loader from loading.io

How to Avoid Success From Becoming Self-Destructive

ELITE PerforMENce with Dr. Brad

Release Date: 10/12/2021

3 Mistakes That Prevent Men From Reaching Their Full Potential show art 3 Mistakes That Prevent Men From Reaching Their Full Potential

ELITE PerforMENce with Dr. Brad

For many high-achieving men, we lose sleep when thinking about the idea of not fulfilling our full potential. Unfortunately, for many of us, we are not currently on the path to reaching that God-given potential we envision. What’s stopping us? Why do we continue to stay stuck and fail to reach the next level of work and life success. This unfortunately keeps us frustrated and unfulfilled. Today I discuss the 3 critical mistakes that hold us back from leveling up in work and life and solutions to each.

info_outline
How Much Is Your Success Costing You? with Pastor Vincent Campbell show art How Much Is Your Success Costing You? with Pastor Vincent Campbell

ELITE PerforMENce with Dr. Brad

In this bonus episode I interview Pastor Vincent Campbell. He is the lead pastor at The Faith Center in Atlanta and is also an author, successful entrepreneur of multiple businesses and a national speaker. We discuss the cost of chasing success and how many of us are really simply chasing validation. We discuss his views on what it really means to be ELITE and how we as men, can avoid the pitfalls that prevent our full potential. A dynamite interview!!

info_outline
A Key To Overcome Inconsistency show art A Key To Overcome Inconsistency

ELITE PerforMENce with Dr. Brad

Inconsistency is one of the leading causes of the failure to achieve results. Without consistency we can kiss many of our hopes and dreams goodbye. However, many of us suffer from being inconsistent. Despite knowing we need to perform a certain task, we still decide not to do it. In this episode we discuss a unique way to overcome inconsistency and begin to master your tasks so you can experience greater performance in work and life.

info_outline
The Path to Success Without Sacrificing Your Faith show art The Path to Success Without Sacrificing Your Faith

ELITE PerforMENce with Dr. Brad

For many of us, our success has come at the cost of our faith. We believe that we have to choose between either being successful and sacrificing a close relationship God, OR, be close to God and not experience professional success. So the question is…"Can you succeed at an extraordinary level, without neglecting your faith & fulfillment?" In this episode I breakdown this question and answer it definitively for you, so you can confidently live a life of simultaneous success & a strong relationship with God

info_outline
A Simple Key To Unlock More Productivity in Work & Life show art A Simple Key To Unlock More Productivity in Work & Life

ELITE PerforMENce with Dr. Brad

We have multiple responsibilities including work, fatherhood, marriage, business, our health, etc. It can become difficult to get it all done without becoming stressed, overwhelmed, and/or sacrificing areas of life that matter. However, there is a way to work smarter and not harder. There is a way to be more productive and it starts with preparation and planning. In this episode we discuss how the simple act of slowing down and planning and prevent a ton of stress and overwhelm in our work and life.

info_outline
How Toxic Masculinity is Preventing Your Full Potential with Myron Edmonds show art How Toxic Masculinity is Preventing Your Full Potential with Myron Edmonds

ELITE PerforMENce with Dr. Brad

As high-achieving men we often feel like we have to 'have it all together' and end up silently struggling with our secret imperfections and self-destructive behaviors. In this episode, I interview leadership consultant, speaker and coach Myron Edmonds and discuss how authenticity and vulnerability is the key to moving past our current self-limiting behaviors and into our full potential in all areas of our lives. Buckle up your seatbelts...this one is full of energy and nuggets!

info_outline
How to Avoid Success From Becoming Self-Destructive show art How to Avoid Success From Becoming Self-Destructive

ELITE PerforMENce with Dr. Brad

‘Success mindset’ is promoted as being a positive asset to your personal growth and development. However, if not careful, success mindset can turn ‘self-destructive’. It is not uncommon that we become so dependent on success that when we don’t achieve it, it then destroys our feeling of self-worth. Success then becomes an unhealthy addiction. In this episode we discuss how to have a healthy and safe success mindset that will allow you to experience success without it controlling your emotions and

info_outline
How To Navigate A Season of Trials & Challenges show art How To Navigate A Season of Trials & Challenges

ELITE PerforMENce with Dr. Brad

Have you ever been faced with a season of your life when you are faced with multiple difficult challenges both in work and life? It seems like you can’t catch a break and we as men often carry the weight of overwhelm on our shoulders. I know how this feels because I’m currently going through as season of consistent challenges. However, there is a way to successfully navigate this season, so that you can overcome the stress and anxiety, and turn adversity into future achievement.

info_outline
A PROVEN PLAN for Results & Life Fulfillment show art A PROVEN PLAN for Results & Life Fulfillment

ELITE PerforMENce with Dr. Brad

We all have goals that we are so motivated to achieve that we create strategic gameplans to achieve them. However, what happens when your gameplans get changed because of unexpected crisis or adversity? That said, there is one often overlooked, yet unstoppable gameplan for our goals that exists. We unfortunately neglect this gameplan which leads to a lack of results and fulfillment. In this episode we discuss a PROVEN gameplan for significant growth, results, and fulfillment.

