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255 3 Tips To Overcome The Fear Of Rejection

Demystifying Mental Toughness

Release Date: 09/13/2024

283 How To Help A Swimmer Who Is Online A Lot Checking His Rivals Out show art 283 How To Help A Swimmer Who Is Online A Lot Checking His Rivals Out

Demystifying Mental Toughness

Today, the case study that David Charlton and his colleague Colm O’Donoghue discuss is connected to a 16-year-old swimmer who spends a lot of time online checking his rivals out, be that on social media or reviewing stats and results.  The implication is that his motivation and focus when training fluctuates and negative emotions such as jealousy and anxiety are triggered.   As well, potential challenges with his own self-esteem and how he feels about himself can be evident.  David and Colm offer some ideas to shift his focus so that he is able to enhance his motivation...

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282 How To Help An Emotional Tennis Player Perform Better show art 282 How To Help An Emotional Tennis Player Perform Better

Demystifying Mental Toughness

In this episode, David Charlton and his colleague Colm O’Donoghue discussed a case study of a 12-year-old tennis player who struggled with her emotions on the court.   She often became overwhelmed by with anger and frustration or disappointment after making mistakes or losing points, leading to a loss of focus, poor performance and less enjoyment.  Her parents also found it very difficult to watch her play and contain themselves as a result too.  David and Colm go on to offer some advice for managing these strong emotional responses so that she can perform better and...

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281 How To Help The Golfer Who Searches For The Perfect Swing  show art 281 How To Help The Golfer Who Searches For The Perfect Swing

Demystifying Mental Toughness

Does the perfect golf swing exist? NO.  Does the perfect golf swing equal lower scores in golf? NO – Yet many golfers continue to strive to attain the “perfect swing.”  This is the topic of conversation today, where David and colleague Colm O’Donoghue talk about the problem with this approach and the implications for your golf game.  They also share some advice on what you could consider doing to improve your scores and your enjoyment of the game.  Key Learning Points:  Studies suggest that the variation in technique between low handicap amateurs and...

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280 How To Help A Golfer Who Struggles Playing Strokeplay show art 280 How To Help A Golfer Who Struggles Playing Strokeplay

Demystifying Mental Toughness

David Charlton hosts the Demystifying Mental Toughness podcast with his colleague and a fellow competitive amateur golfer, Colm O’Donoghue today.  Colm discusses his journey from playing golf as a child to returning to the sport in his mid-20s, driven by an interest in the psychological aspects of golf.  He shares his struggles with perfectionism and the importance of maintaining a present-focused mindset. Together they talk about a case study of a young golfer, who excels in match play but struggles with stroke play due to focusing too much on the score.  Colm and David...

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279 How To Help A Cricketer Overcome Selections Difficulties show art 279 How To Help A Cricketer Overcome Selections Difficulties

Demystifying Mental Toughness

Today, in episode #279 David and Gerard discuss the challenges faced by a 12-year-old cricketer named Amir (pseudonym), who is a leg spinner struggling with inconsistent selection due to the club's preference for pace bowling.  Amir's fluctuating motivation and confidence, as well as the potential for dropping out of cricket are attributed to poor communication from coaches and his own difficulty in expressing frustrations.  Key Learning Points: ·         Helping the cricketer develop psychological flexibility to separate his self-worth...

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278 How To Help Young Athletes Who Are Distracted By Shouty Coaches Subtitle: show art 278 How To Help Young Athletes Who Are Distracted By Shouty Coaches Subtitle:

Demystifying Mental Toughness

In today’s episode, #278 David and Gerard discuss the impact of a shouty coach on an 18-year-old rugby player named Tom (pseudonym).  They explore how such coaching styles can lead to self-doubt, low self-esteem, and increased self-criticism, affecting both on-field performance and confidence levels.   They emphasize the importance of coaches fostering a supportive environment where players can express themselves freely. Key Learning Points: ·        The conversation highlights the broader issue of youth sports participation and the need...

