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Navigating Dad-Daughter Dynamics: Stories from the Ash-Shakoor Family

Dads With Daughters

Release Date: 04/15/2024

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Today's Dads with Daughters' podcast featured some amazing guests. actor, pastor and father, Aqeel Ash-Shakoor and his daughter Jaylah Ash-Shakoor. The discussions revolved around their experiences, highlighting the integral role of fathers in daughter's lives, and providing valuable lessons for dads everywhere. 

**A Father's Protective Instinct and Balancing Parenthood with a Career**

When Aqeel learned he was about to become a father to a daughter, he felt a profound sense of responsibility and protectiveness. He reflected on his initial desire to have a daughter and shared the powerful moment of witnessing her birth. Aqeel also discussed the concerns fathers often face, particularly when it comes to protecting their daughters in a world that can sometimes be unkind. Balancing a busy career with involved fatherhood, Aqeel emphasizes the importance of prioritization, with a three-rule mantra: 'God, family, handle your business.'

**The Importance of Father-Daughter Relationships**

Jaylah spoke candidly about the evolution of her appreciation for her father's protective nature. As she transitioned into adulthood, she understood the value of having a supportive dad and recognized the unique challenges that come with the territory. Aqeel and Jaylah mutually stressed the significance of a father's presence and guidance in shaping a daughter's sense of self and decision-making abilities.

**Communication and Trust - Key Pillars of Parenthood**

A crucial topic discussed in the podcast revolves around the essence of communication in building strong father-daughter relationships. Aqeel and Jaylah highlighted the need for clear dialogue, understanding, and a foundation of trust. They emphasized that parents must believe in their children's capabilities and support them in carving their own paths, even when they diverge from expectations.

**Building Confidence and Resilience**

Aqeel shared an affectionate account of fostering confidence in Jaylah. He recounted his efforts to instill resilience by encouraging her to embrace challenges, including navigating self-doubt at her new school. This mirrors in Jaylah's own aspirations for impact and influence in her endeavors as an influencer and entrepreneur.

**The Ash-Shakoor Legacy of Individualism and Success**

Aqeel's humble beginnings and his vow at nine years old to achieve success laid a foundation for his parenting approach, focused on teaching his children to believe in themselves without excuses. Jaylah spoke of her father's imprint on her ambition, the value of taking charge, and owning the room, attributing her confidence to the freedom her parents granted her.

In conclusion, this episode serves as a powerful testament to the deep bonds, challenges, and triumphs within father-daughter relationships. It's an encouragement for dads to embrace their unique journey with their daughters, supporting them to reach their full potential, and leaving a legacy of love, respect, and understanding.

TRANSCRIPT

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:05]:
Welcome to Dads With Daughters. In this show, we spotlight dads, resources, and more to help you be the best dad you can be.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:16]:
Welcome back to the dads with daughters podcast where we bring you guests to be active participants in your daughters' lives, raising them to be strong independent women. Really excited to have you back again this week. Every week, I love being able to sit down and talk to you about the journey that you are on with your daughters. Doug. It is a exciting time. It is a important time, and it is so important for you to be actively engaged in your daughter's lives And being willing to learn along with her and going on this journey along with her as well. Every week, I also love being able to have different people, different people to share their experiences.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:56]:
We've had dads on the show. We've had moms on the show. We've had Other people with tons of resources that are sharing those resources with you. And there are special moments when I have an opportunity to be able to have a Father and a daughter on the show, and that's today what we're going to be doing. Today, I've got 2 great guests with us. Reverend Dr. Aqeel Ash-Shakoor is with us today, and his daughter, Jaylah, is with us as well. And I'm really excited to have them here today to talk about Their journey as father and daughter and to learn more from them. Aqeel, Jaylah, thanks so much for being here today.

Aqeel Ash-Shakoor [00:01:35]:
Thank you much. Thank you.

Jaylah Ash-Shakoor [00:01:36]:
No problem. Thank you.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:38]:
Well, I really appreciate you both being here. And I guess first and foremost, I wanna turn the clock back in time, Aqeel. I want to have you go back. I wanna go all the way back. I wanna go back to that first moment that you found out that you were going to be a father. To a daughter. What was going through your head?

Aqeel Ash-Shakoor [00:01:55]:
Wow. Amazing. That is a trip down memory lane. I will say that. So the journey goes like this. My first son, which is the oldest, his name is Jabriel. And so when I was in the marine corps serving active duty, the One of my gunnery sergeants had a little daughter, and, I was just so marveled that she was, like, 2 years old.

Aqeel Ash-Shakoor [00:02:15]:
But she was so affluent, and her Noah. Was just incredible. She can carry on the conversation. I just was, like, from there, so I kept asking him, like, what are you guys doing? He just said he just told me that lesson. Just don't talk baby talk to them when they get older. So I had that in mind, but at the same time, our 1st child was a son. And let me tell you something.

Aqeel Ash-Shakoor [00:02:34]:
I think I forgot all about no That I wanted a girl first. So here we are. We're living in Hollywood, Florida. And I tell you, we came home, and I realized that, wow, No. It's finally happening. We've had we're here to have a girl. It was like, wow. Based off of my mother, my mother had boy, girl,.

Aqeel Ash-Shakoor [00:02:53]:
Which I have been the oldest, and my sister was the youngest. And so I definitely wanted to complete that, at least have a girl and a boy in this lifetime. And now here it was. We're about to bring this little thing right here that we call Jaylah into the world, and it was just Nuts. So amazing. I can still see standing in the delivery room now, and even our oldest son was standing at the foot of the bed too. No He was witnessing her coming into the world as well, and that is just I'm doing a poor job being able to put it into words because I can never find the words for that.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:03:27]:
Now I hear from a lot of fathers that especially with daughters that there are times where the There is fear. There's fear in raising daughters, and I hear that a lot from a lot of dads. And I guess for you, what was or is your biggest fear In raising a daughter.

Aqeel Ash-Shakoor [00:03:44]:
Okay. We already get to the beat of this thing already. Yes. So my daughter and my wife contend that It is the same raising girls as it is boys, and I contend that it's not. There's a lot of protectiveness And no fault of her own, but I just I have always just felt like, you know, that hedge of protection. If I can't be there, no I'm always worried even when she was away in college. From walking through the house at 2 o'clock in the morning, and I think about it, she gets a call at 2 AM in the morning.

