447: Why All Trauma Is Betrayal: The Hidden Truth Behind the ACE Study

In this powerful episode, we welcome Dr. Alman, co-creator of the groundbreaking ACE (Adverse Childhood Experiences) study, to discuss trauma, betrayal, and the path to healing. Dr. Alman shares insights from decades of work with Kaiser Permanente and explains why all trauma contains elements of betrayal. 

Key Topics Discussed 

The Origins of the ACE Study 

• How the study began through Kaiser Permanente's weight loss program 

• Dr. Alman's work with patients trying to lose 50-200+ pounds 

• The surprising discovery that successful weight loss patients were gaining weight back 

• Collaboration with Dr. Felitti and Dr. Robert Anda to develop the 10 core questions 

Understanding Trauma and Betrayal 

• Core principle: All trauma is betrayal - it involves people we trusted who didn't have our backs 

• Trauma comes from family members, partners, friends, grandparents, or anyone we depended on 

• The weight-protection mechanism: How people use weight to protect themselves from harm 

The 10 Core ACE Questions (and Beyond) 

• The original 10 questions identify the most common childhood traumas 

• Sexual abuse: Found in close to 60% of women in the weight loss program 

• Neglect: Particularly common among men whose fathers were absent or overworked 

• The list is not exhaustive - many other traumas exist 

• The 11th and 12th Questions-important inclusions to access additional information 

The Inner Critic Problem 

• The perfectionist inner judge that becomes a "lifetime member" of your psyche 

• How childhood conditioning creates an inner critic that fights with our emotions 

• The futility of trying to eliminate the inner critic 

• Why therapy alone often isn't enough to resolve this internal conflict 

Coping Mechanisms and Addiction 

• The dosage principle: Like aspirin, coping mechanisms are about dosage - some is helpful, too much is harmful 

• Common coping strategies: food, work, exercise, drugs, alcohol 

• High achievers and entrepreneurs often use success as a distraction 

• The driven CEO who feels "empty and betrayed on the inside" 

• How seemingly "healthy" distractions like work and exercise can mask deeper issues 

The Path to Healing 

The Three-Step Process: 

1. Awareness - Answer the 12 ACE questions 

2. Bridge-building - Awareness alone isn't enough; you must build bridges, not walls 

3. Root cause healing - Access your inner wisdom beneath the trauma 

Key Principles: 

• Your emotions are bridges, not obstacles 

• Your inner critic can be worked with, not eliminated 

• Everyone has inner wisdom - "the gold underneath all that lead" 

• Healing requires going deeper than emotions, judgment, and childhood conditioning 

• The goal is to utilize your trauma and betrayal as tools for growth 

Featured Resource 

Enlight App - Developed by Dr. Alman and Dr. Felitti to help people connect with their inner wisdom daily, utilizing emotions, judgments, and childhood experiences as tools for healing rather than obstacles to overcome. 

Key Takeaways 

• The ACE study has reached 100 countries and millions of people worldwide 

• 20% of people use 80% of healthcare services, often due to unresolved trauma 

• Trauma manifests in physical symptoms: stomach aches, back pain, weight issues, autoimmune illnesses, migraines, depression, and anxiety 

• Everyone's trauma experience is unique, even when ACE scores are similar 

• Healing isn't about getting rid of parts of yourself - it's about integration and working with all aspects of who you are 

• You can't "get rid" of your inner critic any more than you can remove the rings from a tree 

• The path forward involves accepting, reassuring, and connecting with all parts of yourself 

Notable Quotes 

"All trauma is betrayal, because it's people we trusted, people we hoped would have our back, would take care of us." 

"Awareness is great. It's a bridge, but it's not enough." 

"The inner critic has a lifetime membership - you might as well learn how to work with it." 

"Everybody has inner wisdom. It's probably real deep, deeper than you've ever gone, deeper than your emotions, deeper than your judge, deeper than your perfectionist." 

"Two aspirin will help you, 100 will kill you. Same thing with coping mechanisms - it's all about dosage." 

Connect with Dr. Alman 

Download the Enlightn app for support (you can also go to enlightn.me) and for more information about the ACE Study and access to the assessment questions, visit https://drbrianalman.com. 

To learn more about healing from betrayal trauma, visit https://thepbtinstitute.com. 

Discover the groundbreaking ACE Study with co-creator Dr. Alman. Learn why all trauma is betrayal, the 11th and 12th ACE questions, how to work with your inner critic, and the proven path to healing childhood trauma and adverse experiences. 

 

ACE study, adverse childhood experiences, childhood trauma, betrayal trauma, Dr. Alman, trauma healing, inner critic, emotional healing, Kaiser Permanente, sexual abuse recovery, weight loss and trauma, coping mechanisms, root cause healing, PTSD, childhood neglect, inner wisdom, trauma awareness, perfectionism, self-healing, Enlightn app