Episode 9: Reclaiming Your Identity as a Physician Spouse-You're More Than Support
Release Date: 07/29/2025
Supporting Physician Spouses
If you’re married to a physician and you’ve been holding a lot this year, this one is for you. Katie and Kendra share highlights from our first year, read reviews from listeners, and tease what’s ahead in 2026, including a Fair Play series and conversations about your family’s ecosystem. As we head into a new year, we’re looking back on the first year of the Supporting Physician Spouses podcast, how it began, what resonated most, and what we’re building next. If you’ve been listening quietly, this is your invitation to step closer. Leave a review, send a DM, or email us with what...
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Today we’re talking about the kind of rest physician spouses actually need during the holidays—especially when the whole world seems to slow down while your home ramps up. If you’re carrying the family load while navigating your spouse’s demanding end-of-year schedule, this episode was made for you. Today we’re talking about… Rest—not the “add another task to your list” kind, but the biological, necessary kind that helps you survive and stay present during an already overwhelming season. In this episode, we talk about: The three types of rest most depleted in physician...
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In this episode, Katie and Kendra talk honestly about what it’s like to attend holiday events solo as a physician spouse. From classroom parties to winter concerts, this season often highlights the unique pressures physician families face. We normalize the mixed emotions, offer simple ways to reduce the pressure to “perform,” and share strategies to stay connected with your partner and present with your kids—even when you’re the only adult who can be there. ✨ Key Takeaways Your presence matters more than perfection. Kids remember how it felt, not whether two parents were in the...
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In this honest solo episode, Katie shares what’s coming up for her as December begins—resistance, overwhelm, perfectionism, small-space stress, seasonal energy dips, and the pressure to “make magic” during the holidays. Instead of powering through it, she slows down and walks through the SEE–SAY–FEEL–DO framework in real time to bring intention, clarity, and compassion into the season. If you’re feeling behind, heavy, stretched thin, or unsure how to make the holidays feel good for you, this episode will feel like a breath of fresh air. Listen In If You’ve Ever Felt: ...
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In this episode, Katie and Kendra talk honestly about navigating holidays in medical families—when schedules rarely match the calendar, traditions shift, and expectations don’t go as planned. Listen If You’ve Ever Felt… Sad or frustrated celebrating without your spouse Guilty for not doing “traditional” holidays Tired of explaining your family’s reality Worried your kids are missing out Unsure how to create meaning when nothing feels normal What We Cover The mindset shift that removes holiday pressure Creating flexible, meaningful traditions Splitting...
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This week, Kendra and Katie unpack a quiet but common struggle among physician spouses: the belief that gratitude and dissatisfaction can’t coexist. We explore: Why so many physician spouses downplay their hard moments The “gratitude as gaslighting” trap How privilege guilt + comparison silence our real needs A simple AND vs BUT framework to spot healthy vs harmful gratitude How to hold emotional complexity without minimizing yourself Four questions to help you take action instead of staying stuck Why acknowledging what’s hard is not selfish—but essential for thriving ...
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When the call schedule explodes, the backup plan fails, and everyone’s unraveling — how do you hold it all together? In the final episode of The Predictability Problem Series, Kendra and Katie unpack what it really means to create flexible family systems that bend but don’t break when medicine runs the clock. You’ll learn: Why rigid plans actually increase stress in high-uncertainty seasons The Plan B Framework — Predict, List, Automate, Name — to restore calm when things go sideways How to build “structured flexibility” that keeps the household steady Why Plan B...
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Even the calmest, most grounded person can feel off balance when their relationship starts to feel like two people living parallel lives. In Week 3 of The Predictability Problem Series, Katie explores how physician spouses can rebuild calm through connection, even when medicine keeps changing the plan. You’ll hear: A real-life story of emotional safety in action Research from Dr. Tate Shanafelt and Dr. Wayne Sotile on what predicts thriving in physician families How much “meaningful time” couples actually need—and what to do if you can’t get it Why micro rituals of connection...
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When the text comes — “Got pulled into a case. Won’t make it for dinner.” — your whole body reacts. The plan falls apart, and suddenly, you’re bracing again. This week, Kendra walks physician spouses through the science of why unpredictability hits so hard — and a powerful, research-backed framework for reclaiming calm in the middle of it. Drawing from cognitive behavioral therapy and resilience training, she shares the ANCHOR Framework — six practical steps to shift from bracing for chaos to anchoring in calm, even when the schedule changes for the hundredth time. You’ll...
info_outlineIn this heartfelt and thought-provoking episode, Kendra and Katie dig into the big question: Who are you becoming through the habits you practice?
After several episodes focused on self-care habits, this conversation zooms out to explore identity, values, and what it means to become someone you're proud of—not just someone who survives the medical journey alongside your partner.
Kendra shares the common experience of “orbiting” a physician’s life and the unintentional way identity can get lost in the role of constant support. Together, they explore how reclaiming identity is not about selfishness, but stewardship—and how building small rituals (called "identity anchors") helps reinforce who you truly are.
Through personal stories—including Kendra’s attempt to run a marathon without fully becoming a runner, and Katie’s reflections on gardening and chasing contentment—they walk through the real-life messiness of becoming and belonging.
Whether you're early in training or years out, this episode invites you to ask a powerful question:
🌀 What kind of woman are you becoming through the habits you practice?
🔑 Key Takeaways:
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It’s easy to unintentionally lose your sense of self when your partner’s career demands so much.
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Identity isn't just what you do—it’s who you are becoming every day through repeated habits.
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Not every desire needs to be delayed; some small desires can serve as powerful identity anchors.
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You don’t have to overhaul your life to start reclaiming yourself—just start with one small habit that reconnects you to your values.
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Pay attention to what shows up more than once in your life—that might be your heart trying to tell you something.
🛠 Reflection Prompt:
What kind of woman are you becoming through the habits you practice?
Are those habits aligned with someone you're proud to be?
📣 Connect with Us:
If this episode resonated with you, share it with another physician spouse who needs this message.
Follow us on Instagram @supportingphysicianspouses or email us at hello@supportingphysicianspouses.com.
And if you’ve got a moment, please rate and review the podcast—it helps others find us and grow this supportive community!