of countering negativity with uplifting narratives and inspiring stories becomes evident. His book, combining personal experiences with lessons on fitness and back pain management, emphasizes flexibility and inspiration over rigid approaches—underscoring the value of a positive mindset.

Fatherhood Insider and Community Engagement:

Dr. Christopher Lewis invites dads to join the Fatherhood Insider, a valuable resource, and encourages involvement in the Dads with Daughters Facebook community. This proactive approach seeks to foster a supportive environment where fathers can learn from each other's experiences, gaining insights and strengthening their roles as active participants in their daughters' lives.

The engaging conversation with Joe Martin encompasses the profound impact of mentorship, fitness, and positive parenting. His journey from adversity to resilience, coupled with his unwavering dedication to fatherhood and positivity, serves as an inspiring example to all. By amplifying the importance of building strong relationships, personal transformation, and embracing a mindset of relentless positivity, Joe Martin's narrative resonates deeply with the mission of "Dads with Daughters" in promoting and empowering positive father-daughter relationships.

 

TRANSCRIPT

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:05]:
Welcome to Dads With daughters. In this show, we spotlight dads, resources, and more to help you be the best dad you can be.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:16]:
Welcome back to the dads with daughters podcast where we bring you guests to be active participants in your daughters' lives, raising them to be strong, independent Women. Really excited to have you back again this week. As always, every week, you and I are on a journey together. You know, I've got 2 daughters. You've Got Daughters. We're on this fatherhood journey together, and we're doing the things that we can do to be able to be the best dads that we wanna be. And the That comes with work, that comes with some hard work, that comes through the days, the weeks, the months, the years that the You go side by side with your children to be able to help them to be the people that you're hoping that they become, and you don't have to do this alone. I've said that Numerous times, and I will continue to say it.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:03]:
There are so many other dads out there that are going through the same journey, And they struggle with very similar things, and they go about fatherhood in different ways. And that's why it's so important that we have these conversations, that we sit down, we Dog. Talk about it. We build a community for you to be able to meet other dads, learn from them because there's no one right way the father. There's many different ways that people do father, and you learn along the way. You learn as things change in your life, in your kids' life. And you can learn from the dads around you, but you can also learn from dads through things like this. That's why every week I love being able to Dog.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:42]:
Talk with you, sit down with you, and bring you different guests with different perspectives, different experiences that can help You to think about fatherhood in a little bit different way. This week, we've got another great guest with us. Joe Martin is the owner of Relentless Positivity Fitness. He teaches in person as well as online classes. He's won several awards, including Huntsville's healthiest trainer, Huntsville's healthiest male. The Relentless Positivity Fitness was was just recently voted the best place in Huntsville to work out, and his book, the Relentless positivity hit the Amazon's bestseller list. Now we're gonna learn a little bit more about that, but he has a long journey of being a athlete and working in fitness and found also at one point, he was above 50 pounds overweight. And I I think all of us at one point in life can probably look at that and look at ourselves and say, are we where we wanna be, and how is that impacting us as men, But also how is that impacting us as fathers? And it's a it becomes a turning point for yourself, and it was a turning point for Joe too.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:47]:
So I'm really excited to be able to to learn from him today, learn from him as a father. He's a father of a son who is just about to go off to the Air Force Academy, and he's gonna grow. He's gonna fly off the nest here to go and do go into the next phase of his life. Doug. So he is going through when I what I told you I was going through last year. So I'm really excited to talk to him, to learn from him, and to share him with you. Joe, thanks so much for being here today.

Joe Martin [00:03:14]:
Dog. I'm really excited to be here. We talked a little bit before we we started that there's no instruction manual when it comes to being a dad. So what you're doing is so important. Building strong dads out there that can build strong daughters Doc. It's so important. It kinda, you know, that old Frederick Douglass quote talked about it. It's it's much easier to build strong children than it is to fix or or repair a broken man or a Woman.

