517-From “You Were Never There for Me, Dad” to “I Want to Marry a Man Like You”

It is our honor and privilege to have Charles on the podcast with us today. 

Many of you have maybe already spoken to Charles. He serves as one of our Clarity Advisors here at Delight Your Marriage and has done an incredible job of listening to your stories and giving you next steps, but most importantly, giving you hope.

What you might not know about Charles is that he spent many years as a very successful businessman. I mean, he was (and is!) a force!

And that's what people saw on the outside: 40 years in business, two homes, active in ministry, a wife of 3o years, two grown children.

Everything looked perfect.

But it wasn't the full picture.

“On Paper, We Had Everything… But We Were Just Roommates”

The full picture was that Charles was in pain. 

His marriage was suffering.
He felt like they had become roommates and the intimacy and connection wasn't there.
His daughter, after watching her parents fight yet again, brought up to him that "all you and mom do is fight". She didn't feel safe and their relationship was strained, so much so that she even mentioned she would prefer he not be the one to solely walk her down the aisle when the day came.

There was pain, true pain. 

That moment with his daughter became a turning point. 

He cried out to God.
And God answered.

Finding the Delight Your Marriage Podcast

Charles found the Delight Your Marriage podcast—and after only two episodes, he booked a Clarity Call and jumped in.

What followed wasn’t easy.

It required humility.
Repentance.
Unlearning cultural “norms” that were never biblical to begin with.

But what he discovered was sobering and freeing all at once:

• Being a provider is not the same as being present

• Strength without gentleness hardens the heart

• Leadership without humility blocks intimacy—with your spouse and with God

And slowly—steadily—everything began to change.

When a Daughter Finally Feels Safe

One of the most profound transformations wasn’t just in Charles’ marriage—it was in his relationship with his daughter.

Years earlier, she had told him, “Why can’t you be like my friend’s dad?”

Instead of defending himself, Charles did something radically different.

He listened.

He apologized and owned the pain he had caused.
And he stayed emotionally present instead of shutting down, like he had done in the past.

That conversation marked the beginning of healing.

Fast forward to this past Christmas, two years after starting this program, his daughter handed him a card.

Inside, she wrote: “Every day you bless me so abundantly with peace and security of knowing you have me… I hope my future husband is even half of what you are to me.”

That card became the most valuable gift Charles has ever received, and he saw, even more, how the changes he had made changed the trajectory of his family.

A Marriage Built on The Rock

Charles often says something that shocks people: “I would give it all away for a shack on a rock if it meant having what we have now.”

Why?

Because before, his marriage was built on cardboard and duct tape, as he says. Cultural assumptions, pride, and survival mode.

Now, it’s built on the Rock.

Biblical wisdom.
Daily repentance.
Practical tools.
Accountability.
Peace.

Life Now as a Clarity Advisor

Charles’ story doesn’t end with his own marriage.

Today, he serves as a Clarity Advisor, walking alongside other men and women who feel stuck, hopeless, or unsure where to begin.

He’s seen:

• Wives move back into homes after separation

• Pornography addictions broken

• Years-long intimacy restored

• Homes transformed by peace

And now, pastors are bringing Delight Your Marriage Academy into their churches—because the need is everywhere, including globally.

Final Encouragement

Now, two years later, Charles' marriage is completely transformed, his relationship with his daughter is completely transformed, and he, himself, is completely transformed.

God has truly turned mourning into dancing.

This is not a one-off event. This is the God we serve–who heals marriages and changes lives, who heals hearts and minds, who redeems families and generations.

He cares.
He cares deeply about Charles and answered his cry. 
And He cares about you.

If you are waiting for an answer from God, maybe this is the answer. Maybe calling and taking that next step is the answer.

We are rooting for you and we love you.

God bless you!

Blessings,

The Delight Your Marriage Team

PS - If you want to take the next step and chat with our incredible Clarity Advisors, like Charles, schedule a free Clarity Call here. We would love to talk with you.

PPS - Here is a quote from a recent DYM Academy graduate: 
"I thought this was well presented and very comprehensive.  The clarity of what women need to be safe, known and wholeheartedly cherished was spot on. I understood the basics but seeing it formalized was really beneficial to me. The listening skills and the way they were presented cannot be overstated."