Aqeel Ash-Shakoor [00:04:20]:
And still sometimes now. And she may say, daddy, what in the world is going on? I said, oh, nothing. I'm good now. I just needed to hear your voice. But you just always wonder about something happening. And I and maybe we shouldn't think that way, but, You're just always wondering. With the boys, I feel like the boys, can handle themselves, but, you know, the daughter, the the daughter is everything. She you know, you think of her being left unprotected with no covering.

Aqeel Ash-Shakoor [00:04:49]:
And, You know, and I gotta tell the truth here. And, you know, Chris, when we think about who we were as little boys, we understand why we were about our little girls. So Definitely.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:05:02]:
And, Jaylah, how does that make you feel?

Jaylah Ash-Shakoor [00:05:04]:
Well, you know what? Honestly, if you had been asking me this question probably about about 4 years ago. I'd probably laugh and just think it was a joke. But, in all seriousness, I think now, having grown into, Domino's. A woman. I do think that it's it's very interesting because it's true to it. You know? And I think the older you get, the As a young lady, you start to see the world more. You see men like that. You know? You see me and dad's age. You actually you work with some of the men on dad's age and just in that male group, and you start to pick up on how men think, How they speak, how they view themselves, and how they view others, and women as well. It it does as a woman, I feel like When you get older, it does make you, be a little bit more grateful for that. And I've had the Different, friends and associates and different groups who grew up without fathers, and dads or or what have you. And it's very interesting the To hear the difference in the response to that question. So when you're younger, you always think, oh, oh, sure. You know, if I didn't have my dad, my dad's just controlling me. But now looking back, it's like, wow. You know? If you know, fathers need their daughters, and daughters honestly need their fathers. Yeah.

Jaylah Ash-Shakoor [00:06:26]:
They really, really, really do.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:06:27]:
Now, Aqeel, 1 question that I have to throw out your way is that you're a busy guy.

Jaylah Ash-Shakoor [00:06:33]:
Yes, sir.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:06:34]:
And you and I were joking about this before we started today, but you dip your toe in a lot of different water, And you've done a lot of different things in your career. And I guess first and foremost, I wanna what I wanna get into here is the Being as busy as you are, there's a balance that has to happen that you have to have in your life the To be able to be that dad that you wanna be. Talk to me about that road that you had to walk for you to be able to Balance the things that you had going outside of the house, outside of the family unit, and how you balance that with What you wanted to be as a person inside the family unit.

Aqeel Ash-Shakoor [00:07:17]:
It's easy now that I'm already doing it, and I know the pattern that I set with the children. And I have what we call a three rule priority, and that three rule priority keeps me well balanced. And it goes, god, the Family handle your business. God family handle your business. God, family, handle your business. I am a no nonsense guy when it comes to my family is everything with me, And I teach them all the same. You can do everything in the world. And I hope I'm not jumping a gun here, but they were all raised.

Aqeel Ash-Shakoor [00:07:54]:
Can't is not in the vocabulary. The I'm trying is not in the vocabulary. You're either doing it or you're not, and you can do. I'm a father that Not just saying cliche is that you can do whatever you wanna do. I'm a realist by saying, no. You can do it if you want to do it. That's just it.

Aqeel Ash-Shakoor [00:08:14]:
But god, family handle your business. We don't compromise that at any point in life. No And so whether if I get a call and I'm on the road, it's god, family, handle your business. That's how it goes. And it's really as simple as that. And I I even, when I Council people. I talked to him about the same thing, and amazingly, it works.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:08:33]:
And, Jaylah, I guess, as you hear that and, the You know, you think back to being raised in a family that is instilling that in you. Talk to me about what that was like for you as a the Young girl moving into womanhood, becoming a woman, now reflecting back on what you have been taught and how that's helped you or hindered you either way the In helping you to become who you are today.

Jaylah Ash-Shakoor [00:08:56]:
So, actually, I do love that question because it is twofold. So based the what my dad was explaining is we have always in our household, even with the boys, made it about god. God is the center of everything. He's the head of everything. So the 1st father of the family is always gonna be god, and that relationship is very important because as I'm sure you know, because, you know, you explained you have the Children or child as well. You know that parenting has also been said to be very difficult as well. And having god at the the of everything. Sometimes when you don't understand your children or specifically your daughter, you look for answers too.

Jaylah Ash-Shakoor [00:09:34]:
So it's not just us as daughters wanting all the answers like, the Why does my dad understand? Like, he doesn't get it. Mom, but she gets it, but dad just won't get it. I really feel like, you know, god holds the answers to relationship building. And a big part of relationship building is the communication piece. I feel like that's where a lot of times, daughters, when they're the Being raised, it's that communication piece. It's why won't dad understand me, or does dad understand me? And then vice versa, does my daughter understand what I'm the because this one thing to say, it it sounds good and and it does come off well, but a lot of time, there's a age gap as well where it's a disconnect. We're still trying to be kids. We're wanting to do what what's going on out in the world, especially when you attend, like, public schooling.

Jaylah Ash-Shakoor [00:10:21]:
You're faced with different things every day, and the It's tempting, but god being the head and the center of everything is always what kinda draws you back to your roots, the Which in the end, goes based off of how you're raised, you're teaching. And so fast forward to now, it's very eye opening because everything I do in my daily life, it always the back to this one lesson that my dad taught me, and it's to take charge. And now when he first started saying this to me, I think I was probably midway through college. And every time I call them, I'm pumped. I'm in the mood. I'm in the the and I'm like, I'm gonna go ahead here. I'm gonna kill this interview, dad. I got the job or what have you.

Jaylah Ash-Shakoor [00:11:01]:
And he's always like, listen. The I have nothing else to say. Say your prayers, you know, talk to god about it, and take charge. So recently, you know, it really has been on my mind, and I'm like, the What does it really mean to take charge? You know? And I just feel like as a as a as a female and, you know, as a woman and as a daughter, the To me, it's like owning the room that you're staying in. Whatever room you enter into, own the room. Like, the Like, you don't even have to know my name, but you should get the vibe of what I'm about, who I am, and the value that I hold. But so I think that a lot of times, dads, the They really bring that that foundational piece where it's like, take charge. Like, I am who I am, and I'm owning the room, well spoken.

Jaylah Ash-Shakoor [00:11:44]:
The Like, you wouldn't even have to know my dad to know that I come from good raising just by speaking to me. So that's just, you know, a little bit of of of basically just his teachings and how They started to affect me over the years into now as, you know, a woman.

