Libsyn Directory

328: Illness, Pain and Advocating for Yourself

Release Date: 07/30/2025

328: Illness, Pain and Advocating for Yourself

The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen

In this powerful episode, Heather responds to a heartfelt question from listener Natalie, who is navigating life with a chronic illness that others often misunderstand. Natalie asks how to advocate for herself without sounding like she’s complaining — a question that resonates with so many living with invisible pain. Through personal stories, insights from neuroscience and psychology, and actionable steps, Heather teaches how to communicate your needs clearly, choose the right audience for your vulnerability, and advocate for yourself with both strength and grace. Whether you're facing...

327: The Science of Charisma with Dr John Antonakis

The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen

In this engaging conversation, Heather Hansen speaks with Dr. John Antonakis, a leading expert on the science of charisma. They explore the definition of charisma, its importance in leadership and influence, and how it can be learned. Dr. Antonakis shares insights from his research, including studies on the impact of charisma on performance and the role of cognitive empathy in effective communication. The discussion also touches on the potential influence of AI on charisma and the importance of genuine human connection in leadership. In this research-packed episode, you'll learn: ...

326: When People Pleasers Aren't Pleased

The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen

In this episode, Heather answers a heartfelt question from a listener named Z about people-pleasing Heather breaks down the root of resentment that often comes from saying “yes” too often — and receiving “no” in return. Through relatable stories and actionable guidance, she empowers listeners to advocate for themselves with confidence and grace. In this empowering episode, you’ll learn: The Resentment Cycle of People Pleasers - Z’s question echoes a common struggle: always saying yes, only to feel hurt when others don’t return the favor. Heather explores how this...

325: The Credible Charisma™ Framework

The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen

In this episode, Heather introduces "Credible Charisma™" as a key to becoming irreplaceable in a world where many feel replaceable due to the rise of AI and other technological advancements. She shares personal experiences and introduces a framework to help listeners cultivate this essential quality. In this insightful episode, you'll learn: The Fear of Being Replaceable: The speaker addresses the widespread anxiety of feeling replaceable, whether due to artificial intelligence, aging, or other life circumstances, and asserts that everyone is inherently irreplaceable. Credible...

324: A Little Intro to Undeniable [Judge Rosemarie Aquilina]

The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen

In this episode, Heather introduces a previously recorded conversation with Judge Rosemary Aquilina from December 30, 2019. This re-release serves as an introduction to Judge Aquilina before she and Heather launch their new podcast, "Undeniable," in August. The episode highlights Judge Aquilina's impactful role in the Larry Nassar case and her unique approach to justice, emphasizing listening and healing. In this insightful episode, you'll learn: Introduction to Judge Aquilina: Heather sets the stage for the conversation, explaining why she's replaying this particular episode and...

323: When What You Want Seems Impossible

The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen

In today's episode, Heather Hansen answers a listener's question from Mary, a woman over 50 who is struggling to find a job and feeling replaced by younger generations. This episode is not only for those in a similar situation but also for anyone who believes something they want is impossible, or who is concerned about artificial intelligence impacting their career. Heather emphasizes that the root of "elegance" is to choose, and she provides three crucial choices to navigate these challenges. In this insightful episode, you'll learn: Addressing the Listener's Core Concern - Heather directly...

322: Why AI Makes Women More Powerful Than Ever

The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen

AI is about to change everything—except what makes you irreplaceable. As artificial intelligence evolves, it's taking over tasks rooted in logic, data, and even decision-making. But there's one thing it can’t replicate: human energy—and women have mastered it for generations. In this episode, Heather Hansen (trial attorney, keynote speaker, and communications consultant) reveals: ✅ Why AI makes your energy your most valuable asset ✅ The 3-step method to master and project energy that influences others ✅ How evolution gave women an edge in the era of “experiential AI” ✅ Real...

321: Delight Over Anger

The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen

In this powerful return to The Elegant Warrior, Heather Hansen shares why she’s reviving the podcast after a heartfelt farewell seven months ago. With honesty, emotion, and insight, she explores the deeper reasons behind her comeback—from honoring her late father to responding to a rising tide of anger in our culture. Heather invites listeners to trade frustration for delight and introduces an exciting new podcast collaboration with Judge Rosemarie Aquilina, Undeniable. Plus, she teases an upcoming episode on why AI is actually good news for women—and how your energy is your new...

