514-40 Years of Broken Trust to Safety & Celebration: A Christmas Miracle (Laura's Story)
Delight Your Marriage
514-40 Years of Broken Trust to Safety & Celebration: A Christmas Miracle (Laura's Story) There is a kind of marriage pain that does not look dramatic.It’s not an outward struggle.Just a quiet ache.A marriage that functions but does not feel alive. Laura lived in that space for decades. From the outside, her life looked good. Forty years of marriage. Seven children. A faithful husband. A stable home. A shared faith. Everything a good Christian marriage is supposed to be. And yet, beneath the surface, something was missing. Emotional Safety.Real connection.Being fully seen. For a long...
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513-The Christmas Reset: Peace Over Perfection (Interview With My Sons)
Delight Your Marriage
Christmas can feel magical.It can also feel exhausting. If you’re a parent who secretly feels pressure rising as the holidays approach—the expectations, the mess, the emotions, the memories—you’re not alone. And sometimes, the clearest wisdom doesn’t come from another parenting book or productivity hack. Sometimes it comes from children. I sat down with my two sons for a conversation about Christmas. I expected sweetness and laughter (and we definitely had that). But what I didn’t expect was how profoundly wise their reflections would be—for moms and dads who want to keep Christ...
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512-What Turns Her Off — and What Godly Husbands Do Instead
Delight Your Marriage
What Turns Her Off — and What Godly Husbands Do Instead Have you ever wished you could just…get inside your wife’s heart for a moment? Not to manipulate, but to genuinely understand her. To love her in a way that makes her feel safe and wanted—not pressured or confused. My husband Darrow and I sat down to talk through something men rarely get honest insight about: Her biggest turn-offs. And not because we want to shame or scold—but because clarity brings freedom. When you finally understand what shuts her down, you also discover what opens her heart. So take a deep breath.You're not...
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511-Forty-Five Years Married and Afraid of Retirement: Patty's Story
Delight Your Marriage
Forty-Five Years Married and Afraid of Retirement: Patty's Story Patty had a life most people would admire. Forty-five years of marriage. Four children. Seven grandkids. Retirement. A kind, steady husband. From the outside, it looked like she had it all. But inside? Patty was scared. Not because she didn’t love her husband. They laughed together, they got along. But underneath the “good,” there was a quiet ache. A deep disconnection she didn’t know how to fix. And as retirement began and the rest of life slowed down, and the thought of spending more time with her husband began to feel...
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510-Is it Possible to Have Joy in Lovemaking?
Delight Your Marriage
Is it Possible to Have Joy in Lovemaking? Physical intimacy can be one of the most painful topics in a woman’s life. Maybe you’ve felt shame for years. Maybe your husband brings it up constantly, and all you want to do is shrink away. Or maybe, deep down, you wonder if something is just wrong with you. If that’s where you are, I want you to know—I've been there. I’ve felt the fear. I’ve felt the pressure. I’ve carried the shame. And I want to walk with you through what I’ve learned on the other side: There is healing. There is hope. And yes, there is joy. The Pain Is Real—But...
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509-Eternal Marriage Mindset: Living Today for the Streets of Gold
Delight Your Marriage
Eternal Marriage Mindset: Living Today for the Streets of Gold We get so caught up in the now—our needs, our feelings, our expectations—that we forget: this isn’t forever. And when it comes to your marriage, your mindset matters more than you know. What if the goal isn’t just earthly happiness… but eternal impact? Let’s shift our gaze from the temporary to the eternal—from trying to fix our spouse to faithfully loving them like Jesus. Because your marriage assignment? It impacts eternity. A Marriage Mindset That Reaches for Heaven If marriage is your god, you’ll do it your way....
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508-How Daily Habits Transformed His 36-Year Marriage: Harvey’s Story
Delight Your Marriage
How Daily Habits Transformed His 36-Year Marriage: Harvey’s Story Marriage is holy work. Maybe you're reading this today because you're hoping your marriage will change. Maybe you're reading this because you've prayed, "Lord, please help my marriage," when really you mean "Lord, please help my spouse!" I hope this blog and episode will make you feel both comforted and inspired — that you’ll be reminded your marriage can change, not by grand gestures or perfect communication, but by small, faithful, daily habits of love. This is what Harvey discovered as well. That it wasn't grand...
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507-“Marriage First” Makes Your Life Unstable
Delight Your Marriage
“Marriage First” Makes Your Life Unstable At the end of my life, I want to hear the words, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” That’s the goal that keeps me grounded—and I know many of you share that desire. But here’s a hard truth I’ve learned through years of walking with couples: when our marriage or family becomes our first priority instead of God, everything starts to crumble. Why “Family First” Doesn’t Work I once had a conversation with someone I deeply love who said, “You think God has to be first—but I think family should be first.” His heart was...
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506-How to Not Have an Affair: Interview with Gary Thomas
Delight Your Marriage
It doesn’t start with scandal. It often doesn't even start with feelings. It starts with a smile. A moment of connection. A conversation that feels easy—maybe easier than the ones you’ve been having at home. You walk away thinking, That was nothing. But somewhere deep down, you also know—it could become something. If that’s where you find yourself today (or even if you’ve seen the warning signs in someone you love), please take a deep breath. You’re not broken. You didn't marry the wrong person. You haven't done an irredeemable thing with no going back. You’re human. And this...
