Demystifying Mental Toughness

Demystifying Mental Toughness is for people who want to reach their goals faster and are curious what high performing athletes and professionals do to fulfil their potential. David Charlton shares insights, strategies and stories from leading athletes, coaches, psychologists and specialists to help you perform to your optimum level on a more consistent basis. If you’re a motivated athlete, coach, sport psychologist, mental game coach or executive listen in for proven and practical advice in this podcast.

299 Emotional Flexibility & Versatility: Inside the Minds of Professional Footballers on Loan 11/14/2025

299 Emotional Flexibility & Versatility: Inside the Minds of Professional Footballers on Loan In this episode of the Demystifying Mental Toughness Podcast, host David Charlton is joined by former professional footballer and coach, and current Assistant Loans Manager at Newcastle United, Peter Ramage, who pulls back the curtain on what it’s really like for young players when they go out on loan. We talk about the often-unseen side of the loan pathway: adapting to new environments, dealing with being away from family, handling uncertainty and change, and the social-media comparison trap that many players fall into. Peter provides real world insight from his time at clubs like Newcastle United and Crystal Palace and how versatility and flexibility becomes a mindset, not just a tactical attribute, and how building relationships and trust with teammates and coaches is absolutely key. Whether you’re a footballer, coach or parent, this conversation throws light on how mental toughness emerges from more than just performance. It’s about mindset, adaptation, presence and communication. We also tie this back to themes we’ve covered before such as the 4 C’s model of mental toughness (control, commitment, challenge, confidence) and creating psychologically safe and growth-focussed environments. >> Key Takeaways Adaptability is everything – Being able to thrive when you’re out of your comfort zone (new club, new role) is a super-power. Comparison is the silent pressure – Young players often measure themselves against highlight reels on social media; learning to focus on your journey matters. Relationships build the foundation of success – Trusting teammates, coaches and the environment gives you the mental platform to perform and grow. If you enjoyed this episode, check out our previous blogs and podcasts on all things football, mental toughness and player development. For more on all things football or soccer psychology, check out these resources: Connect with Peter Ramage · · Connect with David Charlton · · · /episode/index/show/demystifyingmentaltoughness/id/39015445

298 Run Your Race: The Power of Consistency, Faith, and Mental Strength 11/07/2025

297 How Endurance Challenges Build Mental Toughness – Lessons from Pierce Showe 10/31/2025

296 How to Take Control of Your Emotions: Building Your Personal Playbook for Confidence and Calm 10/24/2025

296 How to Take Control of Your Emotions: Building Your Personal Playbook for Confidence and Calm In the second part of our conversation, David Charlton talks with anxiety and fear coach Matt Young about why emotional control and emotional mastery is the key to lasting confidence and calmness under pressure. Matt challenges the common idea that we can only manage our emotions. Instead, he explains how emotions like anxiety, fear, or procrastination are learned traits that serve a purpose. By understanding why they appear, athletes and coaches can start to take ownership and use their emotions intentionally rather than reactively. Drawing parallels between sport and everyday life, Matt and David explore how to create a personal emotional playbook, a structured process for handling stress, setbacks, and performance pressure. From dealing with being dropped from a team to managing social comparison and jealousy, Matt outlines a practical roadmap built on three pillars: >> Key Takeaways – The 3 Pillars Take Ownership: True change starts with personal ownership, looking inward instead of blaming others helps you regain control and create emotional stability, regardless of circumstances. Develop Emotional Control: Move beyond “managing” emotions to mastering them. Learn to enhance confidence, calm, and self-connection so emotions serve you rather than control you. Shape Your Environment: Surround yourself with growth-minded people and positive influences. The right environment accelerates emotional mastery and supports sustained mental resilience. Listeners and Viewers will come away with a different lens on mental toughness, one rooted in emotional mastery, self-awareness, and daily process habits that promote confidence and resilience. Enjoy Tuning In! For more on this topic, check out these resources: Connect with Matt Young · · Connect with David Charlton · · · /episode/index/show/demystifyingmentaltoughness/id/38750005