Joe Martin [00:03:32]:
I'm in the fitness world, so I've been training women exclusively for 15 years. And a lot of the stuff they're dealing with as adults goes back to childhood. What you're doing right now, helping people cut that off before it ever happens, man. It's so important. So I appreciate what you're doing out there.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:03:44]:
So now I usually start with some conversations to talk about the What it was like to be a father of a daughter. You don't have that experience, but you do have a you were a father of a son. So talk to let's go back a little bit. Let's talk a little bit about that journey that you've been on the And what you've had to learn along the way. So let's turn the clock back. Your son is a senior in high school, and as you think back to that first moment, the first moment when you found out that you were going to be a father, what was going through Doug.

Joe Martin [00:04:07]:
Man, all the emotions. All of them. You think, oh my gosh. I'm not ready. I'm excited. I need to make more money. I need to be less busy. All these things are going through your head.

Joe Martin [00:04:16]:
Doc. You don't know what to expect. You know, anytime you you're doing something new, all the fear comes in. Also a lot of excitement, and I was really excited about being a dad. I had amazing parents growing up. So I kinda I got modeled that growing up. I was excited to give it a shot. And I was the 1st in my family to have a kid, man.

Joe Martin [00:04:29]:
So it's very exciting. I've got 2 brothers and 1 older, 1 younger. So I was, like, kind of the first one. So no one the They couldn't ask my brothers about us, you know, but I've got a lot of people around me that really helped me out. But mainly, it was just the overwhelming thing with excitement and gratitude, just be able to have this chance to be a dad.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:04:43]:
Now fatherhood is never Always roses. It's not always easy. You go through peaks and valleys as you go along. Talk to me about Doc. What you had to go through as a father to be able to be the father that you wanted to be as you went through those peaks and valleys.

Joe Martin [00:05:00]:
I think a lot of it's, you had a previous guest Docs. Talking about watching your kids fail. How it's it's so hard to do, but man, it's so important. Even watching them hurt themselves. You know, when you tell them over and over, don't do that. Dog. Well, words mean one thing, actions mean another. You know, when they go and I tried to tell you and then you, you know, you touch the burning stove or whatever that version of that for your kid is.

Joe Martin [00:05:19]:
But That was one I'm just watching them fail. I mean, it's so tough. You wanna put them in this, you know, bubble wrap and send them out the world, and don't get hurt. Don't have to any challenges, but that's not the way the world works. Docs. And that's not how you grow, and that's not how you change. That was a tough lesson to learn. Also with, sports, like, you mentioned I was an athlete growing up.

Joe Martin [00:05:35]:
My son sports important to him. He's gonna go play Dault Air Force Academy. It's huge opportunity. But just looking back on his journey, when he first started getting a sport, he's telling me, oh, how good I was back in the day. Nobody cares about Dog. Right? Are you sure about how good you were? That doesn't mean anything to these kids. Tell them your struggles. Tell them that, hey, man.

Joe Martin [00:05:51]:
I had this coach that told me I would never play a down on varsity ever. Tell them I was scared the to death to go out of my 1st varsity game. I thought I was gonna throw up. You know, all these things that share your struggles. That's where they lean in and connect, and they say, oh, okay. Well, I struggle. I'm not very good at this yet.

Joe Martin [00:06:06]:
The I just started playing this. I don't wanna hear about how good you are. I'm terrible at this. I wanna hear that there's a chance that you struggled and you became better. I think as dads, you kinda wanna, back in the day, talk about how good you are and how you the Throw that football over a mountain back in your day. But if you can if you can share your struggles, I think that was a big lesson that I learned personally that, you know, they're gonna connect with that much more than they are. You talk about how good Door Stuff. And then just, hey, teaching them that your wife, their mother is the most important thing in their world. And you you do that by you modeling I'll tell

Joe Martin [00:06:34]:
Doc. Tell you this what. I had one of my mentors tell me one time that put your wife on a pedestal and see what child you raise. Put your wife down all the time and see what kind of a person he become. Doc. You could talk like I said, we talked about earlier. All these words are very important, but they can wanna wanna watch what you do with your actions. So if you, you know, put your wife up on a pedestal to show you how important she is, how the She loved all these things, and you continue to date your wife, love your wife, show what love a true relationship looks like. That's what they're gonna do. But if you go the other way, it's Docs.

Joe Martin [00:07:00]:
What they're gonna do as well.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:07:00]:
So talk to me about the hardest part that you have found in being a dad to a son and just being a father in general. What's been the hardest part for you?