Aqeel Ash-Shakoor [00:11:59]:
You know, Chris, can I just add to that? I'm fighting back the Tears right now. So you're about to get some real tears. I tell you, just hearing that is what every parent wants to hear, all the lessons that you've given in life. And what I have attempted to do, not build a machine, but and by god, this is not excluding my wife. But what I'm saying is is that Doug. What I have attempted to do is to lead by exam. And what I mean what I mean by that is if they see. And they've seen me not use excuses for where I am and the conditions that I'm in that can't work.

Aqeel Ash-Shakoor [00:12:36]:
Then if I show them that it's possible, that and that's all it is. So I started to say, you know, how we had that phrase, think outside the box. The Well, every time I find those cliches, I add to it. So instead of thinking and and instead of me raising them to think outside the box, I tell them to think beyond the outside of the box. You see, because thinking outside the box has a limitation because once you're outside the box, you stop thinking. So I want you to think beyond the outside of the box, and then You create such a situation that you go from believing to knowing in God that it will work. Now we're not.

Aqeel Ash-Shakoor [00:13:13]:
Not even talking about manifesting it, but I I stick to if you create it in your mind and you see it in your mind, You can do it, and it happens. And I'll I'll probably end up touching up on that a little bit more. So even to hear her talk, under and I'll I'll back off here, but I didn't have that Great confidence I had like that in school even though I was popular playing sports and everything. It wasn't until I got into the marine corps and got all around the world that I Had to build this up. And so what I realized was that you can be very confident and very assured in yourself without being conceded, and that's what I wanted to instill in them.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:13:49]:
So, Jaylah, let's reflect back then. How did your dad help you to find that confidence in your life? You talked about that the In college, it really kind of clicked. But think back to as you were younger and you were growing up with your brothers, what did Aqeel do to be able to help you to find that confident? And I know it's not just Aqeel because I know your mother as well, and I know that she is a part of the team. But talk to me about what your dad did specifically to help you to find that confidence to be the person that you are today.

Jaylah Ash-Shakoor [00:14:21]:
I Can't honestly say I think it has a lot to do with the freedom of individualism. Parents, you guys talk a lot about the How it's different raising all of your children, whether they're boys or girls, is gonna be different for each one given being their personalities. So I think the the Freedom to have whatever personality we chose was the biggest thing for me. Like, I was more so of you know, I was the only girl. I'm the middle child, the And I was just full of personality. I'm singing this day bouncing all across the house. The next day, I wanted to run outside and be with the boys, and the I really think that it had a lot to do with giving us the freedom to experiment within our personalities. Dies.

Jaylah Ash-Shakoor [00:15:05]:
And I didn't always get it right. Even, like I said, growing up, I started to have issues with my identity, like, just knowing who I was, being confident in who I was. The And I can say for females, we experience a lot of that due to going to puberty, a lot of things that. Take effect going into our teenage years and then our young adult years. A lot of it has to do with the Just the phases of becoming an adult. And so my biggest thing was growing up, went through this gap in this period of time where I was like, okay. The How do I become the young woman that I wanna be while also adhering to what god will want me to be, what the My parents will be proud of. Let's just be honest there as well.

Jaylah Ash-Shakoor [00:15:51]:
For me, identity was a big thing, and it was just there were days when I was waking up, and I was just like, I'm just not seeing it. The Like, this can't be life. This can't be what it's like to kinda go through the phases of growing up and understanding who you are, and It took effect in my schooling. It took effect, at home, and there were issues there. But, you know, one thing about it is I think that the As parents and specifically having my dad around always since day 1 is that to feel like you're not left alone. The I think that's the biggest thing for me. Just having that male figure to know, like, your love, your light, that I'm not gonna give up on you because it's very easy.

Jaylah Ash-Shakoor [00:16:29]:
I know. Plenty of females who have dads, but their dads aren't there. I feel like not a lot of people talk about this. When we talk about, you may have a parent physically, But are they there? Are they hearing you? Is there a connect? So definitely freedom of individualism and that room to grow, the room to make mistakes, Learn from your mistakes. Once you hit that age bracket where it's kinda like, yeah, dad can't tell you what to do. Yeah. But, you know, with the help of god, god is is gonna shape you up and the Lead you to where you need to be and definitely give you some lessons when you're drifting off a little bit.

Aqeel Ash-Shakoor [00:17:04]:
So she said something very important. It's always been a practice of mine that Not that I didn't care about them making mistakes. The rule was I'm not concerned about if you make mistakes as long as you can give me the The evidence of why you chose what you chose. So that that gives them the freedom. So if they if they did something and even It wasn't right. I wanted to hear the plan to how they got there, what made them what made them and have a reason behind what they did. And that allowed them the freedom to discover the world and life, but it also helped them start decision making.

Aqeel Ash-Shakoor [00:17:42]:
And then I was the crazy, father knows best kid, parent. You know? My thing was And then sometimes I would literally put it in their hands and let them choose the punishment, and that worked. And god blessed us with 3 beautiful children that Sometimes they even know if they said a punishment, they go, oh, not. That's not justified by what I did. And so it worked that way, And then I had to play a few marine corps games on them. Sometimes I'd storm through the house like I'm about to tear everything to pieces, and then that did it enough.

Aqeel Ash-Shakoor [00:18:13]:
And I just turn around and walk away, and it leaves them thinking, oh my god. And the next time, I'm just quiet. So, you know, it's to keep it all balanced because, Again, we have to raise our children in such a way that it also presents the world. I didn't wanna be overboard. I'm sure they can probably name sometimes. They probably thought I was overboard, but If anything, I'll say this in a back off again. So much comes to mind. But I always told our children and I even told my wife.

Aqeel Ash-Shakoor [00:18:37]:
I said, listen. And I know this is harsh,. But I'd rather you hate me or dislike me for guiding you the right way than to love me for letting you do what you want to do And knowing that's not

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:18:50]:
the best way. I love that. Now, Jaylah, as I said before, your parents are both people that are involved in lots of different things. They have tried lots of different things, done lots of different things, and I know that, and I mentioned that already. So I know that they have had a lot of dreams for themselves, the A lot of dreams for you. How did they instill in you to be a dreamer for the life that you want for your life?

