332: How to Handle Being Misunderstood-3 steps to being understood and stepping into your power
The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen
Release Date: 08/28/2025
343: Speak Up with Judge Rosemarie Aquilina
The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen
In today’s episode, Heather Hansen sits down with her good friend and returning guest, Judge Rosemarie Aquilina, Michigan judge, author, and trailblazer best known for presiding over the Larry Nassar USA Gymnastics case. Together, they dive into Judge Aquilina’s newest book, Speak Up: Lessons in Trusting Your Instincts, and unpack what it truly means to embrace your voice, conquer fear, and stand in your self-worth. Drawing from her decades on the bench, her time in the military, and her role as a mentor for women, Rosemarie shares how we can turn fear into fuel, failure into wisdom, and...
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342: The Secret Formula to Being a Successful Negotiator-Ambition + Empathy with John Lowry
The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen
In today’s episode, Heather sits down with John Lowry, lawyer, negotiation coach, and author of Negotiation Made Simple, to uncover what it really takes to become a confident, effective negotiator. John’s experience as a professor at Pepperdine University’s renowned Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution, CEO of The Lowry Group, and consultant to major organizations gives him a unique lens into the psychology and strategy behind every great deal. Together, Heather and John explore how mastering negotiation isn’t just about tactics; it’s about managing yourself, understanding others,...
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341: Designing Your Home and Your Life. How to Use Design Principles to Get What You Want
The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen
In today’s episode, Heather sits down with award-winning interior designer Manuella Moreira, founder of Manuella Moreira Interiors, to talk about what it really means to advocate for yourself in business, creativity, and life. From her leap of faith leaving a stable job to launching her own design studio, to building a media presence with features in Forbes, The New York Times, and Architectural Digest, Manuella shares how trusting your intuition and showing up with courage can open the doors you’ve been waiting for. Together, Heather and Manuella explore how self-advocacy, boundaries, and...
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340: How to Advocate for Yourself at Work. Step 3-Master the Ask
The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen
In today’s episode, Heather wraps up her three-part series on how to advocate for yourself at work and this one’s all about the magic moment: mastering the art of the ask. If you’ve ever hesitated to ask for what you want because you weren’t sure how to do it gracefully, persuasively, or confidently, this episode is for you. Heather breaks down what true charisma really means (it’s not about being flashy or loud!) and how you can use empathy, storytelling, and the right tone to inspire others to say yes. With powerful stories, evidence-based research, and step-by-step guidance,...
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339: How to Advocate for Yourself at Work. Step 2-Ask for What You Want Out Loud and With Delight
The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen
In this second episode of Heather’s three-part series on how to advocate for yourself at work, she dives into one of the most transformative steps: asking for what you want out loud and with delight. Building on the foundation from Part 1 (“Know What You Want”), Heather explores why choice and energy are everything when it comes to advocating effectively. Asking for what you want isn’t just about words—it’s about how you feel when you ask. From her years as a trial attorney to her experience coaching clients, Heather reveals how shifting your beliefs can transform your results,...
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338: How to Advocate for Yourself at Work-the 3 Steps that Work. Step 1-Know What You Want
The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen
In today’s episode, Heather kicks off a special three-part series on how to advocate for yourself at work, whether you’re seeking a raise, a promotion, or a new opportunity. Advocacy isn’t just about asking, it’s about asking in a way that makes you likely to get it. This first episode focuses on the foundation of self-advocacy: knowing what you want. Heather shares how clarity, specificity, and the courage to want what you want can completely change the way you approach your goals. Through real client stories and practical tools, she reveals why defining what you want is the key to...
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337: Your Extraordinary Life-How to Live It with Simone Knego
The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen
In today’s episode, Heather speaks with Simone Knego, author of The Extraordinary Unordinary You, about what it truly takes to build confidence, embrace your story, and live fully. From adopting three children from South Korea and Ethiopia, to climbing Mount Kilimanjaro, to co-hosting a podcast with her daughter, Simone’s life has been a series of extraordinary experiences that shaped her outlook on resilience, patience, and self-worth. Together, they unpack how confidence is not about being perfect, but about choosing to see yourself differently and taking small, brave steps toward...