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277 How To Help An Extra Competitive Footballer   show art 277 How To Help An Extra Competitive Footballer

Demystifying Mental Toughness

In episode #277 David and Gerard Fitzgerald discussed how to help shift the focus of an extra competitive footballer or athlete, using the example of a boy named Joe who hates losing.   Key points included the importance of harnessing anger positively, as seen with Wayne Rooney's iconic goal in 2005 for Manchester United versus Newcastle United.  They also share the need to normalise emotional responses like anger where footballers may kick out, tackle over aggressively, shout at team-mates or display poor body language.   Parents and coaches are advised to avoid...

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276 How To Help A Footballer Who Focuses Too Much On Other People  show art 276 How To Help A Footballer Who Focuses Too Much On Other People

Demystifying Mental Toughness

Today marks the start of an 8-episode series where David Charlton is joined by a colleague.  Gerard Fitzgerald features in this episode, as well as the next 3 episodes.  They go on to discuss a case study of a young female footballer, 11 years old with a pseudonym name called Carly who is a sensitive soul who worries too much about other people (team-mates specifically in this case).  We go on to normalise emotional sensitivity in young athletes, highlighting that it can be a strength if managed properly.  We also talk about the challenges of emotional sensitivity where...

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275 Demystifying Mental Toughness Podcast – What happens next? show art 275 Demystifying Mental Toughness Podcast – What happens next?

Demystifying Mental Toughness

After a short break from creating and broadcasting episodes of the Demystifying Mental Toughness Podcast, in episode #275, David discusses a change in format to the podcast for the rest of 2025.  He also highlights the benefits of having a support system and the benefits of reading and acting on advice from The 12 Week Year, book written by Brian F Moran and Michael Lemmington.  Key Learning Points: ·         Taking a break can revive our motivation and creativity similar to the power of periodisation in sport or strength training. ...

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Demystifying Mental Toughness

In this week’s episode of the Demystifying Mental Toughness Podcast #274, we focus in on the control and challenge measures from Professor Peter Clough’s 4C’s model of Mental Toughness.   David highlights how US tennis player Danielle Collins' managed fans heckling at the Australian Open to aid her performance.   Insightful guests, Sport Psychologists, World Champion Athletes and Olympians also offer tips: where they focus on self-care for perfectionists, emphasise why getting clarity on your "why" is important, stressing present-moment awareness and a lot more. Key...

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More Episodes

In episode 255 of the Demystifying Mental Toughness Podcast, David discusses the fear of rejection, particularly in the context of how it can hinder sport performance.  He shares personal experiences of overcoming this fear, emphasizing its prevalence in sports and life.   David offers three tips to manage the fear of rejection; 1) viewing it as part of the game, 2) practicing self-compassion, and 3) recognizing that rejection does not define your identity. 

Key Learning Points:

  • The fear of rejection can link to a fear of being rejected by new teammates, a fear of being rejected by a coach (being dropped, substituted, criticised, asked to play a different position or released) 

  • With rejection come difficult and uncomfortable emotions that people experience.

  • Fear of rejection can manifest itself physically in our body and is different for everybody. 

  • It can mess with our decision making, rhythm and motor skills. 

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To Listen to Related Podcasts To Help You Overcome Fear

Ep252: David Charlton - Helping Out Of Contract Professional Footballers 

Ep248: Trevor Jones - Embracing Fear And The Dreaded Yips 

Ep250: Ruth Chiles and Alessia Bruno - Optimising Your Potential By Understanding Your Nervous System Better

Ep210: Anna Parker-Naples – Why Breathwork is so Powerful

Ep207: Nicole Posner - And Breathe: How To Prevent, Manage and Master Difficult Conversations

Relevant Resources to Help You Overcome Fear 

Blog: 3 Tips to deal with bullying in sport

Blog: Why You Should Recognise The Power of Your Words

Blog: How Coaches Can Help Athletes Deal with Mistakes

Blog: 5 Ways To Create A Psychological Safe Sporting Environment

Blog: How Mentally Healthy is Your Clubs Sporting Environment

The Mental Edge – How to Assert Yourself so That Other People Don’t Throw You Off Your Game

The Mental Edge – How to Improve The Skills of Team Captains