519-Have Compassion on Your Husband's God-Given Desire
Delight Your Marriage
Have Compassion on Your Husband's Desire This is a tender topic. And for some of you, even reading this headline might make your chest tighten. Because desire can feel complicated. Painful. Loaded. Or honestly… just exhausting. And yet, this conversation matters—not to shame you, not to pressure you, but to invite you into compassion. Not obligation. Not fear. Not duty-driven compliance. Compassion rooted in God’s design for marriage. The Enemy Thrives on Distraction One of the enemy’s most effective strategies in marriage is not always obvious sin. It’s distraction. Distance....
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518-Husbands, Draw Her Back: Order of Operations
Delight Your Marriage
Husbands, Draw Her Back: Order of Operations Gentlemen, you have likely heard that you are meant to be the leader of your home. You've likely heard it from the pulpit, maybe from your own family. We know there's been some confusion around that in culture, asking men to take a back seat or not be as assertive and lead–even though it is their God-given design. But we fully believe that it is the biblical design for men and that it is good for men to take up their role. And you likely have a deep sense that this is how it's meant to be as well. But what happens when the people you are meant to...
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517-From “You Were Never There for Me, Dad” to “I Want to Marry a Man Like You”
Delight Your Marriage
It is our honor and privilege to have Charles on the podcast with us today. Many of you have maybe already spoken to Charles. He serves as one of our Clarity Advisors here at Delight Your Marriage and has done an incredible job of listening to your stories and giving you next steps, but most importantly, giving you hope. What you might not know about Charles is that he spent many years as a very successful businessman. I mean, he was (and is!) a force! And that's what people saw on the outside: 40 years in business, two homes, active in ministry, a wife of 3o years, two grown children....
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516-A Pastor with a “Prostitute” Mindset Changed His Ways: Jerry’s Story
Delight Your Marriage
516-A Pastor with a “Prostitute” Mindset Changed His Ways: Jerry’s Story There’s a quiet frustration many good men carry. You’ve tried to talk. You’ve tried to suggest counseling, books, podcasts—something. You’ve even tried explaining your heart. And still… she doesn’t seem to listen. Doesn’t engage. Doesn’t change. If that’s you, let me say this gently but clearly: God may be asking you to go first. And yes—that can feel unfair. But it is also where real transformation begins. When You Find Yourself Becoming Someone You Didn't Want to Be One husband recently...
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515-New Years Resolutions with Hope
Delight Your Marriage
515-New Years Resolutions with Hope Happy New Year! If you’re reading this a couple days into 2026—welcome. And if you’re reading this in the middle of 2037, it still applies. Because God is still on the throne. He is still a good Father. And He is still interested in crafting and molding your heart—especially in the middle of real life… including the hard parts. Put Your Growth Mindset On (Yes, Literally) If you’ve been in our Delight Your Marriage sphere for any length of time, you know I’m a little obsessed with growth. So, the New Year is one of the things I look forward to...
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514-40 Years of Broken Trust to Safety & Celebration: A Christmas Miracle (Laura's Story)
Delight Your Marriage
514-40 Years of Broken Trust to Safety & Celebration: A Christmas Miracle (Laura's Story) There is a kind of marriage pain that does not look dramatic.It’s not an outward struggle.Just a quiet ache.A marriage that functions but does not feel alive. Laura lived in that space for decades. From the outside, her life looked good. Forty years of marriage. Seven children. A faithful husband. A stable home. A shared faith. Everything a good Christian marriage is supposed to be. And yet, beneath the surface, something was missing. Emotional Safety.Real connection.Being fully seen. For a long...
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513-The Christmas Reset: Peace Over Perfection (Interview With My Sons)
Delight Your Marriage
Christmas can feel magical.It can also feel exhausting. If you’re a parent who secretly feels pressure rising as the holidays approach—the expectations, the mess, the emotions, the memories—you’re not alone. And sometimes, the clearest wisdom doesn’t come from another parenting book or productivity hack. Sometimes it comes from children. I sat down with my two sons for a conversation about Christmas. I expected sweetness and laughter (and we definitely had that). But what I didn’t expect was how profoundly wise their reflections would be—for moms and dads who want to keep Christ...
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512-What Turns Her Off — and What Godly Husbands Do Instead
Delight Your Marriage
What Turns Her Off — and What Godly Husbands Do Instead Have you ever wished you could just…get inside your wife’s heart for a moment? Not to manipulate, but to genuinely understand her. To love her in a way that makes her feel safe and wanted—not pressured or confused. My husband Darrow and I sat down to talk through something men rarely get honest insight about: Her biggest turn-offs. And not because we want to shame or scold—but because clarity brings freedom. When you finally understand what shuts her down, you also discover what opens her heart. So take a deep breath.You're not...
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511-Forty-Five Years Married and Afraid of Retirement: Patty's Story
Delight Your Marriage
Forty-Five Years Married and Afraid of Retirement: Patty's Story Patty had a life most people would admire. Forty-five years of marriage. Four children. Seven grandkids. Retirement. A kind, steady husband. From the outside, it looked like she had it all. But inside? Patty was scared. Not because she didn’t love her husband. They laughed together, they got along. But underneath the “good,” there was a quiet ache. A deep disconnection she didn’t know how to fix. And as retirement began and the rest of life slowed down, and the thought of spending more time with her husband began to feel...