Joe Martin [00:07:08]:
I think the hardest part for me is coming Dog. He leaves. And he goes, he's the only child, man. This is, my wife and I's only child. We've been tight since day 1. And and just, you know, that Daily routine and just checking in and doing all these things. And our life pretty much revolves around what he does. His activities, hanging out with him, Doc.

Joe Martin [00:07:24]:
Seeing him and his girlfriend, what they're doing, going to church together, all these things. I mean, like, 3 fourths of our days revolves around, yo, what's he doing? Yo, man, what's he doing? What are we doing together? What's for dinner? That's a big one around here because he's a he's a big kid, man, so he's always eating. That's gonna be tough. That's what I like I said, our daily routines, his basketball games, his school, dude, his laundry. I'm I'm not gonna lie. I'm not I'm not ready for that one to go away, but there's a lot of thing. I think that's that one's coming up. He's been a pretty awesome kid growing up.

Joe Martin [00:07:50]:
Probably the ones I've I've shared before the biggest struggle, just watching him fail along the way and have watching him hurt, have his heart broken, you know, when his 1st girlfriend breaks up and those type of things are so hard to go through. Dog. I imagine this one coming up is gonna be big. When you're going through it right now, let me ask you. How's that going for you so far?

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:08:03]:
You know, it is different. We but we have 2 kids, so we still have 1 at home, but They both daughters are very different from one another. So my oldest was uber involved in everything. So just like your son, the We got involved in all the things that she did. Whereas my younger daughter is not involved as much Dog. In is involved in very few things that she gets involved in. And because of that, she is just a very different kid. And so There is a sense of loss when you as parents, when you start missing out on the The things that your kids used to do that you spent a lot of time doing.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:08:47]:
You have to get over it and you have to keep keep going. And just because they're Not there and not doing those things doesn't mean you can't go to the basketball games or to the you know, if they were in involved in marching band, go to the marching band competitions or Or other things like that, but it's just different. And you have to then adjust, and you have to look at the new normal. And I know it's gonna be very different when the youngest goes off to college, and then we are empty nesters per se. And you're only seeing them when they come home for Breaks or in between terms. I mean, your kid's gonna be going far away from home. My kid went about 11 hours away from home. Dom.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:09:27]:
So we try to stay in contact through things like FaceTime or through weekly check ins, daily check ins, but we let her tell us the what the schedule needs to be and try not to push our agenda of wanting to talk to her. And I'm sure that pretty much every the Parent has to have that kind of a conversation. It has to be willing to let go and step back and be willing to let their kid fly a bit And then let them dictate how much or how little that they do communicate. I found that I was over communicating a little bit. The And my wife came to me and said, our daughter has said that you're sending too many things. And I said, that wasn't my intent. The I was just responding to what she was sending me. Well, she was responding to me because I was sending her something, but I was sending too much.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:10:20]:
So I said, okay. I will step back. I won't say anything, and I will let her take the lead. And it's it's hard to do, Dog. But you have to do it.

Joe Martin [00:10:31]:
For sure. Yeah. That's what we're looking at. And then who are my wife and I when we don't have kids together? We have to kinda rekindle that and figure out what we look like together as a couple without the kids. So that's gonna be another Docs. When you go to Air Force Academy, you got 6 week to boot camp, 0 communications. That's gonna be something that we struggle with right there. And then he's gonna be super busy, Dog.

Joe Martin [00:10:47]:
That's part that's how it works. That's how it's supposed to work. Talk about flying out of the nest. That's how it's supposed to work. Right? You graduate high school. You're supposed to go be your own person, and Dog. Probably the best way. Just rip the Band Aid.

Joe Martin [00:10:57]:
Let's get it going.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:10:57]:
That definitely is ripping off the Band Aid when they fly away and they go for the first time That far away, we had those conversations about you're not gonna be able to come home. You're not gonna be able to constantly be able to just leave for a weekend and take a trip back Because of the expense and the amount of time, and we may see you once or twice the in a term. And that becomes the reality when your child does go far away. But that happens even after they graduate from college or they go the Into the workforce, and they move away if they're not gonna be close to home, and then you have to deal with that too. And you're right, though. You do have to come to that new reality with your with your partner in life the To be able to figure out who you are again and hopefully along the time, along the years that you have been together, That you have built a strong foundation so that when all that time and all that effort that you have put into raising your the Child goes away, and I say go away. It's still there because you're always gonna be a parent, but it's different. And the house is much quieter, and the You're going to have to come up with that new normal so that you still connect and that you then have other things to connect on Outside of all of the effort and time and passion that you put into raising your child.

