509-Eternal Marriage Mindset: Living Today for the Streets of Gold
Delight Your Marriage
Eternal Marriage Mindset: Living Today for the Streets of Gold We get so caught up in the now—our needs, our feelings, our expectations—that we forget: this isn’t forever. And when it comes to your marriage, your mindset matters more than you know. What if the goal isn’t just earthly happiness… but eternal impact? Let’s shift our gaze from the temporary to the eternal—from trying to fix our spouse to faithfully loving them like Jesus. Because your marriage assignment? It impacts eternity. A Marriage Mindset That Reaches for Heaven If marriage is your god, you’ll do it your way....
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508-How Daily Habits Transformed His 36-Year Marriage: Harvey’s Story
Delight Your Marriage
How Daily Habits Transformed His 36-Year Marriage: Harvey’s Story Marriage is holy work. Maybe you're reading this today because you're hoping your marriage will change. Maybe you're reading this because you've prayed, "Lord, please help my marriage," when really you mean "Lord, please help my spouse!" I hope this blog and episode will make you feel both comforted and inspired — that you’ll be reminded your marriage can change, not by grand gestures or perfect communication, but by small, faithful, daily habits of love. This is what Harvey discovered as well. That it wasn't grand...
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507-“Marriage First” Makes Your Life Unstable
Delight Your Marriage
“Marriage First” Makes Your Life Unstable At the end of my life, I want to hear the words, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” That’s the goal that keeps me grounded—and I know many of you share that desire. But here’s a hard truth I’ve learned through years of walking with couples: when our marriage or family becomes our first priority instead of God, everything starts to crumble. Why “Family First” Doesn’t Work I once had a conversation with someone I deeply love who said, “You think God has to be first—but I think family should be first.” His heart was...
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506-How to Not Have an Affair: Interview with Gary Thomas
Delight Your Marriage
It doesn’t start with scandal. It often doesn't even start with feelings. It starts with a smile. A moment of connection. A conversation that feels easy—maybe easier than the ones you’ve been having at home. You walk away thinking, That was nothing. But somewhere deep down, you also know—it could become something. If that’s where you find yourself today (or even if you’ve seen the warning signs in someone you love), please take a deep breath. You’re not broken. You didn't marry the wrong person. You haven't done an irredeemable thing with no going back. You’re human. And this...
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505-How a Family Life Educator Took Her Marriage from Good to Great: Jen's Story
Delight Your Marriage
How a Family Life Educator Took Her Marriage from Good to Great: Jen's Story Sometimes, the couples who join our programs aren’t on the brink of divorce. They aren’t fighting all the time. They actually have a good marriage. But deep down, they know it could be better. That’s exactly where Jen was when she found Delight Your Marriage. “We Had a Good Marriage… But I Knew It Could Be More” Jen and her husband had been married nearly 15 years. They had three young kids, a busy life, and no major marital crisis. As she put it, “We were not in conflict with each other. We didn’t...
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504-When Your Words Actually Bring Life (And How to Avoid Death): Interview With Ann & Dave Wilson
Delight Your Marriage
When Your Words Actually Bring Life (And How to Avoid Death): Interview With Ann & Dave Wilson Do you remember when you first fell in love—how easy it was to cheer him on? You’d light up at his stories. You’d say, “You’re amazing!” and mean it. You noticed everything good. But somewhere along the way, the cheers turned into corrections. The same man who once felt like your hero now feels like your project. And instead of applause, he mostly hears... boo. That’s what Ann Wilson discovered the day her husband, Dave, vulnerably told a room full of women that marriage sometimes...
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503-How a Farmer Learned to Lead & Love in His Marriage
Delight Your Marriage
How a Farmer Learned to Lead & Love in His Marriage On the outside, Jake looked like a happy-go-lucky farmer. But inside, his marriage was falling apart. Control, years of infertility struggles, alcohol abuse, and pornography created a wall between him and his wife. Even counseling couldn’t break through the scar tissue of pain she carried. At one point, she said her willingness to work on the marriage was zero—she was ready to leave. Jake was out of options. Yet, in God’s kindness, what seemed like the worst day became the turning point. His confession of addiction cracked open the...
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502-How to Win an Argument: Interview with Dr. Kevin Downing
Delight Your Marriage
Arguments that spiral out of control often leave behind words no one meant and wounds that take time to heal. Escalation may feel like “getting it all out,” but according to our guest today, it is actually poison to a marriage. Dr. Kevin Downing, founder of Turning Point Counseling in Southern California, has spent decades helping couples, pastors, and families find healthier ways to connect. His insights on escalation, self-control, and parenting bring both biblical grounding and practical tools. Why Escalation Is “Pure Poison” That Often Leads to Divorce Research from Dr. John...
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501-Wage War Against Body Insecurity
Delight Your Marriage
Body obsession has been a toughy for me all my life. Wanting to be thin. Wanting to be beautiful. Wanting to fit into x size jeans. Wanting to see x on the scale. (The number of New Year's resolutions based on this makes me embarrassed.) And once I am triggered about thinking I'm not thin, I would eat to assuage those hard feelings. Or other hard feelings, I'd eat. Was it sin? Was it a sin, for ME? Let's put a pin in that thought. I think a major way the enemy tempts us nowadays is through distraction. Is distraction a sin? Well, if God has a will for our...