Jaylah Ash-Shakoor [00:19:14]:
You know, I feel like maybe that is the Probably the trickiest question you've asked me in this whole time. And I say that only because I do think that as the Time goes on, we have to be honest that the world changes. And the way that life is set up now is not how life used to be set up. And I do think that now, like, for me specifically, I have what they would call bigger dreams. And, like, back then, I'm sure you guys can relate. Back then, you were just wanting to be something. Like, man, I just gotta make I came up this way or I came up that way, and all I wanna do is be successful.

Jaylah Ash-Shakoor [00:19:50]:
I need to have a good job to just be able to pay the bills, and that's great. But for me, personally, I the Honestly had bigger genes beyond my career, and I always like to make sure that there's a big differentiation. The Because what I do every day on the physical place that I go to, which in my case would be the bank, it's bigger than that. And I have to even Darcy. People at work. Like, you see me showing up. I'm gonna be punctual. I'm a be on time.

Jaylah Ash-Shakoor [00:20:15]:
I'm gonna be here. I'm a be ready to work, but let's not get it twisted. There's more to Jaylah. The So right now in my life, I'm really big on my influencer type of world, and I have started now the Trending with these videos where I post, you know, where I'm getting ready for work. And I think, you know, the other day, I was thinking and I said to myself, No. I said, isn't that something that for someone else looking on the outside end, they'd see it as or I mean, you're just making videos. But for me, I was It's actually deeper than this.

Jaylah Ash-Shakoor [00:20:42]:
Like, I actually gotta wake up and be on time. So for me, I'm like, look at the lessons. Look at those small lessons the that follow you. You know? And dad and, you know, my parents, they've always been big on show up on time. It says a lot about you. And let's be real. No. Every day, we don't always we're not always perfect, but it tells a lot about who you are and what you're about.

Jaylah Ash-Shakoor [00:21:04]:
And so I said, It's also a form of discipline. So there's something that I really want beyond just my career that has a lot to do with the Renewal my state. Then it's very much possible that one day I can actually be in business for myself, whether that's a company, whether that's the Getting myself paid directly without there being a middleman. So those are my bigger dreams. Right now in my life, as I approach 25, the I'm very well focused on using my corporate job to get me to where I need to be from the individual standpoint. And As you can see for yourself, that's what my parents are about as well. Everything that they do, they wanna be impactful, but it's also it's them acting as an influencer.

Jaylah Ash-Shakoor [00:21:45]:
People sometimes attach to you based off of how you influence others. So you have the option. You can be a bad influence instead of influence others, the Or you can choose to be a great influencer and be of something worth value.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:21:57]:
And Aqeel, I guess as you hear that and you think about what the Intentionally, you did to try to help your kids to realize those dreams. Talk to me about that. What did you try to do On a daily basis, on an annual basis, on a yearly basis, or just in a day to day life to help your kids to be able to the Push them to think about those dreams in different ways.

Aqeel Ash-Shakoor [00:22:19]:
So one of the things I did, I actually had a historical African American book set that I actually purchased that probably about no 3 or 4 years prior to even our 1st child born. And then each year, I just build on top of that. So the children were And when I say required, it was not the required where it was, like, mandatory. You have to read it by this time. It was that I always put a book in their hand. And it wasn't always like a African American history, but I'm very big on our culture, very big on self improvement. And so the other thing is having world knowledge. I developed this thing too that wherever I go, I always read something.

Aqeel Ash-Shakoor [00:22:59]:
You don't have to read it all, But you just read. There are a lot of signs and pictures around. You just read it. If you just read 3 sentences off, maybe, like, 3 or 4 sentences off of it and move on, You'd be surprised how much knowledge you're you're gathering. And so and with each child just talking about our oldest son the other day. And so with that, including Jayla, so No. Our oldest son, it clicked for him.

Aqeel Ash-Shakoor [00:23:21]:
He got cut from the middle school basketball team in, like, 7th grade. So 1st time we've had what they would call a failure. And so but when he came out, I was like, oh my god. Lord, I am not prepared for this. And so when he got in, I could see it all on his face, so I had to quickly come up with something. And what God gave me was, I asked him. I said, is there anything that you think that No.

Aqeel Ash-Shakoor [00:23:42]:
You could have done better. And he just turned to me, and he was like, well, yeah. I mean, I I guess I coulda worked on this. And then I just simply said, No. Maybe that's it. Maybe that's the reason you didn't make the team. And something so small when I tell you that it No. His life in such a positive way that this kid never stayed in the house again.

Aqeel Ash-Shakoor [00:24:02]:
He was always out doing it. Now kinesiology major, he's a fitness. He's a influencer. He started his own business, and we were talking about this the other day. He said that moment he told me he said that moment No. Really defined everything. With Jaylah, it was the same thing.

Aqeel Ash-Shakoor [00:24:19]:
She talked about her identity. Well, oh, this was hard because Even with Jaylah, you talk about we moved from North Carolina to Michigan. She had only spent, like, 3 days in high school as a freshman, No. And then we moved here. So she went from a class of about or school for about, like, 300 to 400 kids and walked into eastern with about no 1700 kids, and she shut down. And I gotta say this. So then she wanted to transfer. And the very school that she wanted to transfer to, No.

Aqeel Ash-Shakoor [00:24:49]:
Only being here a week ended up having a shooting. And then she said, no. I wanna stay at Easter. And so we just had to keep working with her and then instilling to her No. You are beautiful. And believe it or not, when you look at her now to whomever's looking at her, she struggled wondering, was she beautiful enough compared to a lot of her friends? And just having that confidence, and and that was it. So it was like, take charge. No.

Aqeel Ash-Shakoor [00:25:12]:
You are who you are. You're more than what you think you are. Take your eyes off other people. And then the other thing is is that we want you to have a multiplicity of friends. We're not just locking down to one, culture, 1 race, 1 nationality, the influence. And so all of our children, I I guess that's us and them, No. Have that ability to connect to a multiplicity of people. And she has the personality like me.

Aqeel Ash-Shakoor [00:25:39]:
She can walk into a field, and somebody would think No. That she was talking to a scarecrow, and she'd be talking to the ears of corn. And so that is the thing. Even down to our youngest son, he's a very factual person. So if you say, no. It's only 2 left. He's like, no. It's actually 2.13.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:25:57]:
Now, Jaylah, you heard your dad just talk about the fact that, the You know, you tried to build your self confidence in the in the self confidence of both your brothers. And I hear that a lot the from other fathers that and I see it in my own daughters that today it seems like, the the The self confidence of a lot of daughters, but also the whether it's social media or other factors are the Definitely are making an impact on the self confidence that they have about themselves. As a influencer influencer yourself, the someone that has moved on with your life and have found some more of that self confidence for yourself. What do you say to other dads the About this, about how they can best instill that self confidence in their daughters.