295 Taking Control Of Your Emotions: Lessons from Ex-Footballer and Anxiety Coach Matt Young 10/17/2025

295 Taking Control Of Your Emotions: Lessons from Ex-Footballer and Anxiety Coach Matt Young In this episode of Demystifying Mental Toughness, David Charlton speaks with Matt Young, an anxiety and fear coach and former professional footballer, about how emotional control can help athletes and coaches achieve lasting freedom and confidence, on and off the pitch. Matt shares how his playing career at Southampton and other clubs exposed deep insecurities and a constant need to control outcomes including; selection, performance, and judgment from others. That same drive for control, he explains, often leads athletes into anxiety, superstition, and burnout. True freedom, he argues, comes from looking at emotional control differently, not trying to control everything around you. The conversation explores how many athletes mask vulnerability, hide behind their sporting identity, and only seek help when things “break down.” Matt advocates for a proactive approach, helping clubs and athletes emotionally prepare in the same way they prepare physically and tactically. He also shares what sets top performers apart; urgency, emotional awareness, and consistency in pursuing growth rather than waiting for crises to act. If you’re an athlete, coach, or parent, this episode offers powerful insights on emotional mastery, identity, and resilience, key ingredients for sustained performance and wellbeing. >> Key Takeaways 1. Emotional Control Beats External Control - True confidence doesn’t come from trying to control every situation, opponent, or outcome. It comes from mastering your internal state, your emotions, thoughts, and reactions so that you can stay composed and perform freely, no matter what’s happening around you. 2. Masks and Identities Can Limit Growth - Many athletes hide behind their sporting identity or project confidence to cover insecurities. Over time, this emotional masking can lead to anxiety, burnout, and confusion about who they are beyond sport. Building emotional awareness helps athletes reconnect with who they are, not just what they do. 3. Be Proactive, Not Reactive with Mental Skills - Too many athletes wait until they’re struggling before seeking help. Matt encourages a proactive approach developing emotional resilience and mental fitness before challenges hit. Just like a physical MOT, regular emotional check-ins can prevent breakdowns and keep performance consistent. This episode is packed with insights for athletes, coaches, and parents of young athletes about the importance of emotional control and emotional mastery for better more consistent performances and enhanced well-being. For more on this topic, check out these resources: Connect with Matt Young · · Connect with David Charlton · · · /episode/index/show/demystifyingmentaltoughness/id/38601160

294 The 3-Second Reset: How Stuart Barnes Helps Cricketers Perform Under Pressure 10/10/2025

294 The 3-Second Reset: How Stuart Barnes Helps Cricketers Perform Under Pressure High performance in cricket and sport in general is about far more than technical ability. In this episode of The Demystifying Mental Toughness Podcast, I’m joined by Stuart Barnes, Bowling Coach at Warwickshire County Cricket Club, for the second part of our conversation. Together we explore the unique pressures cricketers face and how coaches and psychologists can work hand in hand to support player growth, confidence, and resilience. The Player at the Centre Stuart highlights the importance of a joined-up approach between coaches, psychologists, and teammates, with the athlete always at the centre. Players often need space to talk, offload, and process challenges. Stuart shares how his own journey as a “failed professional cricketer” shaped his empathy and perspective, allowing him to connect with players authentically. Slowing the Game Down Under Pressure Cricket is both a team and an individual sport, making the psychological demands unique. Stuart describes how small pauses, two to five seconds between deliveries help bowlers reset, design a plan, and avoid rushing into a threat mindset. He shares practical questions bowlers can ask themselves in pressure moments to regain clarity, confidence, and control. Handling Selection Pressures One of the toughest realities in professional cricket is being dropped. Stuart emphasises the value of focusing only on what players can control; fitness, preparation, mindset, and energy in the dressing room. He describes these as the “free stuff” that costs nothing but adds significant value to team culture. >> Key Takeaways Slow the world down – Use strategies to pause, reset, and regain focus under pressure. Keep growing – There is no standing still; consistent small improvements matter. Build belief through actions – Confidence grows when you fulfil your daily commitments to yourself. This episode is packed with insights for cricketers, coaches, and parents of young athletes about the importance of mental toughness, supportive environments, and developing confidence from within. For more on this topic, check out these resources: · · · Connect with Stuart Barnes · · Connect with David Charlton · · · /episode/index/show/demystifyingmentaltoughness/id/38508065

