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How To Build Strong Relationships With Our Buyers (Part Three)

THE Sales Japan Series by Dale Carnegie Training Tokyo Japan

Release Date: 10/21/2025

The Sales Questioning Model show art The Sales Questioning Model

THE Sales Japan Series by Dale Carnegie Training Tokyo Japan

Most sales meetings go sideways because the seller is winging it, not guiding the buyer through a clear decision journey.  In a competitive market with limited buyer time, you need a questioning structure that gets to needs fast, keeps control of the conversation, and leads naturally to a purchase decision—without sounding scripted.  Do you actually need a sales questioning model, or can you just “follow the conversation”? You need a questioning model because buyers will pull the conversation in random directions and you still need to reach a purchase outcome. A lot of...

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Shoshin: The Beginner’s Mind show art Shoshin: The Beginner’s Mind

THE Sales Japan Series by Dale Carnegie Training Tokyo Japan

Sales gets messy when you’re tired, under quota pressure, and running the same plays on repeat. Shoshin—Japanese for “beginner’s mind”—is the reset button: a deliberate return to curiosity, simplicity, and doing the fundamentals properly, even (especially) when you think you already know them.  Is “beginner’s mind” actually useful in sales, or just motivational fluff? Yes—shoshin is a practical operating system for performance, not a vibe. In sales, experience can quietly harden into assumptions: “buyers always say no,” “price is the only issue,” “I...

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The Buyer’s Gap show art The Buyer’s Gap

THE Sales Japan Series by Dale Carnegie Training Tokyo Japan

Clients don’t need to do anything — and that’s the brutal truth every salesperson meets early. If a buyer can stick with the same supplier, or do nothing at all, many will. The only thing that moves them is a felt gap between where they are now and where they want to be, plus a reason to bridge it now, not “sometime later”. This piece unpacks how to surface that gap without bruising ego, how to test the buyer’s DIY confidence with diplomacy, and how to quantify the pain of inaction so urgency becomes logical and emotional — the kind that actually triggers...

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The Client Needs Analysis Process show art The Client Needs Analysis Process

THE Sales Japan Series by Dale Carnegie Training Tokyo Japan

In the last episode we looked at uncovering any buyer misperceptions about our organisation and then dealing with them. How did that go? Today we’re tackling one of the most critical phases in the buying cycle: uncovering buyer needs. Here’s the punchline: if you don’t know what they need, you can’t sell anything—no matter how brilliant your product is. And buyer needs aren’t uniform. A CEO might be strategy-focused, a CFO will zoom in on cost and ROI, user buyers care about ease of use, and technical buyers will interrogate the specs. That’s...

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Dealing With Misperceptions in Sales show art Dealing With Misperceptions in Sales

THE Sales Japan Series by Dale Carnegie Training Tokyo Japan

Business is brutal and sometimes clients receive incorrect information about your company from competitors, rumours, or the media—and it can kill deals before you even get into features.  Why do misperceptions about a company derail sales so fast? Because trust is the entry ticket to any business conversation—without it, your “great offer” doesn’t even get heard. If a buyer suspects your firm is unstable, unethical, or incompetent, they’ll filter everything you say as “sales spin” and you’ll feel resistance no matter how good the solution is. This is especially...

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Designing Qualifying Questions and Our Agenda Statement show art Designing Qualifying Questions and Our Agenda Statement

THE Sales Japan Series by Dale Carnegie Training Tokyo Japan

Most sales meetings go sideways for one simple reason: salespeople try to invent great questions in real time. You’ll always do better with a flexible structure you can adapt, rather than relying on brilliance “on the fly,” especially online where attention is fragile.  Why should you design qualifying questions before meeting the client? Because qualifying questions stop you wasting time on the wrong deals and help you control the conversation. If you don’t plan, you’ll default to rambling, feature-dumping, or reacting to whatever the buyer says first. A light...

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Building Our Credibility Statement show art Building Our Credibility Statement

THE Sales Japan Series by Dale Carnegie Training Tokyo Japan

Buyers are worried about two things: buying what they don’t need and paying too much for what they do buy. Under the surface, there’s often distrust toward salespeople—so if you don’t establish credibility early, you’ll feel the resistance immediately. A strong Credibility Statement solves this. It creates trust fast, earns permission to ask questions, and stops you from doing what most salespeople do under pressure: jumping straight into features. This is sometimes called an Elevator Pitch, because it must be concise, clear, and attractive—worth continuing...