Joe Martin [00:12:17]:
I'm not gonna lie. I'm I'm kinda excited to see what it looks like. The My wife jokes around that she's just gonna adopt another basketball player. We'll do it all over again. And I've I've nixed that idea, but she's she might be serious. I'm not sure.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:12:26]:
There's been some families that I know that after their child graduates or leaves, they may have exchange students, or they may do something else Doc. To fill that void, to be able to or or they get involved with mentoring, or they get involved in coaching, or they get involved in something else Doc. That still connects them with youth in different ways because of the void that they feel internally.

Joe Martin [00:12:53]:
Yeah. I get that. I've been working with kids for a while. Still end up Dom. Middle school age is 10 to 14 year old. That's when kind of a that's the age it's so crucial, and it's it's a tough age. So I like to work with that age group. I imagine I'll put more resources Docs.

Joe Martin [00:13:05]:
That. We we did have an opportunity to host a foreign exchange student from Croatia. I'm not sure if we're gonna do it or not, but he's a basketball player. So my wife's pretty excited about that. So Doug. I don't know. We'll we'll see what that looks like, but you're right, man. It's gonna be something you can put your energies into.

Joe Martin [00:13:17]:
I'm excited about that as well. Just kinda freeing up that space to to make a difference. Dogs.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:13:21]:
Now I know you said you work with a lot of that middle school age population, but you also have done a lot with mentoring and and trying to build those strong relationships with not only the kids that you're mentoring, but your own son as well. And I know you've done things to be able to better understand what mentoring the is or should be. So talk to me about mentoring and the importance of mentoring in kids and what you found the That you've had to do to be that positive mentor for youth that you work with.

Joe Martin [00:13:50]:
Yeah. We also talked a little bit before we got on about how we're kinda experts in our field, But our kids don't care. You know, you hear she was talking to your daughter about getting college admission. People pay you really good money to do that. People pay really good money to me to do fitness. Our kids do not care. So you kinda need that trusted resource outside of the home that can help, like a coach or something like that. That's kinda where I'd my I got a coaching background.

Joe Martin [00:14:11]:
I coach fitness. I coach football. Doc. That's where my background came from. So so with some kind of some steps you could do if you're looking to connect with your kid, or maybe it's you're an uncle or something like that. You wanna help out one Doc. Your friend's daughters or something like that. You're an aunt.

Joe Martin [00:14:22]:
Something like that you wanna help out. 1st, though, you gotta make a connection somehow. These kids have to know that you care about them. You have your best interest in mind. Doc. And I'm just saying, if they like it, I love it. You know, I got kids that they wanna talk about Minecraft. Not my favorite subject.

Joe Martin [00:14:35]:
I don't know if you're familiar with Minecraft, but if they like it, I love it. So I'm gonna find out what is what is about it. I'm gonna, hey. What what are you doing with that pickaxe? And they're like, what do you know about pickaxe? I was like, well, what I Googled. That's what I know about it. But, Dog. Just kind of finding the the common ground that we can work from there. A lot of the kids I work with, they like my dog.

Joe Martin [00:14:52]:
We can just talk about my dog because Doug. I I don't know if you've seen that with your kids that it's easier to get them to talk when you're doing an activity rather than sit down and just face to face, we're talking like we are right now. My son, it was Doc. Either we'll we'll be in the car and we'd be driving, so it's not the awkward, like, staring at each other, or we go throw the football or shoot baskets or do something else other than just sit there face to face and have Dads With conversation. We've had some of those, some important ones. You gotta sit down and do that. But to kinda get them to talk to you sometimes, it's easier if you're doing an activity. So we kinda take it Dog.

