158. How real women stop hiding to promote themselves and be more visible

How real women stop hiding to promote themselves and be more visible

 

Welcome to this very special mini-series for International Women’s Day but not only that I am also celebrating 10 years in my business.

Now, this one feels a bit special to me. Because over the next few episodes, you’re not just going to hear from me - you’re going to hear from some absolutely brilliant women I’ve had the privilege of working with over the years. We’re catching up. We’re hearing what’s happened since. We’re talking about what visibility has actually changed for them.

And honestly? Some of these conversations gave me goosebumps.

But before we dive into those interviews, I wanted to kick us off properly. I want to talk about why this matters. Why visibility matters. Why it’s not fluffy. Why it’s not self-indulgent. And why, if we’re serious about women’s career progression, it’s non-negotiable.

Because here’s the thing.

Women are not lacking in talent.
We are not lacking in capability.
We are not lacking in qualifications.

What we are often lacking is visibility.

And that is not the same thing.

 

The Visibility Gap

For years - decades - we’ve been told:

“Put your head down.”
“Work hard.”
“Don’t blow your own trumpet.”
“Good work speaks for itself.”

Spoiler alert: it doesn’t.

Not in the rooms where decisions are made.
Not in the conversations where promotions happen.
Not in the spaces where opportunities are handed out.

And so many of the women I work with come to me saying things like:

• “I don’t want to look arrogant.”
  
  

• “I don’t want to put myself out there.”
  
  

• “I’m not ready yet.”
  
  

• “Who am I to say that?”
  
  

• “I hate talking about myself.”
  
  

Sound familiar?

And this is where the barriers come in.

Because it’s not just confidence. It’s conditioning.

We’ve been socialised to be modest. To be grateful. To not take up too much space. To not be “too much.” And let’s be honest - women who are visible often get labelled in ways that men simply don’t.

Too loud.
Too ambitious.
Too pushy.

Too difficult

Too emotional
Too confident.

But here’s what I say - and I’ve been saying this for ten years now (and those of you that know me well know I have been saying this for a lot longer than that)

If you are not visible, you are optional.

And I don’t want you to be optional.

10 Years of This Work

I’ve been doing this specific work for a decade now. And its all come from my own experience of hiding behind others, employees, behind the brand, behind my fears.

Ten years of helping women own their voice, own their expertise, own the space they walk into.

And in that time, I’ve worked with over 5,000 women in some form or another. From right back in the beginning, if you were with me back then and Fiercemums and a random blog I decided to hit publish on after a few wines with my sisters that built a huge community of women wanting to find their fierce, from the threats of law suits because apparently there is a woman who owns the word fierce so I couldn't use it in anymore, and so came The F Movement and you can imagine the F words that came up from that, from facebook lives to awareness workshops, to intimate networking events for introverts in business, 

From 1:1 coaching sessions where we’re unpicking years of self-doubt…
To group programmes where women find strength in community and RiSE together…
To interactive workshops where lightbulbs go off across the room…

To work with male allies because women's career progression and the gender pay gap isn't only a woman's responsibility to sort out,
To keynote talks -from Barnsley to Barcelona already this year - and across time zones that have absolutely ruined my sleep pattern but been worth every second.

Different industries. Different countries. Different levels of seniority. Different women.

But the one thing in common?

They want to be seen.
They want to be heard.
They want the recognition they deserve.
They want to showcase how bloody brilliant they are and what they bring to the table.

And not in a fake, performative way.

In an aligned, grounded, authentic, powerful way. The women usually show up anyway.

Why Visibility Matters for Career Progression

Because visibility isn’t about being famous. 

It’s about being known for what you want to be known for, so that in turn you can make a difference, an impact and influence others in a positive way

It’s about:

• Being front of mind when opportunities arise.
  
  

• Being invited into rooms you used to wait outside of.
  
  

• Being considered for promotion.
  
  

• Being asked for your opinion.
  
  

• Being paid properly for your expertise.
  
  

Because here’s the uncomfortable truth:

You can’t progress in a career where nobody knows the value you bring.

You can’t influence decisions if people don’t associate you with leadership.

