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Introducing "Before Me": A Refugee's Story, Told From Mother to Daughter

Before Me

Release Date: 11/15/2022

Self Evident Presents: “Live! Making Before Me With Lisa Phu” (by The Vietnamese Boat People podcast) show art Self Evident Presents: “Live! Making Before Me With Lisa Phu” (by The Vietnamese Boat People podcast)

Before Me

Our friend Tracey Nguyen Mang, host of the Vietnamese Boat People Podcast, goes behind the scenes with Lisa Phu in this conversation — about how to document the lives of our parents, when that process can feel overwhelming.   This episode, recorded live online, is the Season 6 Premiere of The Vietnamese Boat People, a podcast and nonprofit project that preserves the story of the Vietnamese diaspora community — and provides spaces where people can share their experiences. This latest season of their podcast follows the theme, “Ba, Mẹ ơi” (which roughly translates to "Dear...

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Before Me

to tell us what you think of Before Me! The survey is anonymous, takes 5 minutes, and is incredibly important for helping us take our next steps as an independent studio for stories by and about Asian Americans. We use your answers to better understand your needs as a listener — but we also use your feedback to show how we’re making an impact as we raise funds for our next new podcast season or storytelling program.

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Part 5: Birthday Card show art Part 5: Birthday Card

Before Me

Just before I gave birth to my daughter Acacia, I turned 36. And on my birthday my mom sent me a birthday card that was full of heartfelt words — more than she’d ever written to me before. On the last night of her visit to help me take care of Acacia, as she read the card aloud, I realized how I was — and still am — a part of the lives that came before me. .

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Part 4: Head of the House show art Part 4: Head of the House

Before Me

At the moment my mom steps onto a small fishing boat off the coast of Cambodia, headed for a refugee camp in Thailand under cover of night, she becomes the head of our family. It takes her less than a year to make it safely to her new home in New York, give birth to me, and learn how to be a single parent in the U.S. But it will end up taking her decades to process what she’s overcome, what she’s become, and what she’s left behind on the beaches of Cambodia.

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Part 3: Beautiful Country show art Part 3: Beautiful Country

Before Me

Reunited with my cousin Lynn, my mom becomes a gold dealer to support her growing family — and realizes that the charmed childhood she had in Cambodia is nowhere to be found for her own kids. She recounts the joyful memories that helped her hold on for more than five years as a refugee in Vietnam, before making the decision to leave both countries for good. .

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Part 2: Photograph show art Part 2: Photograph

Before Me

As the genocidal regime of Pol Pot and the Khmer Rouge takes hold of Cambodia, my mom and dad run for their lives — separated from my cousin, Lynn, who's then faced with keeping her siblings alive in a forced labor camp.

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Part 1: Firstborn show art Part 1: Firstborn

Before Me

When I became a parent, my mom flew across the country to help me take care of my firstborn child. And opened up to share a story I’d never fully heard, about her firstborn child — the sister I’ve never met. (Content Warning: Descriptions of death during war, acts of genocide, family separation) .

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Introducing Introducing "Before Me": A Refugee's Story, Told From Mother to Daughter

Before Me

For most of my life, I told a story about how my mom first came to the United States. Some of it was right, some of it was wrong; none of it was actually ever told to her by the people who had lived it. After I gave birth to my first daughter, my mom flew across the country to meet her first grandchild. And during that visit, she finally shared the real story with me. About growing up in Cambodia, fleeing genocide by the Khmer Rouge, surviving as a gold dealer in Vietnam, building a home in America while navigating the fallout and traumas of war… and carrying the future of her children...

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For most of my life, I told a story about how my mom first came to the United States. Some of it was right, some of it was wrong; none of it was actually ever told to her by the people who had lived it.

After I gave birth to my first daughter, my mom flew across the country to meet her first grandchild. And during that visit, she finally shared the real story with me. About growing up in Cambodia, fleeing genocide by the Khmer Rouge, surviving as a gold dealer in Vietnam, building a home in America while navigating the fallout and traumas of war… and carrying the future of her children throughout the journey.

This podcast is a 5-part story that follows one woman’s life, from Cambodia to America, over the course of decades. But it’s also a long overdue conversation between my mom and me about our family’s history — through war and violence, separation and loss, endings and beginnings. 

Because while we may never fully understand the reality of those who came before us, every story is a chance to get closer. And in listening, find meaning in what’s been preserved.

Listen on your podcast app or at beforemepodcast.com

Learn how to conduct an oral history interview with your loved ones at selfevidentshow.com/history