Patient or Just Stuck?
Emotional Balance Sheet with Paul Fenner
Work with Paul: How do you tell the difference between being patient with your money and just being stuck? Today I want to work through an idea about long-term thinking: know the very few things that will never change, and put everything else in a bucket that needs constant updating. I use the example I see most often, a job change, where a stack of retirement and account decisions gets made in week one and then quietly runs for years on settings nobody chose on purpose. I lay out the two-bucket sort I use to tell a permanent decision from one that simply has a shelf life. I also get...
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When the Right Call Looks Wrong
Emotional Balance Sheet with Paul Fenner
Work with Paul: What do you do when the smartest money decision you made is the one you can’t stop second-guessing? In this episode, I dig into a line from Morgan Housel about how it’s possible to make good decisions that don’t work and bad decisions that work beautifully. I talk about why that lands so hard for families who built their careers in fields where good process reliably produces good results, and why money refuses to play by those rules. I use the example I see most often: families with a large portion of their net worth tied up in company stock, and a decision to trim...
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Two 401(k)s and Nobody Watching
Emotional Balance Sheet with Paul Fenner
Work with Paul: What if your money problem was never a behavior problem? I keep coming back to the idea that doing well with money is mostly about patience and long-term thinking. I believe that. But what if you're already cleared that bar, and not where you want to be? You saved through every downturn since 2008. You never panic sold. But your financial lives are still not where you want them to be, and it costs real money. I walk through what actually goes wrong: two 401(k)s that were never looked at in the same window, a household stock allocation that nobody chose on purpose, equity...
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The One-Page Form Most Busy Parents Miss
Emotional Balance Sheet with Paul Fenner
Work with Paul: When was the last time you actually read the beneficiary designation on your 401(k) at your previous employer? In May, I sent every family I work with a current readout of their beneficiary designations across every account I track for them. It was the highest-response email I sent all year. For some families, everything was clean. For others, there were gaps we addressed that week. In this episode, I walk through what's actually on those forms, why a beneficiary designation overrides your will, and the technical points that catch busy working families off guard: ERISA...
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The Principles Are Simple. Your Life Isn't
Emotional Balance Sheet with Paul Fenner
Work with Paul: What if you already know the financial principles you need? What if the problem isn't strategy, but execution across a life that's grown too complicated to coordinate yourself? This week, I work through a Morgan Housel idea pulled from a John Reed book. Most fields or industries have three to twelve core principles, with the rest focused on implementation. In finance, the principles are stable. Your life is not. I share a story about a dual-income family with three kids and six accounts spread across three custodians, where nobody was actually steering the ship. And a...
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The Version of You Your Money Is Still Working For
Emotional Balance Sheet with Paul Fenner
Work with Paul: When was the last time you actually updated your financial life to match the person you've become, instead of the person you were when you first set everything up? This week, I break down two questions about disagreement and experience and turn them inward. I share the story of a senior director whose retirement contribution rate, cash reserve target, and investment allocation were all set for a version of her that hadn't existed in over a decade. And I share what 13 years of moving taught me about how my 30-year-old instincts still fire in a life that no longer needs them....
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Your Paycheck is Not Your Safety Net
Emotional Balance Sheet with Paul Fenner
Work with Paul: As I reflect on the ideas in this podcast, I realize they all point to the same underlying principle: the importance of creating a gap in my financial life. That gap is the distance between what I earn and what I spend, between the plans I make and the unexpected events life inevitably brings. True freedom isn't about having unlimited wealth; it's about having enough margin to make choices on my own terms and adapt when circumstances change. What stands out to me is how easy it is to confuse financial success with financial security. I can have a strong income, be saving for...
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Why We White-Knuckle the Seasons We'll Miss
Emotional Balance Sheet with Paul Fenner
Work with Paul: What is it about May that makes time feel both five months long and two days short? Dr. Jennifer Dragonette is back with me to unpack the season we now call Maycember. The graduations, the finals, the last concerts, the last games, the recitals, stacked on field trips, stacked on state testing. The season that asks senior‑level parents to be in three places at once and bring snacks to all of them. We get into a concept called time travel and why most of us are constantly five minutes ahead or three days behind, but rarely where our feet are. I share a confession about...
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The Plan I Wrote Fifteen Years Ago
Emotional Balance Sheet with Paul Fenner
Work with Paul: What if the long-term financial plan I built five years ago is now describing a family I no longer have? That is the question I have been sitting with. December 9, 2010, is the day my triplets were born, and the day I founded TAMMA. Fifteen years in, I can tell you neither plan I wrote that day survived. And that was never the goal. In this episode, I share the number of short runs I did not account for in my own life, walk through a family that has been through five major transitions in five years, and unpack why senior professionals can be sophisticated about iterative...
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The Most Expensive Story You Tell Yourself
Emotional Balance Sheet with Paul Fenner
Work with Paul: What if the long-term financial plan I built five years ago is now describing a family I no longer have? That is the question I have been sitting with. December 9, 2010, is the day my triplets were born, and the day I founded TAMMA. Fifteen years in, I can tell you neither plan I wrote that day survived. And that was never the goal. In this episode, I share the count of short runs I did not account for in my own life, walk through a composite client family who has been through five major transitions in five years, and unpack why senior professionals can be sophisticated...
info_outlineHow do you put a value on memorable experiences?
After reading a moving LinkedIn post from my friend Samantha Russell, who lost her husband and is now raising three kids on her own, I found myself reflecting on my own family's journey. Our triplets started high school this year and our plus-one daughter tackles her own busy calendar.
With the chaos of managing busy schedules, there is a temptation to worry about what's next, which can easily cause precious moments to slip by. To help with this chaos, I talk about a meaningful tool I use in my financial planning practice that really puts into perspective just how many summers we have left with our kids.
For me, it's not about planning big, lavish vacations, but about making our time intentional, whether it's a dream trip, a simple backyard hangout, or a concert I've waited years to see. Unlike money, once a moment is gone, it can't be replenished. The number of summers left with loved ones is finite, and being aware of this helps us prioritize what matters.
I hope by the end of this dialogue, you can ask yourself, what's one simple way you're being intentional with your time this week?
Connect with Paul
If you're a family with multiple kids who feel like your money should be working harder but aren't sure where to start, I do complimentary 30-minute financial reviews. Schedule a meeting here.
For resources discussed in this episode, visit tammacapital.com/podcast.
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Bucket List Items Don't Need To Be Big