Joe Martin [00:15:21]:
The approach, like, for me, it's fitness mentoring is what I look at it. The kids kinda come in and think, oh, I'm gonna exercise and get a little bit better shape and do some things like this. So it's not like Doc. Most kids are, hey. I wanna go get mentored. They don't really know what that means, but they've you know, I wanna go in there and do some fun exercise, move around a little bit. Because the first thing you do is gotta make that connection. Dom.

Joe Martin [00:15:39]:
If you're a parent, you probably have that connection with your kid. But if you're mentoring another kid, you probably need to find some kind of way. I recommend looking and finding out what they're most into, and you get into it as well. Dog. And we start there. And then far as what we actually do together, far as goal setting and things like that, I'll talk to the parents, I'll talk to the kids, and we'll figure out a a realistic goal that they can do. Doc. Some of them just wanna move around a little bit, just feel better.

Joe Martin [00:15:59]:
A lot of kids I work with, they're not athletes. They're more on the computer game side. They're ready to play the A video game or or read a book or something like that, more artistic or things like that, that the physical realm is not really something they're familiar with. I mean, just getting them moving a little bit is so big as far as mentally, the Physically, emotionally, all these different things because and a lot of them are have to do with bullying. So if we can just get talking about that, and that's a big thing, Dog. Especially at that age group. It's middle school, 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th grade, around there. Like I said, I've been working with kids about 15 years and social media changed the game.

Joe Martin [00:16:29]:
And then COVID changed it even more. Even the past 3 years, I've seen a huge difference in how the kids are in the past few years. A lot of it gets back to the parents. Docs. Some of them kinda checked out during the pandemic. They're dealing with so much other stuff. They kinda checked out and the kids are kinda left to do their own thing.

Joe Martin [00:16:45]:
And just getting back in and making a physical connection. These kids, a lot of them don't have in person friends like we used to growing up that we didn't have choice. Doggy. The kids in your neighborhood and things like that. Some there's kids all around my neighborhood. I rarely see them outside. We I live right next to a park.

Joe Martin [00:16:59]:
And unless there's organized sports, Dog. Many kids that just go out and play and do physical activities. Just kind of getting to reconnect with that and just get kids moving. It doesn't matter what kind of movement. We're not doing Docs. Some kind of serious fitness program or something like that. If we can just teach kids some general movement patterns and and we got one because I have a I got hardwood floors in my gym. 1 Dog.

Joe Martin [00:17:18]:
Kid, he likes to take his shoes off. I have TRX. He likes to slide on his socks on the hardwood floors. And we have set up these foam rollers. So it's like this Angry Birds game where he knocks over the the Foam rollers like he's bowling himself. So it's great movement. He's moving. He's moving his body.

Joe Martin [00:17:31]:
So find find another connection and getting them moving. Just those 2 things right there can make a huge difference for these

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:17:36]:
So you've been doing fitness for a long time, and you as I said at the very beginning, you have a business called relentless positivity fitness. The And and you also have a podcast called relentless positivity podcast. And, you know, you're doing a lot of different things to engage people in different ways, kids, but also adults, To be able to push them to find fitness in their lives, what drew you into fitness, and why did you decide that this was your your calling and your passion?

Joe Martin [00:18:04]:
I was an Athlete all growing up, all through high school. And then, I played football as my main sport. Start off as a tight end. If you're familiar with football, that guy blocks a little bit. He catches a little bit. I cannot catch very well, and I gained a lot of weight, Docs. So I became a lineman.

Joe Martin [00:18:15]:
So if you're familiar with lineman, there's, like, big guys that run into other big guys. So so I was playing football. I was about 250, 260 pounds, and I got hurt. I was gonna go play in college, but I got hurt. So Dog. I put my whole life into football. That was all I care about in high school. I just knew I was going all the way.

Joe Martin [00:18:29]:
Right? I was one of those kids that that that was kind of my identity. You know, when you're in high school, you've Dog. Find your niche, and that's who you are. I'm in the band. I'm play sports, so I do this. Whatever it is, you kinda put yourself in this box, and that's who you are. Dog. So without that, I I kinda felt lost.