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505-How a Family Life Educator Took Her Marriage from Good to Great: Jen's Story
Delight Your Marriage
How a Family Life Educator Took Her Marriage from Good to Great: Jen's Story Sometimes, the couples who join our programs aren’t on the brink of divorce. They aren’t fighting all the time. They actually have a good marriage. But deep down, they know it could be better. That’s exactly where Jen was when she found Delight Your Marriage. “We Had a Good Marriage… But I Knew It Could Be More” Jen and her husband had been married nearly 15 years. They had three young kids, a busy life, and no major marital crisis. As she put it, “We were not in conflict with each other. We didn’t...
info_outline“Marriage First” Makes Your Life Unstable
At the end of my life, I want to hear the words, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”
That’s the goal that keeps me grounded—and I know many of you share that desire. But here’s a hard truth I’ve learned through years of walking with couples: when our marriage or family becomes our first priority instead of God, everything starts to crumble.
Why “Family First” Doesn’t Work
I once had a conversation with someone I deeply love who said, “You think God has to be first—but I think family should be first.” His heart was sincere, but the fruit of that mindset showed otherwise.
When family is first, everything depends on emotions—how your spouse treats you, how the kids behave, whether things feel peaceful at home.
That’s not stability. That’s shifting sand.
We see the effects of this all around us.
Divorce rates hover around 50%.
Even pastors and counselors admit they rarely had a healthy marriage modeled for them.
Most people are doing their best, but without a biblical foundation, their “best” can’t hold up when life gets hard.
The Biblical Order That Brings Stability
Scripture gives us the right order: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength. And love your neighbor as yourself.” — Mark 12:30–31
That means I love my first neighbor—my spouse—because I love God.
Why do I forgive in marriage? Because God is first.
Why do I love my husband well? Because God is first.
Why do I serve my family with joy? Because God is first.
When we build our lives on that rock, we become steady—even when the storms hit.
Illness, loss, special needs, mental health struggles—these things shake every marriage. But when God comes first, everything else finds its right place.
Feelings Aren’t God—God’s Word Is
We live in a “follow your feelings” culture. If you don’t feel in love anymore, the world says, find someone new. But feelings aren’t truth. God’s Word is.
You’re serving the King of Kings, and your marriage is part of that assignment. Like the Roman soldiers in Gladiator fought for the glory of Rome; as believers, we live for the glory of God. That means our choices in marriage—our words, our intimacy, our tone—should all be for His glory.
Believers are called to die to ourselves. That includes our moods and even our sexual desires.
Scripture is clear: “Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time... then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you.” — 1 Corinthians 7:5
That’s not about coercion or obligation—it’s about love expressed God’s way.
When I choose intimacy with my husband, it’s not because I feel like it every time. It’s because I love God. And when I embrace His design with joy, the byproduct is a beautiful, connected marriage.
Marriage as a Path to Holiness
Author Gary Thomas famously asked, “What if marriage is meant to make us holy, not happy?” The amazing thing is—when we pursue holiness, happiness often follows.
That’s why we teach the Delight Your Marriage Framework:
- Husbands need to have respect, admiration, and wholehearted intimacy.
- Wives need to feel safe, known, and wholeheartedly cherished.
We love our spouse in the way they receive love, not the way we prefer to give it. Because real love is about understanding and serving the other.
(You can download the full framework at DelightYourMarriage.com/framework.)
The Power of God’s Word to Transform
David Wood—a former atheist and sociopath whose life was radically changed by Scripture. Even after becoming a Christian, he noticed that when he stopped reading the Bible for a few days, dark thoughts would return. That’s how powerful God’s Word is—it changes us from the inside out.
If you’re struggling to love your spouse, to forgive, to stay faithful, start here: get your nose in the Word.
Not scrolling.
Not skimming.
Reading.
Slowly.
With a heart open to hear God.
Even one verse a day in a physical Bible can soften your heart. Make it a habit. Let the Word wash over you.
Final Thoughts
If you have put your marriage above Jesus, it’s not too late to turn it around.
He is a safe person to put your trust in.
You can trust His Word and His design.
It is on purpose, for a purpose… and it is Good.
Blessings,
The Delight Your Marriage Team
PS - If you are interested in taking the next step, putting God first, above your marriage, we would love to talk with you. Schedule a free Clarity Call and chat with one of Clarity Advisors.
PPS - Want to see this work in your churches? Our In-Person Training is launching nationwide in January and we would love for your church to be a part of it. Click here to learn more.
PPPS - Here is what a recent graduate had to say:
“The DYM program has helped me grow as a husband and learn how to better serve my wife and our relationship has been growing in all areas as a result. She just told me this week that she used to feel tension when I came home from work and that tension is gone. Big change which has led to growth for us both. Belah's insights and coaching have been amazing and I've discovered God's purpose for us and our marriage at a new level! Thanks DYM!”