info_outline
Living Legendary: Combining Success & Fulfillment with Tommy Breedlove show art Living Legendary: Combining Success & Fulfillment with Tommy Breedlove

ELITE PerforMENce with Dr. Brad

So often times the chase for success comes at too great of a cost. For many of us it can cost us our faith, family, and overall fulfillment. So how do you succeed without neglecting the things that matter? How do you succeed without it costing your life fulfillment? In this episode, Wall Street best-selling author and coach Tommy Breedlove breaks down how to live Legendary and master combining your success and fulfillment. Great episode with tactical strategy!

info_outline
 
More Episodes

How do you feel about yourself when you don’t succeed at something?

How do you feel about yourself when you fail to reach your goal? 

Do you define your identity, self-worth, and value based on your results?

 

For example, do you self-identify with being of value and worthy only once you succeed at something? Do you beat yourself up if you fail to accomplish something?

 

A ‘success mindset’ can be very helpful in our ability to achieve, but if we become dependent on success for our self-worth…it can go from helpful to hindering our effectiveness and fulfillment.

 

Don’t beat yourself up when you don’t succeed at something!! Don’t go down the self-destructive mindset of becoming dependent upon success to have a sense of worth and value.

 

I’ve experienced this self-destructive success mindset before. I only saw myself as accepted and validated once I accomplished something…and if I didn’t, I would feel really bad about myself. I needed to succeed primarily to MAKE ME FEEL BETTER ABOUT ME!!

 

Many of us are striving to achieve something to help us have a sense of value, worth and significance…feel validated. Often times it is success!! Achievement!! Once we achieve something or succeed at something it brings us a sense of worth and value as a man.

  • Once I earn the money, I will have made it…I’ll feel better about myself
  • Once I lose the weight, I will have made it…I’ll feel better about myself
  • Once I launch that next project……I’ll feel better about myself
  • Once I succeed at the next thing……I’ll feel better about myself

 

We become dependent on success and achievement to validate us…to feel worthy…to feel valuable.

 

Definition of dependence: relying on or being controlled by someone or something else

A synonym for dependence is…addiction! We often rely and become controlled by success…it becomes an addiction.

 

The self-destructive success mindset poses a challenge in 2 ways:

  1. When you don’t achieve…you feel inadequate. Because your value is tied directly to your success
  2. No amount of success ever becomes enough. Just like any addiction…what satisfied before, won’t continue to satisfy. Now it becomes a viscous cycle of shame and guilt and feeling less than, because of a constant chase for something you feel you need but can’t ever get to.

 

When we become dependent on something external from us (success, money, titles, what others say, etc.)…aka things we cannot control…to provide validation and fulfillment, we set up an addictive relationship with whatever the outcome is that we want.

  • For example:
    • Money
    • Titles
    • Status

 

Here’s a good way to check if you may be affected from the self-destructive success mindset. Ask yourself these questions:

 

  • “How would you feel about yourself if success in your career or business completely stopped?”
  • “How have you felt about yourself in the past whenever you failed to accomplish a goal?” Do you take it really hard? Beat yourself up?
  • “Would you feel inadequate? Like a failure?”

 

 

It’s ok to feel disappointed, but you can’t stay in those emotions. You can’t turn your mistakes and failures into what defines you.

 

How do you avoid becoming dependent on success for your validation?

 

3 things to understand:

 

  1. Your validation MUST come from INTERNAL, not EXTERNAL from you!
    1. You cannot completely control external circumstances
    2. If you rely on external circumstances to define you, then your emotions and self-worth will be defined by things you cannot fully control
    3. You will become your mistakes
      1. For example: If you failed as a business owner, you cannot define yourself as a person who’s not good at business. It was simply a mistake to learn from…not to self-identify with
    4. Your validation MUST come from who God says you are!
      1. This is validation from INTERNAL, not EXTERNAL
      2. This validation doesn’t change. This validation is consistent.
      3. This validation is the truth of who you are
        1. You are fearfully and wonderfully made
        2. You are made in the image and likeness of God
  • You are more than a conqueror
  1. You will safely experience more success once you depend on your identity in God, than your identity in yourself by your results.

 

Once you see yourself as God sees you…WATCH OUT!!

Similar to basketball, a mistake is no more than a missed shot. Just because Steph Curry misses a shot, he doesn’t self-identify himself as a bad shooter...it’s simply a missed shot. A missed shot doesn’t define who he is as a basketball player. Part of why he’s a good shooter is because he believes himself to be before he ever picks up a ball.

 

Once you see yourself as God sees you, you won’t be a slave to time and circumstances…you’ll rest in the inevitability of your results, because you’ll know who you are…an ELITE MAN!

 

If you need help, book a 1:1 Discovery Call with me at https://drbradmd.com

Talk to you soon,

Dr. Brad