293 How Cricket Coaches Build Mental Toughness: High Challenge, High Support with Stuart Barnes 10/03/2025

293 How Cricket Coaches Build Mental Toughness: High Challenge, High Support with Stuart Barnes In this episode of the Demystifying Mental Toughness Podcast, I’m joined by Stuart Barnes, Bowling Coach at Warwickshire County Cricket Club. With over 27 years of coaching experience, Stuart shares fascinating insights into the demands of elite cricket, the brutal nature of today’s schedules, and the importance of balancing challenge with support. We dive into how coaches can help players thrive under pressure, the role of self-awareness and process, and why some athletes fear success. Stuart also discusses the fine line between surviving and thriving in professional sport—and what coaches and athletes alike can do to stay grounded, resilient, and ready to perform. >> If you’re a cricket coach, player, or parent, you’ll take away practical ideas for building mental toughness, staying adaptable, and managing the pressures of high-performance sport. For more on this topic, check out these resources: · >> Key Takeaways The brutal reality of elite schedules – how constant travel and games affect both players and coaches. High challenge, high support coaching – why asking deeper questions and showing empathy helps athletes grow. Process over outcome – why elite performers focus on their routines, not just results. Self-awareness as a competitive edge – how slowing things down and resetting builds resilience. Fear of success – why some players avoid growth to escape heightened expectations. The power of anchors – small rituals that help athletes enter their performance state under pressure. Lessons from failure – why comfort is the enemy of growth, and failure can be the gateway to long-term success. Connect with Stuart Barnes · · Connect with David Charlton · · · /episode/index/show/demystifyingmentaltoughness/id/38420410

292 Breaking Barriers in Sport: Culture and Inclusion in India & the Middle East 08/22/2025

291 From India to the Premier League: Sport Psychology, Belonging & Barriers in Global Sport 08/15/2025

290 Stop Focusing On Results: Developing Life Skills Through Sport 08/08/2025

289 How To Support Children To Enjoy A Positive Relationship With Sport 08/01/2025

289 How To Support Children To Enjoy A Positive Relationship With Sport In episode 289 of Demystifying Mental Toughness, the founder of Parents in Sport, Gordon MacLelland, shared his journey from having a promising sports career, to coaching and teaching to supporting parenting in sports. He emphasized the importance of understanding individual children's motivations when considering their sporting experience. Also highlighted were the challenges of balancing fun and competitive pressures. The conversation underscored the importance of self-awareness as a parent and being an intentional in the love and support that you offer your children, as a parent in sports, whilst accepting that you and your child are human. Additionally, David and Gordon stress the benefits of participating in sports on child’s character and mental toughness development, over winning, and the need for realistic expectations. Key Learning Points: · Understand your child's motivations for playing sports and why they do it. · Have regular check-ins with your child to understand how their motivations may change over time. · Avoid asking questions like "Did you win?" or "Were you the best?" and instead focus on character traits with questions such as “When were you brave?” or statements “I noticed how you bounced back positively after your team lost the first goal by the way you were calling for the ball. · Be mindful of the timing and approach when having difficult conversations with your child about their sports performance. · Recognize that success in sports should not be solely defined by performance outcomes, and focus on the wider benefits of participation. Connect with Gordon MacLelland Connect with David Charlton , , and Useful Youth Sport Psychology Resource Podcast Episodes To Encourage A Positive Sporting Experience For Children Relevant Resources To Encourage A Positive Sporting Experience For Children /episode/index/show/demystifyingmentaltoughness/id/37609320

288 How To Overcome Intense Emotions From Football 07/25/2025

287 Is A Blame Culture In Team Sports Helpful For Performance? 07/18/2025

286 How To Understand Neurodiversity Better In Football Refereeing 07/11/2025

285 Football Coaches: How To Help Neurodiverse Players Thrive 07/04/2025

285 Football Coaches: How To Help Neurodiverse Players Thrive In today’s episode David Charlton and his colleague Adam Batstone emphasised the importance of psychological support in football and sport coaching with children. They particularly acknowledged the need to foster rapport with parents to address their concerns about disclosing their child's challenges. David and Adam highlighted the need for adaptability in coaching methods, especially for neurodivergent children, who may require more personalised approaches. They discussed strategies like framing sessions, providing clear routines, and using non-confrontational prompts to maintain engagement. The conversation also touched on the significance of life skills development beyond football, noting that coaches can help children build resilience and emotional flexibility, crucial for their future success in various fields. Key Learning Points: · Seek to explore ways to incorporate more flexibility and adaptability in training sessions to better accommodate neurodivergent players. · Develop strategies to build trust with parents, encouraging them to openly share information about their child's needs. · Provide training for coaches on recognizing and supporting neurodivergent behaviours, and implementing effective intervention techniques. · Investigate the feasibility of creating designated "safe spaces" within the training environment for players to self-regulate when needed. · Factor in the psychological planning of training sessions to consider the emotional responses of players. · Utilise additional coaching resources to provide one-on-one support for players who may need it during sessions. Connect with David Charlton , , and Podcast Episodes To Encourage A Positive Sporting Experience Other Valuable Resources To Encourage A Positive Sporting Experience Podcast Episodes To Help Children Have A Positive Sporting Experience Resources To Help Children Have A Positive Sporting Experience Other Valuable Resources To Help Children, Young Athletes, Parents and Youth Sport Coaches /episode/index/show/demystifyingmentaltoughness/id/37270090