loader from loading.io

How to Avoid Success From Becoming Self-Destructive

ELITE PerforMENce with Dr. Brad

Release Date: 10/12/2021

3 Keys to Greater Productivity Without Increasing Stress show art 3 Keys to Greater Productivity Without Increasing Stress

ELITE PerforMENce with Dr. Brad

Men, on this week's epiosde , I've got something you need to hear.️ Have you ever felt like you're working hard but it's not getting you anywhere? You're spending all your time getting things done, but it seems like there's never enough time in the day to do everything you want to do. You feel the work you are doing is not in line with the results that are being produced. Trust me — I know how you feel. The truth is that we all have a lot of goals in all areas of life—at work, at home, and everywhere in between.    The key is not working harder—it's working smarter!  ...

info_outline
How To Build Successful Business Relationships show art How To Build Successful Business Relationships

ELITE PerforMENce with Dr. Brad

Men in this episode we will unpack the truth behind what it takes to build successful business relationships. If we had to lock it down to 3 nuggets, here's what they would be!  Person over Performance:  Having a genuine interest in the person…not their performance. Operating with a heart of service over being selfish. and remembering... If it doesn’t fit, don’t force it.    Let's unpack these truths and so much more! Let's win!   Let's talk about it!  If you need help, book a 1:1 Discovery Call with me at https://drbradmd.com Talk to you soon, Dr. Brad...

info_outline
The 3 Behaviors That Prevent Growth & Success in Men show art The 3 Behaviors That Prevent Growth & Success in Men

ELITE PerforMENce with Dr. Brad

If you are experiencing the gravity of being stuck or seem to be experiencing a slow transformation in the areas that you seek to grow, this is the podcast episode for you!  Let's talk about the challenges of inconsistency, independence, and inaction.  Men, what is great is that you have the ability to activate the solution and today could be your day!   Let's talk about it!  If you need help, book a 1:1 Discovery Call with me at https://drbradmd.com Talk to you soon, Dr. Brad

info_outline
Making Critical Decisions: Is it God’s Will or Not? show art Making Critical Decisions: Is it God’s Will or Not?

ELITE PerforMENce with Dr. Brad

How do we know if our decisions are in alignment with God’s will?  If we take an inventory of our work or business, relationships, and health, how do we know that we are where God wants us to be in these areas?   On today's podcast let's unpack the blessing of God and his promises. When we ask the right questions, lean into his stretching, and listen for his confirmation, we will experience the clarity we are looking for!  Let's talk about it!  If you need help, book a 1:1 Discovery Call with me at https://drbradmd.com Talk to you soon, Dr. Brad

info_outline
A Commonly Held Belief That Holds Believers Back show art A Commonly Held Belief That Holds Believers Back

ELITE PerforMENce with Dr. Brad

If you receive what I discuss today it will be transformative to your life…A commonly held belief that holds believers back! Most believers identify ourselves by our behavior and justify continued struggle.. leaving us stuck.    In today's episode we will unpack :    Receiving…not resisting.  Embracing that we are powerful, purposeful, free and in control.  Believing what God says about us.  and so much more!   Let's talk about it!  If you need help, book a 1:1 Discovery Call with me at https://drbradmd.com Talk to you soon, Dr. Brad...

info_outline
How to Influence Change in the Lives of Others show art How to Influence Change in the Lives of Others

ELITE PerforMENce with Dr. Brad

In life , we don't only want the best for ourselves but we want the best for those closest to us. We want to see them:  - Happy, Healthy , & Wealthy We often think, why don’t they just get their act together? It is difficult for us to believe in an ideal situation for them, when we don’t believe in an ideal situation for ourselves.   Truth: We can have a dramatic influence on the lives & results of others! But it begins with our self perception: self-perception provides direction for circumstances. When you change, the world around you can’t help but change! Imagine that! Let's...

info_outline
Avoid This Massive Distraction That Slows Down Your Goals show art Avoid This Massive Distraction That Slows Down Your Goals

ELITE PerforMENce with Dr. Brad

Our goals can come to a screeching halt if you don’t learn how to avoid this massive distraction that most high-achieving individuals are unaware of. Goals seem to move slow and distractions and interruptions make them move slower.   There are both uncontrolled and controlled distractions so how do we navigate through them?  What is the one distraction that can help you move faster?  Let's talk about it today! If you need help, book a 1:1 Discovery Call with me at https://drbradmd.com Talk to you soon, Dr. Brad  

info_outline
Lessons From The Kanye “Jeen-Yuhs” Documentary: Part 2 show art Lessons From The Kanye “Jeen-Yuhs” Documentary: Part 2

ELITE PerforMENce with Dr. Brad

Men, your identity and how you view it through the lens of your business, body, and ability to build healthy relationships is crucial. In this episode we will unpack the power of    Our behavior following our belief.  The power of working smarter and not harder.  Finding purpose through our true identity. and so much more!    Lock in with me to uncover how to Plant some new seeds, Ponder the word, and walk in the power of Personal Development.  If you need help, book a 1:1 Discovery Call with me at https://drbradmd.com Talk to you soon, Dr. Brad

info_outline
Lessons From The Kanye Documentary Pt. 1 show art Lessons From The Kanye Documentary Pt. 1

