264: Overcoming Perfectionism: Building Self-Compassion for Gifted and Neurodivergent Adults
Release Date: 01/09/2024
291: Reframing ADHD for Black Women with Inger Shaye Colzie
Embracing Intensity
This week on Embracing Intensity, I’m thrilled to finally sit down with the powerful and passionate Inger Shaye Colzie, a therapist and coach working at the intersection of ADHD, identity, and cultural experience. Inger shares her journey of being diagnosed with ADHD later in life, after decades of navigating systems and expectations that didn’t see her neurodivergence—or the unique challenges that come with being a Black woman with ADHD. Together, we dive into her experiences growing up gifted but overlooked, her path to founding the ADHD Black Professionals Alliance, and how she helps...
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290: Executive Functioning with Fizzah Zaidi
Embracing Intensity
Episode 290: Executive Functioning with Fizzah Zaidi In this powerful episode of Embracing Intensity, I’m joined by the insightful and compassionate Fizzah Zaidi, a psychotherapist who specializes in working with neurodivergent individuals. We explore the complexities of executive functioning, and how understanding our brain’s unique operating system can transform how we show up for ourselves and others. Fizzah brings deep experience from her work with high-achieving neurodivergent clients in the tech, medical, and legal fields. Together, we discuss how neurodivergent brains often struggle...
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289: Reclaiming Power Through Art w/ Ilima Considine
Embracing Intensity
In this week’s episode, Aurora sits down with Portland-based multidisciplinary artist and filmmaker Ilima Considine to explore how neurodivergence, art, music, and personal experience intersect to spark powerful creative expression. Ilima shares her journey through long COVID, chronic illness, and how she channels her intensity into film, empowering others in the process. As Ilima prepares to premiere her second feature-length film, Drug Holiday, she talks about the themes of trauma, addiction, and radicalization—and how they resonate with creative and neurodivergent communities. This...
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288: Tasting the Gifted Rainbow w/ Kaitlin Smith
Embracing Intensity
In this deeply insightful guest call, we welcome Kaitlin Smith, a PhD candidate in the history of science at Harvard with a secondary focus in African American Studies. Kaitlin brings a powerful lens to the conversation around giftedness, drawing from her academic research, clinical background, and personal experience as a former support provider for gifted and intense Black adults. This episode explores the intersections of giftedness, race, history, science, and social narratives—inviting us to reexamine what we consider “normal” and how systemic forces shape our understanding of...
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287: The Myth of Work-Life Balance
Embracing Intensity
Is work-life balance real—or just another unrealistic expectation? In this solo episode of Embracing Intensity, I unpack the myth of work-life balance and share my journey toward something more meaningful: harmony. Drawing from my personal life, this episode dives deep into how neurodivergent people navigate work hours, personal time, and the demands of life in a way that feels aligned, not forced. After a summer of restoration and reflection, I’m back working full-time in the school system—and instead of chasing “balance,” I’m creating sustainable rhythms that honor my energy,...
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286: Collective Liberation w/ Caroline J. Sumlin
Embracing Intensity
In this powerful episode of Embracing Intensity, we welcome Caroline J. Sumlin—author of We’ll All Be Free—for a deep, vulnerable, and inspiring conversation about collective liberation, the impact of white supremacy culture, and how we can begin to reclaim our worth. Caroline shares her perspective as a neurodivergent mother, speaker, and educator, and we explore the intersection of self-worth, systemic oppression, and sustainable social justice work. About Caroline J. Sumlin Caroline is an author, speaker, and homeschool parent living in the Washington D.C. area. Her work centers on...
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285: The Power of Mirroring with Sheldon Gay
Embracing Intensity
In this thought-provoking episode of Embracing Intensity, Aurora sits down with Sheldon Gay, host of the I Must Be BUG'N podcast, which amplifies the stories and voices of Black, unidentified, underrepresented, gifted, and otherwise neurodivergent people. Sheldon is deeply insightful, warm, and grounded in his advocacy to humanize the neurodivergent experience. Together, they dive into the power of mirroring—that magical moment when we see ourselves reflected in others—and how it plays a crucial role in identity, belonging, and connection. Sheldon shares his personal journey...