Jaylah Ash-Shakoor [00:26:47]:
So I would say, first and foremost, understanding that it can't just the be you. The daughter's confidence is not gonna just come from you solely. And I do believe that it's healthy, actually, the For a lot of dads not to feel attacked when, they do tell their daughters that they're beautiful, and their daughters just don't see it. The Let's just be honest. There will be many days where, you know, dads just just glorify. You are so beautiful. Oh my god. You're so smart.

Jaylah Ash-Shakoor [00:27:16]:
The You're this and your dad is like, but that's not what the world's telling me. If I'm that, well, why am I not runner-up? You know? And I think that It's important to, again, to understand it. Like, let take me inside of your world and allow me to the See what you see as my daughter. And let's just be honest. Sometimes you gotta disassociate the father and daughter thing. Because even for you guys, as a dad, it's the Easy for me to sit here and say, you know, dad, you've been the best dad ever. Like, dad, you're so awesome. And, you know, for what my dad does in acting, it's like, the Imagine him going in in in in trying out or auditioning, for the top dad role.

Jaylah Ash-Shakoor [00:27:54]:
The Let's just say he's everything. He's awesome. And I'm telling him, dad, you got that. Yo. You got it, dad. Trust me. There there is no dad talking you, dad. The And then he goes in, and they're just like, not quite. Something's just not you know, to him, it's like, the Hey. Well, my daughter's telling I'm the best dad. It don't get no better than me. But let's just be honest. There's there's these self, the tick boxes that we tend to check as individuals even. And so it does come with The mentality, and the self confidence. So it is about self at the end of the day.

Jaylah Ash-Shakoor [00:28:31]:
And there are things that dads can do, the with words of affirmation, and actions of affirmation. So that is the biggest thing. Actions of affirmation, conquers all of the Them. You know, words sometimes feel good make us feel good, but actions are even better. So as as daughters, we don't always wanna, the You know, here that we're beautiful, you know, we wanna see it. You know? We wanna see it. Like, what does that mean to To to tell a daughter that she's beautiful, what do you see? You know? And for me, I feel like even too now in adulthood, I find the best value, in understanding also the things that I don't do well because I feel like that's honest. That's where that truth, Dom.

Jaylah Ash-Shakoor [00:29:15]:
Comes from so my dad will tell you all the time, like, you know, if if if he gets on video chat with me or if he gets on FaceTime with me, And I'm just not having a good day. I had rolled out of bed. I hadn't combed my hair or anything. He's looking at me like, okay. What's going on? What is going on? This is not my daughter. The And for me, it's just you know, I just understand that that means, like, he sees me. He knows enough about me to know the When I'm having a bad day, when something just isn't there, and then he can go in and provide that reassurance. Like, you know, you're doing it well.

Jaylah Ash-Shakoor [00:29:47]:
You're doing things right. The You know, it's just something that comes with, with life. So like I said before, 1st and foremost, understanding that the You guys' dads don't always have all the answers. Everything's not gonna be perfect. You can't just, you know, say a thing or two and make it all better. Just just the process.

Aqeel Ash-Shakoor [00:30:05]:
That was amazing because, Chris, what I heard there and what I wanted to say, and it oh my gracious. It prompted Domino's. Is to understand that these things that she talked about make us great dads. So if we didn't have the if we didn't have the shy daughter, we didn't have the Going daughter. We didn't have the trouble daughter. We didn't have this type of daughter. We didn't have this. How would we grow? With the boys, we sorta got that.

Aqeel Ash-Shakoor [00:30:27]:
Not that we have it all down pat, but no It's more relate With the girls, the girls are like mini wives. I know this is about dads and daughters, but I think about my wife. It's something that my wife tells them too, And she'll she'll tell me. And she'll just simply say, Jaylah, what I always say? And what does mama always say? And who's gonna tell you that it's not work? Who's gonna tell you that it don't look good? And it's a mentality that you take on. And so seeing her, just going at it and going after not just something, no But naming it and going after it, that make it's more than just proud. It lets us know that they are really coming into their own, And that's the most beautiful thing. It's not about whether you make multimillionaires or billionaires. The value in it is the success.

Aqeel Ash-Shakoor [00:31:15]:
What they want to accomplish, not with mom and dad. And that was what we did even with schooling. No. You do not have to be around you. Be around us when you go to school. Get as far away as you want as long as they make plain as trains of automobiles, we're good.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:31:29]:
So true. Now one of the things that I would love to hear from both of you is the In this relationship that you've built over the years, there are opportunities to be able to have things that the are unique to the 2 of you, things that you share together that are important to the 2 of you. What the Has been a favorite thing that the 2 of you share together that is unique to your relationship.

Aqeel Ash-Shakoor [00:31:55]:
So, okay, one of the things is our craziness. No It's just something about when we get together, we're gonna cut up. It's just spontaneous. I was just telling them we were just down from my mother's funeral in December, And we were talking about I said, wow. I miss us not being able to just be in the kitchen and start singing, you know, because she loves to sing. And honest to god, I told her I I I remember telling her, like, this is some years ago. This is before she even left home. I told her I said, you know, you're my favorite singer. And she thought I was joking, but it's just something about when she sings. It's like, you're my favorite singer. And in church a couple of weeks ago, A lady visited, and she sung Eyes on the Sparrow. And that's the song that I love my daughter to sing. But when I tell you just No. Endless laughter. It's like nobody's trying to be pretty.

Aqeel Ash-Shakoor [00:32:41]:
We're not trying to be framed up. We develop a space to where we can really Be ourselves. And I know that that's what we share, but I love to see her strength. I even love the pushback. I shouldn't have told her that here live, but I love the pushback because no It tells me again that she's growing, and it also tells me that she does respect me because that's something that I Theo. So my wife and I, we don't want them to think like us or to be like us. We want them to be way much better than us. And so no It that that's the that's the thing.

Aqeel Ash-Shakoor [00:33:14]:
I just love the freedom to where we can be across the room, and I could just look at it. She look at me, and we can just bust out laughing because we already know what the thought And

Jaylah Ash-Shakoor [00:33:22]:
I'll add to that. Like dad said, you know, it's personality. I I know that you can agree to Christopher even with, you know, your daughter that the It it's a personality match thing. Sometimes as parents, I know you see a lot of, you know, yourselves and and your children. So Domino's. I think for us, we just like I said, we have just that down to earth relationship. It's not always perfect, because it's a learning the experience, but it's definitely one of those things where my dad's gonna look back even in the next couple of years. You know, as I approach 30, that's the but it's gonna be interesting for them.

