Listening to Life: My Guided Psilocybin Journey
Spaces Between
Psychedelic experiences are notoriously hard to render in words; to try is necessarily to do violence to what has been seen and felt, which is in some fundamental way pre- or post-linguistic or, as students of mysticism say, ineffable. Emotions arrive in all their newborn nakedness, unprotected from the harsh light of scrutiny and, especially, the pitiless glare of irony. Platitudes that wouldn't seem out of place on a Hallmark card flow with the force of revealed truth. -Michael Pollan Themes in this personal episode: The importance of set, setting, and safe facilitators....
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Episode 46: Jenna K: Healing Trauma Held in the Body and a Journey of Softening into the Heart
Spaces Between
In this conversation, I sit down with my friend Jenna K., to discuss her ceremonies with MDMA and psilocybin. We discussed her "Why?" and this space of pain and trauma living in her body - that she couldn't quite access for over a decade with other modalities. It led Jenna to want to explore on a deeper level with plant medicine, to heal what was held in her body for so many years. Themes within the discussion: Feeling the "call" to sit with the plant medicine. The deep surrender to letting go of control. Feeling safe enough in the life that she had created, to feel...
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Episode 45: My guided MDMA session - Seeing with the heart
Spaces Between
After being a therapist for over a decade and being committed to my personal therapy for years... I decided it was time for me to heal on a deeper level. Every bit of my intuitive being knew that I needed to heal trauma and imprints from life on a cellular level. To show up as a better partner and mother, but most importantly... healing the relationship with myself. What I learned is that talking through our problems only goes so far and we must tap into the body to truly heal trauma. Themes in this episode: Trusting myself and trusting life A complete surrender to the...
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Episode 44: Existential Kink
Spaces Between
I’ve been thinking a lot about individual and collective shadow. How do we keep our hearts open during dark times? We all must become closely acquainted with our shadow or dark side. Each of us has a dual nature: we are light (conscious) and dark (unconscious). The dark side of our personality—the “other,” the shadow side—is made up of what we think is our primitive, primal, negative impulses—our “existential kink.” Our existential kink also drives the dark or negative repeating patterns in our life: always choosing the abusive partner or boss, settling for less, thinking...
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Episode 43: What I learned this year and my one intention for 2024
Spaces Between
The predominant theme for me in 2023 was transitioning to becoming a mother and how that impacted all areas of my life. The most profound initiation, unraveling of my old self, and opening to the fiercest love that I’ve ever experienced. The deep vulnerability in that. The expansion and contraction of my heart from current world affairs and the climate crisis. To a deep commitment to keeping my heart open to all of it.
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Episode 42: We will not know peace until...
Spaces Between
“Since Auschwitz we know what man is capable of. And since Hiroshima we know what is at stake. Human kindness can be found in all groups, even those which as a whole it would be easy to condemn.” The salvation of man is through love and in love.” -Viktor E. Frankl Humanity feels like it is on a precipice and that we are in the eye of the storm collectively. I understand that humanity has experienced 200,000+ years of war, but these times feel particularly charged right now. In this episode I talk about: Whether or not humanity can ever live in a peaceful...
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Episode 41: Birthing yourself, Ketamine, and IFS
Spaces Between
I sit down with Psychotherapist and Journey Clinical KAP provider, Holly Forman. We discuss Holly’s decision to have a home birth, the balance of preparation and surrender, and ultimately birthing a new version of yourself. We discuss: The similarities of psychedelic journeys and birth Women advocating for themselves, gaining knowledge about the birthing process, and not feeling like you have to give your power away The balance of preparation and complete surrender to the unknown Humans fear what they don’t know Birthing yourself How as humans we often want to...
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Episode 40: Birth, Tears, and Motherhood
Spaces Between
In this episode back, after an almost 9 month hiatus from podcasting, I explore my experience birthing a human. The big tears of overwhelm and joy shed in the postpartum period, as well as my feelings around the often bullshit narratives around motherhood. In this episode I explore: The humility and surrender that I experienced both with birth and new motherhood Embracing the total unknown and liminal spaces between Women stepping fully into their power and not overriding their deep intuitive knowing The deep feminine wounding that still continues to play out amongst mothers (Insert...
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Episode 39: Spaces Between
Spaces Between
I decided to write this episode on the very last leg of my third trimester in pregnancy . I have had the most illuminating experience of what living in the “Spaces Between” in life really means. It is a potent energetic space which is both awe inspiring and completely overwhelming. To fully surrender to the unknown or attempt to control how you think life is going to unfold. The only life experience that I can compare it to - is the passing of my mother at 17 years old. It is impossible to know or intellectually understand the full magnitude of a major life transition. All of us humans...
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Episode 38: Christine Mourad, LMFT: Self-Compassion, Couples Therapy, Trauma, and Safety in Relationships
Spaces Between
In this episode I sit down and have a conversation with my personal couples therapist, Christine Mourad, who is one of the most skilled and brilliant therapists I have worked with. It's been some time since my last episode, "I See You In Me", but I have not stopped pondering the necessity of creating safety, empathy, and compassion in our personal relationships which extends outward in society. We cover: Giving yourself a big fat spoonful of grace, realizing you are a work in progress, and not a fully realized being. The importance of self compassion. Sensing into the body and...
info_outline- The intergenerational trauma, oppression, and patriarchy that needs to be looked at and deeply felt.
- One of the only ways to heal is to feel our rage, fear, and anxiety...but to hold it compassionately and with presence.
- Most of us operate from the limbic part of the brain, which is a bottom up response of survival and reactivity.
- We need to learn how to have a top down response of self regulation, soothing, and pause from the frontal cortex.
- When we don't learn to sit with our feelings of vulnerability, we "bad other" other human beings.
- Becoming more compassionate to oneself and others is not about being weaker, passive, or complacent.
- As Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. says, "It's about engaging the soul force."
- We forget the amazing resilience of our ancestors and of life.
- Whenever the dominant strata of society feels threatened, which is predominantly white Christian male, they become more threatened, that dominant strata becomes more cruel, more hateful, and more violent, more punishing, and more oppressive.
- It’s contagious. We get angry and hateful towards those. We then react in aggressiveness.
- It perpetuates suffering and then we fall deeper and deeper into the dark ages.
- When others are caught in the shadow and unprocessed feelings their violence brings up our shadow.
- That hatred never ceases by hatred. But by love alone is healed.
- Practical tools and applications for self-compassion practices in your life.