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284: Breaking Through Burnout w/ Brendan Mahan
Embracing Intensity
This week on the Embracing Intensity podcast, I’m thrilled to welcome back the always thoughtful and illuminating Brendan Mahan, founder of ADHD Essentials and creator of the Wall of Awful. In this free-flowing and deeply relatable conversation, we dive into the realities of ADHD burnout, navigating screen time, and what it really means to rest. Brendan and I both share personally about our own experiences with burnout and recovery, and how we’re learning to work with our neurodivergent brains instead of against them. About Brendan Mahan: Brendan Mahan is a speaker, coach, and host of the...
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283: Empowering Neurodivergent Voices w/ Fizzah Zaidi
Embracing Intensity
In this inspiring episode of Embracing Intensity, I’m joined by the vibrant and insightful Fizzah Zaidi, a psychotherapist based in Chicago who works with adults with ADHD, especially those navigating high-pressure environments like tech and finance. We originally connected at an ADHD conference over boots and breakfast, and I’m so excited to bring her energy and wisdom to the podcast! Fizzah shares her journey from a creative career in animation to becoming a mental health professional, her passion for social justice, and how she uses her intensity to empower her clients. Together, we...
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282. Navigating Neurodivergent Burnout
Embracing Intensity
After a bit of a break from long-form content, I’m so excited to be back with a solo episode that’s deeply personal and incredibly timely. I’ve missed connecting with you more intimately through the podcast and am looking forward to bringing you more episodes like this in the coming months. Lately, I’ve been diving into the topic of neurodivergent burnout, something I’ve experienced firsthand and that I know many of you can relate to. I’ve written two blog posts on the topic and shared a companion video on YouTube—and even tested out long-form content on TikTok for the first...
info_outlineAre you a gifted or neurodivergent perfectionist struggling to overcome the damaging effects of perfectionism?
In this episode of the Embracing Intensity podcast, host Aurora Remember Holtzman invites special guest Aileen Kelleher, a therapist and life coach, to delve into the topic of overcoming perfectionism. Together, they explore the intersection between perfectionism and giftedness and discuss the various ways in which perfectionism can impact our lives. From high expectations and low self-esteem to time limits and parental expectations, Aurora and Aileen shed light on the challenges faced by perfectionists and provide practical strategies for managing perfectionistic tendencies and fostering self-compassion.
Join the Embracing Intensity community at embracingintensity.com to dive deeper into understanding and overcoming your own perfectionism. Gain access to courses, tools, and support from like-minded individuals who appreciate and celebrate the power of high personal standards. You can also, explore the free self-regulation workbook for gifted and neurodivergent adults, titled "Harnessing the Power of Your Intensity," which offers a practical guide for overcoming perfectionism and embracing your unique abilities. Visit the show notes or embracingintensity.com for more information and resources.
In this episode:
- The definition and negative impact of perfectionism, including its association with depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem.
- Overlaps between perfectionism and giftedness, such as high expectations, sensitivity, and self-criticism.
- The unhealthy coping mechanisms often employed by perfectionists, such as procrastination and avoidance.
- Strategies for managing perfectionism, including incremental steps, setting realistic goals, and practicing self-compassion.
- The importance of recognizing and embracing the messy nature of overcoming perfectionism and learning new skills.
- The role of self-compassion and cultivating present-moment awareness in overcoming perfectionism and achieving high performance.
- The damaging effects of perfectionism on daily life, relationships, and emotional well-being.
- Practical tips for parents and educators to support gifted children and help them navigate the pressures of perfectionism.
- The unique challenges faced by neurodivergent individuals in managing perfectionistic behaviors and finding balance in their lives.
By addressing the problem of perfectionism and providing practical strategies for overcoming it, this episode offers valuable insights and guidance for high achievers, gifted individuals, and neurodivergent adults who struggle with the damaging effects of perfectionism in their own lives. Tune in to gain a deeper understanding of perfectionism and learn how to cultivate self-compassion and embrace your unique abilities.
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