ELITE PerforMENce with Dr. Brad

What do your desires and dreams look like? How would life look if you could experience your greatest desires and dreams? In the hit documentary Jeen-Yus , Kanye West chronicles his rise to stardom and there are plenty of incredible takeaways.    In this episode we will discuss : Why faith is connected to Clarity, Connection, and Concentration.  The power and definition of faith.    and so much more!   Lock in with me to uncover how to Plant some new seeds, Ponder the word, and walk in the power of Personal Development.  If you need help, book a 1:1 Discovery...

info_outline
Understanding and Overcoming Your Greatest Struggle show art Understanding and Overcoming Your Greatest Struggle

ELITE PerforMENce with Dr. Brad

Today I discuss the science of struggle and how you can begin to achieve your greatest goals and overcome your greatest struggles, once you can understand how the mind works.   If you are struggling in your :  Health Wealth Relationships  or feel :  Like a failure Defeated  Hopeless Frustrated Lock in with me to uncover how to Plant some new seeds, Ponder the word, and walk in the power of Personal Development.  If you need help, book a 1:1 Discovery Call with me at https://drbradmd.com Talk to you soon, Dr. Brad

info_outline
 
More Episodes

How do you feel about yourself when you don’t succeed at something?

How do you feel about yourself when you fail to reach your goal? 

Do you define your identity, self-worth, and value based on your results?

 

For example, do you self-identify with being of value and worthy only once you succeed at something? Do you beat yourself up if you fail to accomplish something?

 

A ‘success mindset’ can be very helpful in our ability to achieve, but if we become dependent on success for our self-worth…it can go from helpful to hindering our effectiveness and fulfillment.

 

Don’t beat yourself up when you don’t succeed at something!! Don’t go down the self-destructive mindset of becoming dependent upon success to have a sense of worth and value.

 

I’ve experienced this self-destructive success mindset before. I only saw myself as accepted and validated once I accomplished something…and if I didn’t, I would feel really bad about myself. I needed to succeed primarily to MAKE ME FEEL BETTER ABOUT ME!!

 

Many of us are striving to achieve something to help us have a sense of value, worth and significance…feel validated. Often times it is success!! Achievement!! Once we achieve something or succeed at something it brings us a sense of worth and value as a man.

  • Once I earn the money, I will have made it…I’ll feel better about myself
  • Once I lose the weight, I will have made it…I’ll feel better about myself
  • Once I launch that next project……I’ll feel better about myself
  • Once I succeed at the next thing……I’ll feel better about myself

 

We become dependent on success and achievement to validate us…to feel worthy…to feel valuable.

 

Definition of dependence: relying on or being controlled by someone or something else

A synonym for dependence is…addiction! We often rely and become controlled by success…it becomes an addiction.

 

The self-destructive success mindset poses a challenge in 2 ways:

  1. When you don’t achieve…you feel inadequate. Because your value is tied directly to your success
  2. No amount of success ever becomes enough. Just like any addiction…what satisfied before, won’t continue to satisfy. Now it becomes a viscous cycle of shame and guilt and feeling less than, because of a constant chase for something you feel you need but can’t ever get to.

 

When we become dependent on something external from us (success, money, titles, what others say, etc.)…aka things we cannot control…to provide validation and fulfillment, we set up an addictive relationship with whatever the outcome is that we want.

  • For example:
    • Money
    • Titles
    • Status

 

Here’s a good way to check if you may be affected from the self-destructive success mindset. Ask yourself these questions:

 

  • “How would you feel about yourself if success in your career or business completely stopped?”
  • “How have you felt about yourself in the past whenever you failed to accomplish a goal?” Do you take it really hard? Beat yourself up?
  • “Would you feel inadequate? Like a failure?”

 

 

It’s ok to feel disappointed, but you can’t stay in those emotions. You can’t turn your mistakes and failures into what defines you.

 

How do you avoid becoming dependent on success for your validation?

 

3 things to understand:

 

  1. Your validation MUST come from INTERNAL, not EXTERNAL from you!
    1. You cannot completely control external circumstances
    2. If you rely on external circumstances to define you, then your emotions and self-worth will be defined by things you cannot fully control
    3. You will become your mistakes
      1. For example: If you failed as a business owner, you cannot define yourself as a person who’s not good at business. It was simply a mistake to learn from…not to self-identify with
    4. Your validation MUST come from who God says you are!
      1. This is validation from INTERNAL, not EXTERNAL
      2. This validation doesn’t change. This validation is consistent.
      3. This validation is the truth of who you are
        1. You are fearfully and wonderfully made
        2. You are made in the image and likeness of God
  • You are more than a conqueror
  1. You will safely experience more success once you depend on your identity in God, than your identity in yourself by your results.

 

Once you see yourself as God sees you…WATCH OUT!!

Similar to basketball, a mistake is no more than a missed shot. Just because Steph Curry misses a shot, he doesn’t self-identify himself as a bad shooter...it’s simply a missed shot. A missed shot doesn’t define who he is as a basketball player. Part of why he’s a good shooter is because he believes himself to be before he ever picks up a ball.

 

Once you see yourself as God sees you, you won’t be a slave to time and circumstances…you’ll rest in the inevitability of your results, because you’ll know who you are…an ELITE MAN!

 

If you need help, book a 1:1 Discovery Call with me at https://drbradmd.com

Talk to you soon,

Dr. Brad