Hannah Montana: The Movie
Escape From Vault Disney
In this episode, we're bypassing the randomizer for yet another Guest's Choice episode, in which our good friend Randee Martin makes us watch the 2009 theatrical feature film adaptation of the obscenely successful Disney Channel sitcom where a teen pop star played a teen pop star, expanding the premise's canvas from a tacky little three-camera standard-definition digital video setup to a full-blown beautifully-filmed Panavision cinematic experience. And what better way to pad out the additional 80 minutes or so of screentime than with shoe fights, plate smashings, mall vilifications,...
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Timeless Heroes: Indiana Jones & Harrison Ford
Escape From Vault Disney
In this episode, the randomizer goes all the way back to 2023, the year intrepid explorer and archeologist Dr. Henry Walton "Indiana" Jones, Jr. returned to the silver screen as a very old man in a movie about a dial of some sort of destiny. But the randomizer didn't pick that legacy sequel, it picked a tie-in documentary about the very legacy that led to that sequel in the first place, a legacy that very nearly prominently involved Tom Sellick until fate mercifully intervened and instead cast the legendary thespian from some Space Battles movie of some sort who also went on to appear in such...
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Vampirina: Ghoul Girls Rock!
Escape From Vault Disney
After yet another unexpectedly-long hiatus, in this episode the randomizer goes all the way back to 2018 and 2019, to a complete series of interstitial music videos that tied in to yet another Disney Junior series that taught pre-school children the importance of diversity and self-esteem, except in this particular series, the metaphor for "being different" they went with was making the title character a mythical undead humanoid creature that traditionally subsists on human blood. That's right, if you thought the sparkly vampires of Twilight were an insult to Bram Stoker, get ready for a...
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The Little Mermaid (2023)
Escape From Vault Disney
After an unexpectedly long hiatus, we are back with a new episode in which the randomizer goes all the way back to 2023, to one of the seemingly hundreds of times Disney has taken one of their beloved awe-inspiring unforgettable animated masterpieces and reimagined it as a tolerated "meh"-inspiring live-action blockbuster that costs more than the GDP of most countries and completely leaves your memory before you even find your car in the parking lot. This time, they got around to remaking the film that changed animation forever, the era-defining fairy tale classic that revitalized the company...
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A Very Jonas Christmas Movie Yule Log
Escape From Vault Disney
SURPRISE! Happy holidays, folks! Join Tony Goldmark and a Surprise Special Guest as they curl up by the Christmas tree with a warm blanket and a mug of hot cocoa and enjoy A VERY JONAS CHRISTMAS MOVIE YULE LOG! Check out this podcast on social media! Bluesky: Host's Bluesky: Twitter: Host's Twitter: Facebook Group: YouTube: Hear new episodes early and AD-FREE by supporting this show on Patreon:
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Chueco's Christmas and other Christmas shorts
Escape From Vault Disney
What do acclaimed Italian opera tenor Andrea Bocelli, a hideous whiskey-drinking Spanish-speaking monkey puppet, and the daughter of the Queen of Hearts all have in common? Well, apart from that unforgettable evening at Burning Man a few years back, absolutely nothing...until now. For our one and only Christmas episode of 2025, the randomizer is going all the way back to the mid-2020s to pick a trio of Christmas shorts - a Simpsons short where the "Con Te Partirò" guy serenades the most important family in Springfield, an Argentinian sitcom special where a repulsive talking monkey puppet...
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The Art of Skiing and other Goofy shorts
Escape From Vault Disney
For our fifth and final episode of the cartoonishly-inaccurately-titled Patreon Request "Month" 2025, the randomizer is going all the way back to the 1940s to pick Landon Knoke's request for four specific vintage animated shorts in which everyone's favorite dimwitted cartoon dog-man tries his white-gloved hand at that eternal lifework of dimwitted dog-men everywhere, athletics! Every physical activity from plummeting down a steep snowy mountain with large wooden sticks on your shoes, to hitting a small ball with a different kind of wooden stick and running around in a circle, to carrying a...
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BONUS MINISODE! Don't Forget to Stay Deeeeemented!
Escape From Vault Disney
This coming weekend, The Dr. Demento Show comes to an end after an incredible 55 YEARS on the radio and/or internet. And in this special bonus minisode, I veer off-topic from what we usually cover on this podcast to discuss who Dr. Demento is and what he and his gloriously demented show has meant to me, and play my brand-new tribute song all about him, "Smogberry Pie." Dr. Demento's official site, featuring The Dr. Demento Show archives: "Smogberry Pie" annotated lyrics:
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Who Framed Roger Rabbit
Escape From Vault Disney
It's our fourth episode of the increasingly-inaccurately-titled Patreon Request "Month" 2025, and in the longest official episode of this podcast to date, the randomizer is going all the way back to 1988 to pick ArthurCrane's request for, quite simply, one of the greatest cinematic triumphs of all time, a tour-de-force of animation, live action and pre-CGI special effects wizardry, wrapped up in a still-relevant metaphorical fable about civil rights and gentrification set in an impossible fantasy world that combines a gritty film noir aesthetic with off-the-wall cartoon zaniness. Directed...
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Spider-Man (2002)
Escape From Vault Disney
It's our third episode of Patreon Request "Month" 2025, and the randomizer is going all the way back to 2002 to pick Joejira's request for one of the most groundbreaking superhero epics of all time, a box office record-shattering worldwide phenomenon that finally brought one of the most legendary comic book characters ever created to the big screen in a timeless coming-of-age fable about great power and great responsibility, helmed by an offbeat yet aesthetically perfect visionary filmmaker. It also contains an extended cameo from a dead pro-wrestler who used to do Slim Jim commercials, a...
info_outlineIn this episode, we're bypassing the randomizer for yet another Guest's Choice episode, in which our good friend Randee Martin makes us watch the 2009 theatrical feature film adaptation of the obscenely successful Disney Channel sitcom where a teen pop star played a teen pop star, expanding the premise's canvas from a tacky little three-camera standard-definition digital video setup to a full-blown beautifully-filmed Panavision cinematic experience. And what better way to pad out the additional 80 minutes or so of screentime than with shoe fights, plate smashings, mall vilifications, multi-colored chicken coops, inexplicable alligators, slightly-less-inexplicable ferrets, coconut-induced "Aloha Oe" parodies, British creeps slipping on walnuts, excruciating additions of hip-hop into hoedowns, and cameos from Taylor Swift, Tyra Banks, and of course the REAL star power in this thing, Barry Bostwick? Actually, come to think of it there are many MANY better ways to pad out a feature-length movie than all that nonsense, but that's what the filmmakers chose and now we're stuck with it. Join Tony Goldmark, Randee Martin, Kit Quinn and Agatha Vile as they illegally download the entire discography of HANNAH MONTANA: THE MOVIE!
More info on Dolly Parton's Imagination Library: https://imaginationlibrary.com
Check out my guests' stuff!
RANDEE MARTIN
Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/dollirot.bsky.social
KIT QUINN
Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/@channelkrtpodcast7050
AGATHA VILE
Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/agatha-vile.bsky.social
And check out this show on social media!
Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/vaultdisneypod.bsky.social
Host's Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/tonygoldmark.bsky.social
Twitter: https://twitter.com/efvdpodcast
Host's Twitter: https://twitter.com/tonygoldmark
Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/972385353152531
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/tonygoldmark
Hear new episodes early and AD-FREE by supporting this show on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/tonygoldmark