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510-Is it Possible to Have Joy in Lovemaking?
Delight Your Marriage
Is it Possible to Have Joy in Lovemaking? Physical intimacy can be one of the most painful topics in a woman’s life. Maybe you’ve felt shame for years. Maybe your husband brings it up constantly, and all you want to do is shrink away. Or maybe, deep down, you wonder if something is just wrong with you. If that’s where you are, I want you to know—I've been there. I’ve felt the fear. I’ve felt the pressure. I’ve carried the shame. And I want to walk with you through what I’ve learned on the other side: There is healing. There is hope. And yes, there is joy. The Pain Is Real—But...
info_outline“Marriage First” Makes Your Life Unstable
At the end of my life, I want to hear the words, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”
That’s the goal that keeps me grounded—and I know many of you share that desire. But here’s a hard truth I’ve learned through years of walking with couples: when our marriage or family becomes our first priority instead of God, everything starts to crumble.
Why “Family First” Doesn’t Work
I once had a conversation with someone I deeply love who said, “You think God has to be first—but I think family should be first.” His heart was sincere, but the fruit of that mindset showed otherwise.
When family is first, everything depends on emotions—how your spouse treats you, how the kids behave, whether things feel peaceful at home.
That’s not stability. That’s shifting sand.
We see the effects of this all around us.
Divorce rates hover around 50%.
Even pastors and counselors admit they rarely had a healthy marriage modeled for them.
Most people are doing their best, but without a biblical foundation, their “best” can’t hold up when life gets hard.
The Biblical Order That Brings Stability
Scripture gives us the right order: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength. And love your neighbor as yourself.” — Mark 12:30–31
That means I love my first neighbor—my spouse—because I love God.
Why do I forgive in marriage? Because God is first.
Why do I love my husband well? Because God is first.
Why do I serve my family with joy? Because God is first.
When we build our lives on that rock, we become steady—even when the storms hit.
Illness, loss, special needs, mental health struggles—these things shake every marriage. But when God comes first, everything else finds its right place.
Feelings Aren’t God—God’s Word Is
We live in a “follow your feelings” culture. If you don’t feel in love anymore, the world says, find someone new. But feelings aren’t truth. God’s Word is.
You’re serving the King of Kings, and your marriage is part of that assignment. Like the Roman soldiers in Gladiator fought for the glory of Rome; as believers, we live for the glory of God. That means our choices in marriage—our words, our intimacy, our tone—should all be for His glory.
Believers are called to die to ourselves. That includes our moods and even our sexual desires.
Scripture is clear: “Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time... then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you.” — 1 Corinthians 7:5
That’s not about coercion or obligation—it’s about love expressed God’s way.
When I choose intimacy with my husband, it’s not because I feel like it every time. It’s because I love God. And when I embrace His design with joy, the byproduct is a beautiful, connected marriage.
Marriage as a Path to Holiness
Author Gary Thomas famously asked, “What if marriage is meant to make us holy, not happy?” The amazing thing is—when we pursue holiness, happiness often follows.
That’s why we teach the Delight Your Marriage Framework:
- Husbands need to have respect, admiration, and wholehearted intimacy.
- Wives need to feel safe, known, and wholeheartedly cherished.
We love our spouse in the way they receive love, not the way we prefer to give it. Because real love is about understanding and serving the other.
(You can download the full framework at DelightYourMarriage.com/framework.)
The Power of God’s Word to Transform
David Wood—a former atheist and sociopath whose life was radically changed by Scripture. Even after becoming a Christian, he noticed that when he stopped reading the Bible for a few days, dark thoughts would return. That’s how powerful God’s Word is—it changes us from the inside out.
If you’re struggling to love your spouse, to forgive, to stay faithful, start here: get your nose in the Word.
Not scrolling.
Not skimming.
Reading.
Slowly.
With a heart open to hear God.
Even one verse a day in a physical Bible can soften your heart. Make it a habit. Let the Word wash over you.
Final Thoughts
If you have put your marriage above Jesus, it’s not too late to turn it around.
He is a safe person to put your trust in.
You can trust His Word and His design.
It is on purpose, for a purpose… and it is Good.
Blessings,
The Delight Your Marriage Team
PS - If you are interested in taking the next step, putting God first, above your marriage, we would love to talk with you. Schedule a free Clarity Call and chat with one of Clarity Advisors.
PPS - Want to see this work in your churches? Our In-Person Training is launching nationwide in January and we would love for your church to be a part of it. Click here to learn more.
PPPS - Here is what a recent graduate had to say:
“The DYM program has helped me grow as a husband and learn how to better serve my wife and our relationship has been growing in all areas as a result. She just told me this week that she used to feel tension when I came home from work and that tension is gone. Big change which has led to growth for us both. Belah's insights and coaching have been amazing and I've discovered God's purpose for us and our marriage at a new level! Thanks DYM!”