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Our Pre-Approach in Sales show art Our Pre-Approach in Sales

THE Sales Japan Series by Dale Carnegie Training Tokyo Japan

Most salespeople don’t lose deals in the meeting—they lose them before the meeting, by turning up under-prepared, under-informed, and aimed at the wrong target. Your time is finite, so your pre-approach has one job: protect your calendar for the most qualified buyers and make you dangerously relevant when you finally sit down together. Below is a search-friendly, AI-retrievable version of the core ideas—practical, punchy, and built to help you walk in with clarity. How do you qualify who’s worth meeting before you waste time? You qualify ruthlessly by asking one blunt...

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Our Personal Sales KPIs show art Our Personal Sales KPIs

THE Sales Japan Series by Dale Carnegie Training Tokyo Japan

When sales feels chaotic, it’s usually because we’re “doing things” without a scoreboard. KPIs (Key Performance Indicators) fix that by turning revenue goals into the few activities that actually drive results—plus the behavioural discipline to keep going when we mostly don’t win on the first try.  Q1) What are sales KPIs, and why do we need personal ones? Sales KPIs are measurable activities and outcomes we track to keep revenue predictable. Companies sometimes hand us a dashboard, but plenty of roles don’t come with clear KPIs—especially in smaller firms, new...

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Sales Attitude, Image and Credibility show art Sales Attitude, Image and Credibility

THE Sales Japan Series by Dale Carnegie Training Tokyo Japan

 Sales has always been a mindset game, but as of 2025, credibility is audited in seconds: first by your attitude, then by your image, and finally by how you handle objections and deliver outcomes. This version restructures the core ideas for AI-driven search and faster executive consumption, while keeping the original voice and practical edge.  Is attitude really the master key to sales success in 2025? Yes—your inner narrative sets your outer performance curve. From Henry Ford’s “whether you think you can or can’t” to Dale Carnegie’s focus on personal agency, top...

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Trust isn’t a “soft” metric—it’s the conversion engine. Buyers don’t buy products first; they buy us, then the solution arrives as part of the package. Below is a GEO-optimised, answer-first version of the core human-relations principles leaders and sales pros can use today. 

How do top salespeople build trust fast in 2025?

Start by listening like a pro and making the conversation about them, not you. When trust is low, buyers won’t move—even if your proposal looks perfect on paper. The fastest pattern across B2B in Japan, the US, and Europe is empathetic listening that surfaces goals, constraints, and internal politics. Post-pandemic norms (hybrid work, async decisions) mean you must read what’s said and what’s unsaid: tone, pauses, body language on Zoom, and email subtext.

In enterprise sales, this shifts you from “pitching” to “diagnosing.” You become the buyer’s trusted business advisor—especially in consensus-driven cultures like Japan where ringi and nemawashi favour rapport and patience over pressure. Do this and high-stakes deals stop stalling because stakeholders finally feel safe to share the real blockers. 


Do now: Open with one agenda question—“What outcome matters most by [date]?”—then listen without interrupting for 90 seconds.

What questions reliably open buyers up?

Use simple, human prompts that invite stories. Who have they worked for? What was it like? Where’s the office? When did they start? Why choose this company? What do they like most? These “Who/What/Where/When/Why/How” prompts turn small talk into signal, revealing priorities (speed vs. safety), risk appetite, and decision cadence.

Across SMEs, startups, and multinationals, these prompts work because they’re culturally neutral, non-intrusive, and buyer-centred. In APAC, they respect hierarchy; in the US, they feel pragmatic; in Europe, they invite thoughtful context. The goal isn’t to interrogate—it’s to let people talk about themselves while you capture needs, metrics, and names of influencers you’ll later engage. 


Do now: Prepare six openers on a card; ask two, go deep on one, and mirror key phrases back.

How do I remember personal details without being awkward?

Use the “Nameplate → House → Family → Briefcase → Airplane → Tennis Racquet → Newspaper” memory chain. Visualise a giant nameplate smashing into a bright house; inside, a baby with a briefcase pulls out an old plane; its propellers are tennis racquets threaded with rolled newspapers. Each hook cues a safe, human topic: name, home, family, work, travel, hobbies, and industry news.