You can’t change systems if you’re not in the room.

Visibility creates influence.
Influence creates opportunity.
Opportunity creates progression.

And progression is what creates change - not just for you, but for the women coming up behind you. Its ultimately why I do this work.

The Barriers That Keep Women Small

So why don’t we just all “put ourselves out there”?

Because it’s not that simple.

Some of the biggest barriers I see time and time again:

1. The Good Girl Conditioning

2. Perfectionism 

3. Fear of Judgement

4. Imposter Syndrome

5. Lack of Role Models

And none of this is about individual weakness. Women arent broken. We dont need fixing.

What Happens When Women Do Become Visible

Now here’s the exciting bit.

Over the next few episodes, you’re going to hear from women who have done this work.

Women who once told me:

• “I hate talking about myself.”
  
  

• “I don’t see myself as a leader.”
  
  

• “I’m just doing my job.”
  
  

And now?

They’re leading teams.
They’ve stepped into promotions.
They’ve changed roles.
They’ve raised their profiles internally and externally.
They’re speaking at events.
They’re influencing strategy.
They’re setting boundaries.
They’re owning their expertise.

And the ripple effect has been huge.

Not just in salary.
Not just in job titles.
But in confidence.
In presence.
In how they introduce themselves.
In how they walk into rooms.

Visibility changes how other people see you.

But more importantly — it changes how you see yourself.

Why This Mini-Series Matters for #IWD

International Women’s Day can sometimes feel like a lot of hashtags, purple balloons and cupcakes.

And don’t get me wrong — I love a cupcake like the rest of them

But the real work?

It’s this.

It’s the daily decision to speak up.
To put yourself forward.
To challenge the narrative that says “wait your turn.”
To build careers that reflect your capability.

This mini-series is about showing what’s possible.

It’s about real women. Real journeys. Real shifts.

Not overnight transformations.
Not glossy highlight reels or so called social media influencers.

But practical, grounded examples of what happens when women stop hiding.

A Personal Note

When I started this work ten years ago, I didn’t know it would grow into what it has.

I didn’t know I’d be working across time zones.
I didn’t know I’d be speaking in cool places like Brighton and Barcelona.
I didn’t know I’d have the privilege of meeting and supporting over 5,000 women.

But I did know one thing:

There are too many brilliant women being overlooked.

Too many ideas not being heard.
Too many promotions missed.
Too many pay rises not asked for.
Too many women playing small to make others comfortable.

And I wasn’t — and still am not — okay with that.

Your Invitation

So as you listen to this series, I want you to ask yourself:

• Where am I holding back?
  
  

• Where am I waiting for permission?
  
  

• Where am I downplaying what I do?
  
  

• Where could I be just 10% more visible?
  
  

Because visibility isn’t about becoming someone else.

It’s about becoming more of who you already are — out loud.

You deserve to be seen.
You deserve to be heard.
You deserve recognition.
You deserve progression.

And not because it’s International Women’s Day.

But because you’re bloody brilliant.

 

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Thank you for being here.

 And thank you to all the women I have had the privilege to work with.  

Thank you to all the organisations that have invested in their women because they understand the assignment.

In the next episode, you’ll hear from our first incredible guest, and I cannot wait for you to hear her story.

Until then — take up space. Own your voice. And stop making yourself smaller. If you are waiting for permission to stop hiding then this is it.  

Get in touch if you've been with me since the beginning (have we known each other for ten years or more) or maybe you are brand new here - let me know what you brought you here and what has resonated?

Speak soon. 💛

 

I want to hear from YOU so get in touch with me:

Book a chat with Gemma - This is the place to book a call to see how Gemma can help you or your company support female leaders to raise their profile, increase performance and visibility and build more allies.

Get the White Paper > ‘Visibility at Work: The Importance of Self Promotion for Women’s Career Progression

Connect with your host Gemma Stow:

Website: https://www.gemmastow.com/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/gemmastow/

LinkedIn: Business Page https://www.linkedin.com/company/no-more-hiding/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nomorehidingco

Blue Sky: https://bsky.app/profile/gemmastow.bsky.social