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336: 3 Keys to Advocating Without Bragging
The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen
In today’s episode, Heather answers a powerful question from her Instagram community: How do I advocate for myself without bragging? This is a challenge so many of us, especially women, face. How do you share your gifts, your expertise, and your accomplishments with confidence and authenticity without feeling arrogant? Heather breaks it down into three core strategies that will help you shift your mindset and your approach so you can advocate with grace, clarity, and impact. In this episode, you’ll learn: Talk About the Thing, Not Yourself How externalizing your gifts makes sharing them...
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335: How to Teach and How to Learn with Dr Christie McMullen
The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen
In today’s episode, Heather sits down with Dr. Christie McMullen, educator, author, speaker, and leadership expert, to explore how learning truly takes root. With a 25-year career spanning high school classrooms, adult education, and leadership training, Christie brings a wealth of experience to the conversation. Her book, Learning Can Stick: A Guide to Make Every Learning Experience Safe, Logical, Fun, and Memorable, offers strategies for teaching and leading that apply far beyond the classroom. Together, Heather and Christie dive into why everyone is a teacher, whether you’re guiding...
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334: How to Transform Stress to Work for You with Dr Rebecca Heiss
The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen
n today’s episode, Heather speaks with Rebecca Heiss, evolutionary biologist, speaker, and author of Springboard: Transform Stress to Work for You. Rebecca shares her groundbreaking perspective on stress, not as something to eliminate, but as a force you can reframe and harness. With her Fearless Stress Formula, she teaches how to stop fighting stress and instead use it as fuel for growth, resilience, and meaning. Rebecca’s journey spans science, entrepreneurship, and personal challenge from founding an ice cream company to leading discomfort challenges and building communities. Together,...
info_outlineNo one likes the feeling of being misunderstood. It can create frustration, conflict, and even missed opportunities, whether in the courtroom, the boardroom, or at home. In this episode, Heather Hansen shares three powerful steps to move from feeling unseen and unheard to becoming the “queen of your kingdom.”
Drawing from her decades as a trial attorney, her consulting work, and personal lessons, Heather shows why misunderstanding doesn’t have to hold you back. Instead, it can be the very spark that strengthens your clarity, influence, and power.
If you’ve ever felt dismissed, overlooked, or simply not “gotten,” this conversation will help you turn confusion into connection.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
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Why your first choice of thought and feeling determines how others receive you
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How curiosity and compassion create pathways to understanding
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The importance of truly seeing the other person’s perspective before trying to persuade
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Heather’s three-step process: Choose, Understand, Advocate
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How to master “the art of the ask” by using stories, evidence, and energy
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Why delight, not resentment, is your greatest advantage when communicating
Resources & Mentions:
📚 The Elegant Warrior by Heather Hansen
✉️ Join Heather’s weekly newsletter for stories, strategies, and updates
🌐 Learn more about Heather’s consulting and coaching at ElegantWarrior.com
Episode Timestamps:
[00:01] The universal challenge of being misunderstood
[02:00] The “Martian” metaphor for communication gaps
[03:18] Lessons from defending doctors in medical malpractice cases
[05:45] Step 1: Choose your thoughts and feelings
[08:08] Step 2: Understand their perspective before persuading
[12:53] Step 3: Advocate with stories, evidence, and energy
[15:15] Stepping into your power by mastering communication
✨ Quote of the Episode:
"Choose, understand, advocate. When you do, you’ll transform being misunderstood into being powerfully understood." – Heather Hansen
Connect with Heather:
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Heather’s TikTok
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heather@elegantwarrior.com
The Elegant Warrior Podcast and content posted by Heather Hansen is presented solely for general informational, educational, and entertainment purposes. The use of information on this podcast or materials linked from this podcast or website is at the user’s own risk. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical or mental health condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their healthcare professionals for any such conditions.