Shame vs. Guilt: How Empathy Heals Sexual Wellness and Relationships
Release Date: 12/05/2025
Beyond the Performance: Ms. Amanda on Authenticity, Community, and Building an Adult Empire Promoting Sex Positivity
Oh F*ck Yeah with Ruan Willow
Season 6, Episode 714: Building a Sex-Positive Community Through Multiple Ventures with guest Ms. Amanda Websites Studio Main swinger page When Ms. Amanda describes her journey from camming to running Full Swap Radio and Kasbh Studio, she reveals something unexpected: excitement, not fear, fuels her work. This multifaceted creator has built an empire around authenticity in an industry often criticized for being artificial. Throughout the conversation, Ms. Amanda explains her approach to filming adult content with remarkable honesty....
info_outline
Reclamation, Delicious Sex After a Work Trip
Oh F*ck Yeah with Ruan Willow
Season 6, Episode 713, A Replay: The Coming Home Reclamation, Delicious Sex After Being Gone. An erotic story written and narrated by Ruan Willow. Kevin had been on a work trip, and Jenna was lusting heartily for his return. He'd shown his desire and excitement to return home to her, and his strong passion, by texting her steamy sexts during his travel. He had her on the verge of climaxing just by using his phone, but once he arrived, their foreplay skyrocketed into an intense fiery blaze, and they had the most delicious sex ever. Kevin had made plans to re-establish his leadership in...
info_outline
Dean Robert Holmes on Creativity, Identity, and Queer Romance
Oh F*ck Yeah with Ruan Willow
Season 5, Episode 712: What happens when creativity becomes both escape and healing? Dean Robert Holmes, a transmasculine author from St. Paul, Minnesota, uses writing to manage schizoaffective disorder and explore identity through fiction. Since 2020, he's written over 350 fanfics and 2.5 million words (that's equivalent to five copies of Stephen King's "It") before publishing his collection "Unlocked: Seven Titillating Tales of Gay Trans Love and Lust." Dean identifies as aegosexual, experiencing attraction only through third-person perspectives, and thrives in a relationship with his...
info_outline
Treading Water Spicy and Caring Sex Scene Excerpt by Dean Robert Holmes
Oh F*ck Yeah with Ruan Willow
Season 5, Episode 711: Treading Water Spicy and Caring Sex Scene Excerpt written and narrated by Dean Robert Holmes. The characters are Susie and Westie. This is an excerpt from Dean Robert Holmes's upcoming book "Treading Water". Triggers with this excerpt include poverty, homelessness, explicit sex scene and language, chronic pain, body image issues, panic attacks, and mention of religion. Author Bio: Dean Robert Holmes (he/him) is an aegosexual, transmasculine author and artist who uses creativity to manage schizoaffective disorder. Like many alphabet porn purveyors, he got his start in...
info_outline
Breaking Sexual Shame: Women's Bodies, Pleasure, and Self-Discovery with Dr. Stacy Friedman
Oh F*ck Yeah with Ruan Willow
When was the last time you truly prioritized your own pleasure? For over two decades, Dr. Stacy Friedman has been helping women understand what many were never taught: basic knowledge about their own bodies. With 26 years in medical practice and 20 years specializing in sexuality, she's witnessed how inadequate sex education and cultural shame leave women disconnected from their anatomy (even something as fundamental as the body organ called the clitoris). The conversation reveals a surprising statistic, only a small percentage of women achieve orgasm through penetration alone, yet this...
info_outline
Sex with the King Scene Excerpt from Rejecting Queendom, & Presenting Myself
Oh F*ck Yeah with Ruan Willow
Season 5, Episode 709: Excerpt from Rejecting Queendom, a spicy Romantasy now in ebook, paperback, and audiobook. Book Blurb: A love too good. Power and intrigue can't fill a void in any heart but set it searching for something more. Gabriella and Nocter fell in love as most do, but the difference was theirs bloomed in the sea. Their world was surrounded by the magical realm of the ocean, so their hearts were easily lulled into pristine moments that promised to be shining collections of the most amazing golden memories. They couldn't get enough of each other, nor could they steal...
info_outline
From Challenge to Bestseller: Mallory Glass on Writing Sensual Fiction, Plus Spicy Romance Book Excerpt
Oh F*ck Yeah with Ruan Willow
Season 5, Episode 708: "Why are men so sexy in gray sweatpants?" she asked. (from the excerpt at the end of the episode from the book "Me + You" by Mallory Glass, coming soon! Narrated by Ruan Wilow.) What happens when an old friend's challenge sparks a secret writing career that garners thousands of views overnight? Mallory Glass found out! Twin Cities romance author Mallory Glass didn't expect her foray into sensual fiction to take off so quickly. After initially writing in secret, she published a 75,000-word story on Literotica that consistently earned ratings around 4.7 to 4.8 stars. Her...