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500 Episodes! Your Influence & Joining DYM's in Our Next Decade
Delight Your Marriage
When I hit “record” on the very first Delight Your Marriage podcast 10 years ago, my mic stand was a Quaker Oats container. I had a dream, a story, and a hope that I thought could help others. I just had a few loaves and fishes to offer—with a world in need. Now—500 episodes later—we’ve seen Him do it: hundreds marriages restored in our programs directly, many thousands of families transformed through our podcast, lives healed all over the world. And yet, this milestone isn’t just about what God has done at Delight Your Marriage—it’s about what He wants to...
info_outline“Marriage First” Makes Your Life Unstable
At the end of my life, I want to hear the words, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”
That’s the goal that keeps me grounded—and I know many of you share that desire. But here’s a hard truth I’ve learned through years of walking with couples: when our marriage or family becomes our first priority instead of God, everything starts to crumble.
Why “Family First” Doesn’t Work
I once had a conversation with someone I deeply love who said, “You think God has to be first—but I think family should be first.” His heart was sincere, but the fruit of that mindset showed otherwise.
When family is first, everything depends on emotions—how your spouse treats you, how the kids behave, whether things feel peaceful at home.
That’s not stability. That’s shifting sand.
We see the effects of this all around us.
Divorce rates hover around 50%.
Even pastors and counselors admit they rarely had a healthy marriage modeled for them.
Most people are doing their best, but without a biblical foundation, their “best” can’t hold up when life gets hard.
The Biblical Order That Brings Stability
Scripture gives us the right order: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength. And love your neighbor as yourself.” — Mark 12:30–31
That means I love my first neighbor—my spouse—because I love God.
Why do I forgive in marriage? Because God is first.
Why do I love my husband well? Because God is first.
Why do I serve my family with joy? Because God is first.
When we build our lives on that rock, we become steady—even when the storms hit.
Illness, loss, special needs, mental health struggles—these things shake every marriage. But when God comes first, everything else finds its right place.
Feelings Aren’t God—God’s Word Is
We live in a “follow your feelings” culture. If you don’t feel in love anymore, the world says, find someone new. But feelings aren’t truth. God’s Word is.
You’re serving the King of Kings, and your marriage is part of that assignment. Like the Roman soldiers in Gladiator fought for the glory of Rome; as believers, we live for the glory of God. That means our choices in marriage—our words, our intimacy, our tone—should all be for His glory.
Believers are called to die to ourselves. That includes our moods and even our sexual desires.
Scripture is clear: “Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time... then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you.” — 1 Corinthians 7:5
That’s not about coercion or obligation—it’s about love expressed God’s way.
When I choose intimacy with my husband, it’s not because I feel like it every time. It’s because I love God. And when I embrace His design with joy, the byproduct is a beautiful, connected marriage.
Marriage as a Path to Holiness
Author Gary Thomas famously asked, “What if marriage is meant to make us holy, not happy?” The amazing thing is—when we pursue holiness, happiness often follows.
That’s why we teach the Delight Your Marriage Framework:
- Husbands need to have respect, admiration, and wholehearted intimacy.
- Wives need to feel safe, known, and wholeheartedly cherished.
We love our spouse in the way they receive love, not the way we prefer to give it. Because real love is about understanding and serving the other.
(You can download the full framework at DelightYourMarriage.com/framework.)
The Power of God’s Word to Transform
David Wood—a former atheist and sociopath whose life was radically changed by Scripture. Even after becoming a Christian, he noticed that when he stopped reading the Bible for a few days, dark thoughts would return. That’s how powerful God’s Word is—it changes us from the inside out.
If you’re struggling to love your spouse, to forgive, to stay faithful, start here: get your nose in the Word.
Not scrolling.
Not skimming.
Reading.
Slowly.
With a heart open to hear God.
Even one verse a day in a physical Bible can soften your heart. Make it a habit. Let the Word wash over you.
Final Thoughts
If you have put your marriage above Jesus, it’s not too late to turn it around.
He is a safe person to put your trust in.
You can trust His Word and His design.
It is on purpose, for a purpose… and it is Good.
Blessings,
The Delight Your Marriage Team
PS - If you are interested in taking the next step, putting God first, above your marriage, we would love to talk with you. Schedule a free Clarity Call and chat with one of Clarity Advisors.
PPS - Want to see this work in your churches? Our In-Person Training is launching nationwide in January and we would love for your church to be a part of it. Click here to learn more.
PPPS - Here is what a recent graduate had to say:
“The DYM program has helped me grow as a husband and learn how to better serve my wife and our relationship has been growing in all areas as a result. She just told me this week that she used to feel tension when I came home from work and that tension is gone. Big change which has led to growth for us both. Belah's insights and coaching have been amazing and I've discovered God's purpose for us and our marriage at a new level! Thanks DYM!”