Jaylah Ash-Shakoor [00:33:57]:
It's gonna be fun, growing experience. And then even when I move on to have children, the Oh, it's definitely gonna be 10 times more interesting to see how my children take after the things that my parents have instilled Dom. So I just think that as life goes on, you you develop your own ways, but you also still it's like you never detach the From the parenting skills that have shown in how you were raised by your parents.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:34:23]:
Now we always finish our interviews with what I like to call our fatherhood five, where I ask you 5 more questions to delve deeper into you. And, usually, it's just a dad, but it's not gonna be just a dad this time. We're gonna ask both of you some questions. The So, Jaylah, I'm gonna start with you. In one word, what is fatherhood?

Jaylah Ash-Shakoor [00:34:40]:
I'll say accountability. That is a tough word. It can be so harsh, But I will say accountability. And I feel like accountability only because if you relate it back to the real world, the Accountability always reverts back to you as an individual. How does what you produce, or I should say your seed. What does it reflect about you? What does it tell about you? What does it tell about the things that you do well? What does it tell about the things that you the still need a little bit more help with. And so no matter whether it's the good or whether it's the, you know, not so good, it's a lesson in in itself, and it's the Always that room for growth and development as long as you're willing to take accountability within that process. In a queue?

Aqeel Ash-Shakoor [00:35:26]:
To my word normally, I wouldn't use this word, but with describing god, and I'm gonna say ubiquitous. And that is to be Uniquely who you are all the time, everywhere with the same power, with the same authority, and with the same strength. Because, Uniquely, no matter what, your family needs to see whom you are in all those situations. So whether it's hard, it's peaceful, it's stress They need to know, and I guess this goes back to the accountability part. They need to know, are you gonna stand on what you say you stand on.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:36:02]:
Now, Jaylah, when was the time that you feel like your dad finally succeeded at being a father to a daughter?

Jaylah Ash-Shakoor [00:36:08]:
So I will say A few years back, gosh, I would have been, at that time, feeling middle school. I was in school and personality. Right? You know your kids, the All of them. And you know how they're different. So you know what they're capable of, what sounds like them, and what doesn't sound like them. And I've always been a talker in class. The Neither, you know, my brothers nor myself were the extreme disrespectful type, so we wouldn't be at school the Disrespecting adults.

Jaylah Ash-Shakoor [00:36:35]:
That that's definitely not the case. So this particular incident, teacher calls dad specifically, And it's just, like, in a huge uproar. Like, Jaylah is just she is just is not there. She's being rude. She's just saying things. She's Noes. Just clown and all. She's acting like a pretty fool at school.

Jaylah Ash-Shakoor [00:36:57]:
And, you know, as much as I in my head, I said to myself, and I remember the Telling my friends and my other cousins that went to the same school as me. I said, it's over with now. The teacher done spoke, so my voice don't even count. The When a teacher calls dad, it's just gonna be the adult's word, and I'm just gonna sit over here in the corner and deal with the consequences. But, Ashley, it actually didn't feel that way. He showed up, and, again, communication and understanding, Dom. He listened.

Jaylah Ash-Shakoor [00:37:24]:
And then he also gave me the opportunity to speak. And for once, I felt heard, and I felt like my voice matters. So it also gave me the opportunity the To be honest, just let them know I just said, hey. This is the type of day that the Tisha was having. The Tisha was actually very frustrated. And based off what you taught me, You taught me that if this is the case, then this is what should happen. And in so many words, like he said, what we would call in 2024, the He stood on business, and he basically addressed the situation for what it was. We raised Jaylah to, first and foremost, always respect her adults, the But all actions can't necessarily be respected.

Jaylah Ash-Shakoor [00:38:04]:
Because if you teach your children and you raise your children, the Follow underneath, you know, god's teaching and god's word. We know that even adults, like, all adults don't follow that pathway. We've had especially nowadays in time where teachers come to school and they're frustrated, they have realized, and they bring those burdens to school as well. And so that does affect sometimes how they incorporate that in education and being able to handle and deal with other people's children as well. And so he just touched a little bit on that and just said that these are the expectations that when we send our children to school, she's treated fairly. She's treated equally. The She's heard just as you would want your children to be heard. And for once, literally, in in in my younger younger days of living in middle school, I I felt heard, and I just I enjoyed that part of his fatherhood and him being able to be there for me and and give me a voice.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:38:55]:
And what about you, Aqeel? The What's the time that you feel like you finally succeeded as a father to a daughter?

Aqeel Ash-Shakoor [00:39:03]:
I can't name a no Specific time write off. I'm sure if you gave me a little bit more time, but it it would be surrounding an incident just like this. And so in other words, when she when with the 1st or 2nd or 3rd time in a continuous behavior that she comes to me and has a conversation with me, and she says, dad, I'm thinking about doing this. No I wanna do this. I felt accomplished in because for your child and yes. And I would go on the limb and say, especially your daughter, to feel Even if she even though she has a little nervousness that she felt that freedom and that comfort to know that she can come and talk to you about something. And let's just say the hard topic.

Aqeel Ash-Shakoor [00:39:39]:
Our daughters with boyfriends and guys they may like to come and talk to us about why they make certain decisions, why they may wanna make certain decisions, And it was beautiful. That was it. And, I think one other time is there maybe a b side to that. Right before Jaylah graduated with her bachelor's Northwood. She wanted a car. I may never forget this, and, she ended up posting on Facebook probably a year before, and I just happened to see the post. So I pick up the phone and I call her.

Aqeel Ash-Shakoor [00:40:09]:
I go, so what's going on? It's like nothing, daddy. I said, yeah. So I saw this picture that you posted a car. So what's going on? The out of that came, she had been looking for a car, and I was like, woah. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.

Aqeel Ash-Shakoor [00:40:25]:
Let's think about this. And so we talked that out. And lo and behold, the very next year, she still hadn't graduated. But She told me she said, dad, well, what she called me now, and we had this various conversation. What do you think about me buying a car now? And I so I told her. I said, well, listen. This is what's happening. I said, If you save your money, whatever you save, I'll match, and then we'll purchase a vehicle. Well, lo and behold, I met a gentleman that, you know, went at the dealership. No And, anyway, so through talking, I talked to him a price range and everything, and he said, oh, no problem. Well, the 1st car I sent No. Somebody ended up buying or they didn't wanna sell it or something to sometime. And, anyway, we found it again. So I said, well, Jaylah, I said, oh, I found one.