info_outline
Older Woman, Virgin Younger Man First Time Scene from the Book Me and You by Mallory Glass
Oh F*ck Yeah with Ruan Willow
Season 5, Episode 707: Romance Book, Fiction Excerpt with an Older Woman and Virgin Younger Man, First Time Scene from the Book Me and You by Mallory Glass, narrated by podcast host and narrator Ruan Willow. In this scene, the two MCs run into each other in the library on a Saturday night and adjourn to a basement office where they’ve been fooling around together for the past few weeks. They had planned to have sex for the first time earlier that week but were interrupted. That was followed by tension between the MMC crossed the boundary they had set on the limits of their...
info_outline
Spicy Queer Romance, Authentic Voices, and Writing What Matters with Author Cozy DuBois
Oh F*ck Yeah with Ruan Willow
Season 5, Episode 706: When Cozy Dubois started writing fiction in 2022, it wasn't about chasing publishing deals or awards. This queer, trans, and neurodivergent author from Minneapolis simply wanted connection during pandemic isolation, and what emerged was something far more powerful: the Confession series, an ensemble romance celebrating chosen family and authentic queer experiences. Here's what makes Cozy's approach refreshing. They write across the entire spice spectrum, from closed-door romance to books with up to ten intimate scenes, but always with consent and emotional connection at...
info_outline
Tempting Tara Excerpt by Cozy DuBois, Waking Hot and Horny Scene
Oh F*ck Yeah with Ruan Willow
Season 5, Episode 705: Enjoy an excerpt from the book "Tempting Tara", written by Cozy DuBois, narrated by podcast host Ruan Willow, then come back and watch the full interview episode featuring Cozy DuBois! Tempting Tara (affiliate link) Book Blurb published online: With a former fling now a cherished friendship, Tara secretly longs for more. But is desire enough to bridge two damaged souls? Tara Sanderson is determined to be a good friend when Lee and Antonio's upcoming wedding means countless hours in close company with Gabe Cooper, the best man and her secret ex-flame. Armed with...
info_outline**Shame doesn't just make you feel bad, it fundamentally shapes how you experience your own body and desires.**
Returning guest Dr. Alison Ash breaks down exactly why shame is so destructive to sexual wellness. Unlike guilt (which says you did something wrong), shame tells you that *you yourself* are wrong, creating a deep fear of rejection that literally dysregulates your nervous system. This isn't something we're born with. It develops through early experiences where we internalize negative reactions, eventually becoming that harsh inner critic voice.
The contradictory messages are especially confusing: women should look desirable but not actually desire, while men should always be sexually available yet their desire is somehow dangerous. These cultural and religious influences create confusion that conscious rejection alone can't fix.
Here's where it gets interesting: empathy is shame's antidote. When someone truly accepts you without judgment, healing becomes possible. (This is why finding sex-positive communities matters so much.) Dr. Aly explains how even BDSM can be healing for trauma survivors through consensual power exchange—reclaiming control over experiences where they previously had none.
What if the fantasies or interests that make you feel broken are actually completely normal?
Ready to understand the difference between your own feelings and society's expectations? This conversation offers practical strategies for recognizing shame's sources and reclaiming your agency.
Estimated Timeline:
00:00:00 - Moving Through Shame and Sexual Wellness
00:02:09 - Guilt vs Shame: Understanding the Inner Critic
00:04:47 - Inner Shame and Sexuality's Cultural Conditioning
00:08:56 - Shame's Impact on Sexual Pleasure and Embodiment
00:10:48 - Shame, Empathy, and Healing Through Connection
00:14:33 - Power Exchange as Healing and Shame Reframing
00:17:43 - Reading Fiction as Healing and Normalization
00:19:14 - Shame Prevents Us From Enjoying Pleasure
00:21:33 - Building Trust Through Gradual Vulnerability
00:26:02 - Understanding Sexual Non-Concordance and Shame
00:28:45 - Unpacking Body Shame Through Conversation
00:32:56 - Lubrication Myths and Sexual Shame
00:35:17 - Being Selective About Who You Share With
00:37:09 - Sex Toys as Tools, Not Shame
00:41:12 - Internet's Role in Community and Identity
00:44:00 - Building Sexual and Emotional Intimacy Skills
Sexual and Emotional Intimacy Skills online course on Tues, Jan 27th-Mar 17th
We all receive messages about who we are supposed to be, how we ought to feel, and how we should express ourselves, often enforced through shame and disconnection. Featuring 8 classes with a woven balance of science-based data, embodied exploration, and skills development designed to support you in creating, deepening, and sustaining sexual and emotional intimacy in your relationship(s). Recordings available for those who can't attend live or want extra review. Super early bird tickets available now for $200-$400 off!
Newsletters https://subscribepage.io/ruanwillow
https://linktr.ee/RuanWillow
Affiliate Firm Tech 15% OFF with code ruan15 https://myfirmtech.com/ruanwillow