289 How To Support Children To Enjoy A Positive Relationship With Sport
Release Date: 08/01/2025
Demystifying Mental Toughness
To end a recent series on the coach-athlete relationship, in this bonus episode of the Demystifying Mental Toughness Podcast, David Charlton is joined by Dr John Perry, Head of Department of PE and Sports Sciences at the University of Limerick, researcher, former coach and performance analyst, to explore how coaches can better support athletes through the lens of mental toughness. The conversation explores why coaches have such a powerful influence on athletes’ habits and environments, how agency and behavioural standards can strengthen control, and why confidence should come from within...
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In this episode David concludes the eight-part series exploring the coach–athlete relationship by focusing on a powerful concept within the Challenge pillar of the 4Cs model of Mental Toughness, learning orientation. Learning orientation reflects how willing athletes and coaches are to reflect on mistakes, setbacks and difficult experiences in order to improve. Without this mindset, progress in sport can stall and with it, challenges become powerful opportunities for development. David explores a common dynamic where a coach has a high learning orientation but the athlete struggles...
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Description Today, David Charlton explores another dynamic within the coach–athlete relationship: differences in risk orientation (a sub-measure of Mental Toughness). He discusses a common scenario in sport, a coach who prefers structure, routine and predictability working alongside an athlete who thrives on experimentation, creativity and challenge. While structured environments can provide stability and clarity, athletes high in risk orientation often crave variety, stimulation and opportunities to explore different solutions. When these two approaches collide, tension...
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In this episode of the Demystifying Mental Toughness Podcast, David Charlton explores an often overlooked aspect of confidence in sport, interpersonal confidence. He discussed a common dynamic seen in sporting environments: a coach with very high interpersonal confidence working alongside an athlete who struggles to speak up. Highly confident coaches often communicate clearly and persuasively. They lead conversations, provide direction and bring strong conviction to their coaching. Yet when this confidence dominates the interaction, quieter athletes can become increasingly passive,...
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Today, David Charlton explores a powerful but often misunderstood dynamic in sport: the highly confident coach working with an athlete who lacks confidence in their ability. At first glance, this combination might appear positive. A confident leader should inspire belief and clarity. However, when the balance isn't right, the relationship can unintentionally increase anxiety, self‑doubt and disengagement for the athlete. Drawing on Albert Bandura’s concept of self‑efficacy and Sophia Jowett’s 3+1 Cs coach–athlete relationship model (closeness, commitment, complementarity and...
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In part 4 of this mini-series, David Charlton explores a challenging but common sport dynamic: the high achievement-oriented athlete working with a low achievement-oriented coach. The athlete is organised, early, diligent, and constantly looking for ways to improvetechnical work, gym work, extras, metrics, and a “leave no stone unturned” mindset. But the coach may appear distracted, rushed, inconsistent, late, or disorganised and may find structured goal-setting and CPD stressful. When those worlds don’t align, athletes can feel unsupported, unwanted, and even inadequate,...
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In this episode (part 3) of Demystifying Mental Toughness, David Charlton continues his solo series exploring the 4Cs of Mental Toughness through the coach–athlete relationship lens. The focus this week is Commitment, specifically Goal Orientation, and a common challenge in sport: the mismatch between a highly goal-oriented coach and an athlete who feels overwhelmed, anxious or uncomfortable when targets are discussed. While goal-driven coaches bring structure, clarity and high standards, some athletes experience goals as pressure rather than motivation. Fear of judgement, developing...
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In this episode of Demystifying Mental Toughness, David Charlton continues in part two of his solo series exploring the 4Cs of Mental Toughness through the coach–athlete relationship lens. The focus this week is Emotional Control and a common but misunderstood dynamic in sport: the emotionally reactive coach and the calm, composed athlete. While passion and intensity are often seen as leadership qualities, strong emotional reactions, sarcasm or outcome-focused language can unintentionally create a fear-based environment. When athletes feel judged or humiliated, the brain’s threat...
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In this episode of Demystifying Mental Toughness, David begins a new eight-part solo series exploring how mental toughness shapes the coach–athlete relationship in sport. Today’s focus is Life Control — a part of mental toughness that influences whether people feel able to shape what happens to them, or whether life simply “happens” to them. David explores one of the most common and frustrating mismatches in sport: the high life-control coach and the low life-control athlete. High-life control coaches are driven, organised and solution-focused. They believe effort changes...
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In part 2, David Charlton is again joined by Doug Strycharczyk from AQR International to explore how mental toughness shapes the way we make decisions especially when information is incomplete and pressure is high. Doug explains that confidence is not just about believing in your skills, but also about having the interpersonal confidence to work with others, challenge ideas, and avoid the trap of groupthink. In teams and organisations, those with higher interpersonal confidence are more likely to think divergently, question assumptions, and protect ethical decision-making rather than simply...
info_outlineIn episode 289 of Demystifying Mental Toughness, the founder of Parents in Sport, Gordon MacLelland, shared his journey from having a promising sports career, to coaching and teaching to supporting parenting in sports. He emphasized the importance of understanding individual children's motivations when considering their sporting experience. Also highlighted were the challenges of balancing fun and competitive pressures. The conversation underscored the importance of self-awareness as a parent and being an intentional in the love and support that you offer your children, as a parent in sports, whilst accepting that you and your child are human.
Additionally, David and Gordon stress the benefits of participating in sports on child’s character and mental toughness development, over winning, and the need for realistic expectations.
Key Learning Points:
· Understand your child's motivations for playing sports and why they do it.
· Have regular check-ins with your child to understand how their motivations may change over time.
· Avoid asking questions like "Did you win?" or "Were you the best?" and instead focus on character traits with questions such as “When were you brave?” or statements “I noticed how you bounced back positively after your team lost the first goal by the way you were calling for the ball.
· Be mindful of the timing and approach when having difficult conversations with your child about their sports performance.
· Recognize that success in sports should not be solely defined by performance outcomes, and focus on the wider benefits of participation.
Connect with Gordon MacLelland
Connect with David Charlton
Join David @ The Sports Psychology Hub
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Useful Youth Sport Psychology Resource
Youth Sport Motivation Checklist
Parental Sport Motivation Checklist
Podcast Episodes To Encourage A Positive Sporting Experience For Children
Ep288: Duncan O’Brien - How To Overcome Intense Emotions From Football
Ep285: Adam Batstone - Football Coaches: How To Help Neurodiverse Players Thrive
Ep280: Colm O'Donoghue - How To Help A Young Golfer Who Struggles Playing Strokeplay
Ep279: Ger Fitzgerald - How To Help A Young Cricketer Overcome Selection Difficulties
Ep233: David Charlton - How To Help A Young Footballer Overcome Fear
Relevant Resources To Encourage A Positive Sporting Experience For Children
Blog – 5 Ways to Create a Psychological Safe Sporting Environment
Blog - 9 Tips for Children from Olympians
Blog - 5 Tips for Parents to Help their Children Perform with Confidence
Blog – How to Help Young Footballers Find the Zone