Aqeel Ash-Shakoor [00:41:04]:
Nice car. It's clean. No lights on anything. And I said, I'm sure of this. I said, and here's the price. And she says, No. Okay. And I said, well, understand now.

Aqeel Ash-Shakoor [00:41:13]:
You gotta pay tags, insurance. I'll handle all of that stuff part for you, but gotta have this. So do you at least have half of this? She says, oh, I'm good. I got that. I said, that didn't sound right. I was like, what do you mean you got that? She was like, oh, I'm good. I got that. I was like, you mean you got the Half of that? Or you say she's like, no. I got the whole thing.

Aqeel Ash-Shakoor [00:41:30]:
And I was like

Jaylah Ash-Shakoor [00:41:31]:
Christopher, I didn't blink. Yeah. That's it.

Aqeel Ash-Shakoor [00:41:34]:
Are you serious? So yeah. And so she literally bought And paid 4 in 4 her very first car. And that was when I that was another level then that I realized. No. So we didn't know that the day we dropped her off at college that she also started working probably that same week, And we didn't know that. She kept that as a secret, but I guess that business degree was really working.

Jaylah Ash-Shakoor [00:41:58]:
I will add to that really briefly as we wrap up. It's very interesting because that was a very hard lesson in life, and I think this is really gonna wrap up our conversation surrounding dads with daughters and just fatherhood as the As a whole, is that I contemplated this so much because the rule of thumb was always you're not gonna get a job, you're the You're gonna focus on studies, what have you. And I sat in that room all night long, and I said, I gotta get a job. I gotta get a job. I can't do it. I gotta get this job. And so I said to myself, I said, I would be being rebellious because I would be getting a job with Doubt. Saying anything and doing it even though I know that that wasn't the expectation.

Jaylah Ash-Shakoor [00:42:43]:
But I said to myself, I said, how cool will it be to prove the My parents, wrong, but also right at the same time. And just to touch base on that, the idea is that, you know, hey. You know, it gets the be overwhelmed. And when you work a job and you go to school at the same time, people typically don't do well. But I think that just showed how cool your specific children are when they are able to conquer that. So I remember I finished that semester, and the only thing I brought up was grades. And I say, you know what's gonna be interesting the It's to not only show them that I got the grades, but how I got the grades that I was working full time would say that. Dom.

Jaylah Ash-Shakoor [00:43:20]:
It was honestly like a cool experience for me because for once in my life, I got a chance to prove that, yes, I get this was the plan, But, you know, I can be trusted. Like, I can work hard. That discipline is definitely to come. That won't be the the the first and last time that I may have to kinda, like, go a little bit around the parents, but in life, that's just how things end up sometimes. You don't expect, the You know, your children are go certain paths even like I said, for the oldest even, dad will tell you is just that we don't always go the route the that you think we're gonna end up going. But either way, we come out on top and success. And that right there, she that in a nutshell, that was exactly it. So allowing them the space to grow, to use their ingenuity, that's exactly what we taught them. So it was it's beautiful to know that was it. That's another level of showing that, oh, they really got it. They really understand the assignment.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:44:16]:
Now, Jaylah, if I was to talk to you and your brothers. How would you guys all describe your dad?

Jaylah Ash-Shakoor [00:44:21]:
I would actually say disciplined, but meaningful slash the Purposeful. And just a little bit on that, I say strict slash discipline because his teachings, they seem harsh at first. The Sometimes they seem a little way out there and over, you know, over the top. They do they it does seem extreme, But I can honestly say it's so funny how it always comes full circle, and it has a deeper purpose behind it. And, you know, the oldest, he has become just this scientifically factual person just as well as the youngest. And for myself, I'm kinda in the middle. Like, I'm not, the You know, too big on the facts and the scientific behind it, but after I found I finished my master's of science degree, it really taught me how to look at things the or what they are in terms of experiment. And as you know, when you conduct the experiments, there's always these findings.

Jaylah Ash-Shakoor [00:45:14]:
So why this calls this? And I think that just goes back to what you put in is a big result of what you get out. So a lot of the things that he has instilled in us has developed and got it a lot of what we put into things At full cycle, sure enough, it comes back the great results that we have seen to get throughout the journey of what we've been pursuing.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:45:40]:
The Now, Aqeel, who inspires you to be a better dad?

Aqeel Ash-Shakoor [00:45:42]:
Life has just really done that. Having grown up the oldest of 2 children, you know, I say these people, they start laughing because No. Know my story. Well, my children do it. I just say and my wife. And I say my biological parents, they separated and divorced when I was 6 or 7 years old, And I watched my mom do it. And my mom would literally go to work and survive off of.

Aqeel Ash-Shakoor [00:46:04]:
Was it 25, 35¢ nabs and a soda? And I never knew that for all my life, but she always made sure we had. But she the one thing that she always said, she told my sister and I, she says, don't ever let me hear you say you hate your dad because No. She said your father. She says regardless of what happens between us, your father is still your father, and that reigned with me through my life. And so it has always been with me because psychology tells you that you're basically No. Gonna be like your parent, or the guy's gonna the man is gonna be like your father. And my father has some strongholds, and I didn't partake in those. No.

Aqeel Ash-Shakoor [00:46:47]:
And I remember being older, maybe about in my thirties, and there was another psychologist who was taking, we were in academy, and he said this And I rebelled. I said, that's not true. I said, I don't smoke. I don't drink, and I have a great relationship with my family. So I said, Dom. That's not always true. So who inspires me to be better? My family.

Aqeel Ash-Shakoor [00:47:10]:
The last thing I wanna do is fill my family, wife included.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:47:15]:
Now you both have given a lot of pieces of advice today, a lot of things that, have helped both of you in the journeys that you've been on together. Jaylah, as we finish up today, what's 1 piece of advice you'd wanna give to every dad?