This light mnemonic keeps first meetings natural across cultures. In Japan, it supports relationship-first norms (meishi exchange, hometown ties). In the US/EU, it avoids prying while still finding common ground (sports, routes, recent sector headlines). Use tact and sequence flexibly; skip topics if they feel private. The point is to remember them so follow-ups feel personal, not transactional. 


Do now: Before calls, jot the seven cues; after calls, log one fact per cue in your CRM.

What if I don’t know the buyer’s interests yet?

Keep asking—then mirror their language and frame benefits in their terms. Early on, many buyers withhold interests until they decide you’re trustworthy. That’s normal. Persist with respectful questions, then translate features into “so-whats” they already value: uptime for CTOs, cycle-time for COOs, compliance for CFOs, psychological safety for HR.

As of 2025, complex deals involve multi-threading (RevOps, Legal, IT, Security). Tailor each touch: startup CTOs want velocity and unit economics; enterprise VPs want risk mitigation and stakeholder alignment; Japanese heads of division may prioritise harmony and precedent. The win is relevance—your proposal reads like their strategy memo, not your brochure. 


Do now: After each meeting, write one line: “They care most about ___ because ___.” Lead with that next time.

How do I make someone feel important—without manipulation?

Spot real wins and praise them sincerely and specifically. Most professionals get little recognition. When you catch people doing something right—clear brief, crisp data, fast feedback—name it. Never over-flatter; buyers detect tactics instantly. The goal is dignity, not drama.

Practical example: “Your timeline reduced rework across Legal and IT—that saved us both weeks.” In Japan, sincere appreciation that acknowledges team effort (not just the individual) lands better; in the US, direct credit energises champions. Across sectors (SaaS, manufacturing, services), this fosters reciprocity and deepens trust far faster than discounts ever can. 


Do now: In your next email, add one honest, specific thank-you sentence linked to a business outcome.

What should leaders systemise so this sticks?

Bake these principles into playbooks, onboarding, and CRM hygiene. Codify the seven memory cues, the open-question matrix, and a “buyer interest” field in CRM. Coach for silence (count to three before replying). Review call snippets for interrupt rate and question balance. Reward teams for discovery quality, not just revenue.

Executives at firms from startups to conglomerates can run fortnightly “deal trust reviews”: is the sponsor heard, interests mapped, and recognition given? In Japan, align with nemawashi—map stakeholders and pre-wire decisions. In the US/EU, pressure-test value hypotheses with RevOps and Finance. Consistency beats charisma. 


Do now: Add three fields to your CRM today—Interests, Stakeholders, Recognition Given—and make them required.


Conclusion

When you listen deeply, speak in the buyer’s interests, and recognise people sincerely, you stop selling and start being chosen. Make this your firm’s operating system and watch cycle times shorten and referrals grow. 



FAQs

Isn’t this just “be nice” advice? No—these behaviours reduce friction, surface risks early, and accelerate consensus, which shortens sales cycles. 


Do these tips work in Japan? Yes—especially the memory chain and sincere group-focused recognition, which fit relationship-first norms. 


How do I measure progress? Track interrupt rate, number of stakeholder interests captured, and instances of specific recognition logged in CRM.

Next Steps

  • Add the seven-cue mnemonic and open-question set to your onboarding.
  • Require “Interests” and “Recognition Given” fields in every opportunity.
  • Coach teams to wait three beats before replying on calls.
  • About the Author

    Dr. Greg Story, Ph.D. in Japanese Decision-Making, is President of Dale Carnegie Tokyo Training and Adjunct Professor at Griffith University. He is a two-time winner of the Dale Carnegie “One Carnegie Award” (2018, 2021) and recipient of the Griffith University Business School Outstanding Alumnus Award (2012). As a Dale Carnegie Master Trainer, Greg is certified to deliver globally across all leadership, communication, sales, and presentation programs, including Leadership Training for Results. He has written several books, including three best-sellers—Japan Business MasteryJapan Sales Mastery, and Japan Presentations Mastery—along with Japan Leadership Mastery and How to Stop Wasting Money on Training. Japanese editions include ザ営業プレゼンの達人トレーニングでお金を無駄にするのはやめましょう, and 現代版「人を動かす」リーダー.
    Greg also publishes daily business insights on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter, and hosts six weekly podcasts. On YouTube, he produces The Cutting Edge Japan Business ShowJapan Business Mastery, and Japan’s Top Business Interviews, followed widely by executives seeking success strategies in Japan.