Joe Martin [00:18:41]:
You know, getting arrested, and I went to jail. And then just all these things started spiraling out of control. It got to the point where I was suicidal. That's Knowles. Passionate about working with these kids because I've been there too. So I kinda got to the point in my life that I gotta do something. And I started with losing weight Dog. Because I every time I looked in the mirror, it's just a reminder that I don't look good, I don't feel good, and I'm not the person I wanna be.

Joe Martin [00:19:02]:
So I started Doc. With one little thing, just I started reading food label. They'll label full. They'll tell you what's in there, how many calories, and all these things, and what you're putting into your body. So I started there and started the Losing weight. Like I said, I lost 50 pounds. I felt great. Like, man, I would love to help other people have the same feeling.

Joe Martin [00:19:16]:
So that's where I went from there. It's just that that's how I got into the fitness Dog. I've been on the other side where every day, you know, your body hurts and you don't feel good. This is not who I wanna be. Not that your weight defines who you are or anything like that, Dog. But it can be a reminder that, man, I just I just don't feel good.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:19:30]:
You definitely can feel that way, especially as you get older and and the the Lack of movement, the lack of of intentional movement, I'll say, can definitely impact you and lead to the Other health implications in the future. Now as fathers, I think you said at the beginning, you know, we need to model the Not only the relationships that we want our kids to have, but we also need to model the lifestyle that we want our kids to see. And If we are out and we're active and we're actively engaging with them and we're playing shooting baskets or we're out doing walks or running or the At the gym or whatever it might be, our kids are gonna see that. None. They may not follow. As you said, you've been doing fitness and your kid doesn't like to listen to you. I get that. But at the same time, though they don't say that they are listening, they're listening or they're seeing, and it does impact in many different ways.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:20:27]:
So the For a father that is hearing your journey and thinking to themselves, I need to take that next step because the I'm hurting. I can't keep up with my kids. I am having a hard time just day to day, and I need to do something to start moving the needle. The What are some things that they can do to start that? Maybe not even going to a gym, but just starting something to be able to Docs. Start seeing some gains in some aspects.

Joe Martin [00:20:56]:
I think the biggest mistake people make, and you'll see it in January, but when the gym is absolutely packed the 1st 2 weeks of January, the And then by week 3, 4, it started to look like a ghost town. You know, they say by 90 days into the new year, 90% of people started working out, they're done. It's over. They've given up. So people come in and wanna do I'm gonna exercise for 2 hours every day. I'm gonna eat broccoli and chicken every this is my year, and it's not sustainable. I suggest you start with something so small that it seems like nothing. That you have on a scale of 1 to 10, you're about a 9 or 10.

Joe Martin [00:21:27]:
I could definitely Doc. Maybe it's a 5 minute walk. I don't know where you are in your journey right now. Maybe you need to take a 5 minute walk. Walk around the block. Maybe you do a couple squats. Dog. Maybe go and ride your bike.

Joe Martin [00:21:37]:
Something so small, maybe you just need to drink a little more water, and then you start adding these on. So if you can just do one thing, do it consistently, and then you layer things on. The 5 minutes this week. Maybe you do. Maybe you do 7 minutes next week around the block. Go a little bit further. Because what you'll find usually if you start with that 5 minutes, oh, well, I can do 10 today. With the whole thing, the As humans, we're we're built to conserve energy.

Joe Martin [00:21:57]:
Right? That's just kinda through evolution. That's what got us here. So naturally, we are quote, unquote lazy. Docs. That's just your body trying to save you from doing we're not supposed to be out there running marathons. Right? So if you can do that, if you can just talk yourself into that 5 minutes, Doc. Usually, a lot more will actually happen. But if not, at least you got that 5 minutes in.

Joe Martin [00:22:14]:
You're getting consistent with it. Because don't be the person that goes in and they just Dog. Have an amazing 1 week in January, and then the other 51 weeks, they do not get I'd much rather you come in slow. Number 1, you're not gonna hurt yourself like a lot of people do. Doc. It's gonna be sustainable, and you're gonna go slowly add these on where it's not overwhelming and it's sustainable. You want a plan that's sustainable that you actually enjoy. If you can find a way to move your body that the like, don't not what someone told you is the best way to burn fat or build muscle or all this.

