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The Grief We Bury: Daria Burke on Childhood Loss, Collective Grief, & Estrangement

Grief Out Loud

Release Date: 05/02/2025

Rabbit Heart - A Mother's Murder, A Daughter's Story show art Rabbit Heart - A Mother's Murder, A Daughter's Story

Grief Out Loud

In 1986, when was eight years old, her mother was abducted, sexually assaulted, and murdered in Oklahoma. Decades later, Kristine tells her story in , a memoir weaves together her fragmented childhood memories, growing up with grief, and then as an adult, reckoning with the painful details of her mother's death. The course of the book shifts when there is a break in the cold case of her mother's murder, leading to a trial and eventual conviction of Kyle Eckhart, one of the men responsible. In this conversation Kristine reflects on what it means to grieve for her mother and for the violent way...

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When someone dies, the story is often one of sadness, longing, and loss. But what happens when the person who died was also someone who caused great harm? For Kathy, who was sexually and emotionally abused by her father, his death when she was 11 brought more relief than grief. In this conversation, Kathy shares how her early experiences with grief and trauma shaped her path as a social worker and volunteer, including her current work with teens and tweens who are grieving.   We explore:   What it was like to have her dad die while carrying the painful secret about his abuse...

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How do we move from seeing grief as something to fix or overcome, to understanding it as a lifelong companion and guide? In this conversation with Rev.  educator, death doula, founder of , and creative force behind she invites us to reimagine grief as a friend who helps us navigate loss, change, and transition. Drawing from her personal lineage of grief through the deaths of her grandmother, cousin, and uncle, Dr. J. shares how these experiences shaped her work supporting individuals and communities, especially those living at the intersections of marginalization and oppression.  ...

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Welcome to a special "podcast takeover" episode. This week, , creator of and , steps in to interview Jana. Their conversation centers on Jana's beloved Boston Terrier, Captain, who died in December 2024 at the age of 15. Lindsey understands this heartache well, as her own sweet dog, Birch, died in May 2022. As a skilled interviewer and a thoughtful friend in grief, Lindsey was the perfect person to explore Jana's experience of loving and grieving for Captain.  Together, Lindsey and Jana delve into how Captain came into Jana's life, the complexities of caregiving for an aging...

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When Susie and Nick Shaw’s nine-year-old son William died in a skiing accident, their world shifted permanently. In the six years since that day, they've found ways to carry their grief and stay connected to William, while continuing to honor the boy who inspired so much good in their lives and in their community.  In this deeply moving conversation, Susie and Nick reflect on William’s life—his empathy, his humor, and the motto he created for himself in the year before he died: “Be Yourself.” A simple but powerful phrase that inspired their nonprofit, .  Together, we...

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Jessie was 21. Molly was 11. Two days after their joint birthdays, their mom, Jill, was murdered by Molly’s father. In the hours, days, and years that followed, there was little room for grief. Jessie and Molly were expected to keep going — and they did. But that forward momentum came at a cost.  It’s been nearly 20 years, and only recently have Jessie and Molly begun to revisit what happened and what it’s meant to live with unspoken grief and unacknowledged trauma. As part of that process, they discovered a manila envelope packed away in storage - inside were eight...

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How do you keep your heart open to love after it's been broken apart by grief? was just 19 when her father died of a heart attack. In 2022, her partner Ian died suddenly. Then, in 2024, her beloved dog Blue died, and with Blue went many shared memories of time spent with Ian. The experience of loving and being loved by Ian opened up places in Danielle's heart that had closed down after her father's death. That openness has stayed with her, even as she grieves for both Ian and Blue. That ongoing love and connection have shaped Danielle's grief and the ways she tries to support others who are...

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Sometimes we can't really begin to understand grief - ours or anyone else's - if we don't have space to talk about the death. The context surrounding how someone died matters and can shape our grief in meaningful ways. This was true for  who was a caregiver for her parents, Hal and Sylvia, for many years. They died three years apart, her dad in 2019 and her mom in 2022, and the circumstances of their deaths greatly impacted Kari and her grief.  We discuss: How her parents lived - and how they each died Why their death stories matter when it comes to grief The anger and resentment in...

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In this episode, Camila returns to Grief Out Loud six years after her first appearance to share how grief continues to evolve. What began with the sudden loss of her mother at age 21 has now expanded to include the ongoing grief of caregiving for her father, who is living with dementia and Alzheimer's disease.  Camila discusses the unique challenges of long-distance caregiving, the differences between sudden loss and gradual decline, and how these two types of grief intersect in her life. She also discusses navigating major life milestones—including getting married during the...

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In this deeply personal episode, Mark Chesnut returns to Grief Out Loud to share his experience of losing his sister Glynn to ovarian cancer. Glynn chose medical aid in dying after nearly four years of treatment, giving Mark and his family the unusual experience of knowing when death would occur. This conversation explores the complexity of "scheduled death," the challenges of finding appropriate language to discuss medical aid in dying, and how knowing the date changed their family's grieving process. is a journalist, editor, public speaker, and the author of:  Mark previously appeared...

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Daria Burke is an author, executive, and healer-at-heart. She's also a grandchild grieving for her grandmother and a daughter estranged from her parents. In this episode, Daria shares the profound impact of losing her maternal grandmother at age seven and how that early loss reverberated through her life. This loss and grief exist alongside the immense healing she's done around growing up in poverty, childhood trauma, and her parents' absences, addictions, and the eventual estrangement from them.

With the recent release of her memoir, Of My Own Making, Daria opens up about the moment, decades later, that reawakened the grief for her grandmother - finding a newspaper article about her fatal car accident. That discovery, and ensuing grief, started a new chapter in Daria's healing process. In our conversation, we talk about inherited trauma, the emotional weight of estrangement, the invisible grief of childhood neglect, Daria's healing practices, and how she  stays connected to her grandmother through what she calls “love taps.”

Key Topics:

  • What role Daria's grandmother played in her early childhood

  • The ongoing impacts of childhood grief and unprocessed trauma

  • How truth-telling is part of healing

  • The collective grief she grew up around in Detroit of the 1980's

  • Uncovering the grief she buried after her grandmother died

  • Grieving for family members who are still alive

Grief Practices Daria Shares:

  • Giving herself permission to cry freely

  • Meditative practices to connect with her grandmother

  • Volunteering on holidays and creating new rituals

  • Finding signs from her grandmother in the world around her

Daria Burke is an American writer, speaker and award-winning business leader. A marketer by trade and a seeker at heart, Daria is a storyteller and sense-maker, weaving together personal experience and the science of healing and transformation to explore new ways of understanding how we choose who we become. This passion led her to complete Dr. Tara Swart’s Neuroscience for Business course at MIT and Positive Psychology and Well-Being at Stanford, taught by Dr. Daryn Reicherter, an international expert in trauma psychiatry. 

Her debut memoir, OF MY OWN MAKING (April 2025) explores trauma, neuroplasticity, and Post-Traumatic Growth through the lens of her own healing journey. Kiese Laymon called it “as profound a book about the treacherous experience of befriending ourselves as I’ve read this decade.” Part memoir, part methodology, OF MY OWN MAKING blends personal narrative with scientific insight, Daria inspires readers to reimagine the narratives that define their lives.

Connect with Daria:

Resources & Links:

Production Note:
Grief Out Loud is produced by Dougy Center: The National Grief Center for Children & Families, and is supported in part by The Chester Stephan Endowment Fund.