Jaylah Ash-Shakoor [00:47:27]:
Be you. And I would say to be you because there's nothing worse than the A dad getting frustrated because he can't feel another dad's shoes. When you trust the process and you you learn to be the dad that You're supposed to be. Everything works out in the end. I feel like a lot of fathers go wrong when, you know, they follow that the Society's idea of I'm gonna be the number 1 dad, number 1 super dad. It's always it's been like that for years. There's always been that, You know, that box where there's, like, dads have to be perfect. Like, I've gotta be perfect dad.

Jaylah Ash-Shakoor [00:48:04]:
I've gotta be the dad that's just super nice and sweet all the time. I can't say anything. I can't discipline. I just gotta be perfect. I've gotta be light. And my dad touched on that a little a little bit earlier too is is, You know, you don't always wanna be the dad that's liked because I almost wanna bet you that you're probably not gonna get the best results always being the dad that's liked. So, yeah, to just be you. Haniqeel?

Aqeel Ash-Shakoor [00:48:26]:
I think it goes just in those 2 words. I think when we look at that, and I'm sure you can relate to this, the Just in hearing dad versus your child or your daughter saying, this is my father, it does something right here in in in your the spirit right in your heart because a father is everything that we've talked about in this interview. That's not a dad. And so as Jaylah just said, no. I've never attempted to be like another man. I always think Beyond the outside of the box. And I wanna make the mold for myself, and everybody's position is unique.

Aqeel Ash-Shakoor [00:49:04]:
And so I wanna be uniquely me and improve on me daily, and so I Do Continue to develop ways to better myself and my family. And so still to this day, what I do periodically is No. I send them self improvement messages as well and affirmation. I still send those out. So the way that my that my mother always said, she No. Despite how old you get, you're gonna always be my baby.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:49:33]:
Now, Jaylah, I know you mentioned that you are becoming a social influencer. You're doing things out there. People get to know you in different ways outside of the work that you're doing at the bank. As we finish up today, if people wanna find out more about you, where should they go?

Jaylah Ash-Shakoor [00:49:46]:
Yes. So please follow me on Instagram at jaylah.iman_ the Well, you'll also find out that I am a full time photographer as well, and I do the Travel occasionally as well for my very own business, Lady J productions, and then you can also find me on TikTok at jaylah dot Iman as well. Thanks for having me.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:50:11]:
Thank you for being here. And Aqeel, as I said before, you're busy. You're out there. If people wanna find out more about you, where's the best place?

Aqeel Ash-Shakoor [00:50:18]:
And please forgive me. I don't wanna sound over the top. I really just learned this from a couple of fans. Google me. I think everything pops up. That's so crazy to even do that. It's, I and so I literally had to do that one day. I googled myself, and I'm like, oh my god.

Aqeel Ash-Shakoor [00:50:34]:
But, yes, Google me, Aqeel T. Ash-Shakoor or Aqeel Ash-Shakoor on Facebook. Again, Aqeel Ash-Shakoor.  Instagram, Aqeel the actor. YouTube, again, Aqeel Ash-Shakoor, And my background is not showing now, but Empowered Minds, I do a lot of, Again, self improvement videos to spiritual videos as well.

Aqeel Ash-Shakoor [00:50:55]:
So yes. And don't wanna plug, but

Jaylah Ash-Shakoor [00:50:57]:
Catch him on TV. Grab your popcorn. Grab the guys.

Aqeel Ash-Shakoor [00:51:02]:
Been blessed to be a, recognizable face on the Law and Order SVU and Quite a few other to dig with projects and some movies and on television. And something that I'd really just found out, I didn't know that I'm actually presented as one of the No. When they do the Peacock advertisement for the shows, and someone's telling me he's like, I see you every day. I was like, impossible. No boy. He's like, no. I see you every day.

Aqeel Ash-Shakoor [00:51:27]:
And I was like, really? It's like, wow. So that's an that's an honor within itself. Small town country boy that made an affirmation at 9 years old to his baby sister that one day, this is what I would do. And that's what has been instilling in my family that we do. And my daughter bless she did bless me about a couple of weeks ago. I read a post, And I confirmed it with her, and she said in the post, I just saw it, and it brought me to tears. I didn't tell her that part.

Aqeel Ash-Shakoor [00:51:57]:
But She says my father made legends. And what else can you say? I'm a blessed husband and father.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:52:04]:
Well, Aqeel, well, Jaylah, I just wanna say thank you. Thank you for being here, for telling your story, for being raw and open about the journey that you've been on, and I wish you both the best.

Jaylah Ash-Shakoor [00:52:15]:
No Thank you so

Jaylah Ash-Shakoor [00:52:16]:
Yes. Thanks for having us, Christopher. Thank you.

Aqeel Ash-Shakoor [00:52:18]:
And for your fans, Christopher, I want them to know that this wasn't just No. A pop up. I've appreciated you ever since learning of you and knowing you for years as my wife, Tanisha, was in Thomas Cooleyham Law School, No. And you've always been a familiar face and always, a pleasant person to talk to. And back then, it was also go lug nuts.

Jaylah Ash-Shakoor [00:52:42]:
No. Yes.

Jaylah Ash-Shakoor [00:52:43]:
That's it.

Aqeel Ash-Shakoor [00:52:43]:
So yeah. Yeah. You you've always been special in our lives too, so no Thank you. Thank you ever so much. And for my 1st interview, I think I did that with dad with sons. Some time ago, we did an article. So, I I I applaud the work that you're doing. And and if I could be of help, please give me a call.

Aqeel Ash-Shakoor [00:53:01]:
Thank you, sir.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:53:03]:
If you've enjoyed today's episode of the Dads with Daughters podcast, we invite you to check out the fatherhood insider. The fatherhood the insider is the essential resource for any dad that wants to be the best dad that he can be. We know that no child comes with an instruction manual, and most dads are figuring it out as they go along. And the fatherhood insider is full of resources and information that will up your game on fatherhood. The Through our extensive course library, interactive forum, step by step road maps, and more, you will engage and learn with experts, the But more importantly, dads like you. So check it out at fathering together daughter. Of a daughter and have not yet joined the Dads with Daughters Facebook community, there's a link in the notes today. Dads with Daughters is a program of fathering together. The We look forward to having you back for another great guest next week all geared to helping you raise strong and powered daughters and be the best dad that you can be.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:54:01]:
We're all in the same boat, and it's the Full of tiny screaming passengers. We spend the time. Them. We give the lessons. We make the meals. We buy them presents and bring the AK because those kids are growing fast. The time goes the just like a dynamite blast calling astronauts and firemen, the Carpenters and musclemen get out and be the world to Them. Be the best dad you can be.