320: Your Jury and a BIG Announcement

The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen

Who is your jury? You have one. Your jury is anyone you want to influence and persuade. Your jury is the person/people who give you your wins. And a jury’s job is not to judge. A jury’s job is to listen and to choose what to believe. Your job is to know your jury and give them something to believe. In this episode, you will learn: -How to recognize that you have a jury and to start identifying them -The most important jury you will ever face -The story of the name “The Elegant Warrior” -Heather’s big announcement about what’s next for her and for you! ...

319: Navigating the Angel Investment Landscape: Strategies, Statistics, and Success Stories with Marcia Dawood

The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen

In today’s episode, Heather talks to Marcia Dawood about angel investing and what it means for you. Marcia has been an angel investor for over a decade. She is the author of and hosts . She’s Chair Emeritus of the Angel Capital Association and a founding member of their Growing Women’s Capital Group. Marcia is a member of Golden Seeds, one of the largest angel groups in the US. In this conversation, she shares what angel investing is and why you want to be involved. Heather and Marcia discuss the importance of angel investing, especially for women and people of color. Marcia...

More Episodes

Through personal stories, insights from neuroscience and psychology, and actionable steps, Heather teaches how to communicate your needs clearly, choose the right audience for your vulnerability, and advocate for yourself with both strength and grace.

Whether you're facing chronic illness, emotional pain, or just want to show up better for yourself, this episode will leave you feeling seen, supported, and empowered.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

The First Question to Ask: Before speaking up, Heather shares the key question you must ask yourself: What do I actually want from this person?
Why Hinting Doesn’t Work: Learn how vague expressions of pain don’t lead to help, and how to turn your situation into a clear request.
The Energy of the Ask: How asking with delight (or conviction) radically changes how others respond to your needs.
When to Stay Silent: Why talking about your pain can sometimes make things worse and how to choose when to share, and when to journal instead.
The Power of JournalSpeak: Discover how Heather used Nicole Sachs’ “JournalSpeak” method to reduce physical pain and emotional overload during a crisis.
Why Misunderstandings Hurt and What To Do About Them: Heather explains when to advocate for deeper understanding and when to let people think what they want.
Healing Through Expression: The science behind why venting to people can increase pain, but venting in a journal can actually ease it.
How to Prepare Yourself to Advocate Even When You’re Not at Your Best: Practical tools to reclaim energy, reset your mindset, and step into confident advocacy.

Resources Mentioned:

📚 All of Ethan Kross’ Work
✍️ All of Nicole Sachs’ Work & JournalSpeak Resources

🎧 Nicole Sachs’ Podcast: The Cure for Chronic Pain with Nicole Sachs, LCSW

Bonus Announcement:

📅 Heather's FREE Masterclass – How to Handle Interruptions and Being Ignored

🗓️ August 13 at 3 PM ET

➡️ Learn how to respond to interruptions with confidence and charisma

🎁 We will send you a recording if you can’t make it live. But there is a special surprise if you make it live!

🔗 Register here

In this episode:
[00:00] Listener Natalie’s question: The struggle of invisible illness and being misunderstood

[01:45] Heather’s personal story: Migraines, functionality, and feeling "off"

[03:50] What do you really want? Sympathy, understanding, or help?
[06:00] The golden rule of advocacy: Ask clearly, ask with delight
[08:30] When not to share your pain, and why complaining can backfire
[10:50] Journaling vs venting: Research-backed ways to process emotions
[12:50] The story of Heather’s father, her grief, and how she discovered JournalSpeak
[14:30] JournalSpeak and emotional pain: The power of writing what you can’t say
[16:00] Advocating through pain: How journaling clears the way for charisma
[17:00] Misunderstood? Why sometimes it’s worth correcting, sometimes it’s not

[18:10] Heather’s 3-step framework for self-advocacy while in pain
[19:00] Final thoughts: Vulnerability, visibility, and strength in the face of suffering

Connect with Heather:

The Elegant Warrior Podcast and content posted by Heather Hansen is presented solely for general informational, educational, and entertainment purposes. The use of information on this podcast or materials linked from this podcast or website is at the user’s own risk. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical or mental health condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their healthcare professionals for any such conditions.

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