Joe Martin [00:22:42]:
What do you like to do? I remember years ago at my church, there was this guy, Dog. 80 year old man. He kinda came up to me. He's like, oh, asking me these fitness questions. He said, well, this is kind of embarrassing, but I like to do hip hop abs. He had a VCR tape with Sean Tee. This guy did hip hop ads. The guy is probably not the target market for this video, but he did it all the time, and he did great.

Joe Martin [00:23:02]:
It's like, that's not embarrassing, man. That's awesome. I wish I was in my eighties doing a hip hop ab routine. That's very cool. So it's just finding a way you enjoy moving your body and doing on a consistent basis Doc. And be amazed at what other habits start coming in. Because you start exercising a little more, well, maybe I'll start eating a little bit better because maybe I can, you know, do a little bit better in my class that I'm taking or I go a little bit further.

Joe Martin [00:23:21]:
Drink a little more water, none of them exercising more. And maybe if you cut down on my drinking a little bit, and all these things start kinda layering in. But if you try to do them all at once, they all tend to just fall off.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:23:31]:
Definitely, I've seen that as well. And you're completely right. You get into that mode of the, New Year's resolutions. And you say, oh, I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna do that. And a lot of times, the bar is set so high, it's really hard to maintain. And the So then at the end, you end up failing. And and that says something to your kids do, and they see that. The Indeed. I I think you're completely right when you say that you start small and start something just to start something and then work up from there. The Doesn't mean you have to be ready for an ultra marathon a month into working out.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:24:08]:
You're not gonna be there, and that's okay. You just have to take the time to prepare Doc. And to move toward the goals that you want to set and be and then go from there as well.

Joe Martin [00:24:18]:
And I think it's very important to let your kids see you struggle with exercise. If it's tough, you don't don't hide that from your kid. Let them see because they're gonna be there one day, whether it's it's an injury or maybe they'll let themselves get out of shape or maybe they don't exercise at all now. But they see you Docs. Doing that dead I love to see people who look like they haven't exercised in a way, but they're out there doing it. That's the people that people try to make fun of and things like that. I love to see people out there. So Docs.

Joe Martin [00:24:39]:
Those are people that haven't given up. I think that says much more to your kids than someone who's always stayed in shape and things like that. It's so hard to start. Doc. Just whatever it is, it's so hard to get going. If you can just get started, that's usually the hardest part. So letting your kids see that it's okay to struggle. They'll they'll Put that maybe they're not fitness or something like that.

Joe Martin [00:24:55]:
Maybe it's school or or relationships or things like that. Seeing you struggle and not give up is so important. Like you Talked About Modeling. That's a huge thing right there.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:25:03]:
It definitely is. Now I know I mentioned the fact that you also have a podcast and a book. Doc. Talk to me about those. And what are people gonna find if they, you know, listen in to your relentless positivity podcast or they pick up the book itself? What's your hope that the When someone listens or when they read, what are they gonna take out of

Joe Martin [00:25:21]:
those? With the podcast, I started that during the pandemic. I think a lot of people found a little no time on their hands. I wrote the book during the pandemic as well. It's just all I saw on the news was negativity, and that's what was kinda was just everywhere. Whether you're reading or watching the news or anything like that, I just wanna counterbalance that with having people on there that are like yourself that are doing amazing things out in the world that maybe people don't they haven't heard about it that need to be highlighted Noor stories or people out there that are changing the worlds in their neighborhood. Those unsung heroes. I love to highlight them. And just fun stories and maybe some dad jokes in there.

Joe Martin [00:25:51]:
You know, those are very important Docs. And things like that. They weren't getting shared. So I just that's why I started that, and it's just what we're doing. And then with the book, I just wanted to have it's kinda more I call it infotainment. Doc. Right. So I share stories from my life to kinda have some lessons about how you can lose weight, get in shape, and have less back pain, and things like that.

Joe Martin [00:26:06]:
That they're not about, here's Docs. Exactly what to do and why you're an idiot if you don't do it this way. There's options. There's ways to do it. There's strategies and things like that. And some inspiration. All those things that I Dog. I think there's a lot of negativity in the fitness world that people if you don't do it this way, then there's no other way to do it.

