The Financial Story You Keep Telling Yourself
Emotional Balance Sheet with Paul Fenner
Have you ever noticed that when things feel uncertain, you already seem to know how it's going to turn out? You're not predicting. You're confirming. In this episode, I explore why the story you're already telling about your financial life shapes every piece of information you take in and how that filter quietly drives some of the most expensive decisions families make. I walk through two real family situations where fear and overconfidence each created blind spots, and why the problem isn't the information available to us. It's what we choose to look at. This week, I'm asking you to name...
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The Scoreboard We Never Chose
Emotional Balance Sheet with Paul Fenner
Why do so many people feel financially behind — even when the numbers say they're not? Often, the problem isn't the plan. It's the expectation. Charlie Munger, near the end of his life, gave a one-sentence answer that cuts straight to the point: reasonable expectations. In this conversation, I look at the gap between the life we imagined and the life we're living, and what happens when we never examine where our financial expectations came from in the first place, which may be one of the most underrated financial insights there is. I share the story of a family that had done almost...
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The Story That Spent Your Money
Emotional Balance Sheet with Paul Fenner
Why did a three-minute sideline conversation with another parent almost make me rethink my entire financial plan? This week, I'm digging into why the financial stories we absorb from the people around us, the casual mentions, the social media posts, the dinner table comments, are doing more to shape our decisions than any spreadsheet or data point ever could. I share what I see when families come into my office feeling behind, even though their numbers say otherwise. I talk about how stories hijack our sense of enough and keep moving the goalpost, and why Theresa and I wrestle with the exact...
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The Questions We Forget to Ask Ourselves
Emotional Balance Sheet with Paul Fenner
How much of what you believe about money, success, and parenting is actually true, and how much is just where and when you happened to grow up? This week's episode digs into the uncomfortable questions we rarely ask ourselves about our own blind spots, and gives you a practical filter to sort values worth protecting from scripts worth questioning. I share stories about the gap between what we think we know and what we've actually experienced. From parents struggling to accept their kids' different paths to the life transitions that revealed how little we understood, this episode is about...
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Pessimism Sounds Smart, Optimism Builds Wealth
Emotional Balance Sheet with Paul Fenner
Why does bad news feel so convincing while good news feels like a sales pitch? If you've ever caught yourself doom-scrolling financial headlines and then second-guessing your entire plan, you're not alone. In this episode, I explore why pessimism sounds smart, why optimism has been the better long-term bet, and how busy parents can filter out the noise without burying their heads in the sand. I share a story about a client who almost made a fear-driven decision and talk about my own battle with pessimistic thinking. This week's action: notice where your financial anxiety is actually coming...
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What To Do When The Plan Stops Working
Emotional Balance Sheet with Paul Fenner
You made the plan. You ran the numbers. You did everything right. So why does it feel like you're one unexpected expense away from starting over? This week, I am focusing on what happens when the plan stops working, and why that might not be the disaster you think it is. I share a story about a family whose perfect five-year projection fell apart after an unexpected health diagnosis, and what they discovered in the rebuilding. I also cover my own experience navigating career changes and raising triplets +1 when plans rarely survive contact with reality. Your action step: Look at your...
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The Price and Pressure to Create Perfect Memories
Emotional Balance Sheet with Paul Fenner
What happens when the opportunities we give our kids become the pressure we put on ourselves? Dr. Jennifer Dragonette, our resident therapist expert, is back with us to dig into the gap between what we want for our families and what our families actually want. It started with a cruise my triplets didn't enjoy, a conversation with another dad at a basketball game, and an NHL hockey player from our local high school who was the star goalie in the recent winter Olympics. Our conversation focuses on the instinct to provide our kids with opportunities we never had, and how that instinct can...
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Can We Really Do That?
Emotional Balance Sheet with Paul Fenner
What happens when you're doing everything right on paper but still feel one car repair away from a financial meltdown? Or when you're fully present with your kids today but have no idea how you'll pay for college in five years? Most families I work with fall into one of these two camps, and both are fragile in different ways. This week, I'm exploring Morgan Housel's idea that the best way to deal with uncertainty is to save like a pessimist and invest like an optimist. I share stories of two families on opposite ends of this spectrum, why holding both mindsets at once feels so...
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Why Quiet Time Is Your Most Valuable Financial Skill
Emotional Balance Sheet with Paul Fenner
I'm wrestling with a question that's been on my mind lately: Have we given money a job it simply can't do? There is a complicated relationship between money and our emotions, and how we sometimes hope numbers and bank balances will take away our fear or anxiety, even though those are emotions, not equations. Inspired by Carl Richards' book "Your Money," I talk about how our financial lives and our feelings are tangled together, especially for those of us in the thick of parenting, where there's never really an "off season." With insights from thought leaders like Morgan Housel, I explore...
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When Money Buys Everything Except the Time to Enjoy It
Emotional Balance Sheet with Paul Fenner
You're earning more than ever, but do you actually control your time? Most families discover that financial success came at a cost they didn't expect to pay. In this episode, I explore the real dividend money provides: not fancy stuff, but time autonomy. I share the pattern I see in families who've achieved financial success but lost control of their schedules, and why the finish line with kids at home comes faster than you think. This week's challenge: Name three things you did for money that cost you time. Then ask if the trade was worth it. Connect with Paul If you're a family with...
info_outlineHow do you put a value on memorable experiences?
After reading a moving LinkedIn post from my friend Samantha Russell, who lost her husband and is now raising three kids on her own, I found myself reflecting on my own family's journey. Our triplets started high school this year and our plus-one daughter tackles her own busy calendar.
With the chaos of managing busy schedules, there is a temptation to worry about what's next, which can easily cause precious moments to slip by. To help with this chaos, I talk about a meaningful tool I use in my financial planning practice that really puts into perspective just how many summers we have left with our kids.
For me, it's not about planning big, lavish vacations, but about making our time intentional, whether it's a dream trip, a simple backyard hangout, or a concert I've waited years to see. Unlike money, once a moment is gone, it can't be replenished. The number of summers left with loved ones is finite, and being aware of this helps us prioritize what matters.
I hope by the end of this dialogue, you can ask yourself, what's one simple way you're being intentional with your time this week?
Connect with Paul
If you're a family with multiple kids who feel like your money should be working harder but aren't sure where to start, I do complimentary 30-minute financial reviews. Schedule a meeting here.
For resources discussed in this episode, visit tammacapital.com/podcast.
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