Joe Martin [00:26:22]:
So this kinda would giving people options, giving them inspiration, and you're doing it the In a positive manner because it's gonna get tough. You know, how do you handle the rough times when they come in? Whether it's, you know, life or your fitness or things like that. Do you handle the tough times? That's what's gonna define who you are and what you succeed in life about. So I just wanna kinda help people out with that. Just see I just trying to fill needs that I thought were not being filled. So that's kinda why the Start with the book as well as the podcast.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:26:43]:
Oh, we always finish our interviews with what I like to call our fatherhood five, where I ask you 5 more questions to delve deeper into you as a dad. Are you ready?

Joe Martin [00:26:50]:
I'm ready.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:26:50]:
The In one word, what is fatherhood?

Joe Martin [00:26:52]:
Strength.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:26:53]:
When's the time that you finally felt like you succeeded at being a father?

Joe Martin [00:26:56]:
I think when my son did his commitment to the Air Force Dog. To play basketball. Man, that was just a culmination of all these years of watching him struggle and become who he is as a man. It's just it was a great moment.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:27:06]:
Now if I was to talk to your son, How would he describe you as a dad?

Joe Martin [00:27:10]:
Goofy yet serious about discipline.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:27:12]:
Who inspires you to be a better dad?

Joe Martin [00:27:14]:
That's my dad. I watched it growing up. Got to see it Firsthand, best dad ever.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:27:18]:
Now you've given a lot of piece of advice today as we finish up. What's 1 piece of advice you'd wanna give to every dad?

Joe Martin [00:27:24]:
Don't give up on. Yeah. Doc. I wanna look back on my life when I was like I said, I was in jail, been on probation, all these different things. My life did not look that great. Don't give up on those kids. Just a snapshot of my life. It looked like I was going nowhere.

Joe Martin [00:27:36]:
I had no future, nothing going on. Wasn't very good at school. The Literally did not how to know how to spell the word business. Spelled it wrong till I got to college. It didn't look good, but my parents never gave up on me. And I've turned it around, Dog. And your kids

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:27:48]:
can too. Well, Joe, I really appreciate you being here today. If people wanna find out more about you and what you're doing, where's the best place for them to go? I

Joe Martin [00:27:55]:
can go to my website, the fit and positive .com. You can look it's got the link for the podcast. It's got the book on there, the mentoring program, if you wanna know. If you just wanna talk about how you can help your kids, you the With the mentoring or anything like that, you can reach out. It's got my contact information on there. Before I go, if you're listening right now, you need to stop and give this man Docs. A 5 star review on whatever podcast platform you're listening for. We need more strong dads out there raising strong daughters, and he's doing the world a the Good service out here.

Joe Martin [00:28:19]:
Give him a 5 star review. He deserved it. You know, you've listened to him before. He deserved your 5 stars. You do that right now.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:28:24]:
Well, I appreciate you saying that, Joe. And I truly do appreciate all that you're doing to be able to inspire kids around you, inspire your own son as he prepares for the future, and I wish you all the best.

Joe Martin [00:28:35]:
Thank you very much. Thank you for having me on. This is great. Keep up the great work. I'd love to have you on my podcast as well.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:28:39]:
If you've enjoyed today's episode of the Dads with Daughters podcast, we invite to check out the fatherhood insider. The fatherhood insider is the essential resource for any dad that wants to be the best dad that he can be. We know that no child comes with an instruction manual, and most dads are figuring it out as they go along. And the fatherhood insider is full of resources and information the that will up your game on fatherhood. Through our extensive course library, interactive forum, step by step road maps, the And more. You will engage and learn with experts, but more importantly, dads like you. So check it out at fathering together org. If you are a father of a daughter and have not yet joined the Dads with Daughters Facebook community, there's a link in the notes today.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:29:26]:
Daughters is a program of fathering together. We look forward to having you back for another great guest next week all geared to helping you raise strong, empowered daughters the And be the best dad that you can be. We're all in the same boat, the and it's full of tiny screaming passengers. We spend the time.

We give the lessons. We make the meals. We buy them presents. Bring your A game because those kids are growing fast. The time goes by just Dog. Like a dynamite blast calling astronauts and firemen, carpenters, Domino's. Be the best dad you can be.